by Eric Vall
“That’s not what I meant at all,” I protested, but Mirage was already giggling.
“It’s alright,” she shrugged, “he can ‘throttle my clam’ whenever and wherever he wants. But for now, I know you’ve got more interviews to do. Call me.”
The brunette smiled, and then she disappeared into a puff of green smoke.
“Wait … ” Sia questioned. “Was she projecting herself all the way from the First Circle? And interacting with physical objects while she did so?”
“It wouldn’t surprise me,” I speculated, “like I said, her powers are amazing.”
“Fuck, bro,” Todd mused. “We only got nine left. I would have liked an even ten, but nine will work for what’s coming next.”
“Do I even want to--”
Todd snapped his fingers, and suddenly a large group of Shades hurried out into the War Room, each one pushing a cart. Some of the carts contained hot plates, mixers, and other various kitchen utensils. Others had large containers full of basic ingredients such as flour, onions, and tomatoes.
I did a gagging double take when I saw a container full of shrimp. I didn’t even want to ask if those were the same ones from yesterday.
“Let me guess,” Sia pondered as she rubbed her temples, “a cooking competition?”
“Fuck yeah!” Todd cackled as his suit turned into a chef’s coat. “We’re about to Masterchef this bitch. But we’re totally doing the American version.”
“Let me guess,” I chuckled as a Shade placed a chef’s coat over my shoulders, “you’re gonna be the angry British dude?”
“You’re goddamn bloody right I am!” Todd shouted. “I have to make sure these wankers don’t send out the chicken still fucking clucking!”
The imp in the chef’s coat stood atop the table as the final nine succubi entered the room.
“Alright,” he announced, “listen up, all of you newbies. Today, your task is to create the greatest fucking dish you possibly can, given the ingredients before you. You all have thirty minutes, and the three of us will be coming around to check on you as you go. The winner is going to get a spot in the final round of interviews for becoming Jacob Ralston’s newest Demon Lords. Ready? Begin!”
The succubi all looked at each other with confusion stretched across their faces.
“Did I say tomorrow, ladies?” Todd barked. “Let’s get to cooking!”
The girls stared at the imp in shock, but then they began to run around and tie aprons around their naked bodies.
“Uh, Todd?” I questioned. “Are we really gonna have to eat this stuff? Having a bunch of naked women cooking your food is hot and all, but isn’t it a little unsanitary?”
“I count at least seven health code violations, just from what I’m seeing,” Superbia shuddered.
“Don’t be dense,” the imp shot back. “It’s all for good show. Now, let’s get out there and prod ‘em on, shall we?”
I walked around to the first few succubi and observed them carefully. However, instead of trying to test out their food or give them pointers on their technique, I interviewed them as traditionally as I possibly could.
“So, you can talk to plants?” I questioned one of the women with green hair as she prepared a piece of steak in a cast-iron skillet.
“Sure do.” She grinned happily. “You wouldn’t believe the kind of things that they--”
“It’s fucking raw!” Todd screamed as he knocked a plate out of one of the succubi’s hands.
“It’s … it’s a salad,” the woman protested, but the imp was already moving on to his next target.
“Right,” I chuckled and then turned back to the succubus I was talking to. “So, what kind of advantage could that give me in battle?”
“I’m not sure,” she admitted, “but it’s really neat, isn’t it?”
I half-heartedly agreed with the woman before I moved on to the next one.
As I approached the apron-clad succubus, I felt my heart flutter away in my chest.
The succubus was humming a happy tune as she stirred away at a bowl of dough. She had one naked foot raised happily in the air, and her wild, red hair cascaded down behind her head like a shawl. The woman’s eyes were large and dark, with a pair of crisp, thin eyebrows above them. Her cheekbones looked like they had been chiseled out of marble, as did her feminine nose and thick, red lips.
The apron she was wearing clung to her busty chest like a wet blanket, and her curvy little ass popped out from behind the fabric almost as if it were taunting me.
Holy fuck. Damn the interviews, I wanted to seal the deal with this woman right there on the spot.
“Whatcha making there?” I asked as I tried to initiate conversation with the beautiful woman.
“Just some churros,” the redhead explained as she kneaded the dough vigorously.
She took a handful of the dough out of the dish, rolled it between her fingers, and then shaped them into long logs. As her delicate hands moved around the long, thick churros, I couldn’t help but imagine this woman’s hands wrapped around my cock.
The succubus must have noticed my gawking, because she stopped what she was doing and gave me a sideways glance.
“Oh, I, uh--churros, huh?” I tried to catch myself. “I love Italian food.”
The redhead raised an eyebrow at me and chuckled.
“You’re just as funny as I’ve heard,” she giggled. “So much better than the other Demon Kings. They’ve all got their head so far up their asses that they could taste their own tongues.”
“Ohhhh, you’ve got attitude,” I shot back. “I like it. Where are you from?”
“My name is Eve,” she explained, “I’m from the--”
“What the fuck is this?” Todd shouted from across the “kitchen.” “This looks like my grandma’s diaper after a bad bout of the flu!”
“Is your friend always this … animated?” Eve asked as she made an exaggerated face.
“He’s hamming it up for the interview,” I explained. “He’s always animated and mischievous, but he’s normally not this angry. That’s just his Ramsey impression talking.”
“How’s it going over here?” Sia asked as she walked over to where we were standing. “Have you made it around to all the succubi yet?”
“Sia, this is Eve,” I introduced the two redheads to each other.
“Eve?” Superbia questioned coyly as she shook the succubus’ hand. “Whoever named you must have had a devilish sense of humor.”
“I come from the Seventh Circle,” Eve shrugged, “so yeah, you kinda need a messed-up sense of humor just to survive out there.”
“You’re betraying Abaddon?” I gulped. “Aren’t you, like, afraid of what he’ll do to you if he finds out?”
“My former master has other fish to fry,” the redhead explained. “He’s currently fighting a war on two fronts, between Gressil in the Sixth Circle and Beelzebub in the Eighth. I doubt he’s even realized I’m gone.”
“I don’t see how anyone could overlook you,” I blurted out before I could stop myself.
Eve looked at me with a wicked smile on her face, almost as if she had caught me in a word trap.
One thing was for sure, this woman was used to being complimented, and she soaked up every second of it.
“So, the Seventh Circle is in an all-out war?” Sia questioned. “I knew Abbadon was pushing back against Beelzebub and his forces, but I wasn’t aware the situation had become that dire.”
“It’s bad,” Eve noted. “That’s why I got out of there while I could. Abbadon might be psycho, but at least he’s unpredictable. There’s a chance he might treat you well if he likes you. Meanwhile, Beelzebub is, well, predictable crazy. I know what he’d do to me if he took over, and I don’t want that at all.”
“So, that’s why you came to me?” I asked in a flirty tone. “You wanted the new, badass King of the Fourth Circle to protect you? And treat you right and make you a Demon Lord?”
“Perhaps,” Eve giggled.
“We’ll have to see how good my food is, won’t we?”
“That’s not the only thing I want to know the quality of,” I added.
“Oh?” The redhead smiled flirtatiously, and a rush of embarrassment rushed over my face as I realized what that sounded like.
“Well, yeah,” I tried to catch myself, “your powers.”
“Of course,” Eve shot back, but her tone of voice said she was thinking otherwise. “Do you have anything with a life force that you don’t particularly care for?”
“That’s an oddly specific question to ask,” Sia answered skeptically.
“What do you mean by ‘life force?’” I tried to wrap my brain around what she was asking. “Anything that’s alive?”
“Precisely,” Eve continued, “a plant, an animal, anything that is living.”
“Would a Shade work?” I said as I motioned for one of the workers to come over. “They were all technically alive once.”
“Close enough.” The redhead shrugged. “Now, if you don’t mind…”
Without warning, Eve grabbed the Shade’s right hand and slammed it down as hard as she could onto the flames on her stove. He let out a shriek of pain as his flesh was burned from his bones, but the sounds quickly subsided. The Shade stood there in awe as he looked down on his hand, which was now aglow in silver Hellfire.
Eve released her grip on the man, and he whipped his hand away and inspected it in a panic.
There were no burns.
“See?” she giggled. “The cells inside of his hand were being killed, burned away by a deadly flame. Yet, I brought them back from the brink, and he’s as good as new.”
“So, you heal?” Sia continued to try and pin the powers down.
“No, my friend,” Eve corrected, “I manipulate life. At least, partially. I couldn’t bring somebody back from the dead or anything like that, but I could use my powers to regenerate cells or re-start a stopped heart. Also, I can wilt and resuscitate flora at will.”
“That’s pretty fucking cool,” I whistled, but then Superbia tapped me on the shoulder and nodded to the other nearby succubi.
As much as I wanted to stay there and keep talking to the beautiful woman, I needed to at least give the rest of the succubi a shot. So, I bade farewell to Eve and continued on with Sia.
“What do you think of that one?” Superbia asked as soon as we were outside of Eve’s earshot. “Personally, I like her attitude, but I must admit I’m on the fence about her powers.”
“What’s not to love?” I questioned. “She can fucking bring people back from the brink of death. It’d be like having a second healer in the group, and lord knows we can use as many of those as possible. Also, imagine that we were going up against somebody with elemental ground magic. She could kill any of their entangling vines without so much as blinking an eye.”
“You’re using ‘destroying vines’ as an argument?” Sia chuckled. “You must really like her.”
“It’s a valid point, and you know it,” I retorted.
We went around to the rest of the succubi and mulled over their creations as we interviewed them. Most of their food looked delicious, but I refused to try any of it, especially the dishes that used shrimp. Finally, when all was said and done, Sia and I walked back up to the front of the room and stood patiently with our hands behind our backs.
Todd finished up by telling one of the succubi that her dish was “zippity-doo-dah-dog crap” before he sauntered up and joined us.
“Alright, everyone,” the Toddster called everyone to attention, “time is up. Show us what you got.”
Each one of the nine girls walked up, placed their plates on the table in front of us, and then stood behind them with concern on their faces.
Much to my dismay, Todd went around and tried each and every single dish. They must have not been as bad as he initially thought, because he made sure to savor each bite. When he got to Eve’s churros, he devoured the entire thing with a single gulp, smacked his lips happily, and patted his stomach.
“Now this right here,” he exclaimed in a Ramsey voice, “this right here is the best fucking dish I’ve had in weeks. A plus to this woman!”
The rest of the group clapped, and Eve took in the adoration of the crowd as if it were second nature. Finally, Todd stuck up his hand, and everyone went silent.
He finished testing the rest of the dishes before he floated back over to us, landed on the table, and grinned ear to ear.
“What do you think, Master Chef?” I chuckled.
“First off,” Todd started in his real voice as he faced the succubi, “I just wanna say I am so, sooooo sorry for being a dick. Like, I totally just wanted to make this an authentic experience with the whole ‘insult you till you cry’ thing, but now I feel like total shit. In fact, each and every thing that went into my mouth was fucking incredible, and I’d give you all a gold star if I could. That’s why I’m gonna defer to my partners in crime here. What do you think, Strawberry Shortcake?”
“It’s a toss-up,” Sia admitted, “but I think we’re going to go with the tried but true churro. Congratulations, Eve.”
The group applauded once again, and the redhead gave us a little bow. She popped back up in an extremely happy mood and then ran up to shake all of our hands while the rest of the group filed out.
“So, does this mean I have the job?” she questioned excitedly.
“Not yet,” I explained, “but it does mean you’re on to the final round.”
“Which is … ?” Eve pleaded as she batted her dark eyes at me.
“We’re going to discuss it as soon as we have a moment,” Sia confirmed. “We will let you know as soon as we know.”
The redheaded succubus stepped back, removed her apron, and then playfully tossed it to the side. I only caught a glimpse of her full glory before she whipped around and pranced back off into the hallway.
“So, we’ve got it down to five,” I announced as soon as the door swung shut. “Deja, Eclipse, Inpulsa, Mirage, and Eve.”
“That sounds like quite the team,” Sia admitted. “I wouldn’t be surprised if all five of them make it through the final round.”
“Sounds like a punk rock girl band to me,” Todd snickered, “I love it. But what are you gonna have ‘em do, bro?”
“Something that involves team-building.” I shrugged. “If they want to hang around with us, they need to realize we function as one large, well-oiled machine. We fight together, we die together, we eat together, we sleep together. There’s no ‘I’ in team.”
“But there is a ‘me,’ Jakey … ” Todd observed as he rapped on his goatee’d chin.
He had me there.
“Either way,” I continued as if I hadn’t heard the imp, “we need an exercise that has real stakes, but nothing that’s too difficult.”
“So, sending ‘em after Beelzebub is out of the question,” Todd confirmed sarcastically. “But we also don’t want the Dream Team fighting unkillable Shades in the coliseum.”
“Unfortunately, in a place like Hell, there aren’t a ton of healthy mediums,” Sia muttered. “It’s too hierarchical. Everything is either extremely weak or extremely powerful.”
Then it hit me. Vargrats.
“What if I took them on a mission to the Hunter’s Plains?” I asked aloud. “That would actually tell us a lot about the newbies. It’s pitch black out there, and it is infested with Vargrats. They aren’t much of a danger to us, but they’re still not something you want to fuck around with.”
“That sounds like it would be a most excellent training exercise.” Superbia nodded. “Sister Gula would be happy, too. She hasn’t been able to make a good Vargrat stew in months.”
“It’s settled, then,” I replied and pulled off my chef’s coat. “Todd, I want you to call those five succubi back in and tell them the great news.”
“I’ll give it a few hours,” the imp declared. “Make ‘em wait a little bit before I break the excellent news and leave them all wanti
ng more.”
“Sounds like a plan,” I agreed and headed for the door. “Great work, guys. And Sia?”
The redheaded madame perked up when I said her name.
“Yes, Jacob?” she asked hopefully.
“Follow me,” I ordered. “There are some urgent matters I want to attend to in my chambers.”
Chapter 4
“Urgent matters?” Superbia couldn’t help but giggle as we made our way through the hallways of the castle. “These ‘urgent matters’ wouldn’t happen to involve your libido, would they?”
“That depends,” I retorted with a quirked eyebrow. “Being around all those hot, naked women for the last two hours has got me all excited. Now, I can totally find one of the other girls to help out if you’d like, but I figured since you were right here … ”
“And since you seem to have redheads on the mind,” Sia observed as she walked in front of me, grabbed my hand, and began to lead me.
“A beautiful woman is a beautiful woman,” I joked, “I saw you looking at her, too.”
“Perhaps when she becomes your new Demon Lord, we can invite her up to our chambers with us?” the madame purred, and my cock grew hard in my pants.
“Don’t get me started yet,” I bemoaned. “It’s hard to walk with this thing.”
Sia and I were now almost running toward the bedroom, and we couldn’t get there fast enough. The second we threw open the door, we were on each other like two teenagers in a dark movie theater.
The madame’s soft, thin lips pressed firmly against my own as her tongue slid into my mouth, and we made out passionately as we closed the door behind us. Without moving my lips away from hers, I reached down, grabbed Sia on the back of her thighs, and lifted her up into the air.
She let out a gasp of surprise as she was lifted, but then I felt her heart begin to hammer through her shirt with anticipation.
I walked us over to the bed, tossed her down onto it aggressively, and then began to fumble with my armor. It was normally a somewhat convoluted process, but I made sure it was off in a matter of minutes.
Meanwhile, Superbia was getting the party started. The redheaded madame reached down with her right hand, slid it up the bottom of her dress, and then began to finger herself deeply. She let out a deep moan as I pulled my undershirt over my head, and the sound made my erection grow so big I thought it was going to tear through my pants hulk-style.