I didn’t have to wait long. My phone beeped.
Why do you want his details?
I thought about a way of asking her that would convince her to give up his name and number. I smiled as it came to me. I typed fast.
I want to say thank you to the man who gave us the machine. I was going to try and work my way through all the people who’ve received treatment with it.
She’d either bite or she wouldn’t. But if we could find the first person, maybe he would know where it came from, and maybe even how to fix it. I swore under my breath at Jimmy once more. Why did he feel the need to tinker with everything?
Janie took a little longer to reply, but she came up trumps.
I was told the guy who started it all is called Rich Newland. I think he owns the church. The guy who gave me the key was a man called Dave. I’ll text you his number.
For a brief moment I actually smiled. Of course, I could go through the property records in the council and find this Rich Newland that way. At the same time I should keep working backwards through the cured people. Make sure I came at the problem from all angles.
My phone beeped again and there was a landline number there. Janie was wonderful. I texted her my thanks, leaving far too many ‘x’s.
“Something’s cheered you up.” Jimmy was no longer watching the television. He’d turned my way, staring at me as I typed on my phone.
I tried to calm the giant grin on my face. “I may have a lead on the guy who put the machine in the church. Maybe he knows where it came from, and maybe he has an idea about fixing the damn thing.”
Jimmy sat up. “Really?”
It was then that I noticed the lines of regret etched in Jimmy’s face. If I had to guess, I’d say he’d aged five years in a day. I sighed. Now wasn’t the time for a war. “Jimmy, will you promise me you won’t fiddle in the machine any more, and that you will not break any more of it?”
“Does this mean you love me again?”
“Promise me, Jimmy.”
“I promise not to break or tinker with the machine anymore, other than when I fix it, which I will.”
I nodded. That was the best I could hope to get from him.
“Oh, you had post this morning. Did you see it?”
“No?” I stood up and started towards the hall. “Is it on the shelves?”
Jimmy grunted an affirmative. There it was, a brown envelope, the type only the hospital seemed to use. I ripped it open.
“It’s for my scan,” I said as I walked back into the living room. “It’s on Tuesday, early.”
“Which kind has the doc ordered?”
“It’s for an MRI at Arrowe Park. Seven-fifty in the morning.”
“Why are they always so early? They never give you a reasonable time slot, like four in the afternoon.” Jimmy started crunching on his popcorn again, back to half watching the TV.
I thought about how lucky I was to be getting so many scans with such a short wait. When I thought about the stories I’d heard from people in other parts of the country waiting weeks for a scan, I knew how fortunate I was. Early or late in the morning, I didn’t care. This was going to be the proof of the machine. I’d get to see if it really was working and how far towards cured that last session had taken me.
Once again butterflies erupted in my tummy. What would the doctors do when they saw my lung was clear? Maybe the other one would be clear now as well. I couldn’t help but smile to myself. At the same time I felt my emotions well up and threaten to bring tears. If my lungs were clear I knew that opened me up to all sorts of other treatments that had been denied to me for so long. Even if the machine never worked again, it may have put my health on a brand new path, one I thought closed forever.
I put the letter down and joined Jimmy on the sofa. I snuggled up against him, feeling safe as he wrapped an arm around me. I didn’t really watch the television, but closed my eyes and dreamed of what the doc’s reaction to my scan might be.
16
Going to Wales
“Wake up, Jimmy.”
I gave him a gentle push and was rewarded with a soft snoring sound.
“Jimmy, wake up!”
I shoved harder this time, rocking him back and forth. Jimmy flopped onto his back, opened one eye and tried to make out the time on the clock.
“It’s ten o’clock, a perfectly reasonable time to be getting up,” I told him. “We’re going to Wales.”
“It’s Sunday, are you insane?”
“Yup, and I’m taking you down with me. Now move.”
Jimmy yawned, adjusted his pillows and sat up just a little. “Exactly why are we going to Wales?”
For a moment I thought about fudging the truth. But I didn’t do well being covert with Jimmy. “Dad’s sailing at Bala Lake. I want to go see him.”
“Bala Lake…?”
“Yes, there’s an issue I’ve got to sort out.”
“An issue…?”
“Stop repeating what I’m saying, it’s annoying.”
“Annoying?” Jimmy smirked and I ignored him.
“Mum thinks Dad’s cheating on her with this woman who’s joined the Old Codger’s Club.”
“Don’t be so silly. He wouldn’t cheat.” Jimmy closed his eyes again.
I shoved him. “He’s done it before. Ages ago, before we got together.”
“You’re kidding me?” He seemed to be paying attention now. “Your dad, cheating?” Jimmy frowned. “Even if he did screw around on your mother once upon a time, can’t quite see it happening now.”
“Apparently, she thinks he is. Anyway I want to go there and find out what’s going on.”
“You want to catch him in the act.”
I hesitated. That wasn’t what I wanted to do. Catching in the act was something I really didn’t want to do. I wanted this to be a misunderstanding so I could go back to Mum and tell her everything was okay, and that I’d sorted it out. I realized that this was the type of thing I used to do all the time before I got ill: sorting problems out, fixing situations, and mending feelings. When exactly did cancer make me so selfish and self-centered? Sometime in the last two years I’d forgotten about everyone else.
“I want to find out what’s going on, for Mum’s sake. Besides, can you imagine my father cheating after so long?”
Jimmy didn’t reply for a moment then shook his head. “Can’t see it myself.”
“Well, Mum’s convinced and I won’t be able to get Dad on his own at their house. I figured finding him at the lake would be a good start.” I rolled out of bed. “I’m off for a shower. You’re next.”
Just before eleven we headed out the house. I knew Dad would be coming home today, and had my fingers crossed it was a good sailing day and he’d still be there. I thought about texting him that we were coming, but with a heavy heart I decided to keep that quiet until we got there. If he was up to something I needed to be able to catch him unawares.
Jimmy drove, I’d had a busy few days and slept for just over an hour. I woke up not long before we got to Bala, the town at the far end of the lake, with Jimmy giving me a not so gentle shove to wake me.
“Which campground is he at?” Jimmy had a map of Bala open on his iPad.
I yawned and tried to focus on the map. “Haven’t the foggiest. Let’s drive around the lake and look for Dad’s car. There can’t be that many campsites, right?”
Jimmy scratched at his stubble. “I dunno. There’s a fair few listed here.” He scrolled back and showed me a list of campsites.
“Just drive, okay? He’ll be at one that’s by the water so he can launch his dingy boat.”
Jimmy drove down one side of the lake, stopping at three campsites along the way. We drove through a village at the other end of the lake and started up the other side. It was coming up on two o’clock and I was getting nervous that we’d come all this way for nothing. Time was getting on and we’d still not found him.
We pulled into the second campsite along the north side of
the lake and my heart jumped. Dad’s car! There were five small tents all in a row with five cars parked to one side along with a corresponding number of boat trailers tucked away. The Old Codger’s Club, yay! We’d found them. After explaining to the owners of the site that I was the daughter of one of the campers, we were allowed to park-up for a couple of hours. Jimmy and I walked to the rocky shore and sat on an old tree trunk. The weather was coming from behind us, the wind whipping my hair into my face, a thin misty rain trying to turn into something wetter. Several boats were on the lake, all of them going great guns across the water. I spotted Dad’s boat off to the left of us, as he tacked back up the lake. For an old guy, he sure was fit and able.
As I snuggled up to Jimmy, I thought about Mum and her fears. What if she was right? What if Dad was having some sort of senior-life crisis? Then it started, my first pity fest in days. Would I get to grow old with Jimmy? Would I have the luxury of going grey and wrinkly? Old couples made me so jealous, especially the ones that had obviously been together almost their entire lives, the way Jimmy and I would be if I was given the gift of life.
A year or so earlier an acquaintance, after learning of my illness, told me how she had a number of friends living with cancer and that until the end came, treatments gave them a reasonable quality of life. Problem was, she was past retirement age. The friends she spoke of were all in their sixties and seventies. I was a mere forty years old at the time. Her friends had seen their children grow up, get married, had the pleasure of seeing what kind of adults their children would become. They’d probably had grandchildren presented to them. They’d had their careers and made their mark on the world. They’d had a chance to travel or at least live a life with their husbands or wives. I wanted to stuff her words back into her mouth. I smiled and nodded and thought to myself how I’d be lucky if I made it to forty-five. Maybe I should have asked her what she was doing at forty-five and told her that was when I thought I’d be dying.
A tightening on my arm brought me back to the lake, the wind and the spitting rain. Jimmy was giving me a squeeze. We could see my dad on his boat.
“I’m sorry, Kath,” Jimmy said and pulled me closer.
I focused, rubbed my eyes and hoped to see things differently, but nothing changed. Someone was sat with Dad, and that someone was a woman.
“I want to go.” I stood up, too quickly and a rush of blood to my head made me stagger. The pebble beach crunched under my feet as I checked to see where our car was parked.
“You don’t want to talk to him?” Jimmy sounded incredulous.
I shook my head as I glanced back at Dad’s boat.
“After we came all this way?”
The wind picked up and I watched as Dad adjusted the sail and the boat suddenly took off. The woman in the boat gave a little shriek, the sound almost entirely snatched by a gust. I was sure I heard the shriek turn to laughter.
“I want to go,” I said again, hearing my voice come out cold. How could Dad do that to my mother? Nearly fifty years of marriage and this is how it ends. Dad sailing about with some middle-aged trollop on board. Didn’t he learn his lesson the first two times he was caught? Mum had said three strikes and you’re out. This was number three.
Jimmy remained sitting on the log. “I think you and your dad need to sort it out here and now.”
“You’re pissed off because I’m going to make you drive another hour and a half and you haven’t had a break.”
The clouds whipped by the tops of the hills that surrounded Bala Lake. Little white dots covered the gentle slopes leading out of the valley. It seemed if you had a green patch in Wales you put some sheep on it.
“Kath, that’s not it. You won’t be happy if you leave like that. You need to sort it out.”
My face suddenly felt hot, tears were close. I turned my face towards the wind to try and cool my emotions. What was he doing cheating on Mum? Bastard! “No, we’re going.” My voice quivered. An urge to run came over me, to get far away before Jimmy and my father saw how upset I was. Stupid cancer got into everything. It was like a black mold that slowly choked the life out of everything around a person. I should have seen this coming, I should have been paying attention. So many things were going unnoticed by me. Cass was pregnant for God’s sake. How did I not see that one coming?
Jimmy remained on the log and his lack of movement was beginning to really piss me off. He stared out into the lake and said, “He’s seen you.”
I saw Dad now, waving from the boat and using the wind to shoot him towards the shore. He’d be on dry land before I even reached the car at the rate his boat was going. If I wasn’t so cross, so upset, so confused by what I’d seen I might have been impressed.
“Kath!” Dad shouted to me, a big smile on his face. So brazen, that woman sitting beside him. From the angle I had it looked like one of her hands was on his leg. Jesus! Did he think I couldn’t see her or that I wouldn’t notice her once he was on the shore?
Dad’s boat got as close to the beach as he was going to allow it. He tossed a rope to Jimmy who was finally on his feet.
“Hold her steady, would you?”
Jimmy knew the drill and kept a firm grip of the rope as Dad climbed out of the boat and into the water, his waders keeping him dry. Between the two of them they got the boat on the pebbles and the woman climbed out. She made a beeline for me, a wide smile on her face.
I looked left, then right, searching for an escape route. All I could think is that this moment would forever be seared on my brain as the moment I met the woman who split up my parents. She’d not said a word and I already hated her. I backed up the bank and onto the grassy verge.
“Kath? Hello.” The woman came at me, a hand extended in greeting. Before I had a chance to escape she had one of my hands, not to shake but to grasp with her own warm hands. “I’m Margret.” She spoke with an educated accent and I imagined her coming from a wealthy family.
“Hi…”
Dad and Jimmy had dealt with the boat and both were now heading our way. Jimmy was chatting with my father his hands skittering around as he spoke, a sure sign he was excited about something.
“Your father has told me so much about you. I’m sorry to hear about your health problems.”
God was she smooth. How dare she, this home wrecker, how dare she talk to me like this.
“Kath,” Jimmy said as he and Dad joined us. “It’s not what you think.” His eyes were gleaming.
“Hi sweetheart.” Dad came up and placed a kiss on my cheek, his beard tickling my skin. “To what do I owe the honor of you hunting me down in Wales?”
I knew Dad must already know why I was here, he and Jimmy had spoken. I shrugged and looked to Jimmy for help. But all Jimmy did was put an arm around me and grin stupidly at Margret.
“You’ll never guess what I’ve been up to.” Dad smirked, glancing at Margret.
I was so confused, how could he think I would be pleased? My face was going hot again, despite the wind and the misting rain. No matter what, I wasn’t going to let myself cry in front of this woman.
I shook my head, not trusting myself to speak.
“Margret here,” he linked arms with her and gave her a gentle squeeze, “is helping me plan for your mother’s and my fiftieth wedding anniversary.”
The surprise hit me hard. Despite my best efforts tears were suddenly falling. He wasn’t cheating, he was planning an event?
“Hey what’s wrong?” Dad wrapped me up in his arms, and I was ten again, crying over the death of our cat, Jerry. Dad felt as big and strong and as comforting as he ever had.
“I thought… I thought…”
He cut me off. “Shush, don’t worry. We’ll talk about it later.”
Jimmy must have had a damn quick chat with him as they worked on the boat.
But it should have been me. It should have been me that he came to for help, not this stranger. I was his family, he should have come to me. And I knew why he hadn’t. I was the cancer daughte
r, the sickly woman who shouldn’t be bothered. It would tire me or stress me, and how do you time meetings for secret events when your accomplice is sick with chemo or can only think about the latest upcoming scan? Here it was, one more facet of my life, stolen by this stupid disease. I hated it, hated every aspect of this sickness. How it slowly took away my very person. I’d be dead long before cancer stopped my heart.
I dragged my sleeve across my face to dry my tears, feeling like a petulant child, and tried to get my emotions under control.
Dad let me go and nodded at the small café. “Come on. I’ll treat us to a tea and tell you all the plans.”
17
Finding Mr. Newland
I woke up and didn’t move for a long time. Yesterday’s turn of events still had me in a state of shock. My phone beeped and I grabbed it from the bedside cabinet. Oh, God. It was Janie.
How did your last session go? When do you have a scan? That’s the proof of the pudding! :) Are you excited? xxx
Damn her and her attentiveness. How on earth was I going to fool her into thinking I was already cured? Shit.
Jimmy was in his study banging away on his keyboard and whistling tunelessly along to whatever music was coming through his headphones. It occurred to me that I didn’t know Jimmy’s plan to fix the pod. I put the phone down and chose to ignore the message for now. Maybe Jimmy would fix the machine and I could text her screams and shouts about how I was cured. Maybe pigs would fly.
“Oi, Jimmy.” Feeling lazy, or maybe chemo tiredness, I wasn’t sure, but I didn’t feel like going to him. “Jimmy!” I shouted.
“What?”
“Come here, I want to talk to you.”
I heard a sigh, and then a clunk as the headphones landed on the desk.
“What? Some of us are trying to work, you know.”
I smiled, this was his daily disclaimer. My guess was he was scanning the Daily Mail headlines. He came into the room, went around the bed and opened the curtains a little. The sun came in, making me blink as Jimmy sat against the window sill.
That Elusive Cure Page 8