Liquid Cool

by Austin Dragon

  “That class is torture. Everybody says that.”

  “Good, you’ll be able to experience it firsthand and not have to go by secondhand accounts.”

  I shook my head as the female officer handed me the citation with a smile.

  “Thanks a lot for nothing, detective.”

  “Think of me when you’re sitting in the class,” he said sarcastically.

  “Oh yeah, I’ll be thinking about you, all right,” I said.

  Detective Monitor blew a kiss at me.

  I needed to get to hospital. They didn’t need to tell me which one. I already knew.

  Chapter 42

  Box and Rexx

  I WAS ALWAYS OF TWO minds inside a hospital. On one hand, it was a shining example of society’s amazing technology, which was for nothing less than to make people whole and save lives. But on the other hand, since anyone off the street was sent here first, it was a breeding ground of nastiness: germs, bacteria, viruses, and disease—a place only slightly better than the meat morgue.

  I took out a bottle from my pocket and sprayed a shot up each nostril when no one was looking. The immune system booster product probably was a complete waste of my money, but it made me feel better, since I couldn’t put on a full biohazard suit.

  Metro General Hospital was where everyone was taken, unless you were wealthy or politically connected. I had some familiarity with the place from my hovercar racing days. More than a few drivers crashed into a communications or light pole, and this is where the ambulance took them.

  Always hectic, Metro General did not have the best specialists, but it was the largest and in the center of the city. I sat in the waiting area of Floor 76. Box was out of surgery and was taken here…and so was our active shooter friend, who, based on his last sentence to us, I figured out was the brother of one of the two murdered men I confronted Box about. Knowing that, I needed both men to stay alive. I knew most of the pieces to my little puzzle—otherwise known as the Easy Chair Charlie Case—but it was all speculation. I needed to fill in the blanks with facts, corroborate my good detective reasoning with facts.

  I had decided, as soon as the police told me that neither man was dead, that I would stay with these men like a parasite on a wet rat, until I had my chance to speak with them. I didn’t know why they even had doors to the recovery room, because hospital staff was running back and forth with patients on hovergurneys nonstop. There were only a few other average-looking people in the waiting room besides me, but I was the only one sitting in the last row with my back touching the wall. I wanted no one behind me, and I wanted to eye everyone in front of me.

  I was one person who could sit and wait forever, something the Guy Who Scratched My Vehicle and his lady found out the hard way. It was something I could do. I was a natural for stakeouts. That’s what I considered it, because I needed to talk to those two men, and I felt…nervous. Sometimes, you had a premonition that something bad could be coming. That’s what I was feeling, and I wasn’t having any of it.

  A head peeked out from the hallway into the waiting area, smiling at me. I gestured to the sidewalk johnny, and he came around with two of his friends.

  “Hey, Cruz,” the first one said. All of them in poncho-style slickers over their jeans and boots, and all looking like shaving was an off-and-on-again weekly routine.

  “Hey,” I answered.

  “Phishy said to thank you for asking for his help. And we thank you too for giving us a gig.”

  “Yeah. Well, here’s the job.”

  “Is it dangerous?” asked the other johnny. “I mean, you’re a legit detective now.”

  “It’s not dangerous at all.”

  “But…we’re in a hospital.”

  “You watch too many movies. The job is simple. One of you will sit in the waiting room at the other end of the hall and watch the elevators for anyone suspicious coming my way, and the other will do the same at the other end of the hallway. The third man…”

  “Will hang here with you,” one of them interrupted.

  “Will hang in the waiting area right next to the main elevators. Anyone suspicious coming my way, I want to know.”

  “You expecting suspicious people, Mr. Cruz?”

  “Dangerous people, Mr. Cruz?”

  “I have no idea what to expect. That’s why I need you. Okay, that’s the job. Go, get to your places.”

  “Yeah, that would be funny if a whole bunch of suspicious people came up here at the same time, while we’re standing here talking about suspicious people.”

  The three sidewalk johnnies laughed.

  “I can see why you’re Phishy’s friends. Okay, get to your places.” I shooed them away, and two went one way and the third went the other way down the hallway.

  They were gone, and I could see the three other people in the waiting area looking at me.

  “You a detective?” a man asked.

  “Yeah,” I answered.

  “You got a card.”

  “Yeah.”

  I had to remember that I was a businessman now, and that meant “good customer service.” I got up, whipped a card from my jacket, and handed it to him.

  The woman sitting next to him leaned to look at it, too.

  “That’s a cool name,” she said. “Liquid Cool. You must have paid a whole bunch of money to get that name.”

  “I came up with it on my own, sitting in my office with several empty pads, a pen, and a few hours.”

  I was about to return to my seat when the other man in the waiting area reached out his hand for a card. I gave him one and returned to my spot.

  With all my sitting and watching, I pieced together who among the hospital staff were in charge. The head nurse came out from the doors, and it was the one time she wasn’t surrounded by other staff. I jumped up from my chair and ran after her.

  “Excuse me,” I said.

  She stopped and turned.

  “Is a Mr. Jim Box or Mr. Petrov Rexx able to see visitors?”

  “Who are you?”

  “Family.”

  “Of?”

  “Mr. Box.”

  “Why are you asking about Petrov Rexx, then?”

  “They were…shot at the same incident. I understand though. I’m sure they have an officer posted, which is why you’re asking me the additional questions.”

  “Go to the nurses’ station, and you can see Mr. Box, but as for Mr. Rexx, you need to take that up with the policeman.”

  “Thank you. Nurses’ station?”

  She pointed the way.

  BOX LOOKED LIKE HELL. Laid up in the hospital bed with wires and electrodes attached to his head and chest, and an IV from his right arm. His eyes were half-closed, when I entered his room, and opened slightly more with a groggy expression.

  “You told them you were family?” he asked.

  “Of course,” I said and sat down. “Here’s your chance to return the favor by answering all my questions.”

  “You didn’t take any bullets for me. What favor am I returning?”

  “For calling the police and not leaving you to bleed out in your dark, dank, dungeon office.”

  “I bet someone else did that, and you’re trying to take credit for it. You’re a detective. Detectives lie.”

  “I got the guy who shot you,” I said emphatically.

  “I don’t believe you.”

  “Chased him, shot him down, and he’s lying one door down from you. So will you return that favor?”

  “What’s his name?”

  “Petrov Rexx. Mr. Peri’s brother.”

  “Christ, it was him?”

  “You know him, then.”

  “He called me on the phone last week to tell me he was coming to kill me for getting his brother killed.”

  “Well, he almost did just that. So does that earn me a favor?”

  “You have all the makings of a real low-life detective.”

  “Coming from the likes of you, I’m not sure how to take th
at. Peri worked for Ergot, and Mr. Ergot hired you to do what?”

  “Why do you want to know? Why are you even involved in this? You’re just a car guy.”

  “I was never a car guy. I was…I am a classic hovercar restorer.”

  “If you say so. Why are you involved in this? I don’t understand you. Were you bored with life? You won’t be bored anymore. And you probably won’t be alive too much longer either, if you keep involved in all this.”

  “Involved in all what? What am I involved in?”

  “Leave me alone. I’m not telling you nothing.”

  He turned his head away from me, lying on the bed, and closed his eyes. I knew he was done with me…unless I reset the situation.

  “Well, if that’s how you want it,” I said.

  “That’s how I want it.”

  “Okay.”

  I watched him, then slowly walked out the room.

  Box was wide-eyed when I appeared again, pushing in the hoverbed of Mr. Rexx. He glared at Box with such an intensity; if eyes were lasers, Box would have been vaporized.

  “What the hell are you doing?” Box yelled at me.

  When I had Rexx situated, I closed the double doors. “I thought it would be nice if the three of us could sit and chat awhile. Three detectives shooting the breeze, together.”

  “He’s a detective?” Box said.

  Rexx glared at Box with the look of murder.

  “This is the guy who shot you, and I shot him. As I said before, that earns me a favor from you.”

  “And you roll him into my room?” Box yelled.

  “You killed my brother!” Rexx yelled out.

  “I told you on the phone. I did no such thing. That crazy rabbit did.”

  “I don’t even know what that means. You did it!”

  Rexx was about to throw his urine bag at him when I intervened. “Okay, we won’t be flinging bags of urine at people we tried to murder, today. Gentlemen, if we can talk calmly and clearly, we can figure this all out.”

  “I’ve figured it out, and you’re dead!” Rexx pointed at Box with the arm hooked up to the IV.

  “Based on the fact that everyone you shot is still alive, your threats don’t worry me none.”

  I walked closer to Box. “Will you answer my questions?”

  “Why? Why are you involved in this, car guy? Who’s your client?”

  “I am the client! It might be hard for you to understand, but I liked Easy Chair Charlie. I can’t say he was a friend, any more than you can say the guy at the food market or the mail delivery guy is a friend, but I’d be pissed if I found out someone gunned them down in the street.”

  “He wasn’t gunned down in the street. Easy shot it out with the cops. Everyone knows that, detective. People go gun-crazy all the time.”

  I leaned forward to him. “Stop treating me like I’m stupid. People who go gun-crazy bring their own guns to the mayhem. The only thing Easy had with him was two boxes of fine cigars.”

  “He must have stashed the weapons in his hovercar outside.”

  “He didn’t have a car,” I said, “He walked or took public transportation wherever he went. But you know that, Box. Are you going to answer my questions? Mr. Rexx may be busy with the courts and jail for a while, but you and I both know that when he’s done, he’ll be back at you. So answer the question and clear yourself. What’s the harm in that? Your clients are dead.” I turned to Rexx and said, “No offense.”

  “No offense taken. You didn’t kill them.”

  “So?”

  I stared at Box. Rexx stared at him. He tried to resist, but he wavered. “You two should be cops. All I’m missing is the beat down.”

  “Police don’t beat down people, anymore.”

  “Yeah, yeah, yeah. They’re body-cammed up every which way, with the friendly Police Watch Commission watching on the other end for the good of people. You believe that, and you are nothing but a doofus.”

  “Mr. Ergot, Box!” I yelled.

  He gave in. “Ergot hired me to find out all about this guy, known on the street, as Red Rabbit.”

  “What the hell is a Red Rabbit?” Rexx blurted out.

  “A member of one of those animal gangs, or I should say, in this case, one of the made men in the Animal Farm Crime Syndicate.”

  “Animal gangs?” Rexx asked and chuckled.

  It was my turn to jump in. “There are all kinds of criminal gangs. Think of dogs. There are a 1001 different dogs from a Chihuahua to a Great Dane. There are 1001 different kinds of gangs. Go on, Box. It’s your story.”

  “These animal gangs wear these stupid animal masks—cats, dogs, pigs, monkeys. Rabbits. All kinds of animals. If they weren’t so dangerous, it would be funny. Red is obviously with the rabbit gangs. He runs their crew. He got to run their crew by killing their leader, Follow the White Rabbit, and putting Blue Pill Rabbit in a coma.”

  Rexx chuckled again. “You’re not serious. This sounds like a bunch of nonsense. Rabbit gangs. Animal gangs. White Rabbit. Blue Rabbit. Red Rabbit. Are we little kiddies?” Rexx shook his head, incredulously. “Is this how things go, in your low-class city?”

  “There’s nothing kiddie about these animal gangs. And this Red Rabbit is a real psycho. He likes to kill people, even his own people. He’s nothing but violence.”

  “Why is he called Red Rabbit?” I asked.

  “His favorite weapon is some kind of laser lightning rifle. Supposedly, before it discharges, his rabbit mask turns red. The saying is, ‘You see red, then you’re dead.’ I told Ergot and your brother Peri not to mess with this guy. Supposedly, his entire body is cyborg. You can shoot him ‘til hell freezes, and he’ll still keep ticking.”

  “Why did Ergot hire you to investigate a gang leader?” I asked.

  “I don’t know.”

  “Box, you’ve already told most of the story, why not finish it? Remember, I tracked you down.”

  “Yeah, how did you find me?”

  “Maybe, if you weren’t so busy trying to also find out why Ergot was interested in this gang leader, you wouldn’t have been seen. I know you know.”

  “He didn’t say, but I knew why. He was going to blackmail him.”

  “Blackmail?” Rexx asked. “What did he have on a gang criminal to blackmail him with?”

  “Exactly,” Box said. “That’s what I wanted to know, so I did some poking around.”

  “And?” I asked.

  “I didn’t find anything. All I knew was Ergot ended up stuffed into his own office piranha fish tank, half-eaten, with his eyeballs hanging out of his head and his main guy thrown out the window. Then, I heard that two sidewalk johnnies were nearly vaporized at the scene of some building lobby fire. I knew it was all Red’s work. Violence follows that guy wherever he hops.”

  “Lobby fire?” I asked. “Then I rephrase my question,” I said. “What do you think Ergot was trying to blackmail him over?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Yes, you do. It had something to do with the night Easy supposedly went gun-crazy.”

  “If you know, why ask me?”

  I ignored him. “Red was there that night?”

  “I believe so.”

  “Based on what?”

  “A guy wearing a rabbit mask with big pointy ears tends to get noticed, even in this city.”

  “How far away was he from the scene?” I asked.

  “A hop and a skip away.”

  “He was there,” I said.

  “He was,” Box said. “But he wasn’t seen with Easy, so I don’t know what the blackmail could have been about.”

  “Someone did see him with Easy,” I said.

  “Who?”

  “Never mind. That person has been made to disappear. Where’s Red now?”

  “Why?” Box asked. “Are you going to trade carrots with him? Cruz, I’ll tell you the same thing I told Ergot and Peri; stay far away from this psycho. No good will come from any encounter with him. He shoots you, and you’
re dead. You won’t get the luxury of being able to lie in a bed like me and him.”

  I looked at Peri’s brother, who was listening intently.

  “I’d listen to him if I were you,” he said.

  “So you and Box are friends, now?” I asked.

  “My brother was no slouch, so if someone offed him, then they had a decent amount of skills. And no offense pal, but you look like you’d be more concerned about getting a speck of mud on your nancy-boy tan coat and hat.”

  “My hat and coat are cool,” I said to him, “like my classic Ford Pony. But…” I turned back to Box. “I have no intention of getting killed anytime this century, especially by a gang member in a rabbit mask.”

  “Don’t laugh. These animal gangs are animals.”

  “I know,” I said. “I need to know where this Red is hanging out, now.”

  “You’re not going to listen, are you?” Box said.

  “I may not have pointy rabbit ears, but I’m listening. I really don’t want to know where he hangs out, but I have to. Did you track him to his…?”

  “Lair,” Box answered. “I’ll tell you, but before I do, I’ll tell you why I’m going to tell you. You may be a car-guy detective, but you seem to have decent skills, and I want no more competition out there than necessary. I’ll tell you, and you’ll go there, and you’ll find Red, and he’ll bunny-stop you or blast you to death and then no more competition.”

  “Box, did anyone ever tell you that you’re a scumbag detective?”

  “All the time, but I can pay my bills every month.”

  “Where is he?”

  “Where most of the Animal Farm Crime Syndicate is. You can find him in Mad Heights.”

  Chapter 43

  Run-Time

  THIS WAS MY THIRD PASS around the streets surrounding Alien Alley. But I had walked it only once. Back in the day, when I was a new hovercar racer, I had gotten into the junk I was driving, and I felt something was off. It kept bothering me, and eventually, I pulled myself out of the race and gave the hovercar a complete inspection. It had a major separation in one of the feeder junctions to the engine. It could have shorted and crashed to the ground from twenty stories up, and there would be no Cruz or Liquid Cool Detective Agency. I listened to my instincts, even if they were wrong. This Alien Alley was off, but I didn’t know why. It was in Woodstock Falls, so it wasn’t a bad part of the city. However, I did one walk through, and I was done. I would only survey it from the safety of my Pony.