Alice & Dorothy

by Jw Schnarr

  Did she have a choice?

  No. You don’t pick who you love, she thought. Love picks you. Look away.

  “Of course you can,” Dorothy said, looking up and meeting Alice’s gaze. “You can trust me to the end of the road.”

  Alice leaned over and kissed Dorothy’s ruby lips, full on, their mouths partly open.

  Dorothy didn’t look away. She met Alice’s ice blue eyes, head on, and let the molten heat fill her completely. Love doesn’t look away, she thought. Love goes head on, a hundred and eighty miles per hour with its seatbelt off and screaming to holy hell the entire way. To the end of the road. Dorothy had no idea where that road was headed, but she was willing to go. Fuck the world. We have each other.

  “Come on then,” Alice whispered into Dorothy’s mouth. “Let’s get out of here.”

  Dorothy grabbed her bag, and they went.

  Chapter 28

  Across the street, parked far away from the news anchor but still close enough to see the entire parking lot, Rabbit, Eazy and Devon sat in the silver Grand Am and waited. It had taken Rabbit about two seconds to discern that the yellow Volkswagen in the parking lot was indeed his missing car, and now he felt so close to his heroin he imagined he could smell it’s tangy, pissy stink. His teeth were killing him, throbbing in time to his heart beat, so he lit a joint to smoke.

  “You fuckin crazy?” Eazy waved at the parking lot. “There’s like a homicide investigation goin’ on across the street.”

  “Exactly,” Rabbit said, taking a pull and passing it off. “Across the street.” His nerves in his mouth screamed in protest as hot smoke bathed them in filth, but almost immediately the pain receded. He could taste blood and pot, but there was a pinch of Brown in the joint as well, because it was good to mellow you out.

  The motel door in front of his car opened briefly, and two women made their way to where the VW Rabbit was parked. They didn’t have much of anything with them. The shorter, brunette woman was carrying a bag and what Rabbit thought looked like a black pillow. The blond was driving. The brunette was watching the police cruisers on the far side of the lot. Then she disappeared into the yellow car as well.

  “And here we go,” Rabbit said. He started the car. A moment after the yellow Volkswagen pulled out of the parking lot, Eazy’s silver Grand Am came out of the lot across the street and slid in smoothly behind it.

  Chapter 29

  A few hours and several motels later, Alice and Dorothy weren’t any closer to finding a place to stay. Alice had no I.D. whatsoever, and Dorothy didn’t have a credit card. Now they were driving around in circles trying to come up with another plan, and Alice’s head was starting to hurt. The Hater was murmuring obscenities in the back of her head, but even he seemed like he wasn’t in the mood to cause trouble.

  “This is hopeless,” Dorothy said. “We’re so screwed.” It was coming on to suppertime, and rush hour traffic was in full swing. Dorothy’s stomach was growling; they’d driven around all afternoon and not bothered to stop anywhere.

  “Naww, we’re alright,” Alice said. “We just need to find another place that doesn’t care whether you trash their shit or not.”

  “Which is, like, everybody,” Dorothy said.

  “Not everybody,” Alice said. “There are a couple cash motels downtown, we’ll check those out. I didn’t really want to go down there but fuck it, right? All we need is a place to crash and maybe smoke a bit, then we can figure out where we’re goin’ from here.”

  The rode in silence for a minute, then Dorothy said, “You said butt fuckin’.”

  Alice looked over at her. Dorothy was stealing sidelong glances back, a small smile playing on her lips.

  “Oh god,” Alice said, laughing. “That’s fuckin’ awful.”

  “You said it,” Dorothy said. She reached out and turned up the stereo. Rammstein was singing about Amerika. “I love this song.”

  “They sound like Nazis,” Alice said.

  “Yeah, a little,” Dorothy said. She banged her head in time to the pounding guitars.

  “None of this shit is in English, either.”

  “I like it.”

  “Yeah?” Alice said. “Well, you’re fucked up I guess.”

  “Ouch!” Dorothy said. “Don’t be mean.”

  Alice laughed. “I’ll make it up to you when we get to our room, I promise.”

  “Oh yeah?” Dorothy said coyly. “How?”

  “Oh wouldn’t you like to know,” Alice said. They were driving in the inner city now, rows of sad old Victorian style houses with boarded windows and dirty looking kids hanging out on the street. Sometimes the houses had tall chain fences around them; the inner city version of a white picket fence was chain link steel and seven feet tall.

  “Wow,” Dorothy said. “It really looks like hell around here, doesn’t it?”

  “I used to live down here,” Alice said. When Dorothy looked at her, she nodded vigorously. “You bet. Actually just a few streets down. The neighbourhood wasn’t quite this bad a few years ago, but it’s always been shitty. “

  “Sounds wild,” Dorothy said, and let it sit there. She stared out the window listening to music and Alice didn’t disturb her.

  After a while the houses were replaced with warehouses and strip malls, and then there were a series of motels and fast food restaurants along one side of the road. Alice turned at a set of lights and followed a service road that linked all the motels and fast food places together.

  “Any preference?” Alice said.

  They drove past a place called Emerald City Motel and Dorothy pointed to the WE TAKE CASH half of the sign.

  “This looks good,” Dorothy said.

  “Good as any other.”

  They pulled into the parking lot and Dorothy had a flashback to the last Motel office she had been in, looking for aspirin with creepy Steve who was nice enough to toss her a handful of pills (she still had them) from his own private stash. Steve, who had been butchered by something maybe living inside Alice, maybe Alice herself, for God knows why. Certainly wasn’t drugs, they had plenty of those. Money maybe, but Alice hadn’t said anything about a robbery. The news hadn’t mentioned it either. She kind of thought that if Alice really felt like grinding someone up and spitting them out, she didn’t need a reason for it.

  Alice parked the car and then turned to Dorothy. “You want me to come in with you?” she said. “I don’t have any I.D., so it’s gonna have to be you.”

  “I can do it,” Dorothy said. “Money?”

  “Oh yeah,” Alice said. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a handful of twenties. “Take it all, I have no idea how much a room costs. Get us something for a couple days. I’ll run over and grab some lunch while you’re in there.”

  “Okay,” Dorothy said. She cupped the money in her hands. “Where did you get all this?”

  “Santa Claus,” Alice said.

  Dorothy looked down at her feet. Then, wordlessly, she stuffed the wad of bills into her pocket. At the last moment Alice snaked a hand out and grabbed Dorothy’s wrist. It was all Dorothy could do not to scream.

  “What do you want for lunch?” Alice asked softly.

  “Wh-whatever you’re having,” Dorothy said. That dangerous serenity had returned to Alice’s face. Dorothy shrank away from the look; from her touch.

  “I’ll getcha somethin’ good,” Alice said. Then she slid her fingers into Dorothy’s pocket and grabbed a stray bill. Her fingers pressed into Dorothy’s thigh as she slid them out of the girl’s pocket, but her other hand lingered on the girl’s wrist.

  “Sounds good to me,” Dorothy said. She did it. I have the proof in my hands, right here. We spent this money last night and now we have it back again because she robbed Steve after she butchered him.

  Alice withdrew her hand, and the Dorothy popped out of the vehicle. She made her way around the car, jamming her fists into her pockets as she moved toward the motel office door.

  “Hey babe?” Alice said su
ddenly. Dorothy turned back to her.

  “What?”

  “Thanks,” Alice said. “For everything. I love you.”

  The words were like warm hands cupping Dorothy’s face. She suddenly felt like such a heel for ever being afraid of Alice; for ever doubting anything more than her loyalty. Why did she have to keep telling herself Alice was a good person? She could see it now, on her face, plain as day. She wasn’t dangerous, not to Dorothy anyway.

  That look she was afraid of was insecurity, and Dorothy had seen it plenty of times on her own face. That look you got when you loved someone but you weren’t sure if they loved you back or not; feeling balloons of warmth but also icy pins lining the walls of your heart. When it was even money they’d tell you they loved you or they’d tell you to fuck off, and all the while you were whispering I love you into a pillow because they might leave if they heard you say it.

  She rushed to the car and grabbed Alice’s face in her hands. “I love you,” she said back, and kissed Alice deeply. “I love you so much.”

  Alice smiled, her upturned face like a bowl of sunshine to Dorothy. “I’m gonna go get us something to eat,” she said.

  “I’ll be here,” Dorothy said. “I swear.” She stepped away from the car, and Alice backed out of the stall, smiling broadly. She flashed a little finger wave from the car then hit the gas. Dorothy waved back. She’d cast her lot with love, for better or worse.

  Dorothy turned then, and skipped into the Emerald City Motel. The office was a large, open area with seating and coffee tables piled high with old newspapers and Time magazines, and in one corner was a double desk with computers and a sign saying INTERNET ACCESS FREE WITH ROOM RENTAL. On the other side were a row of telephones and a magazine stand filled with tourist pamphlets. The walls were green and yellow; the ceiling was a different kind of green. There was a young woman behind the desk who smiled when Dorothy walked in, but otherwise the room was empty of people. She was pretty but tired looking, and at first glance Dorothy took her to be ten years older than she appeared on closer inspection.

  “Hello,” the woman said, smiling. “Welcome to the Emerald City.”

  “Thanks,” Dorothy said. “Great name.”

  “Oh,” the woman said. “Well, thank you. Do you need a room?”

  “Yeah. You guys don’t need a credit card, right? ‘Cuz I lost mine.”

  “Not a problem,” the woman said through her teeth. Her smile seemed painted on. “There is a deposit of a hundred dollars, then it’s forty dollars per night. Can I sign you up?”

  Dorothy pulled the wad of twenties.

  “They get your wallet, too?” the girl asked.

  “Yeah,” Dorothy said.

  “That sucks.”

  “Two nights,” Dorothy said.

  “Ohhh-kay,” the woman said. “Do you have some I.D.? I just need to make a copy for our records, then that will be eighty dollars for two night’s rental plus a hundred dollars deposit that you’ll get back at the end of your stay.” She didn’t say what she really meant, which was you’ll get it back if you haven’t destroyed the room or stolen all the towels out of the place. She didn’t have to.

  Dorothy slipped the woman her driver’s license and counted out nine of the twenty dollar bills. She still had five left. She wondered if any of the money they’d taken from Rabbit’s house with his drugs had somehow found its way back into her possession, then reminded herself she didn’t care, because love picked her and she would be better off if she just went for the ride.

  The woman behind the desk had Dorothy sign a contract, and then made a copy of her license and the contract together. “That’s yours,” she said, handing the license and the document back. She scooped the cash off the table. “This is mine.” She disappeared behind an office door for a moment then came back without the cash. She grabbed a serving tray with an electric teapot and some instant coffee and tea. There was also a plastic cup of sugar packets and artificial whitener. A handful of little wooden stir sticks had been dumped haphazardly along one side.

  “This is also for you,” the woman said. She held out a small brown envelope. “Your door keys.”

  “Perfect,” Dorothy said. “Thanks a lot.”

  “No problem. Your room is 202, right around the corner. Just give me a holler if you can’t find it, but it’s like right beside us. Should be no problem.”

  “Thanks,” Dorothy said again.

  The girls said goodnight to each other and then Dorothy walked outside. Someone was sitting in a silver car on the far side of the parking lot, but she gave it no more than a cursory glance. She found room 202 easily enough, and then stood in the parking spot and waited for Alice. When Rabbit’s car reappeared, she waved the girl in and motioned to the parking spot.

  “Everything all good?” Alice said, sticking her head out the window.

  “Yeah, Easy-Peasy,” Dorothy said. “I had enough for two nights, so I got that. There’s still, like, I dunno, a hundred bucks left.”

  “Sweet!” Alice said. She parked the car, got out, and pulled a bag of food from the front seat. In her other hand she scooped up a six pack of beer. “Later we can go for more, if you want, the liquor store is right around the corner.”

  “Oh yeah?” Dorothy said. “Plannin’ on gettin’ me drunk?”

  “Maybe,” Alice said. She was walking by Dorothy, but the girl had other plans.

  Dorothy leaned in and kissed her on the mouth. “You don’t have to,” she said.

  She took Alice’s arm and walked her to their room. She fumbled with the tray in her hands while trying to get the lock to work, but finally managed to swipe the cardkey. A little red light turned green, and the door popped open.

  The room inside had a green ceiling and pale yellow walls. There was a single bed against the wall, and a small flat screen television on an IKEA-style table beside the bathroom door. It smelled like pine needles, and when Alice hit the light switch beside the entrance the room was bathed in a soft yellow light from a pair of emerald lamps on either side of the bed.

  “Fancy,” Dorothy breathed.

  “Your favourite colour, too,” Alice said, and laughed when Dorothy elbowed her. She tossed the food on the bed and set the beer down on the table in front of the television.

  “Seems familiar,” Dorothy said, putting the coffee tray down. There was a single cushion recliner-style chair facing the television, and she sat there.

  “These motel rooms pretty much all look the same,” Alice said. “Same everything. Towels too small, lights too dim, bed too hard. Only thing that changes is the colour scheme.”

  “Sounds depressing,” Dorothy said.

  “Hey, that’s why the almighty invented beer,” Alice said. She pulled two cans off their plastic loop and tossed one to Dorothy.

  “I thought he invented it so the Irish wouldn’t take over the world,” Dorothy said.

  “Yeah,” Alice said. “That, and so you wouldn’t care so much that motels all look the same.”

  “Amen,” Dorothy said, swigging her beer.

  There was a knock at the door, and the girls stopped dead.

  Cops? Dorothy mouthed.

  Get rid of them, Alice mouthed back.

  Dorothy shook her head, no.

  “Get—,” Alice said, her eyes blazing. Then GO as loud as she dared whisper.

  Dorothy stood up, scowling. What do I do? she mouthed.

  Alice got up and headed for the bathroom. She pointed at the front door.

  Dorothy approached the door just as a second, louder knock banged around the room. She leaned up and took a peak in the spy hole but the view was completely black.

  “Hello?” Dorothy said.

  “Ice delivery,” a man’s voice said. “You forgot to grab the bucket when you signed in, ma’am.”

  She turned and looked back at Alice, with her head poking out behind the bathroom door. Alice shook her head once, no.

  “Uhh, no thanks,” Dorothy said.”We don’t need any
ice.”

  “That’s fine ma’am. May I leave the bucket with you then? It’s supposed to be in the room anyway, I can’t believe they didn’t give it to you when you first signed in.”