by Eric Vall
The second my head broke through the top of the pool, I saw Libidine had copied my actions. The succubus was already in mid-air with her body tucked into itself, and then she crashed into the pool with a large splash. Seconds later, her head popped back up, and she let out a loud cackle.
“That was so much fun!” she exclaimed. “Maybe we should use our pool at the mansion more often.”
“We do,” I retorted with a coy smile. “Or did you mean for actual swimming?”
“Stoooopppp,” the succubus pleaded jokingly as she splashed me with some water.
“Two can play at that game,” Eligor announced, “but once I get involved, it’s not a game others can win.”
The blonde knight was taking the more subtle approach by climbing down the ladder cautiously. Her ass was jutted out as she moved, and it jiggled with each rung she descended. Finally, Eligor was in the water.
She swam over to us and then gave me a mischievous look as I saw lime green appear under the water.
“Don’t you dare,” I warned her. “If you so much as--”
Before I could finish my warning, a huge splash of water rose up and then crashed down on Liby and me. It knocked us completely underneath the surface, but only for a moment.
I popped back up, shook the dampness from my hair, and then gave Eligor a dirty look.
“What?” she purred. “It looked like you guys were having fun, so I wanted to join in.”
“What about Vidia?” Liby asked aloud. “Isn’t she coming?”
“Yeah, yeah,” the Sister of Envy grumbled as she climbed down the ladder into the pool. “I’m here. But it isn’t gonna be pretty.”
The second the gothic succubus’ skin touched the water, seemingly endless amounts of white makeup was washed off her body and pooled in the water around her. As it washed away, I could finally see Invidia’s true skin tone.
She was still a bit pale compared to her sisters, but it was nothing like what I had come to expect from the Sister of Envy. Invidia must have been uncomfortable at my gaze, because she began to fidget and look at the ground.
“I’m sorry,” she apologized, “I was afraid this would happen.”
“What do you mean?” I asked as I stepped forward and placed my hand on her face tenderly. “You still look sexy as fuck.”
“Really?” Vidia perked up at my words. “Even without the makeup?”
“Even without the makeup,” I confirmed. “You could never not be beautiful to me, Vidia.”
The Sister of Envy looked down at her reflection in the water, almost as if she were pondering something. Then she shook her head, took a deep breath, and disappeared beneath the surface. She reemerged only a second or two later, and I let out an audible gasp of surprise.
The water had washed away all of the makeup on her face, and it was like seeing Invidia for the first time all over again. Gone was her dark eyeliner. The white makeup she normally wore on her face had also washed away, along with the black lipstick she always painted on her mouth. Now, I could see Invidia in all her glory, and she was well aware of that.
She was more beautiful without her makeup. A hundred times more so, and I felt my head spin when I looked at her.
“D-Do you still think I’m beautiful?” she asked bashfully.
“Fuck yes!” I shot back and then leaned in for a kiss.
We made out for a solid minute before I realized we were in public, and if we kept going, we were going to be doing a lot more than kissing.
As I moved away from the succubus, I let out a long sigh.
“This is the fucking life.” I smiled at the women in the pool. “Maybe if we ever come back to Earth Realm for an extended period of time, I can buy one of these things and take everybody out.”
“That would be wonderful!” Liby agreed. “But where would we get that sort of money?”
“The Velvet Lips is still going pretty well,” I conceded, “at least, that’s what Metatron told me the last time we talked. I’m sure we could scrounge up enough profits to make it work.”
“Wait … ” Invidia mused, “didn’t you say you lived in Arizona? Where are you gonna find a place for a yacht in Arizona?”
“We’re only a few hours’ drive from California,” I suggested. “Maybe I just buy a spot in one of those giant ports? You know, where all the rich people keep their boats. I think if I--”
Suddenly, a brilliant ray of dark blue Hellfire blasted up from the port side of the ship.
My heart skipped a beat as I stared at the luminous sapphire in the sky, and then I looked at my friends knowingly.
“Isn’t that the signal?” Eligor asked rhetorically.
“It sure is,” I growled as I began to head toward the ladder. “Who’s ready to go kill some Demon Lords?”
Chapter 2
The four of us hurried out of the pool, dried ourselves off with a quick blast of red Hellfire, and then started to run toward the direction of Cupi’s signal. It had come from somewhere on the port side of the ship, and it looked like it was down on one of the lower levels.
I ran toward the side of the boat, summoned purple Hellfire into my hands, and then jumped over the edge. At the same time, I threw down a series of descending platforms, and I didn’t halt my momentum as I dashed down them. I saw Cupiditas was standing down on the lowest level deck of the ship, so I followed my makeshift pathway down, jumped over the railing, and landed on the hard wood of the floor with a thud.
“Using your powers in front of all these mortals?” The succubus clicked her tongue and shook her head. “I remember a time where you told us that was a big no-no.”
“It still is,” I reminded her, “but we’re out in the open sea, and everyone is trapped on this ship. Liby will just erase all their memories before we leave. Besides, what’s about to go down is going to be ten times worse than what they just saw.”
“So, where are they?” Eligor demanded as she fluttered down on her dark angel wings. “Where are Beelzebub’s last Demon Lords?”
Invidia and Libidine were right behind the Great Knight of Hell, carried by their own butterfly and bat-like appendages.
I heard a loud series of huffs come from my right, and then I turned to see human Todd barreling toward us looking like an anime character. His hat was trailing behind his head as he ran, and his red Hawaiian shirt fluttered off his body like a cape. Meanwhile, he took long, awkward strides and pumped his arms in an overexaggerated fashion.
“Sorry about that, bro,” he panted as he slid to a stop and tried to catch his breath. “It’s been so long since I’ve had to run with these spindly human legs. I was never good at cardio to begin with, but fuck.”
“Duglot and Loras are down in the ballroom,” Cupi explained. “There’s some sort of social dance going on in there right now, and they think surrounding themselves with innocent people is going to protect them. But they’re dead wrong.”
“Did they see you?” I questioned.
“No,” the blonde confirmed, “my incantation was performed far enough away that they were none the wiser. Their disguises are quite clever, as well. They’re pretending to be an elderly couple, probably telling everyone they’re out enjoying retirement or some bullshit excuse like that.”
“Ohhhhh,” Todd giggled gleefully. “I got to punch out Crazy Eyes’ toddler, and now I get to lay the smackdown on a pair of old fogeys?”
“I think you’re a little too excited about this, bro,” I chuckled.
“What can I say?” The disguised blond imp shrugged. “Becoming a demon has let me play out some really, rrreeaaalllly fucked up power fantasies I have. And the worst thing is, those aren’t even my worst. Did I ever tell you about--”
“We’re gonna leave it right there,” I silenced the imp with a wave of my hand. “Save it for Ira. I’m sure she’d love to hear all about it.”
“I’ve tried, bro,” Todd admitted. “She always stops me. Something about how they’re too hardcore even for her.”
I didn’t even want to think about the implication of Todd’s words, so I turned my attention back to the mission at hand.
“So, how do we isolate them?” I questioned. “They might not be able to hide behind innocent people forever, but they definitely had the right idea. We can’t just go in there guns blazing.”
“Could we pick them up with green Hellfire?” Libidine asked. “That would isolate them pretty damn quickly.”
“I like the idea,” I agreed, “but it would be next to impossible to get a clear shot at them in a crowd like that. I’m a pretty good marksman with my magic, but not that good.”
“What about Libdine’s concussive daggers?” Cupi suggested. “With the right placement, we could knock everybody in the room down onto their ass, run over to our targets, and take them out before they could retaliate.”
“Still too risky,” I sighed. “Even if everybody’s disoriented and on the ground, they’re all still clumped together. There could still be innocent people caught in the crossfire.”
“Why doesn’t Elvira just sneak up behind ‘em and then hit ‘em with the ‘ol death touch?” Todd proposed. “They’ll be knocked out quicker than a babe who accidentally steps in the way of my swinging hog of a schlong.”
“That’s not a bad idea,” I conceded to the imp. “Do they know what Invidia looks like?”
“Of course not,” Vidia chuckled. “I never leave my room, remember? It was that way even for all those years when Azazel was around.”
“Also,” Eligor spoke up, “the Demon Kings generally don’t pay much attention to each other’s succubi. Hell, I don’t think they even know their names outside of the select few who are Madames.”
“That may be our ticket then,” I agreed. “But won’t she stand out like a sore thumb in her bikini?”
“It’s a cruise, bro,” Todd argued, “there’s nothing in there but trucks, jorts, and slightly untucked button-ups galore. Nobody’s gonna pay any mind to a woman in a string bikini.”
I thought it over to see if there was any other way. It would have been a million times easier to go in there and fight them head-on, but that would have been beyond reckless. At the same time, I didn’t want to send a single Demon Lord in there to take on two opponents on her own.
Vidia must have understood what was going on in my brain, because she stepped forward and gave me a reassuring nod.
“I’ll be fine, Jacob,” she promised. “I’m a Demon Lord now. They’ll both be out before they even know what hit them.”
“Let’s hope so,” I finally agreed. “Shall we?”
The five of us gave each other looks of determination before we sauntered around the deck to the main entrance of the ballroom. We walked down the stairs gracefully in a line as we tried to look like the most badass motley crew around.
The ballroom looked pretty standard for a mid-tier cruise. There were two brilliant crystal chandeliers on the ceiling in the center of the room, and the rest of the place was illuminated by a series of smaller, less elegant fixtures that sat on the wall in six-foot intervals. There was a stage all the way at the other side of the room, where a frumpy, middle-aged woman stood at the microphone and belted out tunes from the eighties, all while people danced awkwardly on the floor in front of her. Around the perimeter of the dance floor was carpeted ground littered with small, two-person tables, leather couches, and the occasional cocktail table.
The entire place was packed. It was the perfect place for a Demon Lord to hide in plain sight. Unfortunately for them, we had spellmaster Cupi on our side.
“It’s those two,” the blonde succubus hissed as she pointed out onto the dance floor.
There, at the very center of the masses, was an elderly couple who were dancing happily to the rhythms of Whitney Houston. The old man was clad in a flamboyant yellow shirt dotted with flamingos, while his wife had on a pink Hawaiian shirt and a hot pink straw hat.
“Dude looks like a lady,” Todd whistled. “You sure that’s them?”
“That’s them, alright,” the Sister of Greed confirmed. “The Apocalypsis augurium doesn’t lie.”
“So, we’re really sitting up here watching two dudes dance?” the imp asked comically. “Gaaaaayyyyyy.”
“Alright, Vidia,” I nodded to the gothic succubus as we stepped off the last stair, “you ready?”
“It’ll be a piece of cake,” the succubus promised with a slight chuckle.
Invidia summoned the faintest flicker of silver Hellfire into her hands and then wandered off into the crowd.
We all watched with bated breath as she pushed through throngs of vacationers and drunken couples breaking it down on the dance floor. Finally, the Sister of Envy came up behind the elderly couple.
“I really hope that’s them,” Todd whispered. “Or else Elvira’s about to cut their retirement plans really, really short.”
I took a deep breath as I saw Vidia’s second hand light up with silver Hellfire.
The second she did so, the elderly couple stopped dancing, and their bodies went tense, almost as if they sensed her approaching.
I didn’t like this one bit.
“Cupi?” I asked urgently. “What’s going on?”
“I-I don’t know,” she admitted.
As the Sister of Envy reached up to grab the two disguised Demon Lords, they jumped forward so they were just out of her grasp. Then they whipped around, summoned red Hellfire into their hands, and tried to blast her at point-blank range.
Thankfully, I was too quick for them.
I tossed up a shield of purple Hellfire between the two parties, and their attack spread across my barrier as if it were covered in gasoline.
“They must have sensed her attack coming,” Cupi gasped.
“Did they just cast ‘detect magic?’” Todd pondered aloud. “I kept telling my DM it wasn’t a worthless spell!”
The entire ballroom went silent for a moment as the people tried to take in what they were seeing. Then they all began to run away in a screaming panic.
“So much for being subtle,” I sighed and made a motion with my enchanted violet hands.
I created three more large purple barriers around the elderly couple so they were trapped in a box. Next, I called on my passionate emotions to cast a layer or red flames on the inside of the cube, and then I began to shrink it around the couple.
The demon disguised as the old woman suddenly clapped her hands together, lit them up with a glow of lime green, and then watched as they began to transform.
The skin on each fist turned from a pale cream-color to a much darker, almost grayish shade. Likewise gone was the fleshy texture, replaced by a rigid, rocky material that looked like it was made out of pure stone.
The old woman hauled back, growled loudly, and then punched the side of the cube as hard as she could.
Even though I was all the way across the room, I felt the impact of the blow. The shockwave knocked me down on one knee, and it took everything I had to keep my barrier up. This wasn’t going to last forever, so we needed to make a move quickly.
“Plan B, guys!” I ordered the rest of my team. “When I give the order, hit ‘em hard.”
“But the innocents!” Liby protested.
“I’ll take care of them,” I reassured the Sister of Lust.
I deactivated the red Hellfire from my barriers, took a deep breath, and then changed their trajectory. Instead of closing in on the two targets, they moved outward and away, acting like the cow catcher of a train.
Only, instead of runaway cattle, I was gently pushing away the innocent civilians.
“Now!” I commanded as soon as there was a big enough gap between the humans and the two Demon Lords.
“This is gonna be fun!” Todd cackled. “But first … ”
The imp began to whistle the retro Wonder Woman theme song, and then he twirled around rapidly on his heels. As he twisted, his skin began to bubble like it was water being boiled, and then his limbs began to contract, and
his hair began to disappear. When he finally stopped his momentum, he was back in his imp form, though he was still wearing the same ridiculous outfit.
“Whoa,” he muttered as he wobbled and tried not to fall, “I don’t know how she can fight crime all the time with this fucking vertigo. Maybe her tits give her better balance or something.”
The imp stumbled forward, surrounded his body with black Hellfire, and then sprang into action.
At the same time, Invidia sprang back up onto her feet and tossed her double-sided dagger like a boomerang. The Hellfire-enchanted weapon hurled across the dancefloor toward the two demon fuckers, but the old woman was quick to knock it away.
“Hey, Grandpa?” Todd mocked as he drew closer and summoned silver Hellfire into his hands. “Wanna get high?”
The imp threw out his arm to blast the demon with his disorientation spell, but the old man was too fast.
Todd’s body was lit up by a massive, lightning-bolt shaped beam of yellow Hellfire, and the room was filled with the loud sizzle of electricity. The imp shook violently and rapidly as his electrified body was tossed across the dance floor. He finally rolled to a stop at our feet, but the sparks were still dancing off him in all directions.
“W-Wonder Wooooomaannn,” he coughed weakly.
“Elemental and electric powers,” I confirmed to my friends as we watched Invidia dodge another bolt of electricity and then flip over the incoming fists of the old woman. “I think I’ve got an idea.”
“Couldn’t you have had an idea like, ten seconds ago, bro?” Todd grumbled as he stood up, brushed the dirt off his shoulder, and then looked sadly at his destroyed straw hat.
“Liby, I want you to use your powers to get everybody back into their quarters,” I ordered the Sister of Lust. “Once they’re down there safely, you can get back up here and join the fight.”
“If we haven’t dispatched them already by then,” Eligor mused somewhat cockily, and then she jumped into the fray.
“Gotta love Goldilocks,” Todd sighed before he dashed off to join her.
“We’ve gotta use their own powers against them,” I instructed the remaining succubi. “It looks like the old lady--”