True Refuge

by Annabelle McInnes

  ‘Will you stay?’ she asked on a quite breath, pulling at a lock of her hair as Euan removed the dirt from her abraded knees with gentle swipes of a clean, wet cloth.

  He looked up from where he knelt at her feet. His gaze caught hers and he was once again struck by the impossibility of her, the beauty and perfection of the moment.

  ‘We’ll stay,’ he told her, because he could say nothing else.

  Her eyes shone. They were as blue as the ocean, as brilliant as a diamond. Her bottom lip trembled. ‘Forever?’

  His fingers tightened on the cloth. It was warm. It had been scorching, made that way by hot water that ran out of a working faucet. His throat was thick, clogged with all feelings he couldn’t name. ‘For as long as we can,’ he vowed.

  Nick shucked most of his clothes too, leaving only his loose faded-blue boxer briefs low on his hips. Euan didn’t miss the look Kira let linger on the man’s defined pelvic muscles, forming a provocative V that pointed directly towards his crotch. Nick packed a punch underneath that thin fabric, and it was noticeable as he shifted and rolled to get himself into bed and under the covers.

  Euan left his pants on, but removed his faded short-sleeved shirt. He placed his boots next to both Nick’s and Kira’s beside the door and felt a slice of painful longing at the domestic sight.

  He felt the heat of Kira’s gaze slide over his skin. Her eyes were obsidian in the limited light emitted by a single LED globe in the roof. She feasted upon his revealed skin like a woman starved—and maybe, for human contact, she was. When her eyes alighted upon the deep bruising that marred his body, particularly his upper forearm, he silenced her questions with a glance and a grunt.

  They remained silent throughout, but their actions spoke louder than any words could. Euan and Nick’s caresses were lingering. Kira’s glances were prolonged but her touch was fleeting, as if she were afraid to enjoy the fulfillment and warmth that came with the closeness of another human being, just in case it flittered away.

  They were all aware of not breaking the cocoon of sanctuary they had created inside the beige, low-ceilinged room. They barely knew each other. They were in the middle of an apocalypse. The combination of genitals could easily spell danger. But Euan did not keep his caresses solely to Kira, and he did not withhold the heat from his glances towards Nick. Kira didn’t miss this bold statement and seemed comforted by it, which made it easy for Euan to see the benefit to continuing.

  It was a tight fit, the three of them twisting themselves onto the mattress built for two. But with Kira’s petite frame stretched out between them and Euan’s large body on the side closest to the door, they managed to each find enough space to settle comfortably, wrapped around each other.

  The bedding smelled of flowers, of woman, of paradise. This bed, and those who lay in it, were miracles that Euan had no intention of squandering or not appreciating.

  He listened to the slowing of first Nick’s then Kira’s warm breaths as they slipped into sleep. He was not ignorant of the enormous responsibility that had been placed on his shoulders. Nick had the trauma of the attack to overcome, and Kira had the effects of crippling solitude and loneliness to conquer.

  And he had the task of keeping them all safe.

  The three of them had to learn to live together in relative harmony. He also had to understand how the bunker worked and to comprehend its defense mechanisms. He had to see how the power supply worked, the water system, its escape hatches and find out how much fire power the place packed. All so he could protect what was his.

  Then there was Kira. After her breaths had evened, she had pulled her legs to her chest and curled herself up into a tight ball between their larger bodies, forcing Euan to twist around her. It gave him the impression that it was her usual sleeping position, and it broke his damn heart to think she’d had to cuddle herself to sleep for so long.

  Her ball took up a large amount of space, but he hardly minded. One arm was banded around her knees, but the other lay a hair’s breadth from his chest. Without his shirt, her fingers could easily brush against his skin, his dark chest hair. He breathed in deeply, tempting fate, but still came up short.

  Her bare shoulder was visible above the comforter, pulled taut between Euan and Nick. Her skin was a beautiful, soft amber in the limited light provided by a small night lamp, which Kira had insisted they leave on. He wanted to reach out and touch her skin, run his fingertips lightly over her protruding shoulder blade, her collarbone, down over the pulse at her throat. But he refrained. It was not the night to indulge.

  He propped his head up on his hand, so it was easier to let his eyes wander leisurely over the woman before landing on Nick. The man slept like he used to—one arm up over his head, facing the roof, his mouth open to the air. He snored lightly, making Euan smile softly.

  Euan stretched the arm that was underneath his head out along the pillows around Kira, reaching towards Nick to carefully tunnel his fingers through his tangled honey-gold hair. A feeling of relief settled inside his heart as he played with the soft strands, letting the waves slip through his fingers. Nick’s snore deepened, and Euan didn’t hold back the slight tip of his lips at the comforting sound. His Nicky, so brave, so strong—and such a typical man.

  The rest he’d worry about with the dawn. There were more answers he needed, but they could wait.

  Chapter 15

  A masculine voice pulled Euan from his slumber. A rumble, rough with sleep, speaking quietly into the semi darkness. ‘Morning beautiful. How’d you sleep?’

  A rustle of bedclothes, followed by a gentle feminine whisper. ‘I slept well, thank you. You?’

  The was an achingly acute pause. ‘Good, real good.’

  Nick’s warm tones drew Euan further from his unremarkable dreams into the present.

  The astounding, unbelievable present.

  He slowly cracked his eyes open to be willingly accosted by a mass of white-blonde wayward curls and a scent so intoxicating he was unable to deny the urge to inhale deeply, slowly. The sweetness of heaven, the purity of divinity. Christ, the unadulterated beauty of the human female.

  ‘We weren’t too big? Not taking up too much room?’ Nick’s questioning whisper was sincere.

  A soft, quiet girlish laugh. ‘No, you’re not too big. You did snore though.’

  There was the sound of flexing muscles and the cracking of joints. Euan watched with sleepy eyes as Nick’s arms reached up towards the ceiling in an unreserved stretch. ‘Euan has mentioned that once or twice.’

  ‘Really?’ Unfettered womanly curiosity laced Kira’s voice.

  A low chuckle. ‘Yeah.’

  The mattress shifted as Nick found a comfortable position. His movements had Kira shuffling to accommodate him. Before he could prepare, Euan found an incredibly soft, female ass press up against his crotch.

  Christ.

  Euan held his breath. The bite at where their bodies connected was debilitating. It seized his muscles as though he’d been bewitched by a spell so deliberate and overwhelming that the world ceased revolving. Magnificent wonder. Glorious splendour. His life with Nick sharpened and refined. He loved Nick, adored him. The young man nourished his soul. But the woman with her body pressed to him, her hair in his eyes, her intoxicating scent in his nose; he realised with astounding clarity that she was going to devour his heart.

  And he was suddenly overwhelmed with the possibility of feeding her.

  Kira’s soft whispers brought Euan back to the present. ‘Thank you for staying,’ she murmured. ‘And thank you for not being psychotic murderers.’

  When Nick chuckled again, it vibrated through the mattress. ‘You promised coffee, we still haven’t had any yet. Anything could happen.’

  Her voice was hesitant. ‘I could make you some?’

  ‘That sounds nice Kira, yeah.’ Nick’s voice was thick with emotion when he finally answered. Euan empathised with the audible ache.

  Silence lingered between them. It was comfortable, a d
eliberate quiet that had Euan fighting the urge to make his awake state known. He wanted to turn Kira and pull her into his arms, have his body absorb her, consume her into him where he could keep the delicate woman safe from the world that surrounded them. He wanted to kiss her temple, feather his lips over those wayward hairs, have them catch in his beard. His palms itched to hold the incredible flesh of something so infinitely precious to him, something that couldn’t exist in anything other than an impossible dream.

  ‘Have you been on the road long?’ Kira finally whispered into the respectful quiet.

  ‘Long enough,’ Nick replied, being deliberately reserved.

  Kira’s curiosity was undeterred. ‘Where were you headed?’

  Nick cleared his throat. ‘West.’

  ‘West?’ Kira continued to probe.

  Nick sighed, but Euan could hear the smile in his voice when he finally spoke, despite the intrusive weight of reality that came with question. ‘We came from the north. There is not much east. South’s too cold. So yeah, west.’

  Kira shuffled and Euan bit back a curse. He tasted blood. He was a simple man, he had never pretended otherwise, but there was no denying that the provocative press of her firm round cheeks, the seductive curve of her spine, the tempting weight of her against him was anything but deliberate.

  ‘What’s it like out there?’ she asked. Euan could almost sense the curve of her mischievous smile as she twisted further into the cradle of his hips, a sultry dance that had Euan’s hands forming fists under the covers.

  Nick was ignorant of the shift. ‘Bad baby, real bad,’ he whispered.

  Another fucking wriggle. ‘Like the movies?’

  Nick’s tone was reverent. It was in stark contrast to the wave of unprecedented emotions that were bombarding Euan’s senses. It had been a long time since his erection had cause to draw his attention. Before Nick’s attack, he had often enjoyed sharing their similar daybreak state with a quick, usually aggressive shared climax before they started their day. Over the last few weeks, Euan had been either too damn exhausted from a night of holding Nick through his night terrors or acutely aware of his unreciprocated intentions as Nick would pull away both physically and emotionally as soon as he woke.

  But with the lush, feminine behind pressed against him, purposefully writhing to inflict a response, it was impossible not to relish the rush of blood that engorged the organ in his pants. The heat, the delicious longing. The anticipation. Christ, the thought of sweet, warm, wet pussy …

  He almost jerked at Nick’s words. ‘Worse than the movies. Worse than your nightmares.’

  A cold bucket of reality washed over him. Images of the depravity, of all they had witnessed, bombarded him and eviscerated any further sense of lust. The associated throb in his chest was painful.

  Kira’s voice was respectful, the mood in the room shifting to embrace the sinister truth that surrounded them. ‘My brother mentioned it was very dangerous. That humanity had gone back about a thousand years. Is that right?’

  ‘Sounds about right,’ Nick confirmed gravely.

  ‘Do you have any family left?’ Kira questioned on a whisper.

  Euan heard the bedding stir and, over the edge of Kira’s face, he saw Nick’s deft fingers stroke a few wispy strands of her gossamer hair from her eyes. When Nick spoke again, his voice was low, serious, grave. ‘You got a lot of questions, Pixie.’

  ‘Pixie?’

  ‘You look like a pixie, a little living fairy. Your eyes are … beautiful.’

  Kira squirmed, but this time it wasn’t to entice Euan’s masculine response.

  ‘You’re very kind,’ she mumbled.

  ‘Just telling the truth,’ Nick affirmed.

  Kira cleared her throat. ‘You don’t look too bad yourself.’

  A deep masculine chuckle. ‘Yeah?’

  Christ. Such exquisite perfection. The delicate skin at her nape turned a becoming shade of pink. Euan wanted to press his lips to the warming heat. Let his tongue taste her. What noises would she make? Would she taste salty, of lingering sweat from her exertions the day before? Euan pictured her cheeks painted red with unrestrained longing. The flush that would colour her neck, her chest, not from embarrassment but from the tender invasion of her senses, the teasing whisper of his lips at her nape, the soft brush of his fingertips as he feathered them down her skin.

  Nick obviously saw her flush differently. ‘Shit baby, didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable.’

  Kira shook her head. ‘I’m not. I’m just unused to … this.’

  Nick laughed outright. It reverberated through the room like a ricocheting bullet to lodge directly into Euan’s sternum. It was the first time he had heard the unforced sound, which used to be so prominent in their lives, since the attack. The surprising eruption was overwhelmingly glorious. That small spark of hope that Kira might be able to heal Nick’s internal wounds started to grow, glowing on a dark horizon and heralding a potential dawn. He fought to keep his breath unaltered, but the flame that ignited inside his body from his utter and profound relief worked hard to steal the oxygen from his lungs.

  ‘Can’t say I’ve woken up in a bed that smelled of flowers with a beautiful woman beside me in a long time,’ Nick chuckled as his laughter eased.

  ‘So, it has just been you and Euan?’ Kira asked curiously.

  ‘For the most part, yeah,’ Nick answered.

  ‘For the most part?’ Kira returned.

  Nick shifted under the covers and deliberately avoided her question. ‘What happened to your brother?’

  ‘How did you two meet?’ Kira countered.

  That laugh again. ‘Well, well, well. A little curious cat.’

  Kira’s answering giggle had Euan almost groaning out loud. He felt her petite body quiver from pure merriment, stripping away his shields to leave him naked, humble and vulnerable in the face of the untainted perfection of Kira and Nick.

  ‘I’ll answer yours if you answer mine?’ she crooned, surprising seductively. He thought he heard Nick utter a curse.

  ‘Okay. But only ’cause I’m beginning to like you. Euan and I met at a refugee camp,’ he told her, his voice turning grave. ‘It was not a nice place. Not nice at all.’

  The sharp sting of their experiences once again burst Euan’s euphoric bubble. It was a deliberate understatement. Panic, fear and anger had been an explosive mixture, and Euan still suffered from traumatic memories of the time. Destitution and scarcity of necessities added gasoline to volatile flames. Humanity had been at its cruellest, its most depraved, its most selfish in that place.

  ‘How so?’ Kira asked innocently, and Euan was eternally grateful that she hadn’t witnessed such atrocities.

  Nick’s response was an attempt to be humorous, but Euan knew him well enough to hear the edge. ‘You only get one question, Pixie.’

  Kira continued to prod. ‘Could it just be an extension of the first one? Please?’

  ‘One push, that’s all I’m giving you,’ Nick sighed, resigned. ‘There was nowhere to go, no one to save us. Originally there were people in charge, and then there weren’t. There were supplies, and then there weren’t. There was order, integrity, compassion for those weaker, more vulnerable. And then there wasn’t.’

  ‘That sounds bad,’ Kira mumbled. She was not naive. There was no misunderstanding what Nick’s deliberate omissions meant.

  ‘It was,’ Nick confirmed.

  ‘And then you met Euan?’ she probed.

  Another low chuckle. ‘And then Euan met me.’

  There was pause, as though Kira was using her expression to pull further explanation from her confessor. Nick push out another sigh. ‘If you can believe it, Euan was bigger back then. More muscles on his bones. He used to be a boxer, heavyweight. And you could tell.’

  ‘Did he get into fights?’ Kira asked.

  Nick’s tone was wry.

  ‘Didn’t need to, most people just avoided him.’

  ‘Did you?’ she grilled
.

  ‘I wanted to.’ Another low reverberation of laughter. ‘Damn, did I want to. I got into a scrap of trouble. Someone took my watch. It was my dad’s …’

  Euan’s breath did hitch then, though Kira was too engrossed in Nick’s explanation to notice. They’d lost the watch when Euan fought in the pit at Nirvana. It had been a brutal blow, in some ways more brutal than the physical strikes that still left reminders on Euan’s body.

  Nick continued, but the pain from the loss was audible. ‘At the time, I nearly died trying to keep it.’

  ‘Euan saved you?’ Kira asked considerately.

  ‘Yeah, he saved me,’ Nick murmured. ‘Been saving me ever since.’

  His beautiful, courageous man. Euan remembered Nick had been all lean muscle and threatening rage that morning. He had found out later that Nick had just watched the last of his three sisters die in his arms. She hadn’t perished from the plague, but from cholera, a debilitating shock that had Nick brimming with a thirst for vengeance against an establishment that he would never see again. His fury was so volatile that he was ready to kill himself in what he thought would be a valiant death. He had been striking, stunning. Beyond the sweat-soaked hair, flashing green eyes, tear-stained face and filth he was an exquisite example of male ferocity, one Euan wasn’t able to cease observing, despite his determination to not get involved in the mayhem that surrounded him.

  It had been effortless to scare off Nick’s attackers. And after, tending the young man’s minor cuts and abrasions made a convenient excuse to stay.

  When Kira moved again, it wasn’t to draw attention to the press of her body against his, it was to prepare herself for her confession to come.