Promise Me: Some friendships are made to be broken (Beggar's Choice #1)

by Lily Morton

  “Yes, that’s what’s so good about it,” he declares making me gasp in pain. Did he not want me to be friends with them anymore? “Besides, this friendship thing had to stop at some point, and thank god he’s starting to get his head out of his arse at last. I tell you we’d despaired of him ever getting his head straight before he did something stupid with one of his slappers. Mabe you’re a fucking miracle worker love,” and he grabs my face and plants a smacker on my lips.

  Shoving him away roughly I scrub my mouth. “Sid Hudson, I haven’t got the faintest idea what you’re on about. Do you not like me or something? Why don’t you want me to be friends with him?”

  “Fuck off Mabel,” he says sternly. “You know that’s not true. I love you. You’re as much my sister as if you’d been born that. I couldn’t love you any more than I do now.”

  Tears threaten because I do believe him. “But why don’t you want Charlie and I to have that too?”

  “Because that’s just not right Mabe. You and Charlie have always been meant for other things and not this friendship shit. You both drive me fucking mad with your insistence that you’re like brother and sister. You’re just not and you never have been. Look, you’ve been in love with him since we were kids.” I try to protest because this is way more brutally honest than Sid and I have ever been, but he grabs my chin. “Don’t try and deny it. If the overdose taught me anything it’s that life is too short for this shit. You love him and he’ll never find anyone that suits him better or loves him more than you. It’s like you’ve been put here just for him because you’re so perfect for him.”

  “Much as that’s lovely Sid have you ever thought that that’s all on my side? You’re ignoring the very real fact that he’s never touched me like that before or given any indication that he wants me.”

  “Really? Were you there when he beat up Rob?”

  “That was different. Rob was cheating on me.”

  “Oh, then how about every bloke he sees you with then? Deny it to me now that he doesn’t almost put a don’t touch sign up around you. Mabe, he can’t stand any bloke touching you, including me for fuck’s sake. If he pissed on you it couldn’t be clearer. You can’t deny this Mabes,” he warns, as I shake my head. “He’s the reason why no bloke sticks around too long. He’s like a fucking guard dog!”

  “That’s just him Sid. He doesn’t want his friend hurt and he thinks a lot about his friends’ happiness.”

  “You know what Mabes? You’re actually the only woman that he ever thinks about or cares about. No one talks shit about you because that’s the fastest way to end up with his fist down their throat. When you’re hurt he’ll move heaven or hell to fix it. Anything good happens you’re first on the speed dial. Anything bad it’s the same thing. He remembers your birthday and I can definitely say he doesn’t do that for anyone else. He knows what you like and what you hate. He even fucking knows you’re allergic to shellfish.”

  “That’s just friendship Sid.”

  “No Mabes, that’s a marriage.”

  We both still at the words and fall silent. My heart is beating heavily like it’s trying to escape out of my mouth. I hear what Sid is saying but I know it’s not true. Charlie has never really given me any indication that he wants me for real. The events of the last few days are an anomaly, probably caused by stress. What could he possibly see in me anyway? I’m just his red headed friend from childhood and he means too much to me to try to change that when the only outcome I know now will be embarrassment and losing him.

  I turn to Sid and he must read my reply in my face because he slumps slightly.

  “You’re not going to try are you Mabe?”

  “I can’t Sid. Please try and understand. He’s everything to me and if I do what you say I could lose him forever. You’ve seen what he’s like at the moment. If I force him into a corner that could be the permanent outcome. Anyway, he’s not exactly fighting for me at the moment or at any time is he? He could have declared himself a long while ago.”

  “You don’t see it like I see it Mabe. I see a man who’s cruised along fucking everything but not letting anyone close to him. He didn’t need to, because you fulfilled that need. Then all of a sudden you up and disappear for a few months, and you didn’t see him then Mabes. He was lost during that time, he just covered it up better. I think that time apart gave him a bit of a wakeup call over what it would be like if you weren’t on the other end of the phone anymore. That, compounded with suddenly finding out that you’re not actually the Virgin Mary, and seeing for the first time that he could really lose you in a final way to a husband and children that aren’t his. That’s why he’s been like this for the last few days. You’re just not seeing it.”

  I struggle with the most painful fact of all. “He’s not attracted to me. A relationship has to have that.”

  “Really Mabes because that hard on he’s been sporting since we got here kind of makes that a ridiculous thing to say. He’s always been attracted to you. He watches you all the time and not just your eyes. He’s had an obsession with your tits since we were teenagers.”

  “Ugh, Sid don’t be disgusting,” I cry and shove him, but he catches me in a loose embrace.

  “Please try Mabes,” he whispers. “I’m telling you the truth. He needs you and you just need to give him a push and he’ll fall all the way. I promise.”

  I stare into his eyes and feel a sense of tentative joy unfolding in me. He’s telling me the truth and I know this because Sid would never lie to me and he knows Charlie better than anyone on this earth. They’re incredibly close and always talking together.

  “Do you really think he loves me?” I whisper, and he smiles widely.

  “He really does Mabes, you just have to let him realize it.”

  Our moment of quiet communion is abruptly broken by a hard knock on the door. Breaking away from Sid I shout to come in and Charlie pops his head around the door. He’s freshly shaven for the first time this week and looks gorgeous in a faded striped shirt and old jeans that hang from his narrow hips, along with checked Vans, and he’s twirling his car keys on his finger. He gives us a lightning glance noticing our physical closeness and for a second something tightens in his face, but then it relaxes and he grins at his brother. “Alright mate,” he says. “I thought I’d find you in here. Listen I’ve got to nip to the airport so we’ll finish the song when I get back okay?”

  “Are you going away Charlie?” I say in a light-hearted tone willing him to look at me properly. If he would only look closely he’d see inside me I know it. His gaze comes back to me and cools slightly before he relents and laughs happily. I stare at him bemused. “You seem happy,” I say faintly.

  “Well I am,” he says almost defiantly. “Noa just rang. She’s coming back early so I’m off to pick her up. That’s good news isn’t it?”

  “Brilliant,” I say in a whisper, watching the two brothers slap each other’s back and then Charlie walks out of my room.

  An awkward silence descends. “Mabes,” starts Sid, his voice an agonized whisper.

  “Sidney Hudson,” I say in a clear voice. “If you ever try to give me relationship advice again I will cut your balls off while you sleep. Do you understand me?” He nods reluctantly. “Now I’m going to get changed and we’re going out for a light run together and we are never, never, never going to mention this conversation again. Are we in agreement?”

  “Yes Mabes,” comes the quiet reply, and then I’m left alone to force the tears in my eyes back down to join the ones in my chest that are still waiting to get out.

  A couple of hours later we jog back in through Charlie’s front gate neatly avoiding the ever present paparazzi. Thankfully I put big sunglasses on to hide my red eyes, but they work equally well at covering my red, sweaty face from the photographers who’ve taken more unflattering pictures of me over the years than I care to count. Once, I kid you not, one even lay on the floor to take a picture up my skirt, although he did come to regret that whe
n Charlie got hold of him. It’s the only time I’ve ever condoned Charlie’s tendency to use his fists on my behalf. In fact he swears to this day that I joined in but I really can’t remember that.

  The Porsche is pulled up at a rakish angle outside the house and I deduce, Sherlock Holmes that I am, that they must have just got back because the engine is still ticking. Hooray for me. I may die alone as a cat woman but I will still have magical detective powers. We pause outside to stretch and cool down and Sid takes the opportunity to proffer yet more unwanted advice.

  “Just be strong now Mabes. She’s a bitch but she’s a temporary bitch and you’d better remember that. They never last, you do.”

  I sigh. My secret is out in the open between us now and I mourn for a second for the time when we just pretended that everything was okay and I didn’t have to feel embarrassed and a bit like a charity case. However, I love Sid so I cut him some slack.

  “Okay babe,” I mutter, leaning on his shoulder for a moment. His arm comes around me and I register that he hasn’t even broken a sweat, the bastard. “Did you go on the same run as me?” I ask. “Because you look like you’ve just been for a quick stroll while I look like I’ve run two marathons.“

  He gives me his glorious sidelong smile. “You know what Mabes? I think you might have been onto something with this running shit, because I actually really like it. I’ve been nipping out most mornings which you’d have noticed if you left your bedroom.”

  “Really?” I say, and looking at him closely for the first time in a few days I realize that he looks well. The bags which have been under his eyes for years are gone, his skin is clear and glowing with a deeper tan than normal, and he’s put on some much needed weight in the form of roped muscles running down his torso.

  “Jesus, Sid you look almost buff babe. Although, it’s almost girly how little you sweat, do you know that?”

  He snorts out loud in a most unattractive sound, and then laughing out loud he tries to tickle me. This is a complete no go and the brothers have known this for years, ever since I accidentally broke Charlie’s nose by kicking out when he was tickling me.

  I back away shrieking. “Fuck off Sid, don’t you dare,” and then I trip on the edging stones and fall flat on my back. Before I can move he’s on me, straddling me and forcing his armpit in my face.

  “Take it Mabes, you know you want it. That’s manly sweat right there hooker!”

  I shout out, laughing and trying to buck him off. “Did you just call me hooker, homeboy?”

  Our shouts and hollering are abruptly bought to an end by an ice cold voice. “What the fuck are the pair of you doing? Do you realize that there are two fucking photographers taking pictures as I speak?”

  We both slowly turn our head to see Charlie’s checked Vans tapping an agitated beat next to our heads, and then as if synchronized we allow our gazes to run up his body to his blue eyes which are currently iced over in displeasure, and then past him to two portly, middle aged men whose cameras are whirring. Making an effort to smile for the cameras, Charlie hauls Sid up and slaps him on the back, which from Sid’s wince actually carries quite a bit of weight behind it.

  “Now both of you get your fucking arses inside the house and come and say hello to Noa,” he says in a lethal voice, and then stalks with all his grace back towards the house.

  We stare after him for a second and then we look at each other and break into giggles simultaneously. “Alright dad,” shouts Sid. Charlie’s back stiffens for a second, and then obviously deciding to ignore us manfully, he disappears into the house with us trailing after him like recalcitrant children.

  Inside the hall we pause, but we’ve no need to track Noa because as normal she’s left stuff everywhere. Three suitcases lie by the stairs looking like bombs have exploded out of them as they trail a multitude of tiny coloured thongs and matching tiny bras.

  “It’s like a teeny tiny fairy’s lingerie shop,” I say wonderingly and Sid snorts again. Smiling affectionately at him I stare at the two vanity cases and the dozen or so bags that track a path towards the lounge. “I have never seen anyone carry as much luggage as her, ever,” I whisper.

  “Models,” says Sid in explanation with a shrug.

  “Yes, but they’re tiny little people so surely their teeny, tiny clothes should take up less room than normal humans.”

  “She needs a fucking dozen cases to carry her fucking attitude,” he mutters, kicking one of the vanity cases with a vicious nudge as Noa’s sultry voice filters out of the lounge.

  “Sidney is that you my love? Come and let me look at you.”

  Her voice is truly lovely for such a cow, all Spanish accented, exotic and liquid sounding, but Sid persists in the notion that she sounds like Manuel from Fawlty Towers, and he likes to mutter ‘Mr Fawlty. Mr Fawlty’ when she’s not listening. Now though, he grimaces in horror. “That’s the way my Aunt Gladys used to summon us when we were kids,” he whispers.

  “You go in,” I whisper, shoving him slightly to get him moving. “I’m going for a shower.”

  “I’m doing this for you Mabes,” he says sulkily. “I don’t think this is something that my rehabilitation counselor would want me to do.”

  “I can’t believe you’re using rehab as an excuse not to sit with a Spanish supermodel. You’re such a wimp.”

  “Believe it,” he mutters, making his way towards the lounge like a sulky five year old.

  An hour later I decide I really can’t politely stay in my room any longer and I head downstairs slowly. I’m wearing a peppermint green shift dress which has big blowsy pink roses on it, a cowl neck and has a hem that sits a couple of inches above my knee. Charlie bought it for me from a little boutique in Barcelona and it’s one of the most flattering dresses I own making my tan look even browner. I’ve teamed it with strappy flat sandals and my make-up is subtle yet flattering while I‘ve left my hair loose. None of this really makes a difference when you’re going to be in a room with a supermodel, but a girl has to have some pride.

  I enter the lounge and there she is - Noa in all her glory. She’s curled up tight against Charlie on his massive sectional sofa and although I don’t like her, even I have to admit that she’s stunning. Slender with golden brown, clear, glowing skin and a mane of beautiful black hair she and Charlie look like light and dark together and they’re a very beautiful couple. They’d make amazing babies I think with a sigh and then plaster a smile on my face as all three occupants notice me.

  “Fable,” says Noa with a slight question at the end.

  “Noa,” I reply stoically, ignoring Charlie muttering, “Mabel, it’s Mabel, Noa.” I know she knows who I am and what my name is. She summed me up within seconds of meeting me and decided that she detested me just as quickly. I can’t blame her for this though because the feeling is decidedly mutual.

  Sid is sitting slightly apart from the happy couple and grabbing hold gratefully of the hand he holds out to me I allow him to pull me onto his knee. It’s not even nearly the first time we’ve sat like this and I couldn’t ever think of Sid as anything but my brother, but from the look that Charlie gives us you’d think we’d started having sex on the settee. Thankfully he clears his expression as Noa looks at him and settles for smiling at her lovingly. My nails must catch in Sid’s hand because he winces and unobtrusively switches my hand to his knee.

  “Are you staying here now Mabel?” Noa swings her unwelcome attention back to me.

  “Erm yes,” I stutter, caught off guard that she doesn’t know.

  “Noa,” says Charlie chidingly. “I told you that Mabel was staying here when Sid came out.”

  “Aah,” she says, staring into space. “My fault. I have so much on my mind mi querido that little things slip to one side.”

  Yes, that’s right folks I’m so insignificant to a supermodel that she doesn’t remember me moving in with her boyfriend. My place has been well and truly set.

  She laughs and even this is musical. “You know for a
second I thought that you had been thrown out of your flat. Charlie is always worried that you won’t have the money to pay your rent.”

  I’m so flabbergasted at the fact that she’s managed to make me into a total deadbeat that I’m actually struck dumb, but Sid stirs. “It’s a mortgage Noa, not rent. Mabel owns her flat unlike the European way of doing things. In fact Mabes has been amazing,” he carries on loyally. “I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for her and Charlie.”

  “Of course. Of course,” she says waving her hand royally and dismissively. “It is nice that Charlie can afford to pay for her. It is nice to have rich friends Mabel, no?”

  “He’s not paying me,” I say heatedly before Charlie really seals the deal.

  “She’s worth every penny,” he says firmly. I’m sure that he thinks he’s sticking up for me but he’s just made it sound like I’m a prostitute for fuck’s sake and I glare at him.

  Unfortunately, he’s nuzzling Noa’s neck so it’s wasted on him.

  “Wow, it’s just like Pretty Woman,” Sid whispers in my ear. “You’ll look lovely in that red dress and white gloves Mabes, although I can‘t see Charlie with his head poking out of a limo‘s sun roof!”

  “The only way I’ll need gloves Sidney, is to commit a murder undetected,” I say glaring at Noa who’s completely oblivious and proceeds to steer the conversation back to her favourite subject - her and famous people. Excluded from this, because let’s face it they don’t shop at my local branch of Sainsbury’s, I drift off from the conversation and look idly around Charlie’s lounge. It’s a lovely room with massive bifolding glass doors that open onto the patio. The furniture is all straw colours and beiges and seriously deep and comfy, and it sets off the beautiful, bold abstract paintings on the walls. However, it’s definitely a boy’s room with a huge plasma screen in the corner and a stereo that looks like it should be on the control deck of a spaceship. There are also two walls of bookshelves that are jammed with books. Charlie may not look it with his rocker persona but he’s a voracious reader and if he sits down he’s usually got a book near him.