Newlywed Games
Page 21
Father, how do I help her understand?
Tell the truth, son.
He sighed. Of course. There had been too many lies for too long. Help me do this right.
“Meg, I never meant to mislead you. Or anyone. I just didn’t see any reason to announce to everyone that I was the owner of the hotel, or that I was a multimillionaire. Both of my parents came from money. And for some reason, my grandfather decided to leave the bulk of his estate to me. At the time, I was thrilled. I took that money and made more money.”
She nodded in understanding. But could she truly understand? He had hurt her with his deception. He wanted to correct that, but how? Once trust was broken it was not easily mended.
“I should have been straight with everyone. Especially with you. But I was afraid…and it was easier to pretend I was just like everyone else. Just a guy working at a job he liked, doing his best to make a living. So I took the easy way out. It wasn’t right, but I did it.”
She met his gaze. He knew she understood that part of it, at least. Wasn’t that very fact what had gotten them into the mess they were in?
“Was I just stupid not to notice you were rich?” She gave a self-deprecating laugh. “And I worried you could be into something illegal.”
She’d worried about him? That was good, wasn’t it? “No, you are not stupid. You were distracted by your mom’s illness.”
“That’s not all I was distracted by,” she muttered.
“What was that?”
She huffed out a breath. “Nothing.”
“Did you really think I was doing something illegal?”
“Well, not really. It didn’t seem to fit you, but I didn’t know how else you could afford all that stuff.”
They sat in awkward silence for a few minutes, then Bruce turned to her. “Do you want to go back now?”
“No.”
At the soft word, his hopes plummeted. She wasn’t coming back? She was leaving? But how would he work all of this out if she didn’t—
“But I will.”
Relief swept him and he met her gaze.
“I don’t want to go back there. I’m tired of the charade, tired of the lies. But you were right when you said we couldn’t back out now. As much as I don’t want to do this, I realize I can’t just leave you in the lurch with your family. It’s my fault we’re in this—”
He started to protest, and she held her hand up.
“So the least I can do is play it out as long as your parents are here.”
She stood and headed solemnly to his car. It was as though the whole thing had ripped the life, the spirit, out of her. He wanted to wrap her in his arms and make her smile again.
But at least she was coming back with him. That meant he had time. Time to be with her, time to talk with her, time to let her see he could be trusted. His task was enormous, but he would give it all he had. He would win her over before his family left.
He may have three strikes against him, but he wasn’t out yet.
Twenty-Three
THE FOLLOWING EVENING, BROCK STEPPED OUT ONTO THE balcony where Meghann gazed out at the city lights. She’d come out to soak in the sights, determined to enjoy this panoramic picture—the majestic mountains to the west and the city lights glimmering to the north and east while the opportunity lasted.
Heaven knew she wouldn’t see it again when this was over.
After a quick scan of the horizon, Brock turned and leaned his back against the rail. “Pretty impressive.” Though he spoke of the view, he stood studying her.
“I’m going to go in now,” Meghann said, uncomfortable with him staring at her.
“Don’t run off on my account.” He covered her hand with his. She tried to pull away, but he held fast to her and wouldn’t let go, even when she tried to jerk free of him.
“Meghann, you are one beautiful woman,” he said in a low, husky voice as his thumb caressed the back of her hand.
She looked up at him startled and yanked her hand from his grasp. What was wrong with him?
“Excuse me,” she said, her voice cold. But before she could walk away, he caught her, pulling her back, trapping her against the rail with one hand on each side of her, caging her in.
“So, it’s not me, eh?” His expression changed from endearing to a critical scrutiny. “Is it another man, perhaps?”
“What?” She kept her hands braced against his chest, providing some kind of barrier…though he wasn’t pushing forward.
“I know it’s not my brother’s money, because you didn’t even know he had any, did you?”
She shook her head. “Of course not!” What was he talking about?
“Or are you that good of an actress?”
The man was insane. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Let me go.”
“Something is not right here.” Brock’s words were cold, exacting. “I’ve seen it in Bruce’s eyes.”
“Well, bully for you. Why don’t you go ask him, then?”
But for all of her bravado, Meg’s heart sank. First her mother had seen things were not right, and now Bruce’s brother was picking up on it. Trapped in her own lie, she felt defeated.
“It’s there in his eyes, distrust. I thought maybe it was me, but you don’t seem to be attracted to me. Or are you just playing at some kind of game?”
What had gotten into him? He was being ridiculous. “Let me go!” She pushed on his arm to escape, to no avail.
He held tightly to the rail. “Not until you tell me why Bruce doesn’t trust you. I won’t let you hurt my brother and get away with it.” Meg stared at him, her mouth dropping open. So Brock really did care about his older brother. Oh, if only she could tell him the truth…tell him she loved Bruce with all her heart, that she’d never hurt him, that she was dying inside because she knew she’d never be with him.
But she held her silence. She’d promised Bruce not to say anything, and she wouldn’t go back on that. All she could do was stare up at him, grasping for something to say to him to make him release her.
His gaze bore into hers. “What have you done to lose my brother’s trust?”
“You don’t have to answer that.” Bruce’s dark voice made them both jump.
Meghann looked from Bruce, who stood in the doorway, to Brock. The younger brother dropped his hands, then stepped aside. Bruce glared at the back of Brock’s head.
Brother against brother. And she was the cause.
“I lied.” The whispered admission came out before she could stop it.
Brock’s expression changed from condemning to a surprised questioning. Before she gave herself away any further, she moved away from him, heading for the French doors and her escape. Bruce stopped her with a light touch on her arm. She waited, and he lifted her face until her eyes met his. “I do trust you.”
How? After lies on top of lies, each one eating away at her soul. She could no longer stand herself. No longer trust herself, her integrity. How could Bruce possibly trust her after all the pain she’d caused him?
She searched his eyes for the truth, but it was useless. Sometimes she wondered if she would even know the truth anymore.
She went inside without a word. How could she say anything? How could he believe a word she said after all her deceit?
“How can you say that?”
Bruce turned to face his brother, pondering his frustrated question.
“Your wife just admitted lying. How can you trust her?”
“I understand why she did what she did.” His patience was wearing thin with his brother. He saw the way Brock had Meg trapped against the rail.
“You’re defending her, condoning her actions?”
He drew in a calming breath. “I’m neither condoning nor defending, only understanding.”
“But trusting her? That is unwise, brother.”
His use of the term brother rankled Bruce. “I’m not going to discuss Meghann with you,” he snapped and turned to leave but stopped when Brock threw
another curt statement at him.
“How does lying fit in with your religion? Your so-called faith?”
Bruce clenched his fists. Leave it to Brock to cut to the heart of the matter. It didn’t. It never had, and he should have known that. Should have known lying wasn’t the way to help Meg, no matter how right it felt at the moment.
Lord, I’ve been a fool.
Tell the truth, son. Help Meg do the same.
Fear pierced him. I’ll lose her. She would leave before he had the time to make things right between them.
Tell the truth.
We’ve got so much at stake. Her mother…my family…their trust in You.
That can’t be based on a lie.
But could it be destroyed by one? That was the question he couldn’t get past.
“I’ve seen distrust in your eyes.” Brock said to his back.
Bruce flexed his fists. He wanted to continue on through the doors and leave his brother standing there alone. But his lack of trust was not directed toward Meghann, and he was loathe to go on letting Brock believe it was. Maybe it was time to let his younger brother know the source of his distrust.
Fine. If Brock wanted a confrontation, he would have one. It was long overdue. Bruce reached out to close the doors and swung around.
“You are the one I don’t trust, Brock.”
Amazement filled his brother’s features. And confusion. “Me? What have I done?”
Bruce glared at his little brother. “Valerie.” Bruce had dated a woman, Valerie Synclair, for a short time just after he had become a Christian two years ago. They had helped each other over some bumps in the transition from worldly to godly lifestyles.
“That was not my doing.” Brock’s tone was hard. “It was her.”
“It takes two to tango, as they say. You were attracted to her. Don’t deny it.”
“Yes. I was attracted to her. But I never acted on that attraction. Not once. I can’t help my feelings, Bruce. You can’t condemn me for them!”
“She left me for you. She told me so.”
“And she got nothing. I wouldn’t have her. Couldn’t trust her. If she dropped you so easily, why not me, too?”
Bruce stood there, watching his brother’s face, weighing his words…and felt his anger begin to wane. Was it true? Had he been so hurt over Valerie’s rejection that he’d laid the blame on Brock without reason? “I thought…I always assumed you two dated for a while and you just chose not to mention it.”
Even as he spoke, Bruce began to understand. Losing Valerie had been hard. He’d really cared about her. But the worst part of it all had been thinking Brock had betrayed him.
Brock stepped toward him. “I know we fought, all kids do, but I always thought we were close. I knew there was a rift between us since Valerie, but I never imagined you thought I actually had something to do with the breakup. I wouldn’t do that to you, Bruce. You’re my brother.”
Bruce shook his head. “I’m sorry. I guess I just convinced myself it was true. You were always tagging along and doing whatever I did while we were growing up. When you were ten, you refused to answer to your own name. You drove everyone crazy, insisting they call you Bruce. It was like you were trying to be me.” He sighed at the memory. “I guess I figured what better way was there for you to do that than to take the woman I cared about?”
Brock looked away self-consciously. “Most of my life I wanted to be like you. I even wanted to be you. I figured if I stuck close to you and did everything you did, some of you might rub off on me, and I would be good enough…”
“Good enough for whom?”
Brock looked at him as though to say, “Who else.” But he didn’t know…and his patience was wearing dangerously thin.
“I’m not the firstborn son, made in his image, who can do no wrong,” Brock said. “All the praise went to you. If he was in a generous mood, the rest of us would get an encouraging word to do better like Bruce.”
Their father? He was talking about their father. True, Ivan Halloway was a hard man who worked hard to get where he was. It hadn’t been easy for Bruce being the oldest. Always expected to do things right. Always expected to meet his father’s standards. He hadn’t realized it was just as hard for his siblings. He thought they had it easy because nothing was expected of them. He had often been envious of their ability to get away with everything. They could do what they wanted without having to account for themselves. He had been under constant scrutiny while their father had basically neglected the others.
“You don’t have to keep striving to please him, Brock.”
“You could do no wrong in his eyes. Even if you did something he disapproved of, like becoming a Christian, it was okay because you were Bruce.”
Was that why Brock worked in their father’s company and stuck so close to him, to gain his approval? “Is that what is keeping you from making a decision for the Lord? Father’s approval? Don’t risk your eternity on his acceptance. He may never change.”
Brock turned from him. “I would be ostracized. You can do no wrong, and Brice is still a ‘foolish’ kid who will grow out of it! I wouldn’t be so lucky.”
“Our father is not an easy man to live with or without.” Bruce said sympathetically.
“I don’t want to talk about this anymore.” Like Mother, he preferred peace to strife.
“Okay, but just let me say one more thing for you to think about. Is temporary acceptance here on earth worth risking eternity in heaven?”
His question was met with silence.
“Don’t wait too long, brother. You never know when tomorrow will be too late.” When Brock remained silent, Bruce turned to leave.
“Bruce?”
He turned. “Yes?”
“Can I ask you a question? About your wife?”
There was caution in his voice, and disappointment in Bruce’s heart. This wasn’t the question he’d been hoping for. “You can ask, but I reserve the right not to answer.”
“Fair enough,” Brock said with a nod. “She said she lied to you. Is that something you can live with?”
“She didn’t say she lied to me, just that she lied.”
“And you can live with that? Doesn’t it bother you?”
It bothered him a lot. Almost as much as his own lies bothered him.
“Yes, it bothers me, but I also understand.” He chose his words carefully. “None of us are perfect. We all make mistakes. We have to forgive one another and help each other to become stronger. Love covers a multitude of sins.”
“You can forgive her, just like that?”
“I have to, or how can I expect my heavenly Father to forgive me? Why do I have the feeling this isn’t about Meg?”
Brock shrugged his shoulders in silence.
“A woman?”
Brock didn’t answer, but Bruce didn’t need affirmation to know he was right. And he was sure he knew which one. “It’s Valerie, isn’t it?”
Brock cringed slightly at Bruce’s guess. “I’ve been thinking about her lately. I don’t know why.”
“Have you talked to her?”
“No!”
“It’s okay, Brock. She’s a nice girl.” He had held on to this for so long, he was surprised and relieved at how easy it was to finally let go. And forgive his brother. “Maybe you should talk to her and see where it leads.”
“But she was your girlfriend,” Brock argued.
“The operative word being was.” He held up his hand with his ring. “I’m a married man now.” At least he felt married. And he intended to make that feeling reality as soon as he could. “I’m certain Valerie and I would have broken up eventually. Our bond was because we were both new Christians in a new church. I have no interest in her, except for where she concerns you.”
“How do I know if I can trust her?” Brock asked.
“You’ll never know if you don’t talk to her. I don’t believe she meant to hurt either one of us. Sometimes you just have to let go and hope you ha
ven’t misplaced your trust.” That sounded like advice he should take. It was time for him to let go…of a lot of things.
“I really do want the best for you. Tell me, Bruce, is my appeal to women so strong that you worry about Meghann, or is your hold on your wife so weak that makes me a threat?”
Both. “I’m only holding on to her by a thread.” Bruce was astonished he was willing to confide in his brother at all. “If it weren’t for her mother visiting, we wouldn’t be together at all.”
“It’s that bad?” Brock’s eyebrows rose. “You can’t tell. You two look like lovebirds.”
“It’s all an illusion. I don’t know what is going to happen when everyone leaves. I don’t want to lose her.”
“Have you told her that? Women like to hear that kind of thing.”
No, he hadn’t told her. Things had been different since the day she’d found out the truth about him. She had become aloof. Most people were attracted to his bank account. She seemed to be repelled by it. But then she was not most people, which was probably why he loved her.
All he had to do was figure out how to let her know that. And how to make her believe it.
The next morning while Meghann was in the kitchen cleaning up after breakfast, Brock came in. She nervously wiped the clean counter to keep busy, wondering what he wanted and hoped he got it fast and left.
“I was hoping we would have a chance to talk.” Brock walked over to her.
Talk? No, she didn’t think that was such a good idea after last night. “I need to.” She put down the dishcloth and turned to leave.
“Please. It will only take a minute. I want to apologize.” He sounded sincere, but she kept her distance.
She slowly sank back against the counter. Her palms suddenly felt sweaty, and she bit her bottom lip.
“I’m sorry for my behavior last night. I acted inappropriately. Bruce explained things to me.”