by Eric Vall
Chapter 1
I soaked in the rays of the sun and enjoyed the view of the pristine, blue water that looked back at me over the railing of the ship. An even better view, however, was located just off to my right.
Eligor, Cupi, Invidia, and Libidine had all come along on this excursion to Earth Realm, and each one of them were clad in the tightest, skimpiest bikinis they could find.
Cupiditas was wearing a white, wrap-style bikini top that pushed against her perky breasts so tightly, I was afraid it was going to tear at any moment. Around her lower half was an equally tight set of bottoms that pressed against her tight ass and came up to about her belly button. The most important feature, however, was it would become nearly transparent the second she got wet.
Par for the course, Invidia had on a tiny black bikini with a top that barely covered her nipples. The straps of the top were arranged in the form of a pentagram around her clavicle, and the bottoms bore a printed image of a skull wearing a beanie.
Then there was Libidine. The Sister of Lust had on the most revealing outfit of them all, a “sling” bikini whose only pieces of fabric were two dark swatches of nylon just large enough to cover her nipples and then a horizontal patch that barely concealed the tender slit between her legs. All of it was held together by a few thin pieces of chord, and it was the closest thing to naked the succubi could be up here on Earth.
Eligor was still trying to grow accustomed to the norms of the human world. No matter how much we advised her, the blonde knight was adamant about keeping her traditional silver, scalemail armor.
But it pretty much was a bikini, and the outfit looked just as sexy as all the rest of them, so I didn’t complain.
“You okay, Jakey?” Todd’s voice asked as he walked up and leaned against the railing to my left. “We’re out on a fucking Caribbean cruise, bro. Shouldn’t you be partying like the rest of us? I swear I’m on, like, my fifth joint of the day.”
“So, a normal Saturday then?” I joked.
Todd was currently back in his human form, and he was wearing a black-and-green pair of swim trunks with pot leaves scattered across the front and back. He also had on a bright red Hawaiian shirt that had been left open to expose his pot belly and grody blond body hair for all to see. There was an obnoxiously large dollop of sunscreen on his nose, and he wore a giant sun hat on his noggin.
“You laugh, but this is just the Toddster’s pregame,” the imp in disguise mused before he finished off his joint and flicked it into the ocean. “The real party’s gonna start when it gets dark outside and all the cabana chicks start coming out.”
“I don’t think it’s that sort of cruise, bro,” I reminded him. “Besides, we’re here for work, not pleasure.”
“Come on, Jacob,” Libidine giggled as she stared me down playfully. “You should know by now, when it comes to succubi, it’s all one and the same.”
“Seriously, Jacob,” Invidia added with a coy smile, “even I’m having a blast out here. No screamo needed. I’m just worried I’m gonna bring down a plane with my pale-ass arms.”
The gothic succubus showed off the light, cream-colored skin on her body with a little twirl, and I felt my trunks tightening as I checked out her barely-contained curvy ass.
“Careful, Vidia,” Cupi warned. “Your body is amazing, and we don’t need to get Jacob all hot and bothered while he’s trying to work.”
“That’s the truth,” Todd added. “Jakey starts walking around here with a hard-on, and there’s gonna be some questioning stares. Maybe even some cops called. I dunno about you, but I don’t wanna end up meeting Chris Hanson today.”
“It’s hard not to be hot and bothered when you guys all look sexy as fuck,” I protested. “You may as well have chosen to go naked.”
“I would have enjoyed that,” Cupi shrugged, “but, like you told us when we first joined you, we can’t just go around flaunting our ‘naughty bits.’ It’s too distracting.”
As I stared down at the succubus’ erect nipples, I temporarily forgot what I was going to say.
“Uh, yeah,” I mumbled, “totally less distracting.”
“Are you certain that Loras and Duglot are here?” Eligor finally spoke up. “This seems like an odd place for Demon Lords to go and hide.”
“Goldilocks,” Todd chuckled as he put his arm around her shoulder, “Jakey and I have been killing Demon Lords since, well … it’s only been three years, but we’ve still totally got the experience. And if there’s one thing I’ve learned in our many adventures, it’s that demon fuckers like to hide in plain sight.”
“It’s true,” Cupi agreed, “before we went down to Hell to fight Azazel, all of the enemies we faced were living amongst the humans in disguise. Loras and Duglot will be no different.”
“How are we going to find them?” Eligor questioned. “There must be at least a thousand people on this … what did you call it? A ‘cruise?’”
“That will be easy,” Cupi retorted coyly. “Are you familiar with the Apocalypsis augurium?”
“Of course, I am,” the blonde knight responded. “It’s the one I always had to be on the lookout for when I was undercover in the Fourth Circle. I had a counter-curse ready to go and everything.”
“I wasn’t aware there was such a thing,” Cupi pondered aloud. “I always thought the Apocalypsis augurium was too powerful to be countered.”
“Not when you have Lilith on your side,” Eligor responded with a cocky smile. “When you work for the original succubus, anything is possible.”
“Do you think Lumis and Sandlot will have one of those counter curses or whatever the fuck you call them?” Todd questioned. “Because, just between you and me, I wanna get this whole mission over with realll quick like. That way I can go back to hanging out with all the babes in the hot tub. Did you know the water jets in those things are great for foreplay?”
“For the man, or the woman?” Invidia asked in a somewhat horrified tone.
“It all depends on what floats your boat, Elvira,” the imp snickered. “Ya know, whether or not you’re doing the pitching or the catching. Whether you’re givin’ it or takin’ it. Whether you’re the pipe or Mario.”
“We get it, Todd,” I laughed and then motioned up and down to his body. “But I must ask … do the chicks really dig the whole ‘Shaggy meets Monkey D. Luffy’ look?”
“Who the fuck wouldn’t?” Todd gasped with offense. “Those are two of the greatest characters to ever grace our universe, bro. Their shows probably both have the same number of episodes, too. So, thank you for the compliment, Jakey.”
“You’re welcome, bro,” I chuckled and then turned back to the scantily clad Cupiditas, “but he does have a point. How does this spell work? You never got to finish telling me about it before we left.”
“That’s because I was too busy finishing you in another way.” The blonde woman winked, and I felt my trunks tighten against my dick. “If you must know, it’s a Medieval incantation used a lot during the Crusades. Lucifer and his followers were highly active during that time period, so the forces of the Divine worked with the Pope to come up with a spell that would allow one to see through the disguise of a demon walking among humans.”
“Uhhhh, why didn’t I know about this sooner?” I questioned. “That could have saved us a boatload of time back when we were first getting started.”
“It wasn’t really needed.” Cupi shrugged. “We had the book from the Chapel of the Trinity that told us exactly who we were looking for, and most of the time we were trying to stay undercover when we went after them. Using such a powerful spell would have been counterintuitive.”
“Then why are we using it now?” Todd questioned.
“Because,” I cut in, “we have no idea who
Duglot and Loras are pretending to be. They could be the captain of this ship or one of the kids running around or even one of those girls you’re trying to fuck. All we know is our cultists found their hideout here on Earth and saw the itinerary for this cruise. That’s why we’re here.”
“I really hope they’re not those sexy babes,” Todd shuddered. “That’d be a real fucked up game of Guess Who, bro. One where you don’t realize you’re wrong until there’s a one-eyed lizard staring you back in the face.”
“Don’t worry, Todd,” Cupi reassured us all, “I’m going to go around vetting each and every one of these people before we make a move. The spell may be extremely powerful, but it only has a small radius, which means I will have inspected all the different parts of this cruise ship, piece by piece.”
“How can we help, Sister?” Libidine asked, but Cupi just shook her head.
“I’m not sure you can,” the blonde admitted. “It’s a very complex spell, one that I only learned how to master a few thousand years ago.”
“Oh,” Todd snickered under his breath, “only a few thousand years.”
“That’s not a long time for a demon, Todd,” Invidia explained. “Imagine if you only learned how to play the guitar a year ago. You wouldn’t be shredding in front of a live audience yet, right? You might maaaybe know the riff in Fat Lip or Misery Business, but that’d be about it. That’s how Cupi is with this spell.”
“Exactly,” the Sister of Greed said with a nod. “Teaching any of you this spell would take far too long, so it is a burden I alone have to bear. Besides, you’ve been far too stressed out lately, my love. Take some time to relax and unwind, and then I’ll send up the signal when I find these guys.”
As much as I hated to admit it, she was right. Ever since we went down through the Porta ad Infernos all those months ago, it’d been one thing after the other. If it wasn’t facing off against a devil worm or going into the final battle with my arch-nemesis, it was trying to ward off paranormal assassins or trying my damnedest to form alliances with other Demon Kings.
It was all to gain more power, which was awesome, but holy shit, was it exhausting.
“Say no more, Cupi,” Todd said through a toothy grin. “The Toddster’s gonna sit his ass down right over there, in the chair with a clear view of the hot tub, and take in the beautiful view with a blunt in my hand. Maybe I’ll even turn invisible for a while and wank a few out. Nobody would know any better. These decks are already full of semen, anyways.”
All four of us let out a collective groan at the imp’s words.
“You just couldn’t help yourself, could you?” I laughed.
“Bro,” Todd said as he nodded his head seriously, “if you thought you were getting through this whole cruise without hearing a ‘seamen’ joke or eleven, you were most sorely mistaken. I’ve got a bunch of ones lined up about poop decks and scuttlebutts and ‘blowing the man down’, and moby-in my dick, and all that shit, too. Wanna hear ‘em?”
“Maybe after the mission is over,” I chuckled. “Right now, I think I’m gonna take Cupi’s advice and just chill for a bit.”
“That’s what I like to hear!” the blonde succubus exclaimed. “I’ll go get started on finding the two Demon Lords, and you guys get some much needed rest and relaxation. Do you remember the signal?”
“A blast of blue Hellfire, straight up into the air,” I recollected. “When we see that, we’ll come running to your position.”
“Excellent,” Cupi finished. “I’ll see you all in a little while.”
Then the succubus turned around, bowed her head, and muttered something in Latin underneath her breath. As soon as the words were out of her mouth, a small, subtle pulse of purple light spread out from her feet and travelled across the wood of the deck. She stood there for a moment, looked around curiously, and then moved on to the next spot.
“You think she’ll be alright?” Libidine asked with a tinge of worry in her voice. “Duglot and Loras aren’t exactly pushovers. What if they see her coming?”
“They won’t,” I promised the succubus, “and even if they do, they sure as fuck aren’t going to engage. They’re scared shitless of us, remember? Not to mention, by now they must know how bad I fucked up Kegg. If I can take on Beelzebub’s most feared general, then I sure as hell can kill these two pussies.”
“I hope you’re right,” Libidine sighed. “I just worry about my sister sometimes. She may be a badass demon warrior, but she’s still only one succubus.”
“That’s where you’re wrong,” I reminded the dark-haired woman as we watched Cupi walk away, “you’re not just a succubus. You’re a Demon Lord, and a damn good one at that.”
Libidine didn’t say anything, but I could see the happiness on her face as she ran over and snuggled up against me. Her hair smelled sweet, and her skin was soft as silk against my own.
“Have I ever mentioned how much I love having you as a King?” she giggled as I held her in my arms. “You’re always so encouraging and kind.”
“He even makes me happy,” Invidia snorted, “and I hate being happy. Ewwww.”
“That’s what I do.” I shrugged at my girls. “One of many services that I’m known for.”
“Alright, it’s getting a little too sappy over here for me,” Todd admitted with a wave of his hand. “If you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go sit my ass down, smoke a joint, and take in all the gorgeous views of paradise while I think about the terrible things I wanna do to these smoking-hot chicks.”
“And he said I was the one who was going to end up on a list,” I whispered to the knight and the succubi as Todd walked away. “Oh well. Who wants to go for a swim? I’m sure the water’s great.”
Eligor leaned over the bannister of the boat and made a strange face as she observed the crashing waves.
“Surely you can’t be serious?” she asked with some concern. “I mean, I could tame the waters with my Hellfire, but that’s far from what I’d call ‘great.’”
“I believe he’s talking about the pool, Eligor,” Libidine corrected with a giggle. “It’s up on the second story of the boat.”
“Oh!” the blonde knight gasped with realization. “In that case, I’m all for it. It’s been ages since I’ve actually gone swimming since, well, the water in Hell is in pretty short supply. I just hope this chainmail doesn’t weigh me down.”
“Don’t worry,” I joked as I wrapped my arm around the blonde knight, “I’ll make sure we stay in the shallow end.”
“Darn,” Liby giggled, “you of all people know that deep is better.”
I felt my face flush a bit as my heart fluttered in my chest. If anything, Liby was the one who liked it deep.
“You coming, Vidia?” I asked back to the gothic succubus as we began to saunter toward the stairs.
“Sure.” The Sister of Envy shrugged, but I could tell she was more excited than she let on. “Just as long as I don’t get my makeup washed off. It takes a lot of effort to look this alabaster.”
Invidia jogged up to us and then pushed up against Libidine so she was within my wingspan.
With all three beautiful women in tow, I wandered across the deck of the ship’s first floor and then up the patterned metal staircase that led to the second level. As I moved through the throngs of people, I could sense there were dozens of eyes watching me curiously.
Why wouldn’t they be? I had three of the most beautiful women in the universe in my arms, three beautiful women who were wearing next to nothing at all.
They must have thought I was some sort of billionaire playboy, but they were wrong.
I was a fucking king.
The second story of the cruise ship was the top of the boat, and we were instantly met with the sight of the vast, open sea. The sky was equally as blue, and it stretched on for as far as the eye could see.
“Humans actually do this for fun?” Eligor questioned. “They seclude themselves out in open waters, hundreds of miles away from any sort of civilization?”<
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“Sounds like Heaven on Earth to me,” Vidia mused. “Just give me a deserted island, a notebook, my tunes, and I’ll be all set. And Jacob. I’d definitely need Jacob.”
“The fun is generally what happens on the boat,” I explained. “Check it out.”
I nodded over to a large group of people who stood around cocktail tables as they sipped their fancy drinks and conversed happily.
Just to the right of those people was a small stage with a theatrical light set up and a karaoke machine. There was an older couple on the stage swaying to the beat of Margaritaville as they tried to sing along with the words. However, something told me they already had too many margaritas for that to be possible.
On the far end of the deck was the five-star buffet, packed to the brim with every incredible food item you could imagine. Piles of buttered rolls towered over pans of garlic-roasted green beans, cheesy potatoes, and greasy meatloaf smothered with ketchup.
Even though I didn’t feel the slightest bit hungry, the sight brought a tsunami of drool to my mouth.
But that wasn’t what we were here for.
There, at the very center of the deck, was a massive pool whose water was as crystal clear as the ocean itself. The sun was just setting over the horizon, and the entire deck was now lit up by warm lights hung from poles placed at ten-foot intervals. There were built-in lights in the pool, as well, and they cut brightly through the water like a beacon that begged for our attention.
The four of us walked over to an empty set of lounge chairs, and then I pulled my shirt off my body and tossed it nonchalantly on the ground. A few of the women who were already in the pool let out an audible gasp, but I tried not to pay them any mind.
I already had all I needed right here in front of me.
“I’ll go first,” I announced, and then I took off toward the medium-depth section of the pool. “Cannonball!”
I jumped up into the air, tucked my legs into my chest, and then smashed into the surface of the water. It was nice and warm, and it embraced my body like a swaddled baby as I sank to the bottom. I felt my feet touch the concrete of the ground, so I pushed myself back up to the surface.