Child Wanted

by Renee Andrews

  And she had to get him back.

  Jerry studied the bag from where he stood, but when an excited black goose with a bright red beak waddled toward it, he quickly put his small feet into action. When he reached the sack, Lindy leaned forward so that she was merely a few feet from the boy.

  “Hey there.” She studied those clear blue eyes, remembered the first time they’d looked at her, when the nurse had held him close to her face in the delivery room and she’d felt a love like she’d never known before. A connection. A bond that couldn’t be separated by space, or time...or prison walls. “What’s your name?” She knew this was her little man, but she wanted to hear him say it, needed to verify what her heart had already confirmed.

  He took the bag, held it for a moment as he looked at her, and then returned to the other side of the fountain to toss his bread.

  What had happened to him since she’d been away?

  Dear God, please. I need to know. Is he mine? Is that my Jerry?

  Her features tight with emotion, she turned toward the man—Ethan—sitting on the adjacent bench and for the first time noticed the woman at the other end. It was easy to understand why she hadn’t noticed her before, with the way he captured attention. But Lindy didn’t want to notice the dark, wavy hair, the warm brown eyes that looked so kind, so appealing. Or the smile that seemed so sincere. She’d fallen prey to that kind of deception in the past and she wasn’t about to make the same mistake again.

  So she focused on the woman. She looked to be mid-thirties, with pale blond hair, and was dressed in a crisp white blouse and navy slacks. She seemed intent on surveying the little boy now timidly tossing bread to the geese. She was, no doubt, the social worker assigned to the case.

  That explained why she was here, but how did Ethan fit into Jerry’s world? And what about the couple with the two girls? Were they the ones she’d heard about, the “good home” that her son would have when the adoption went through?

  Lindy could have asked several questions to try to put the pieces together, but instead she asked the one she most needed to know. “Is he okay?”

  Ethan released an audible breath, his full lower lip rolling in before he answered, “He will be.” His head moved slowly up and down, affirming his resolve. He sounded so certain, so determined, that Lindy wondered how he could be that sure. Because she didn’t see any way Jerry would be okay without his mother.

  And she would never be okay without her son.

  The social worker glanced at her bag, then added, “He’s recently been placed at Willow’s Haven, the children’s home nearby, and he’s still adjusting to the new environment. His name is Jerry.”

  Jerry. Adrenaline burned through her at the mere mention of his name. She’d found him. This was her little boy. Her son. Right here. Merely feet away after so many minutes, hours and days—three long years—staring at the walls of a four-by-eight cell and dreaming of seeing him again, longing to hold him again. But the odds were against her, and she had to maintain her composure to have any chance of spending time with him now.

  The attorney’s words from this morning’s conversation echoed through her thoughts.

  Your son’s adoption may have already been finalized, and if that’s the case, it’ll be even more difficult for you to obtain custody again through a reverse adoption, where the court basically reverses the decision and returns the child to his biological parent.

  Lindy swallowed thickly, looked toward her little boy and silently prayed. Please, God, You know how much I need him in my life. And You know how much he needs me. “So is he—Can he be adopted?”

  The woman placed a hand on her bulging red satchel. “That’s our goal. I’m Candace Yost, the social worker assigned to Jerry’s case. Yes, eventually he can be adopted. And I feel certain he’ll have his forever home this time.” She looked fondly toward Ethan.

  A shiver of fear inched down Lindy’s spine as the man between Lindy and the social worker—and between Lindy and her son—turned toward her and displayed a smile that typically melted a female’s heart, the kind that had once melted Lindy’s.

  Not anymore. The only male she cared about now was the four-year-old on the other side of the fountain.

  “I’m Ethan Green,” he said, “and I want to adopt Jerry.”

  She looked beyond this Ethan Green, who with a simple introduction had become her biggest adversary, and instead focused on Jerry, now feeding the geese. “I do, too.”

  * * *

  Lindy’s jolt at realizing her little boy was merely feet away had affected her ability to choose words wisely. She’d spoken the truth. She wanted to adopt Jerry. More precisely, she wanted to regain custody of her son. Thankfully, she hadn’t made that statement, or the looks of surprise on both their faces would more likely have been looks of horror.

  “You...want to adopt Jerry?” Ethan’s question smacked Lindy with the same rousing force as the water from the fountain hit those determined geese. It woke her up and made her realize her error—and also caused her to look at the man who reminded her of the husband who’d hurt her so badly. The man who intended to adopt her child.

  Her. Child.

  She needed to rectify her mistake, or she might not get a chance to spend more time with Jerry and find a way to have him in her life again.

  “I meant that I would also like to adopt a child.” She prayed they couldn’t hear the wobble in her voice brought on by this landslide of emotions. After quickly organizing her thoughts, she explained, “I—wouldn’t be able to adopt right now, though.”

  The truth of that statement slammed her with the same intensity as Nika’s fists in the prison yard, when Lindy had mistakenly crossed paths with the inmate known as the Agitator. Or Gil’s fists on practically every night of their marriage.

  Lindy pushed the horrid memories away and watched her son, so quiet and withdrawn, the way he’d always been when Gil was at home and he was afraid of his daddy’s temper. Even at just fourteen months, he’d known to be fearful of his father. But when it’d just been the two of them in the house, when he’d been alone with Lindy, he’d laughed, smiled, played.

  Would he now be consumed by sadness forever?

  She wanted to hold him, hug him. But he hadn’t recognized her, hadn’t known his mother at all.

  And why should he? Not only did she look different now, but he’d been a baby when she left. Now he was a little boy. The three years apart might as well have been ten.

  He didn’t know her.

  The social worker cleared her throat. “Why wouldn’t you be able to adopt, Lindy?” Her tone was gentle, as though she knew the agony tormenting Lindy’s soul.

  Lindy wanted to sprint the few feet to Jerry, pick him up and run. She wanted to go somewhere where she could take the time to show him that she loved him, and that she’d never, ever stopped loving him. But that would only make things worse. She needed to find a better way. A right way. A legal way.

  Swallowing, she explained, “I couldn’t adopt a child now because I’ve...had a tough time over the past few years. I don’t have a family, or a job, or even a place to live.” Her stomach pitched at the truth. “I don’t have anything to offer a child.”

  The couple on the other side of the fountain had started walking toward them and must have overheard her statement, because the woman moved toward Lindy’s bench and sat down. “That can’t be true,” she said softly. “Because the main thing kids need in their lives is love.”

  Throughout her years at the prison, Lindy had taught herself not to cry. Crying was a weakness, and she couldn’t let the other inmates see her as the weakest. Consequently, she’d believed she no longer possessed the ability to release her tears. But they slipped free now, thick, wet drops edging down her cheeks.

  Lindy wiped them away. “I don’t know what has me so upset.” The li
e stung. She knew exactly what had her upset. Her son was here, right in front of her, and she had no idea what to do to get him back.

  Forgive me, Lord. And help me now. Show me how to have Jerry in my life again. She was still trying to work her way back toward trusting God. Though she’d learned in the prison ministry that He’d never leave her, she still wondered where He had been the night the police had torn Jerry from her arms and charged her with her husband’s murder.

  “Here.” Ethan moved toward her, a white handkerchief extended from his hand.

  To ignore the offering might make the others wonder what she had against the man, so she took the soft white fabric and swiped at her cheeks. A crisp scent, earthy and masculine, filled her senses. She fought against inhaling deeper. She didn’t want to like this man, or the way he smelled, or the fact that, unlike any man she’d ever known, he still carried a handkerchief. “Thank you.”

  The woman next to her, who now had an arm draped around Lindy’s shoulders, echoed her thoughts. “You carry a handkerchief?”

  Ethan smiled. “I teach eighth graders. You know, the age when every girl gets her feelings hurt by another girl at some point in the school year. It never hurts to have a handkerchief handy.”

  He taught school. And seemed nice. How would Lindy ever convince a court that she should have Jerry instead of this man?

  Because she knew from past experience how a man could sway her opinion with his gorgeous good looks, or his swoonworthy charm. Gil had fooled the public—and Lindy—into believing he was a great catch and a good guy...and then had been the exact opposite behind closed doors.

  “Here.” She attempted to return the handkerchief, but Ethan shook his head.

  “You keep it. Like I said, I go through them rather quickly, and I have plenty more.” Another charming smile, showing off straight white teeth amid a tan face, threatened to knock her senses off balance. “Seriously, keep it,” he said.

  Lindy didn’t have the wherewithal to argue, so she nodded. “Thanks.” Then she caught sight of Jerry, easing toward the fountain with the last bits of his bread.

  “Look at that one with the bread on his back,” one of the twins said, giggling and pointing.

  Jerry followed the direction of her finger and nodded. Lindy felt a sliver of hope. He was interacting with other children and, for a moment, didn’t look quite so sad.

  She so wanted to see him smile.

  “You said you need a job and a place to stay, right?” the lady beside her asked.

  “Yes.” She’d stayed in cheap—very cheap—hotels over the past week, but after buying the little used car that she’d needed to get to Claremont and purchasing a limited supply of clothing, she’d depleted almost all of the money she’d saved when she’d been married to Gil. Lindy was glad she’d been trying to save for a vehicle back then, or she wouldn’t have had anything beyond the ten dollars of “gate money” she’d been given when she was released.

  “Well, I happen to know that my grandparents are looking for help at their sporting goods store.” She pointed behind Lindy. “I’m Savvy Evans, but my maiden name is Bowers, and my grandparents’ store is over there. Bowers’s Sporting Goods. I actually worked there before we started the children’s home, and let me tell you, you won’t find any better people to work for.”

  “Of course, she’s a little prejudiced, but it’s the truth.” The man beside her grinned. “I’m Savvy’s husband, Brodie Evans.”

  Lindy couldn’t believe this turn of events. “You think they might hire me?” She’d already considered the difficulty of finding employment. If there were any sort of application process, or even a request for references, she didn’t have a prayer.

  Savvy nodded assuredly. “Of course I do.”

  God, I’m trying to learn to trust You, but how are You going to pull this off?

  Savvy continued to smile, and Lindy was struck by how much the offer meant to her. “We were planning to go over there and talk to my grandparents about our new fishing program after we leave the fountain. That’s what this position would involve, primarily working with the new Fishers of Men program that we’re starting for the kids at Willow’s Haven. Why don’t you come with us and talk to them about the job?”

  Lindy couldn’t remember the last time anyone had offered to help her, if ever. Then she thought about the man who’d just given her a handkerchief when she cried. The same one who wanted to adopt her son—and take Jerry away from her permanently.

  He looked at her now, and an instant awareness inched through her, the sensation that she’d been noticed by an extremely handsome man. Which was quickly followed by the memory of the last time an attractive man had noticed her. Then married her. And hurt her. Repeatedly.

  “Why don’t you go with us?” he asked, as though he thought she might want encouragement from him.

  She didn’t. In fact, she wanted him to leave, to get away from her and, more important, from her son.

  “I wanted to go there anyway, to see what Jerry and I will need for the time we’re going to spend together this summer. As much as I’ll admit I have no clue about fishing, I’m still excited about learning to fish with him.” He displayed another smile that punched her in the heart. He would be spending time with Jerry this summer.

  But so would she.

  She turned to Savvy. “I’d like to talk to them about the job.”

  “Awesome! Let’s go.” Savvy smiled broadly. So did Ethan.

  But Lindy could only pray. Pray that God would give her this chance to be around her little boy on a regular basis. She needed to get to know him again and show him that she loved him while the attorney figured out the best way for her to regain custody.

  And if that meant spending time with Ethan Green, so be it.

  Chapter Two

  Ethan walked with the group toward the sporting goods store and considered how he’d arrived in Claremont this morning with one goal: to begin the process of adopting Jerry and showing this little guy that someone would care about him, someone would love him unconditionally, never abandon him and take care of his every need.

  In other words, he wanted to be the kind of father that he’d never had, to a boy who was so much like himself.

  Because of Ethan’s own past, he’d always been drawn to those who’d been hurt or mistreated. That was why he couldn’t stop thinking about the woman who’d pierced his heart with her story.

  She wanted to adopt a child but didn’t think she had anything to offer. She had no family. No job. No home.

  What had happened to Lindy Burnett?

  And how could Ethan help?

  They reached the sporting goods store, and the twins darted inside to see their great-grandparents, Brodie and Savvy following. But Jerry didn’t join the group. Instead, he peered at the window display, which featured a bright green pedal boat suspended in the air and fishing gear propped on a sea of blue fabric.

  Candace, Ethan and Lindy stopped near the boy as he placed his palms against the window and examined the items.

  “What do you think of all that?” Ethan asked. “Pretty cool, huh?”

  Jerry’s small fingers curled in as he moved his hands together to bracket his eyes and catch a better view. “Yes,” he said, then he jerked his head toward Ethan and quickly added, “sir.”

  While Ethan was glad Jerry had finally spoken to him, he still glanced to the social worker and wondered if she was thinking the same thing—that the little boy had apparently gotten in trouble in the past for not addressing adults with respect.

  What kind of trouble? Ethan wondered. And at whose hand? Who had caused the fear in those bright blue eyes? The last family he’d lived with had wanted to adopt him then decided against it, but Jerry had been in several short-term placements before he’d ended up with them. Undoubtedly, at least
one of those homes had put this fear in the boy, because Jerry would’ve been too young to have worried about saying “sir” to Gil Flinn.

  How many people had already hurt this child?

  Lindy’s mouth turned down at the edges, and then she slowly crouched next to Jerry at the window, her long floral skirt gathering around her as she spoke to the doleful boy. “That green thing is called a pedal boat,” she said softly. “I always thought it would be fun to try one, but I’ve never had the chance.” She pulled at the edges of her pink cardigan as she leaned against the brick building and looked directly into Jerry’s eyes. Ethan was thrown once again by the sheer beauty of the woman, particularly as she spoke so tenderly to the boy. “Do you think it’d be fun, Jerry?” she asked.

  “Yes, ma’am.” He nodded, but then shook his head. “No.” He paused. “No, ma’am.”

  Lindy’s lower lip trembled, and Ethan stepped closer.

  “You don’t think that’d be fun, Jerry?” he asked.

  Another emphatic shake, and Ethan wondered what had just transpired in the boy’s head. Why had he changed his mind so quickly? More fear?

  Lindy released a heavy breath that reflected Ethan’s feelings. She looked pained, as if she felt as much agony over the child’s situation as Ethan.

  Did she?

  “Why don’t we go in the store, Jerry, and see what else they have, okay?” Candace prompted, placing a palm against Jerry’s back to guide him away from the window.

  Ethan stepped ahead to open the door for his future son. “Want to head inside, Jerry?”

  Still staring at the pedal boat, he shook his head, as though answering a silent question, then he eased away from the window and entered the store. Candace followed, while Ethan held the door.

  But Lindy remained crouched near the window. Her petite features were drawn, and a heavy tear slid down her left cheek. She made no effort to wipe it away, and Ethan watched as it moved past her jaw and then trickled down the slender column of her throat.