by Drew Sera
December 17th
I finally got a call from an agency for a corporate building. I wasn’t sure exactly what they did for the corporate building, but I have nothing to lose but to go check it out. I have an appointment to meet with someone tomorrow to drop off my resume. I don’t know if it’s a formal interview or just a drop off type of thing.
December 18th
I was really impressed by Openin. They are much more than a temp agency. They actually hire people for permanent positions within the companies, and they have benefits. They said that there was an opening for Everett Gaming and that with any other company they could have held the interview today, but the guy said that the owner and CEO of the company wants to attend all interviews. Why on earth would a CEO care about attending an interview for an assistant type of position? Unfortunately, the CEO was on vacation for the holidays until after the first of the year. But, I’m still keeping my fingers crossed.
January 10th
I GOT THE JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I smiled when I saw her rows of enthusiastic exclamation points, followed by smiley faces. I remember sitting in on that interview. She was nervous, terrified of eye contact, and I was so drawn to her. I didn’t hear too many of the questions but spent the time looking at her, trying to figure out why I was drawn to this girl. I continued reading…
I’m now a receptionist for Openin but under the Everett Gaming Corporation. I got to meet the CEO today and his two business partners and executive assistants. Everyone seemed really nice, and the CEO showed me around. I felt like I was taking up his time when he probably had actual important stuff to do. I start Monday. I took notes as Mr. Everett showed me around and introduced me to people. On the ride home, I made flashcards of the key people I met, as I’d be interacting with them often. On the reverse side of the card I wrote what they did.
January 14th
I didn’t think 8:00 could have come soon enough. Howard knew I was starting my new job today, but he still had his friends over. I begged him not to do that last night. I don’t know why I bother. The bus ride was terrible. I sat near the front of the bus and was so cold from being near the door opening and closing. I won’t sit there again. Work was great though! Janice is super nice, and she showed me around and let me deliver the mail by myself using a seat chart. I tried to stay out of people’s way so they could work. So many people stopped to talk to me and asked me about my prior job or this or that. Everyone was so nice to me. Mr. Everett and Mr. Graves came over to welcome me this morning. I don’t think it was anything special and that they were just on their way up from the coffee place in the atrium. But it was wonderful to know that they remembered I was starting today.
January 29th
I hate how I act. Why can’t I be better for Howard? Sydney = stupid, useless, slut.
I sat up in my chair and frowned at it.
“No, baby. That’s not true, honey.”
I ran my hand over the piece of paper, knowing that it was Howard that put this in her head. There was a string of this in her journal for the next several days and it crushed me to read and know that she was working for me when all this shit was happening.
January 30th
I woke up on the floor again, chained to the radiator. I only woke up because my phone’s alarm clock was going off. I was nearly late for work by the time I reached Howard and found out that he had taped the key to the cuffs under the barstool. I sat in the back of the bus and put some ointment on my ankles and wrists. Thankfully, it didn’t have a scent to it.
February 4th
Why doesn’t he just kill me and get it over with? I hate how I feel. I’ve got this great, new job, and he keeps saying he’s going to show up and create a scene so I lose the job. I worked so hard for it. I’d be so embarrassed.
February 7th
I hate the dark. He put me in the closet last night because I don’t know how to act. It’s hard to breathe in there with the hood over my head. He made me drink several glasses of water so when he did let me out this morning, I was cramped and hurting from holding my bladder all night. He used a cane on me between my legs. I tried not to let him see me cry. I think he hates me.
February 11th
I deserve it. All of it.
There was very little during the month of February that was pleasant. It was littered with more words and phrases that broke my heart. There were more descriptions of wounds and an increase in mentioning that she was hungry and felt like she cries for no reason. Everything was negative until March 15th, and it made me smile.
March 15th
Today was a great day at work. I guess the birthday of one of the big guys is coming up, because the whole office had a big luncheon and they invited Janice and I. Since I wasn’t a real employee of Everett Gaming, I made sure I arrived later once I knew most of the people would have already had a chance to get lunch. They had more right to it than I did. When I got off the elevator on the 10th floor, I saw all of the decorations strewn all over the office that said “40” on them. I was at the end of the line several times. Anyone who got in line behind me, I politely got out of the line and walked around a bit and then got back in line. I didn’t want anyone to think that I was taking something that I had no right to. It was a party for his co-workers and then if there was stuff leftover, me. I stood off to the side and ate my lunch (oh my god it was good) and watched all of the people around the birthday man. He is very popular. Mr. Everett never left his side, and they were laughing about something. Mr. Everett and Mr. Graves laugh a lot when they’re around each other. Everyone says they’re best friends. I felt like I should say something, but he was so busy talking to other people that I didn’t want to interrupt. Then I would have been the stupid girl from reception who really had no right to be there anyway, who was interrupting the handsome birthday man. In mid stride over to him, I decided I shouldn’t interrupt and ended up putting another sandwich on my plate with some chips from the table in front of me. When I looked up, Mr. Everett was staring at me. I knew I should have just kept my distance, I’m so stupid. Then I felt guilty for having the extra sandwich on my plate. But since it was there, I couldn’t put it back. I knew I needed out of there before I got in trouble or fired. I was staring at the shiny elevator doors and could see the reflection of someone approaching. I was nervous that they’d see I was taking more and would think I was greedy. Mr. Graves leaned on the wall by the elevator and asked me why I was leaving his party. I just stared at him and then at my sandwich, explaining that I needed to get back to my desk. He said that he couldn’t let me leave without a cupcake and then he set two down on my plate. One was vanilla and the other chocolate, and they had footballs on them. He smiled at me and for some crazy reason; it made me feel good and like I belonged at their party. It was a great feeling and something I kind of wish I could feel more often.
March 16th
McDonald’s night for me!!!
It still struck me funny how whenever we ask Sydney where she wants to go to eat, she’ll usually say McDonald’s. With all of the great places to eat in this city, she clings to McDonald’s. Sydney and Anthony have this thing now with the McFlurries. The two of them always share one. It’s their thing, and I know both of them equally look forward to it.
March 18th
The cigarettes hurt so much. I hate the way I act. I hate what I do and what I say and the fact that I can’t do things that Howard asks for. I will never earn a collar.
March 21st
2’x3’
weary, helpless
aching, thinking, hurting
left to correct and reflect
hell
I read the entries for March 18th and the 21st over and over again as my brain thought about how much emotional and physical agony she was in. A chill washed over me when I realized her March 21st entry was describing being locked in the closet.
“Fuck.”
I shut her notebook and paced the entire lower level of the house several times
before Matt sent me a text saying that he and Gina were on their way. I was sitting down at the kitchen table when Matt and Gina arrived with dinner for us. Blake was going to go try to get Anthony to come out of the guest room, but I convinced him to stay in the kitchen with Matt. Blake and Matt got the table ready with the food while I went to try my luck with Anthony.
I knocked on the door and waited. He didn’t open it, so I knocked a little louder. Fine, I guess I was going to have to talk through the door to him. I’d do whatever I needed to in order to keep him standing, because if he fell, I probably would too.
“Anth…Matt’s here and he brought dinner…Come on, Anth. You need to come eat something…I talked to the detectives this afternoon.”
He opened the door and looked at me with hopeful eyes. He looked like hell, but I understood. I was happy he opened the door.
“Hey,” I said once he swung the door open. “They’re coming over tonight around 8:00 to show us the security footage.”
He nodded, exhaled loudly, and rubbed on his chest. I think he feared that I was there to deliver bad news. Fuck, I can’t think about that. Can’t even fucking think about that as an option.
“I’ll be out in a few minutes.”
I nodded and let him do whatever he needed to do and went back out to the smell of food. I didn’t know what Matt brought, and I didn’t even care. I just needed to eat so I can keep going and Anthony needed to eat, also.
As I was digging into some fried chicken, Anthony sat down next to me. Just as it had done earlier, him being near gave me energy and hope. Matt and Blake both stopped eating to get Anthony situated. Blake went to retrieve a Coke for him while Matt offered up a few pieces of fried chicken with some sides.
Anthony just looked around the table but didn’t say anything. Finally, he put some mashed potatoes and gravy on his plate and a piece of chicken. At least he was eating, or would start soon. I kept an eye on him while we ate. All he did was push the potatoes around on his plate. He didn’t eat much. Matt thankfully didn’t push at Anthony. When it was obvious that Anthony wasn’t going to attempt to eat anything else, Matt put his arm across Anthony’s shoulders and jostled him a bit. Anthony managed a small sigh. He knew Matt was there for him, but like every other time, Anthony kept himself quiet.
I noticed that Gina sat quietly next to Matt but made little eye contact with anyone. Her body language told me she was dead tired and upset. When Matt got up from the table again to go get more food, I tried talking to Gina.
“How are you holding up, sweetheart?”
She looked up at me and gave me a forced smile. Her eyes were so sad, and suddenly the tears rolled down her face and she covered her face with her hands.
“Gina, sweetheart, it’s going to be okay. I know you’re worried about her, too.”
I moved over to Matt’s chair and tried to provide some comfort, but she was crying hard and just needed Matt. Matt came back over and pulled her from the chair and then he sat down on it and held her on his lap.
“Pet, try to calm down. Shhh, pet. You’re going to make yourself sick again, Gina.” Matt held her head against his shoulder and rubbed on her back until the gasps became less and her breathing began returning to normal. Anthony went to the great room and came back moments later with a throw and wrapped it around Gina.
“Thanks, Anth.” Matt looked over at me with a worried expression. I knew he was being pulled in a million directions right now. “Gina isn’t sleeping at night.” Matt announced before he dropped kisses on Gina’s head while she clung to him. “She tries...but then wakes up...scared...afraid...don’t you, pet? She’s been getting sick to her stomach at night. She cries so hard until she gives herself the dry heaves.” Matt exhaled loudly and tried to regain his composure. “But I tell her that it’s going to be okay, and that we’ll find Sydney.”
Poor Gina. This is a terrible time for so many people. Everyone is hurting. One thing was certain, Gina relaxes when she’s in Matt’s arms. We continued to talk quietly while Matt held his everything in his arms under a blanket. My arms ached to hold Sydney. I should have held her more.
I updated Matt and Anthony on the phone call I had earlier this afternoon from the police. Still no sign of any activity or movement at Paul’s place, but they would continue to watch his house. They also had checked with his employer and turns out Paul has taken a leave of absence. I wondered how long he had been planning this.
Blake let the detectives in shortly after 8:00 p.m. and came into the kitchen. They had some file folders with them and sat down to show us the photographic stills. I think I stopped breathing the moment they opened the folder.
There in black and white was Sydney. She was sitting on the bench, fifteen feet from the women’s restroom. The air was thick with tension in the kitchen, and I had to blink numerous times to get the tears out of the way and focus. My baby was just sitting there, waiting for Gina. She had the bag of M&M’s that Anthony had put in her coat pocket yesterday morning. I hoped those wouldn’t be the last bag of M&M’s Anthony hid for her.
The next photo had her standing next to the bench and a man approaching - fucking Paul. Seeing him come up behind her filled me with anger and rage. Rage that I’ve never felt before flowed through my veins. She never saw it coming, evil clashing with good. The third picture showed him right up on her after she had been knocked over. The fourth picture had him covering her mouth with something and his hand around her neck. The fifth picture showed him walking towards the parking garage with her slumped against him. Her collar and candy were near the bench. The sixth photo had Gina coming out of the bathroom.
It happened so fast. From the timestamp on the first photo to the sixth photo, it had been a little under one minute. I sat quiet and still. I flipped back to the first photo and ran my fingers over her. My baby.
I looked over at Anthony. I could see the anger on his face. He was clearly as bothered by this as I was. I said his name quietly, but he pushed away from the table and went back to the guest room. Dammit. I wanted to talk to him but with the police still here, it was hard for me to cause a scene and ask him to stay here. I watched him walk away towards the guest room when one of the officers started talking.
“The photos are hard to see. I understand Colin.” Detective Prestin said to me.
I know it was meant to be comforting but I was snappy. “Have you had someone you love more than anything be ripped from your life?” I asked him. “Then you couldn’t possibly begin to understand.”
I let Matt and Blake do the rest of the talking and obtaining information. I just bit my tongue and tried to listen. The detectives were certain that Paul had a chemical on the cloth he used to cover her mouth to knock her out, given how easy it was for him to move her. My stomach turned. Chemicals. I flashed back to Sydney’s list of fears. Cleaning agents and chemicals were listed. I just shook my head. He was taking advantage of every bit of weakness Sydney had. He had seen her info card at Irons. From the text picture last night of her bound and gagged on the floor, to now seeing that he also used a chemical on her, I hurt all over and felt like I had been hit by a truck. Fuck. My mind drifted to being in the car with my parents on the night of the car accident and an oncoming truck had struck us. I stood and shook everything out of my mind for the moment and walked to the door with the officers. I apologized to them as they were leaving. I know they’re just trying to help.
Blake went home after that and said he’d be back tomorrow with breakfast, despite me telling him it wasn’t necessary. Matt helped Gina settle in on the couch and then he and I sat in the kitchen and talked quietly for a while.
“I told my parents, Col.”
I whipped my head around and looked in his direction.
“What?”
“Colin, you’re a son to them. They love you and Anthony, and they adore Sydney.”
Hearing her name was like being punched in the gut with an iron fist. I shut my eyes and waited until the moisture passed before I ope
ned them again.
“I’m sorry, Matt. Thanks.”
“They’re flying out tomorrow. They want to be here.”
I couldn’t argue. Arrangements had already been made. What waters were we going to navigate with his folks here? They knew Anthony was involved with her, but what about me? I didn’t think I’d be able to get through their visit with pretending I wasn’t involved with her. I was lost in my own thoughts, trying to figure that out when my phone went off. I grabbed it off the table and leaned against the wall when I saw the picture. My baby, naked, bound on a cement floor, soaking wet and chained to a wall. With it was a text.
702-555-9924: I didn’t know you and Graves had it in you. I didn’t think you pussies could hurt a fly, let alone leave purple scars on her ankles and wrists. Did you and Graves get hard when you gave her those marks? Did one of you hold her down while the other inflicted the wounds? By the way, she cried when I dug my fingers into the scars.
I slid down the wall in the kitchen and felt like I was no longer in control of my breathing. I didn’t want Anthony seeing this. This kind of shit would kill Anthony inside.
6
Saturday, January 11th
Matt
Whatever was in that text just put my best friend on the ground. I took the phone from his tight grip and saw the image of Sydney naked and chained up. The words in the text didn’t help anything either. I reached towards the kitchen table and set his phone down.