The Beginning (Book 3): Tragic Impulse

by Shepp, Roman

  “Can I have a word with you?” he said in a low voice. Tony stepped out of the room, pulling the door closed behind him.

  Captain Roberts glanced over his shoulder, checking to make sure nobody was eavesdropping before he spoke. “About what you said earlier. I know how you feel. I've had the same argument with him before.”

  “Then why haven't you done anything about it?”

  “It's not that easy. Like I said, we have the chain of command to think about. I know that might sound stupid to you because of everything that's happened, but we must hold onto some kind of structure if we're ever going to get out of this alive. I still serve my country, and that means I serve my government too. I might not like the man, but Frank still represents that,” he said, although it seemed as though he was holding something back.

  “But surely you can't just stand by and let him get on with this strange plan of his? How can anyone in good conscience let that happen?”

  “I can't. But I've been waiting for more support. I want to do this right. I don't want to just go in there and threaten him with a gun because that won't make me any better than him. He's right in some respects. The world will need to be rebuilt, but I need to stay true to the principles on which this country was founded. Whatever country emerges from this one will reflect all the things we do here. I don't want a man like Frank in control.”

  “Me neither. You probably don't know half of the things he's done.”

  “It seems like you do. I'm still trying to figure out how you know him.”

  Tony thought about what he should say. He usually went with the truth, but on this occasion, he didn't want to betray Jane's trust. He was not sure how much of her past Jane would want these strangers to know.

  “I only ran into him briefly. Jane used to work with him. That's how we knew about this place. On the night when everything went dark we ran into them. Frank was chasing Jane, threatening things worse than death.”

  “I had a feeling he was like that. It's time to take him down. I can count on your help?”

  “You have all of our support,” Tony said. Steve gripped his shoulder and then moved away. Tony felt relieved that not everyone in the bunker had lost their minds, but he wasn't exactly enthused about being involved in some kind of coup.

  Chapter Two

  After pacing, Jane sat on one of the bunks and continued biting her nails. Ever since she had seen Frank again she had been forced to relive the horrors of that night. It had taken her a long time to start moving past it, and now she had been flung back. All the progress she made had been washed away. Whenever she closed her eyes she heard the relentless wheezing breaths behind her, the inexorable pounding of footsteps on the ground behind her. And those hands, the hands that had touched her intimately so many times before, the hands whose caress she often had welcomed now seemed like claws, slimy and grotesque.

  Except they weren't entirely grotesque. Nor was Frank. Despite herself, she still found him attractive. When he had been speaking in front of Tony she witnessed the man’s sheer charisma, the same thing that had made her go weak at the knees so long ago. In his pomp there were none who could resist Frank, and if he were left to his own devices she was sure he could see his plans come to fruition.

  Tony told her she was safe, but Jane couldn't believe it yet. It always felt as if there was someone standing behind her, looking over her shoulder. It was an inescapable feeling, and she worried that she would have to live the rest of her life in fear. Frank had changed on that night. She'd seen him turn into a monster. Yet, it was difficult to forget the man she had loved. How shameful it was of her, she thought, when so many people had lost their loved ones. People like Saeed and Tara, who had lost their families. And there she was, mourning the loss of a lover, when really it was her fault that his family had lost him. She often thought of Frank’s wife and children, wondering if they had put themselves in danger by waiting for Frank for too long.

  Tony, Saeed, and Tara all had fallen asleep. Phil was the only one awake, and Jane didn't want to be alone. When he rose, Jane asked him where he was going.

  “I thought I'd do a little exploring. I’ve read about these places, but I never thought I'd get to see one in the flesh. I'm also hoping there will be some kind of attachment I can have for my arm. I thought I'd rummage around, what I can find.”

  “You mind some company?”

  “Of course not,” Phil said, and held the door open for her.

  Jane could hear Frank, Megan, and Brian talking in another room. She didn't want to be anywhere near them. That was a reminder of her old life that she didn't need. How could it be that so many things had changed, and yet so much had stayed the same?

  “Let's go this way,” Phil said. Jane wondered if he had noticed her unease. They found a narrow door that led into a storeroom. Shelves stood in the middle of the room, filled with all manner of things, and big closets were against the wall. Their metal doors scraped as Phil opened them.

  “This is amazing,” he said in awe. “Sadly, most of this stuff is useless now. Guess when we discovered electricity we always thought it would be around forever. It's more like a museum than anything else, but still, some of this stuff is so rare.”

  Jane was amused by his enthusiasm, but the items on display didn't interest her in the slightest. Her father had been interested in military history, but it was a hobby that Jane had not shared. She went up to one of the shelves and picked up a few things. They all were dead, useless, and didn't offer her anything other than a grim reminder of the state of the world. Phil was seeing things entirely differently, though. He looked through everything as excitedly as a kid in a candy store, telling Jane little facts about various things he was picking up. She smiled at him, but whatever he was saying went in one ear and straight out the other.

  Then he was silent, and this caught Jane's attention. Strewn around Phil were all manner of things he had pulled out of the closet, but from his silence she deduced he had something precious in his hands. Turning slowly, she saw his wide grin, and her eyes quickly fell to what he was holding.

  “I guess someone here had the same condition I did,” he said. He was holding a long knife attached to a leather strap. The knife had jagged edges with a sharp tip. It was about the length of a hand. The blade was embedded in the leather, which slid over Phil's stump. The strap wrapped around his neck, holding the blade firmly in place. Phil swung his arm back and forth, then jabbed it forward.

  “I could get used to this!” he said, beaming. Jane stepped back, worried that in his excited state he might make an error and end up slashing a little too close for comfort. “You don't think they'll mind me taking this, do you?”

  “I don't see why not. It's probably better that someone should get some use out of it,” Jane said.

  “It looks good on you, although you might want to practice a little more before you wear it around other people, and I'd probably suggest you take it off when you sleep. Wouldn't want you going to scratch yourself and end up slitting your own throat by accident.” Donald, one of the soldiers, was leaning against the door frame. He was the youngest person inside the bunker, aside from Tara, and seemed to have a heavy weight about him.

  “I've been getting used to that already. The amount of times I've gone to use my stump is crazy. You don't mind me taking this, do you?” Phil asked.

  “Nah, most of this stuff was put in here because we thought it was junk,” Donald said.

  “Junk? Junk! This place is a treasure trove!” Phil said. Jane and Donald shared a smile.

  “Look at it this way, Phil. You have plenty of time to search through here and find all these treasures,” Jane said.

  Phil took her at her word and dove back into the pile of treasures, searching through them with ardor. Jane sidled up to Donald, leaning against the wall, still amused by Phil. She wondered if she would find anything that would make her so happy.

  “Seems like a pretty interesting dynamic you have down here, what with
those politicians,” Jane said.

  “Yeah. They showed up together. Well, Megan and Brian came in first. Frank came later. We were on duty here when everything went crazy. I always wondered why they stationed people in this old place, but now I can see why.”

  “What about the other two?”

  “Martha and Belinda? They haven't been here long, actually. They don't speak much. Don't know what they've been through, but it has to be something terrible.”

  “That wouldn't surprise me.”

  “What's it really like out there? We've only heard what the others have told us and, well, between you and me, I've never really trusted politicians.”

  “You're right to,” Jane said, smirking, “but it's crazy. I don't even know where to begin. It's like everyone has just lost their minds. The whole structure of society has crumbled, and nobody knows what to do. We've been captured, and we've been hunted. Yet, somehow, we've managed to survive. There's no sense of humanity out there. We saw people giving themselves over to hedonistic pleasure, and I'm starting to think they had the right idea. I don't want to think about what the future holds for all of us. If it holds anything.”

  “You mean you weren't stirred by the magnificent speech earlier?”

  “No, not in the slightest. I've heard it before. I used to work with Frank. He was...he's not a nice man.”

  “I'm glad you admit it. I didn't want to have to pretend in front of you. He's been acting like a king ever since he came in here, as if he's the next in line to be President. I don't know how he got that idea in his head. It's not like he has anything to rule over. Look at us, you really think it's worth being in charge of this?”

  “Men like Frank want to be in charge wherever they are.”

  “You got that right. So, it's really that bad? I was hoping it wasn't,” Donald said, and then glanced toward the door.

  “Yeah. I wish it wasn't. That's why we’re here. Thought we'd find a safe haven. Not many people know about this place, though. Most people are just left to the whims of fate.”

  “I wish I didn't have to be stuck in here.”

  “You have people outside?”

  “My family. My girl. She's pregnant with my boy. We had so many plans, you know,” he dug into the pocket of his jacket and pulled out a black and white photo. It was the ultrasound image of his unborn son.

  “I was all ready to welcome him into the world in a few months. I've been trying to get everyone to leave this damn bunker and come with me, but nobody will. Steve keeps saying that we have to maintain the chain of command, but it's harder every day. I know she's somewhere out there, waiting for me.”

  “You think she's coming here to look for you?”

  “No,” Donald said, his face ashen. “I wish she would, but not in her condition. She wouldn't do anything to endanger the baby. I was kinda hoping my brother or my mom would be here, though. I thought they might have been you.”

  “I'm sure they're still out there.”

  “I know they are,” Donald said fiercely, “and I'll be out there soon enough.”

  “You mean that?”

  “I have the due date marked on my calendar. I'm not going to miss it. I'm going to stay here until the last possible moment, just in case they do show up, but then I'm gone. I don't care what Steven or anyone else thinks. I need to be with my family. They're all I have left.”

  Jane admired the man's determination and wished she had the strength of that foundation. She had devoted herself to her career for so long that she had no family to care for. Now that her career was gone there was no driving force in her life, except for the people around her. Tony and the others, they were her family now, and she wanted to do the best for them. While she was glad she wasn't alone with Frank, she also knew Tony was right, being in this bunker was the best thing for them. It wasn't going to be easy to be in such close proximity to him. Even now Jane could hear his deep laugh, and it made her skin crawl. They would find a way to get out of this bunker, and to get Donald back with his family.

  “What about the two women? Where did they come from?” she asked.

  “None of us know. That's the other reason why I decided to stick around for so long. Didn't want to leave Rosa and Steven short-handed in case anything went down. Might be different now that you guys are here. You seem capable. Anyway, the two of them came wandering out of the forest about a week ago, maybe a bit longer, maybe a bit less. It's hard to keep track of things sometimes. Too easy for things to blur into one. Sometimes it feels like they've been here forever.

  “Anyway, I was out on a water run when I saw them staggering out. The way they moved, I was afraid they were zombies or something. They were wailing and crying, so I brought them back here. Didn't really know what else to do with them. They gave us their names, but they didn't say anything else. I tried talking to them, we all have, but eventually we all just gave up. Whatever happened to them, they don't want to share it. They eat, they keep to themselves, but other than that they just huddle together. We've kept a close eye on them, just in case.”

  “In case of what?”

  “In case they're spies. You never know who to trust in this world. We can't just let anyone down here. Anyway, I'd better get back, if you don't mind me leaving you guys here?”

  “No, of course not. Thanks, Donald.”

  “Yeah, no worries. Catch you later,” he said.

  “He seemed friendly,” Phil said, still engrossed with everything around. Jane chewed her lip and moved back into the room.

  “I was thinking about exploring the bunker a little bit, maybe getting a better sense of our surroundings?” she said.

  “Sounds good,” Phil said, but didn't make any motion to move. Jane folded her arms across her chest and looked anxiously at the door.

  “You wanna come with?”

  Phil stopped what he was doing and looked at her. Jane knew he saw how scared she was and gave her an understanding look.

  “Of course, just give me a second to clean this up.” Jane helped him pick up everything and put it back where it belonged, although it didn't seem as though there was any sort of filing system in place. After they were done, Jane moved away from the room containing Frank, making sure to stick close to Phil. He was walking with more of a swagger now that he had his new appendage but he also was having to adjust the swaying of his arm. The last thing he wanted was to cause anyone undue injury.

  The two of them explored the remaining rooms of the bunker. They didn't hold much mystery, but at least the exploring kept them occupied.

  “I know this isn't easy for you. I don't know everything that happened, but I've gleaned enough to know that it wasn't anything good. Tony was right in that we'll all protect you,” he said.

  “Thanks Phil,” Jane said, touched by his attitude to life even after having lost an arm and being at the mercy of cannibals.

  “Did not want to sleep with the others?” he asked.

  “Not yet. I'll need to feel safe in this place first. It's probably best this way. They can have their rest. I'd have thought that you'd need some rest too though.”

  “Maybe I do, but sleep doesn't come easily for me nowadays. Sometimes my body is exhausted, but even then, I can't find any peace. The memories you know.” He shrugged. Jane knew all too well what he must have been going through. Closing the eyes meant facing the darkest parts of the mind, the memories that hung like demons, and screamed like banshees. She placed a hand on his arm and squeezed it gently, offering him a sense of comfort and friendship.

  Jane pulled her arm away when they entered a room and saw Martha and Belinda sitting together. When Jane and Phil entered, the two women looked at them with sunken gray eyes, and then went back to staring into nothingness. Their bodies were thin, their clothes tattered and torn. Their hair was tousled and dirty, and from the odor it didn't appear as though they gave much thought to their hygiene. Something would have to be done about that if they all were going to be cooped in this bunker. Phil went
to pull Jane away, but something about these women intrigued her. They were the type of people who so easily could be forgotten in this world. Still, everyone had a story to tell, even the most forgettable person. They may even have been victims of the masked man, and Jane wanted to know what they knew.

  She walked up to them and took a seat beside them. “I don't know if you heard from earlier, but I'm Jane. My friends and I are new here. We come from outside too, the same woods. I just was wondering what had happened to you? Maybe we've seen the same things. We were chased by a masked man. Do you know who I mean? Have you seen him?”

  Belinda looked at her and shook her head slightly. Her eyes were sad, and although Jane pressed them for information they would not speak.

  “Let's go,” Phil said softly, and then he continued speaking when they were out of earshot. “It's a hell of a thing, isn't it? I imagine there are a lot of people who will end up like that. Maybe it's better we don't know what they've seen. Might be best for our own sense of sanity, or whatever is left of that.”

  Jane murmured in agreement. They left the room and rounded the corridor when Jane bumped into Frank. She recoiled and staggered back. Frank licked his lips and locked his gaze upon her, ignoring Phil completely.

  “I was hoping I'd bump into you again. It's been such a long time, Jane. You're looking well, everything considered.” He raised a hand and ran his finger and thumb down a strand of her hair.

  “I don't think you want to be doing that,” Phil said, pointing his new weapon at Frank. Frank sized him up and cocked an eyebrow.

  “Until later,” Frank said. His manner was casual and yet within his eyes loomed a vicious bitterness. Frank was a ruthless man who didn't take kindly to threats and attacks. What Jane had done to him had attracted his wrath, and he would not be satisfied until he dealt his revenge to her.

  “Thank you,” Jane said, trying to stop her voice from shaking, but her knees were weak, and all the strength seemed to have been sapped from her body. How she hated Frank for having this effect on her, and how she hated herself for being so weak. She'd taken self-defense classes. She'd always promised herself that she would be able to take care of herself. Yet, when it came to Frank, she was a vulnerable mess.