Something Old, Something New

by Linda Louise Rigsbee

  She took the phone from him, avoiding his gaze as she put it back in the holster and hooked the Velcro latch.

  “Did you call?”

  When he didn’t answer, she dropped the mop in the bucket and looked at his face to see if he was angry. His expression was more concern than anger.

  “I called to tell you I was coming home for lunch.” He smiled and reached for her. “You look so worried. It happens sometimes, honey. Don’t worry about it.”

  Tears stung her eyes as she moved into his waiting arms. They hugged for a moment and then she stepped back, avoiding his gaze.

  “I’ll fix you something to eat.”

  “I’ll get washed up,” he said as she exited the bedroom into the hallway.

  She headed for the kitchen, fighting back tears. Sometimes it was easier to accept his disappointment than sympathy. Of course, he couldn’t know the true source of her tears.

  The sound of water running in her bathroom brought her up short. Naturally he didn’t use his bathroom. She had just mopped it. She resumed her course to the kitchen. He probably wouldn’t notice the trash can anyway. The water stopped running, but he didn’t come out of the bathroom immediately. She sliced some roast beef and made him a sandwich. As she was putting it in a saucer, he wandered into the living room, looking at something in his hand.

  “What is this,” he asked, his tone indicating he knew what he was holding.

  Carmen’s mouth went dry and her face flamed. She felt hot and cold by turns.

  His gaze lifted to her, studying her face. “Why didn’t you just go to the doctor?”

  There was no point in trying to conceal the truth now. The cat was out of the bag…or the rabbit. She met his stern gaze.

  “I figured you’d be upset when you found out.”

  He nodded. “And you figured I wouldn’t know about this?” He held up the tester.

  She simply nodded. What more was there to say?

  He sighed. “Well, I am upset, but not because you bought a tester and not because you were trying to hide it from me.” He made a face. “I’m ashamed that you felt the need to hide it from me, though.” He walked into the kitchen, stepped on the trash can lid opener and dropped the tester in the trash. “I’m upset because you didn’t go to the doctor.” His troubled gaze came back to her. “Have you ever been late before?”

  Warmth crawled up her neck as she put his sandwich on the table and watched him wash his hands in the kitchen sink.

  “Yes, but not this late.”

  He nodded again. “If you’re late enough to be concerned about pregnancy, you need to see the doctor. You might have an infection.”

  He dried his hands on a paper towel and threw it in the trash. His troubled gaze studied her as he sat down at the table.

  “I hate to see you building yourself up for a let down like this.”

  She poured him a cup of coffee and sat down across the table from him.

  “Having to give up all hope is worse than the temporary down of finding out I’m not pregnant. It could happen you know. They say that mumps rarely causes sterility.”

  He leaned back in his chair, watching her reflectively. Finally he shrugged and sat forward, reaching for his sandwich.

  “I know it’s rare. My father was a doctor. But it does happen.” He took a bite of his sandwich and swallowed before he continued. “I suppose the loss of all hope is what depression is all about. I just don’t want you to get your hopes up every time you’re a day late. Most of all, I don’t want you to avoid the doctor when there could be something wrong.”

  “Mom and Dad wanted a baby, and they didn’t give up. Sometimes it takes a long time and a lot of praying, but I’m living proof it can happen even after many years.”

  Alex groaned. “I don’t want to wait until I’m a half-century old to start raising children…not when there are so many children who need parents now.”

  That was true enough, but maybe it wouldn’t happen that way. Many times people gave up trying and adopted, only to immediately become pregnant. What a mess that would be.

  He was quiet while he ate his sandwich. Finally he took another sip of his coffee and leaned back in his chair, studying her.

  “I can’t deny the power of prayer, or the virtue of tenacity. Maybe your parents just got lucky.” He smiled. “They did get lucky. They must have been proud of you.”

  She lifted one shoulder and made a face. “They were. I was their only child.”

  He continued to watch her. “But you’re not spoiled or self-centered.”

  She shrugged. What could she say? What did he want her to say?

  “I’m sorry, Carmen.” He said.

  “For what?”

  “That the test was negative.” He took another sip of his coffee and leaned forward, setting the cup on the table.

  “I want to have a baby,” she said, leaning toward him. “More than anything else, I want to have your baby. Maybe I will some day, but whatever happens, I’m not sorry I married you. Some day maybe we’ll have children, somehow. I don’t know what’s in the future. I just know it would be empty without you.” She stood. “After Mom died, Dad was lost. I think he died of a broken heart.” She sighed. “I think now I understand how he felt about her.”

  Maybe it was time to tell him about the place on the mountain. At this point she wasn’t sure why she felt uncomfortable about telling him, maybe because she had hid so many things from him already and he was hurt by that. Sooner or later she would tell him, and he would know how important it was to her, and that she had hidden it from him.

  Alex stood and pulled her into his arms. “Go to the doctor, sweetheart.”

  “I will,” she said.

  Going to the doctor turned out to be unnecessary. The next morning she woke to cramps and the unwelcome fact that she was not pregnant. When Alex came in for his breakfast, he dropped into his chair and took one long look at her.

  “You started your period,” he stated flatly.

  She merely nodded.

  “I’m sorry, sweetheart.” And that was the last thing said about the incident.

  Chapter Fifteen

  The day before Thanksgiving, Carmen was baking pies when she discovered there wasn’t enough tapioca for thickening. Alex was working in the north pasture, putting in fence posts for the buffalo fence. He had taken the day off to get it done and had only been working about an hour. It would be a couple more hours before lunch, so she decided to run to the quick market and get some. Making sure she had her cell phone buckled down and that it was turned on, she headed for the garage. As soon as she stepped out the door, she saw the flat on her car. Alex would probably tell her to use his truck until he could get to the car, but there was no reason she couldn’t change her own flat. She opened the car door and tossed her purse in. Opening the garage door to let more light in, she turned to the task of changing the tire.

  A search produced the hub cap key and she popped it off with ease. Pulling out the lug wrench, she slipped it on a lug and strained to break it loose, first one way and then the other. The lug wouldn’t budge. She stepped back and frowned at it. If she only knew which way to turn it, maybe she could step on the lug wrench.

  A truck pulled into the driveway and she glanced up to see Josh climb out of it. In his usual casual stroll, he made his way up to her, eyeing the flat.

  “Why does Alex have you doing this?”

  Carmen rolled her eyes. “He doesn’t even know I have a flat. The better question might be; why am I up here while he’s down in the pasture putting in fence posts alone?” She indicated the flat. “I figured I could take care of it, but I can’t even get the lug nuts off. Which way do they turn, anyway?”

  “Here,” he said, reaching for the lug wrench.

  She surrendered it readily and he quickly loosened one lug. As he moved on to the next, she reached in the trunk and pulled out the jack. He had completed loosening all the lug nuts and was squatted on the floor when she handed i
t to him.

  He glanced at it and made a face as he took it from her hand. “I hate these scissor jacks,” he said as he shoved it under the car. He peered under to position it.

  Alex walked into the garage as Josh began cranking the jack. Alex turned a stern gaze on Carmen.

  “Why didn’t you call me?”

  She shrugged. “You were busy and I thought I could do it.”

  “I’ve got a hydraulic jack,” he said to Josh, “and a 4-way.”

  Josh immediately started turning the jack handle the other way, and pulled it from under the car. A sour smile belied friendly eyes when he looked up at Alex.

  “I don’t suppose you have a spare tire that isn’t a doughnut.”

  Alex chuckled. “No, but if this one has hole in it, I have the equipment to plug it.”

  “I’ll turn the compressor on,” Alex said as he turned to Carmen. “Carmen, can you bring us some soapy water in a jar?”

  “Sure,” she said, and darted into the house. They were actually working together. If a flat tire was what it took, then she was thankful for a flat tire.

  When she brought the jar of soapy water out, Alex and Josh were bending over the tire, examining it.

  “Right here,” Josh said. “It looks like she picked up a screw.”

  “Yes,” Alex said, accepting the jar from Carmen. “Let’s see if there is anything else.”

  Alex aired the tire up while Josh held it, and then they used the water to look for any more leaks. Satisfied that there were no more, the two men turned their efforts to extracting the screw and plugging the hole.

  They worked together well, and had the tire back on in a short period of time. Carmen explained her mission and climbed into the car.

  “I’ll be back in a jiffy,” she said.

  Alex nodded and turned to Josh. “I’ll open the gate and we can drive down to the fence line.”

  Carmen glanced from one of them to the other. Josh was the one who answered her unspoken question.

  “I saw him working down there and called to see if he needed help.”

  Carmen suppressed a smile. Finally they were acting like neighbors or relatives instead of rivals. Maybe sometime they would actually be friends. She started the car as Josh walked back to his truck. Alex opened the gate and Josh turned his truck toward it, clearing the way for Carmen to get out of the yard. Alex waved at her as she started down the road, and she waved back. It was strange how something like this could make a person feel more content.

  Thanksgiving Day dawned with bright sunshine. Everyone was going to be there at one point or another throughout the day. The traditional meal wouldn’t be served until around 5:00 pm. They did it that way to accommodate families of their guests. Katie and Bill were going to his parent’s at noon, as did some of the Reynolds. That gave Carmen plenty of time to cook and get the house holiday ready. If the weather held, the children would eat outside in the courtyard, while the adults ate at the formal dining table. It would be the first time they used that furniture. Carmen had purchased the dining set and corner china cabinet almost a month before, and Alex said he was pleased with it. Her mother’s dishes were now on display for the first time, and they did the cabinet justice. The matching bookcase with its glass doors to protect the books from the environment was her favorite purchase, though. They were finally able to pool their books in a presentable fashion. They ranged from the classic “A Tale of Two Cities”, to a WWII edition cook book her mother had given her. The drapes she had purchased for the patio doors were drawn open, letting the sunshine in. Alex had a fire burning in the fireplace to take off the morning chill and everything looked cozy. She ran a dust mop over the hardwood floor and stood back, admiring the room.

  Alex had been in his office most of the morning, but his quick step behind her announced that he had finally emerged. His arms slid around her waist and up, drawing her back against his chest. He kissed her neck and nibbled on her ear.

  “Why don’t you relax, sweetheart. You’ve been working for days. It looks good enough to please a king.”

  She turned in his arms and gazed up at his face. “If you’re pleased with it, then it’s good enough.”

  She snuggled close in his arms, one hand sneaking up inside his shirt collar to the back of his neck. His gaze met hers in sultry anticipation of her next move. For a moment she caressed the back of his neck, enjoying the warmth of his body close to hers. Slowly she drew his head down, stretching up to touch his lips with hers. He lowered his head, eagerly meeting her half way. When they finally drew apart, she smiled up at him.

  “I have so much to be thankful for.”

  He held her in his arms, a smile lurking in his eyes. “Happy?”

  She nodded. “Ecstatic.”

  He chuckled softly. “It doesn’t take much to keep you happy, Heidi.”

  “I have more than I ever believed possible. Today I’ll entertain a house full of family…in a house nicer than anything I ever hoped for. But most of all, I have you.” A sigh escaped her lips. “I only wish Mom and Dad had lived to see this.”

  He pulled her close and held her for a few minutes. “I wish my Dad had lived to meet you,” he finally said. “He would have loved you.”

  She was afraid to move for fear it would break the spell. Maybe he would disclose more about his relationship with his father.

  She gazed up at the picture over the mantle…his mother and father. The blue eyes that gazed down at her from a fair face were friendly. His mother’s eyes looked like they might be hazel. Like Alex, her expression was unreadable. Had he intentionally left his mother out, or was it simply that the strongest bond was with his father? Maybe he didn’t think his mother would like her. He did come from a wealthy family. Maybe his mother would have thought her son was marrying down. Maybe he was. She leaned back and looked at his face.

  “Do you ever regret marrying such a country hick?”

  His laugh was short. “You ask the strangest things.”

  She watched him, waiting for an answer.

  Finally he lifted his brows and shrugged. “You never try to be someone you’re not. I want to be like that.”

  She smiled up at him. “You are like that.”

  They relaxed the rest of the evening. When all the guests arrived that evening, the house was packed, both with food and people. Before an hour had passed, Katie looked exhausted. Carmen asked if she wanted to sit in the recliner and Katie accepted without protest. As she carefully lowered herself into the chair, she glanced up at Carmen.

  “You don’t really want to go through this,” she said with a groan.

  “It will get better,” Carmen said as she smoothed Katie’s hair. “Considering the amount of women who willingly go through multiple pregnancies, it must be worth the trouble.” She straightened. “Anyway, it’s all irrelevant. I don’t think it matters whether I want to go through it or not.”

  “I’m sorry,” Katie said. “That was an incredibly insensitive thing for me to say.”

  Carmen shrugged. “You’re tired and uncomfortable. Can I get you anything?”

  Katie shook her head, leaning back and closing her eyes.

  More than anything, she probably simply needed rest, if she could get any in such a noisy room. Maybe she should lie down in the bedroom. With Bill’s help, they might be able to get her there. Carmen glanced up, searching for him. Instead, her gaze found Alex, standing only feet away. He was watching her, a strange expression on his face. He was close enough to hear the conversation. Maybe he was wondering why she didn’t offer the room.

  At that moment Bill came to Katie’s aid. He leaned over her.

  “Katie? Come on. Let’s go home.”

  “It’s alright,” Katie said. “I don’t want to ruin your fun.”

  “Come on,” he insisted, pulling on her hand.

  Alex and Carmen walked them to their car and saw them off before turning back to the house. Alex put an arm around Carmen’s shoulders and gave her a comf
orting squeeze.

  “I wonder sometimes.”

  Carmen glanced up at him expectantly, but his attention was on the old house. He said no more and she didn’t ask. Maybe he wondered how things would have been if he hadn’t married her, or if he had no money.

  She wrapped an arm around his lean waist and hugged him.

  “I love you so much.”

  His attention shifted to her and his smile was sweet.

  “I love you too, Heidi.”

  Would she ever get past that image in his mind? More important, would he grow tired of it? Mom always said children might drift, but they always came back to their raising. Yet Alex had the same rearing that Katie did, and Katie was a happy redneck now. If only they could have a child together. She would have to be as patient as her parents were.

  Thanksgiving past, they were barely into December when a cold front brought thunderstorms to the area. What started out as heavy rain eventually morphed into wet snow. That wasn’t the only thing the storm brought, though. It also brought on labor for Katie.

  Alex had been at work only minutes when Bill called to tell them he was taking Katie to the hospital. Carmen called Alex, but he said he couldn’t leave for at least another hour. Carmen asked him to meet her at the hospital and he agreed.

  Katie was in the last stages of a difficult labor when Alex finally arrived. By that time Carmen was a little more receptive to the idea of adoption.

  “Where have you been?” Carmen asked him when he sat down beside her in the waiting room.

  He frowned. “At work.”

  “I thought you were going to get off early.”

  He leaned back in the chair and sighed.

  “It got busy and I figured Katie had enough help.”

  “She’s having a hard time of it. They’re talking about cesarean.

  He eyed her sourly. “I didn’t know. No one called me.”

  Carmen caught her breath and put a hand to her mouth.

  “Oh, I’m so sorry, Alex.”

  His gaze softened. “It’s alright. I’m sure your mind has been consumed with other things today.”