The Coffee Shop
Page 18
He climbed into the limousine calling up into the front seat. “Perfectly Natural, please, Lawrence.”
“Sir.”
He could see Lawrence watching him in the rear view mirror, and he smiled, trying to appear casual, but he knew he wasn’t pulling it off.
“Are you all right, sir?”
“Yes, Lawrence. Thanks for asking. Just a little disagreement with Miss Maddock. Something I hope to clear up.” He smiled self-consciously, uncertain as to why he had just shared all that personal information with Lawrence. He wasn’t the type to do that, just open up and spill his guts like that, and this concerned him. This whole Annie thing was putting him off his game. There you go again. Thinking of Annie like she was just another acquisition.
He shook his head, trying to push the thoughts from his head, and the limousine pulled into the parking lot of the store.
He stared over at the entrance, those few paces to walk to it being the hardest he would ever take. The door to the limousine opened, and it startled him. He had forgotten all about Lawrence. “Lawrence, thank you.” He stood, straightened his tie, and adjusted his suit jacket. “Wish me luck, Lawrence.”
Lawrence tipped his hat. “Good luck, sir.”
He’d never asked anyone to wish him luck before. He’d never had to. He didn’t need luck. He was fully capable of doing whatever was required of him to succeed in any given situation. But he had to stop himself from thinking that way when it came to Annie, and he was afraid he wouldn’t be able to. He was so used to falling back upon his gut instinct that he had to stop himself from doing so.
Maybe that was what happened last time. He couldn’t stop himself from doing what he always did. He realized he needed to distract himself. Keep himself off balance. And that was exactly what Annie did to him. Perhaps that was why he had that overwhelming compulsion to resort to what he knew. Speak from the heart. Speak from the heart.
Reaching the door, he opened it stepping inside. Scanning the store, he tried to catch sight of her, but he didn’t see her anywhere. Angela was standing behind the counter, and when their eyes locked, she motioned briefly in the direction of the back. Taking his cue, he moved in the direction she had indicated, walking with purpose toward the shelves of cereals and grains.
Annie was talking with a customer, sharing a story about some cereal they had both tried, and hated, but oh, it was just so good for you. She laughed and caught sight of Derrick, seeing him watching her from the end of the aisle. “This one here is good.” She picked up one of the boxes from the shelf, holding it out to the customer. “At least I liked it. You can always add fruit, or even put some cinnamon and honey on it if you like. Some people add yogurt. It’s up to you.”
The woman nodded, smiling, and slowly made her way back down the aisle past Derrick.
Looking back to the shelves, Annie started to straighten the boxes, moving them forward to fill in the now empty space. “Mr. Sloane.”
Derrick smiled at her use of his surname, and thought perhaps it would be best to return the greeting doing the same. “Miss Maddock.”
“Was there something I could do for you?”
“I…” He cleared his throat, and she stopped to look at him. “Uh…I was wondering if I might be able to talk with you?” She stared for what felt like a very long time to him, not saying anything.
“All right.”
She looked unhappy, but at least she was open to letting him say what he had come to tell her.
“Uh…would it be possible to talk somewhere where it’s a little more private?” For a second he was certain she was going to say no, but her expression changed, and she looked sad.
She glanced in the direction of the stock room, but turned walking toward the back. “Back here,” she said over her shoulder, without looking back.
He followed her out a door and into a back alley, most likely for deliveries, he surmised by the stacks of plastic crates piled by the door.
Taking one of the crates, she turned it upside down and sat on it. Leaning back against the building, she looked up at him without saying a word.
For a second he didn’t know what to say. Here she was ready and willing to listen, at least he hoped she would listen, and he was fidgeting like he was back in grammar school and called to the Principal’s office.
“Oh, sorry, would you like a seat?” She stood, looking for a crate to offer him.
“No. No, I’m just fine. Thanks for offering though.” And then he laughed. “I love that about you, Annie. Even in a situation like this, you are thinking of others, and their comfort, and are they okay? You are the most amazing person I have ever met, and that I would be so stupid as to even begin to think I had any right to suggest the way you are right now isn’t perfect?” The words had just up and gushed out of him before he even realized what it was he was doing, and he prayed it wasn’t the wrong thing to say. “Because you are perfect. You are the only perfect person I have ever met. I think that’s what had me so confused. I didn’t know that such a thing could exist, as a truly happy person. Content in the life they have, not needing to be the center of attention, or conquer the world, but truly happy. And I think it scared me. And I went into some sort of ‘Derrick knows how to fix this’ mode. In my thinking you needed to be fixed, but now I realize how incredibly stupid that was. Why do you have to be my version of what I think you should be? Where did I get the idea that was what I should be doing? Dumping all my insecurities all over you. In my own twisted way, I thought what I was doing was a good thing. But now that I’ve had a chance to step back and see the bigger picture I realize how totally idiotic it was to expect you to be another version of me. Especially when the person I fell in love with is exactly who you are.”
“You’re in love with me?”
“Oh, I’m sorry to just blurt it out like that. That was it, wasn’t it? The one really stupid thing I said that made you never want to see me ever again, wasn’t it?”
“I’m sorry? But what are you talking about?”
Derrick laughed. “What am I talking about? If only I knew, because lately, anything comes out of this mouth.”
“So, you didn’t mean what you said about being in love with me?”
Turning slightly away, Derrick closed one eye. “Yes?”
Annie stood, and stared up at him quizzically. “Was that a question? Because that sounded like a question.”
“Do you want it to be?”
Annie laughed. “Oh, my dear man. Just look at what you have been reduced to.” She shook her head. “Why is it that I make you this way?” She sighed and looked to the pavement. “I admit, that I too have started to have feelings for you. And I too, am not used to this.”
He took a step toward her. “You are?”
“It’s all happening so fast. It’s like I already know you, or some nonsense.” She raised her eyes to meet his. “Does that sound ridiculous to you?”
“I’ve been thinking the exact same thing.” Stepping to the building, he leaned up against it. “And here I thought I was the only one thinking that.” He knew in that moment that everything was going to be okay. That she had accepted him back into her life, and he hoped, into her heart. “So, we’re okay then?”
She smiled. “Yes, we’re okay.”
“Oh thank God.” He collapsed onto one of the crates. “Here I thought I had ruined any chance I had of ever being with you again.” He looked to see her watching him. “And I better stop talking before I say something else stupid and mess it up again.”
She laughed again, and reaching out, she ran her hand over his hair, but pulled her hand back. “I’m sorry, I don’t know why I just did that.” And then she shrugged. “I guess it’s that, I feel like I already know you, thing again.”
“Don’t mind me. I don’t have any problem with anything you may do.”
“Careful. You just may live to regret your words.” Her words sounded ominous, but she smiled, brushing the comment away with a wave of her hand. �
��I was going to go for a walk on the beach after work. You’re welcome to join me if you want?”
“I’d love to. And I know of a little pizza place that would really appreciate some business.” He glanced down at the pavement beneath his feet.
“I need to admit something to you, Annie.”
“Uh-oh.”
“No, nothing bad about you or anything. I just wanted to tell you, the idea of never seeing you again, to be honest, it scared me. I’ve never felt about a girl the way I do about you.” He turned to see her staring up at him. “I’ve proceeded to freak you out, haven’t I?”
“No, I just…yes, it’s strange to have someone say they feel that strongly about you so soon into a relationship. But I never pictured you as the kind of person that would admit he was scared, about anything, to anyone. It just surprises me. That’s all.”
“Oh, good. So then I haven’t completely freaked you out.”
“Well, now I never said that.”
For a second it felt like his heart had stopped beating.
“But not so much that I am running for the hills or anything.”
Derrick stopped short. “Excuse me? Did you say, ‘the hills,’ because I distinctly heard you say, ‘the hills?’”
“Oh you’re not going to give me a hard time about that, now are you?”
“Well, yes I was, as a matter of fact.”
“So, you don’t have any little expressions from your youth that have stuck over the years, and that slip out now and then?”
“No, thank God. Because in a meeting, that would not go over well, I can tell you. The way others see you is key to survival, if they see any sign of weakness they will go for the jugular.”
“So wait, you’re saying that if you let slip a small town expression, that it could mean the life or death of a deal?”
“Yep. I know I am more than capable, but it would be how they perceive me that alters the outcome of an agreement. If they even suspected I come from some small town…”
“That could mean the end of the deal?”
“Yes. Although, I have come across more than my share of what some would call, good ol’ boys, that are more cunning and shrewd when it comes to business dealings than any city raised boy ever was. I guess it has something to do with that survival of the fittest upbringing, and I guess the city has its own version of that as well. But just because you were country raised does not make you some sort of fool that can be had. And I could see how I could well use that to my advantage. Have them think I am some fool just off the farm and then take them for all they’ve got. But I would never do anything quite so underhanded. I prefer to lay most of my cards out right there where they can see them. That way, when I get the upper hand they can see it was by shrewd business and not some underhanded method that just leaves a bad taste in their mouth, and a reputation that will have no one dealing with you in the future. This way, they will respect you and come back to perhaps team up with you on something in the future.”
“You see, I knew there was something honest in your core. You are a good man, Derrick Sloane, and that’s what I like about you. That’s what I sensed about you from the moment I met you.”
“Oh, you did, did you?”
“Why sure. Take that jerk on the white cell phone, for example. Here he is distracted by his phone call, and in a hurry, and not bothering to be careful, and he spills his coffee all over you. Not one apology, not one look of remorse, not one second was spent in offering to help you clean up in any way. But instead, he blames you for the entire episode, curses at you, and leaves, deliberately bumping into you on the way out. The guy was an ass!”
“Excuse me, but did you just say — ”
“Yes, I did. And that is exactly what he was. But did you start screaming and yelling, did you start blaming him for something that the entire shop could see was his fault, did you tell him off? No. You took the high road, and even shrugged it off.”
“Well, to be honest, it happened so fast, that I didn’t have time to react, let alone say anything.”
“So, you’re saying that if you had the time to think about it that you would have told the guy off?”
“Probably. It would depend on what kind of day I was having as to exactly how I would handle it though. As to which curse word I would use at any given moment.” She was staring at him, and he looked down. “Well, maybe I am exaggerating just a little bit.”
“A little bit?”
He hesitated.
“Derrick?”
He laughed at her expression. “That guy was being a jerk, and I probably would have said something to him just to let him know he can’t get away with it. You know the expression two wrongs don’t make a right? Well, I can’t always agree with that. That jerk, for instance. Here he goes around openly mistreating people in the worst possible way, and if no one stands up to him, then he is being sent the message that what he is doing is acceptable. Perhaps he doesn’t even see it as wrong. Without anyone to point this out to him he just keeps on abusing people. So, if by giving him a healthy dose back of what he is giving out, then maybe he’ll realize, hey I can’t get away with it. Or, hey, I don’t like being treated that way, and hopefully he’ll see that is exactly how he’s been treating others. Or that maybe one of these times someone may not be as tolerant and up and punch him in the nose.” He shrugged. “So, if my giving him back what he is giving out stops him from ever doing it to anyone else ever again, then, to me then two wrongs did make a right. Although, from my perspective, what I am doing isn’t wrong.”
“So, what do you say to people who tell you you’re just sinking to his level by doing that?”
“Oh, man, don’t even get me started on that one.”
“But oh, please do,” she insisted.
He laughed. “By talking at a level that would be considered above his, is he even really hearing the message being conveyed? I would say not. It goes completely over his head, right past him without him grasping what is being said. If you have two people both talking to each other but from a completely different perspective then you aren’t communicating. If I speak in a civilized tone, using words with more than one syllable, is he understanding I am angry, and that what he is doing is wrong and needs to stop? No. But if I talk at his level, in his tone, using his words, he understands me perfectly. Message delivered!”
“I love how you see things. You took some philosophy in college, right?”
“No, I just took a step back and thought about it. When I witness that kind of abusive behavior, I get angry and want to do something about it. I want them to stop doing that to nice people. I guess you could say I can’t help myself.” She was staring up at him with a look he had never seen before. “What?”
“Listening to you talk just now, makes me want to be exactly like you.”
“Oh, I don’t know about that. I think the world is already spinning from there being one Derrick Sloane in it. If there were two, well I don’t know. It could mean the end of civilization as we know it.”
She laughed, strolling next to him as they moved down the beach.
“Ah, here’s the place I was talking about.”
Derrick ordered a couple of slices of pizza, and as they sat at a table, eating and watching the sun slowly get lower in the sky, he smiled at how the day had come full circle.
“I’m so glad you came by the store. I was wondering if you would. But then I wasn’t sure what you’d have to say either. Part of me was afraid you’d tell me I was being short-sighted for not seeing your side of things. Thing is, I had carefully considered all my options years ago and — ”
“You don’t need to explain yourself to me. I had no right to butt into your life like that.”
“I can understand why you wanted to. I know you want what is best for me. And I appreciate that you care about me enough to say something.”
He grinned at her words. “I know my thoughts aren’t always welcome, but it doesn’t seem to stop me from doing it a
nyway, unfortunately. One of these times I’m going to get a punch in the nose, if I keep putting my two cents in.”
She finished her pizza and smiled up at him. “I love watching the sun set on a beach. There’s just something very moving about it. I’ll never get tired of it.”
“You say that like you are remembering fond moments from your past.”
“Yes, I guess I am. As a girl I’d watch the sunset. I’d sit by myself and watch the sun as it would get low in the sky. And then it would turn orange and red, and it was like I’d have the whole world to myself. It was so peaceful. There was this one summer when we traveled to the coast. My mom and I would walk on the beach at sunset, the warm air gently blowing in from the water. And there was this walkway, a sort of wide gravel path you could stroll down. It would always be full of people strolling up and down. The houses just right there next to the beach slowly coming to life, as the lights would be turned on and glow out into the night. You got this feeling of all the possibilities that hadn’t been explored yet, of what the night could hold. What fun and entertaining things it could have in store. It had this magical feeling that…”
“What?”
“Oh, it’s just that I’ll never have that again, not like that anyway. She’s gone now, and it’s just not the same without her somehow, you know?”
“Yes. I understand.”
“Do you?”
“Yes, actually, I do.”
She nodded, and rising, they strolled back down the beach, only this time in silence as they both remembered those times from before. Derrick reached out to take Annie’s hand in his own, and she entwined her fingers into his.
And when finally she said good-bye at her apartment door, she leaned forward and kissed him.
“What was that for?”
“For not trying. I appreciate that you are not trying to push me before I’m ready.” She smiled. “That means a lot to me.”
“You know, now I understand.”
“What’s that?”
“Why you pretend to not know anything.” She didn’t say anything, and he leaned against the door frame. “The moment people know, they immediately have expectations of you.” He shook his head. “I did it myself. Your every move becomes watched, and judged and criticized.”