Brooks (Dirty Misfits MC #1)

by Rylan, Savannah

  I watched helplessly as he closed the door, locking me into a room by myself. And slowly, I turned back to the picture of Gage and him on the wall. My heart was torn in two different directions and I felt sick to my stomach with guilt. My trembling fingertips raised up to the glass encasement, fingering Gage’s face softly as tears slid down my cheeks and found their death against my bosom.

  “I’m so sorry,” I whispered.

  Feeling Brooks’ body so tightly close to mine on that bike had given way to thoughts I hadn’t entertained in years. Being in his room like I had been all those years ago, just hanging out and shooting the shit, brought back so many memories that kicked up so many emotions that had never died out. But the second Brooks pulled away from me the way he had, Gage popped up into my mind.

  And the guilt I felt almost made me sick.

  My hand fell away from the picture and I covered my mouth. My lower lip quivered as sadness and frustration draped over me, weighing me down until I was laying on the bed. I soaked the pillow with silent tears as my heart tore itself into two.

  One part of me, dedicated to my late husband.

  And the other part of me, dedicated to a man I never stopped loving.

  “I’m such a shitty human being,” I said breathlessly.

  I squeezed my eyes shut and blocked out the distressed hardwood floors. Gone were the tan-colored walls and blasé decorations, and instead found myself on a private Caribbean island. With the sun hanging high in the sky and the crystal-clear water lapping at my feet, I forced myself to be somewhere better than this.

  Somewhere more relaxing than this.

  Somewhere more amazing than this.

  I wonder if he ever felt the same way.

  My eyes flew open the second my mind turned on me. I rolled over onto my stomach, burying my face into the musty pillow. I sighed heavily and let the cotton pillowcase soak up the rest of my tears, then I turned over onto my back.

  Planting myself in the middle of the bed as I stared up at the popcorn ceiling.

  “So outdated,” I murmured.

  My mind didn’t stop, though. Even though I wanted it to forget everything, it kept coming back around. I found myself wondering if that was the reason Brooks suddenly stepped away from me. Did he have feelings for me, too? Was he experiencing the same guilt I felt every time I thought about him?

  Was I reading too much into all this shit?

  Probably the last one.

  I groaned and reached for a pillow before pressing it against my face. I shrieked, letting out all of my emotions in one big, bombastic war cry that made my throat hoarse. I screamed until I had no more voice to scream with. I screamed until I started coughing, and I didn’t stop screaming until the coughing gave way to gagging.

  How the hell had I gotten dragged back into this life so quickly?

  Maybe you should go get him if you don’t want to be alone.

  The thought gave me pause. I let the pillow slip away from my face as I turned the idea over in my mind. If I went to get Brooks, would he come back? Would he keep me company? Would he wrap me up in his arms and hug me until I stopped crying like Gage always did?

  Gage.

  The guilt returned in a never-ending waterfall that threatened to take me to my knees. I turned over onto my side and curled up into a ball, trying my best not to look as weak as I felt. While I wasn't sure I wanted to be alone right now, I also wasn’t sure that Brooks was the best candidate for keeping me company. And I wasn’t anywhere near as close to the other guys to ask any one of them to come keep me company. The closest was probably Porter, but even then I only ever saw him during club activities I tagged along to.

  Brooks was the only other person of this club—other than Gage—that I saw recreationally, club or no club.

  No, I need to be alone right now.

  With that deciding voice in my head, I kicked my flats off. I slid beneath the quilted blanket and settled in for an early night, even though my stomach growled for food. I couldn't stomach the idea of eating. I knew it’d make me sick anyway, with all of these emotions and ideas and thoughts rushing about. So, I let my eyes fall closed so sleep could quickly take me under.

  And I found a familiar scene as the darkness swallowed me whole.

  “Mind if I take a seat?”

  I looked up at the person who owned the suave tenor voice that just hit my ears and found the most amazing pair of hazel eyes staring back at me. They were attached to a clean-shaven face and a jawline that could cut glass. But it was the broad shoulders and big arms that did it for me. The muscles on the man staring down at me made me lick my lips. I almost didn’t see the brown-eyed, bearded man standing just behind him.

  But I saw him as well.

  And damn it, the two of them were hot as hell.

  “Sure, you both can for all I care,” I said.

  Hazel Eyes grinned. “The name’s Gage. And you are?”

  I held out my hand to usher them to sit. “Raven. It’s nice to meet you.”

  Gage sat down and Brown Eyes made him scoot over. “I’m Brooks.”

  I shook both of their hands. “Gage and Brooks. Got it.”

  Gage laid on a suave smile. “So, what brings a beautiful woman like you into a dive bar like this in the middle of the day?”

  I blinked. “The wings?”

  Brooks narrowed his eyes. “You in some sort of trouble?”

  My eyes turned to the brown-eyed man who just read me like a book. “Actually, a bit. My car broke down on the road and I had just enough velocity to get myself into the parking lot. Figured I’d come in and sit down while my tow truck arrived.”

  Brooks grinned. “Well, lucky for you we work on cars.”

  Gage piped up. “And bikes, if you’re into that sort of thing.”

  I snickered. “Really? You two are mechanics?”

  Gage raised his hands. “See these calluses? Wouldn’t have it any other way.”

  Brooks kept his serious eyes on me. “What was your car doing before it broke down?”

  My eyes fell open and the light was still on. It hurt my eyes and I groaned as I rolled toward the lamp, pulling the plug from the wall. The darkness laid against my body so thickly that I couldn't even see my own hand in front of my damn face. But the digital clock on the bedside table boasted of the time in thick, red numbers.

  Yep. I still needed to be asleep at one in the morning.

  So, I closed my eyes and found myself in the midst of yet another dream that felt all-too-familiar.

  “Hey there, gorgeous!” Gage exclaimed.

  I whipped my head up from my magazine as Gage walked toward me. “Hey there, yourself.”

  He sat down beside me. “Thought I recognized your car when it pulled in. Having issues with it still?”

  I put my magazine down. “Well, you and Brooks did a great job on it a few weeks back. But that noise came back again.”

  “The squeaking one?”

  I nodded. “Yeah. Only, it’s at the back of the car now, not the front.”

  He chuckled. “Carrying lots of stuff around in that trunk of yours?”

  I gasped playfully. “Are you telling me I have a big ass, Mr. Gage?”

  He winked. “Only if you’re into that sort of thing.”

  I peeked around him. “Is Brooks here, too? I figured maybe you guys could take a look at it together? I’d be more than willing to pay you both for your time.”

  He stood to his feet. “Nah, Brooks is off today. But don’t worry; your car’s in good hands.”

  I smiled up at him. “I really appreciate it.”

  He winked at me. “Anytime. And if I can’t fix your issue today, I’ll work on it tonight after hours so you can get it back ASAP.”

  “Really? You’d do that for me?”

  He smiled wickedly. “If you let me take you out to dinner one night, yes.”

  My eyes eased themselves open again and I looked over at the clock. The memory of Gage asking me out on the date
that would change both of our lives haunted me as I saw the clock blinking with a time of midnight at me. I groaned as I eased myself up. We must’ve had another summer storm pass through the area. But even though there were no windows in Brooks’ room, I heard birds chirping outside.

  Which meant it was time to get up.

  “I promise I will always love you, Gage,” I whispered to myself.

  Because despite what I wanted back then, Gage had been a fantastic husband. Despite the fact that I had a much bigger crush on Brooks back then, Gage had been a wonderful confidante and partner to have at my side. I loved him with everything inside of me. Well, mostly everything.

  Even I had to admit that a small part of me would always be with that brown-eyed, stoic-faced man who cared more about me being safe than getting in my pants.

  Thirteen

  Brooks

  I tossed and turned all night on the fucking couch as I tried to get comfortable. But even I knew damn good and well that my comfort level wasn’t what kept me up. Every time I heard the clubhouse crack or pop, I wondered if Raven was venturing out of her room. Every time I heard someone lumbering around, I wondered if Raven was coming out to get herself something to eat. I hadn’t expected her to fall asleep without dinner, so I set aside a plate for her of Porter’s infamous chicken alfredo. I mean the man could fucking throw down in a kitchen.

  But she didn’t come out of the room all night.

  As I stared at the ceiling in the middle of the night, I had half a mind to go in there and curl up with Raven. Maybe if I made the first move, she’d melt into me like I knew she wanted to do all those years ago. Why I was stupid enough to let Gage slip in there before I did was beyond me. I honestly didn’t think she was the kind of girl to go for the overt flirtatious advances and the wild smiles of my best friend.

  Then again, people always did surprise me.

  This is your late best friend’s wife, dude. Chill the fuck out.

  I swallowed back the guilt wafting up the back of my throat and turned onto my side. I stared at the couch cushions, wondering if Raven hated me for dragging her back into a world she left of her own accord. She made it plain and clear to all of us that she wanted nothing to do with this lifestyle any longer. And yet, here she was, being dragged back here by me and those asshat Black Dildos.

  Why would they come after me, though?

  It wasn’t as if I’d struck down one of their members. And I wasn’t spreading any sort of shit about them on the streets. Hell, I’d been locked up for just shy of five years until yesterday, so why the hell were they so concerned about the fact that I was back on the streets?

  They know something about that night.

  My conversation with Raven came rushing back and I pushed myself upright. Someone in that bullshit club knew about that night. I always knew there were way too many unanswered questions, especially with Hyde’s death hanging over all of us. There were too many coincidences and too many slip-ups for this to have been a naturally occurring event.

  “And those dickheads know something,” I growled.

  I stood to my feet and made my way into the kitchen. If I couldn't sleep, then I’d eat. I ripped open the fridge and pulled out the leftovers from dinner before tossing them into the microwave. And as I heated them up, I grabbed a couple of beers. I toasted some toast before slapping some butter on it and pouring garlic powder on top. Then, with the last of the salad drenched in Italian dressing, I sat down to have myself another miniature feast.

  While I turned over everything I knew about that night in my head.

  I knew that Hyde called me to help him on a job I knew nothing about that night. I knew it had something to do with a car Gage had been modifying for a client, but I didn’t even know Gage was involved with the trade-off until Hyde said something to me in the car. That went against every single solitary protocol we had when it came to our chop-shop jobs. We had an explicit rule that stated that the people who worked on the car were not the people who showed up on the job to then exchange the car. It was our little way of ducking police, should one of us start getting tracked. That way, while the police were occupied with some chop-shop employee sleeping in the middle of the night, other guys in the club were making the sale and putting money in all of our pockets.

  “Why the fuck did he go against all of our rules?” I whispered to myself.

  “Ah, don’t mind if I join you,” Porter said.

  He ripped open the fridge and I had to brace myself so I didn’t jump. I didn’t want him to know that he had caught me off-guard. I didn’t want him to know that I’d been so lost in my own thoughts that I hadn’t heard him come in.

  Because the last thing I needed was someone criticizing my mental capacity to come back.

  “Oh, hell yeah. It’s a damn party out here,” Archer said.

  Porter fell into a seat in front of me and chugged back a beer before Archer placed an entire twelve-pack on the table. I looked up at them both as I slurped a sauced noodle through my lips before reaching for my beer.

  “Not gonna eat?” I asked.

  Porter patted his gut. “I ate enough. It’s time to drown my heartburn out, though.”

  Archer kicked his bare feet up onto the table. “You and me both. I love your cooking, but damn it, it’s terrible for me.”

  Porter chuckled. “Butter is my main ingredient.”

  “Obviously,” I said flatly.

  Porter leaned forward. “So, uh, you gonna talk about that girl currently sleeping in your room?”

  Archer snickered. “Or do we need to drag it out of you?”

  My eyes slowly panned over to him. “I’d love to see you try.”

  Porter polished off his first beer and reached for another. “You have to admit, it’s weird.”

  Archer nodded. “Very weird, since none of us have seen her in years now.”

  Porter cracked open his second can. “Then, you show up with her unannounced, kick Finn out of his—”

  I pointed at him. “That’s my room, and you fucking know it. It’s always been my room. Just like that parking space out there has always been mine despite the fact that someone spray-painted over it. I don’t know whose idea it was to get rid of me here, but I’m back, so start acting like it.”

  The two guys looked at each other and I wanted to know what they were thinking. I felt like there were secrets being hid away from me and that only made me angrier.

  “If you’re gonna think together, then speak together,” I growled.

  Porter’s eyes came back to mine. “Then why don’t you start by telling us why Raven is here.”

  I polished off my food before I leaned back. I stretched my legs out and sipped my beer, putting them on edge the way this entire place had me on edge ever since I’d ridden away from that damn prison. I saw them getting anxious and pissed off, though, so I decided to put them out of their misery.

  After I cleaned up my place at the table.

  “Come on, spit it out,” Archer said.

  I flopped back down into my seat. “Remember that feeling the next time the two of you want to keep something from me. Got it?”

  Porter sighed. “We get it, damn. Now, come on. Spill.”

  I told them everything Raven told me. I told them about how I saw the Black Flags on the road heading for her place. I told them how I didn’t have my gun, but I had my throwing knives. I told them about how they busted into Raven’s place and how they mocked Gage’s death before asking for me.

  I even told them about the question Raven had for that man as well as his answer.

  And that stopped the two men in their tracks.

  “He said what?” Porter asked.

  I nodded. “Yep. He said, ‘Is that what you really believe?’”

  Archer furrowed his brow. “Well, that’s what she claims he said.”

  I gnashed my teeth together. “You callin’ her a liar? Because I’ve known her for years.”

  He held up his hands. “All I’m
saying is that it’s been years since you’ve seen anyone, and a lot changes in that kind of time.”

  I looked around the clubhouse. “Yeah, tell me about it.”

  Porter reached for a third beer. “Why do you think the Black Flags would be looking for you?”

  I shook my head slowly. “No fucking clue. I didn’t get into one ounce of trouble while I was in prison. I didn’t mess with any of their former members that I came into contact with and I sure as hell didn’t attempt to fuck with them while I was on the inside.”

  Archer narrowed his eyes. “Why go see her?”

  I paused. “What?”

  He reached for another beer, too. “After all these years, why go see her?”

  I shrugged. “I made a promise to Gage when they first got married that I’d look after her if anything happened to him. I was robbed of being able to fulfill that promise for almost five years. I won’t be robbed of it a second more.”

  Archer didn’t look as if he was satisfied, though.

  “What?” I asked curtly.

  Porter interjected hastily. “Do you think the Black Flags were involved in landing you in jail that night?”

  My eyes whipped back over to his face. “I think this proves they were involved somehow, and they’re wanting to shut up anyone from that night who witnessed anything.”

  Archer sighed. “That would give one explanation as to why Hyde is currently dead.”

  I pointed at him. “They’re the ones who deal in drugs constantly. Including the drugs that were supposedly found in Hyde’s place when he was gunned down, right?”

  They both nodded. “Right.”

  I chugged back my beer. “That at least gives us a possible motive. Right now? That entire fucking club is suspect number one right now.”

  Porter stretched his arms above his head. “You know, they’ve been a bit more active these last couple of years.”

  Archer clicked his tongue. “They’ve been expanding their territory at a blinding pace, too.”

  I held out my arms. “Only more proof and more evidence to the fact that they were involved somehow that night. We were set up by those assholes, and that’s why Gage is dead. That’s why Hyde is dead. And that’s why I ended up in prison. They wanted to disband the core group of this club so they could encroach upon our territory that they’ve been trying to take from us for damn near a decade now.”