I couldn't believe she was going to leave. My blood was boiling like you wouldn't believe. I didn't want to yell. I knew that would only get her going more. If I had any chance of her staying, I needed to stay calm. Just as I went to open my mouth, I looked down and saw a game program on her coffee table. I picked it up and flipped through it for a second getting my thoughts in order.
“When?” I asked.
“What?” she asked, as if she had no fucking clue what I was asking.
I sat down next to her on the couch.
“When did you go to the game?” I asked.
“A few days ago,” she whispered. “The day you got home.”
“You were there,” I said. “I thought about you the whole fucking time. I can't believe you were really there. Did you wear the jersey?”
“Yes,” she said, as she looked down at her hands in her lap. “I'd never be stupid enough to wear it again. I don't care how much it's worth, I don't want it. I don't need any memory of the life you live. I have enough of my own already.”
She was fine the day before that game. Something had to have happened. What the hell could it have been, I wondered?
“What happened?” I asked.
“Nothing,” she said.
I turned toward her, grabbed her hands in mine, and tipped her chin up so I could see her eyes.
“What happened?” I asked again.
“I was watching the game when I was tapped on the shoulder. When I looked back, there was a very pretty woman behind me. She asked about the jersey because it was different than hers. I got to hear about how you fucked her and her friend for hours and how she wanted to be with you again. She basically wanted to know what I did to get the better jersey. I felt like a complete loser. You have no idea what that did. I'd honestly been having more fun than I ever have before, but she ruined it. I got up and left. I can't do it. I can't stay somewhere that I'm going to be reminded over and over that you're someone that matters and that every woman around has fucked you. I don't want the baby there either.”
I let out a long breath. There was nothing I could do about my past. My mind was a mess. She'd gone to a game alone, she'd gotten upset, and she'd decided she was leaving with my child. They were going to be five hours away. I wasn't home enough as it was. I'd barely ever be able to get to Michigan. I knew it was selfish to want her to stay, but I didn't want her to go.
“I have a past,” I said. “There is nothing I can do about that. You know I have a career in ball. I can't help that my life is public. I haven't been with anyone since the first time we were together, Lucy. I'm fucking begging you not to leave. I know I'm not home much. There is nothing I can do to change that.”
“I wouldn't want you to,” she cut in. “I would never want to hold you back. You're good at what you do. If you use that statement against me, I'll kick your ass. I'm just not sure I want to have to deal with it. Scott said.”
“Stop,” I yelled. “I am so fucking tired of Scott being involved in every fucking detail of everything. It is not Scott's job to protect you and take care of everything. Do you hear me? He's got his nose in every part of our relationship. It is none of his damn business what my intentions are with you, what we decide, or what we do. I am so fucking done hearing about him saving the day. I get that you work for him and that his woman is your best friend. I understand all of that. He does not need to be making sure I don't hurt you, asking questions about the baby, or offering you a place to live. Of course he's going to offer you his fucking house. He wants you to leave me. I don't get why. It hurt like hell to find out he knew I was having a baby before I did. It's my fucking job to protect and take care of you and the baby. I can't do that from five hours away, Lucy. I can't do that while you're living in his fucking house.”
“Lance,” she said, as she stood from the couch. “It's not like that. He was just being nice. I didn't mean for him to find out before you. He heard Carrie confront me about not drinking. I had no intention of anyone finding out before you. I would never have done that on purpose. I also didn't intend on your finding out yourself. I'd gone to that hotel to tell you in person. I was flustered and pissed when I saw her at your door, and I forgot to grab the picture on my way out.”
“What would you have done if you'd taken that picture with you?” I asked, as I turned to face away from her.
“What do you mean?” she asked.
“Would you have told me about the baby, or would all of you have hidden it from me?” I asked.
I couldn't help the feelings that were taking me over. It was something I'd never felt before. I couldn't help but wonder if she would have kept the news from me. Would she have raised the baby on her own? Would the whole group of them have turned their backs on me.
“I hadn't thought that far ahead,” she said. “I was hurt, Lance. You have no idea how it felt that night. For a split second I thought you actually cared about me. I was so stupid. I don't know why I let my guard down. I was so damn scared to tell you about the baby. I thought you were going to be so pissed. I honestly thought I was never going to talk to you again. When I opened that door and saw that I'd ruined your plans, I felt like shit. I'm kind of glad she was there. It was a reminder that I'd never be in your league, I'd never be a part of your world. That happened again at the game. It was just the reminder I needed.”
“That night at the hotel, Scott had given me a bunch of shit on the phone. He was pressuring me and telling me if I didn't want more with you then I needed to leave you alone. I was drinking and pissed. You always put down my career and give me shit. She was standing there telling me how great I was. I wrote the room number down and handed it over before I thought. The moment I realized what I'd done, I told myself if she came to my room, I'd turn her away. I didn't want her, Lucy. If you hadn't shown up, I still wouldn't have been with her.”
I stood without saying anything for a few minutes.
“I need you to come with me,” I said. “I have something to show you.”
“I don't think that's a good idea,” she said.
I'd been calm through the whole conversation when I was really about to explode. It wasn't going to last much longer.
“I'm trying not to lose my shit and go caveman on your ass right now. I'm asking you one more time to please get in my car. If you don't, you should be prepared for a shoulder ride there. I am going to show you.”
She narrowed her eyes at me for a second and threw her hand on her hip.
“One,” I said with a smile.
“Fuck you,” she said, as she grabbed her phone and keys and walked out the door.
She could act all big and bad all she wanted. The woman knew I meant what I said and did exactly what she needed to do. I pulled her door shut behind me with complete satisfaction. She was learning quickly what kind of man I was.
She tried to open my car door but couldn't. I laughed as I walked up and unlocked it so I could open it for her. She let out a huff which only made me laugh louder.
“Asshole,” she whispered under her breath as she got in.
I got in the car and drove in silence. She flipped through the radio for less than a minute before shutting it off.
“Where are we going?” she asked.
“You'll see,” I said. “It's not far.”
I drove for less than ten minutes before pulling down a private road that had trees lining both sides. When I got to the end of the short road, everything opened up. I heard her gasp from beside me.
“What is this?” she asked.
The moment she told me she was leaving, I knew I wouldn't let her go. It was me that was supposed to be taking care of them, and I was going to do just that.
I got out of the car, walked around to her side, and reached in to help her out. She took my hand without complaint which brought a smile to my face. We walked a few steps closer to the house, and I turned to face her.
“This is yours,” I said.
Chapter 9
Lucy
“What?” I asked sure that I'd heard him wrong.
“I want to be a part of my baby being born, Firecracker. I know I'm not always here. That is something I can't help, but I want to be here every moment I can be. I'd like to go with you if I'm home, and I want to be there when the little one is born. It's not just about after that matters to me. Every moment is important. I'm asking you to stay and not take my son or daughter away from me before they're even born. I want to be the one to help you and take care of everything you need. Just give me a chance. That is all I'm asking for. I told you I wanted to be closer.”
“You said you were looking for a house for you,” she said.
“I know that,” I said. “I've spent the last couple of days looking. When I saw this house, I thought it was perfect. It's not right by the road. There are trees around, and it's private but still close to the city. It's not far from your job. It has an awesome yard without any dangers but plenty of room for a pool and whatever else you want later. There are four bedrooms. The master is across the hall from another room. It's perfect for raising a baby.”
“It is huge and beautiful, but you said you wanted to be closer. How does you giving me a house make you any closer?” I asked.
“I'm going to move into your apartment once you move in here,” he said.
I narrowed my eyes at him and thought for a moment.
“What?” I asked.
“I want to be closer to you, and you're right, I'm not around every day. It makes sense for you to live here and me to live in your apartment, Lucy. You liked the furniture at my place, right?”
“So,” I said.
“I'm moving it all in here for you. If you don't like it, we can get whatever you want,” he said, as if it were a no brainer.
“Don't you need the furniture in your house for when you're there?” I asked.
“No,” he said.
I looked at him like he was crazy.
“Quit fucking with me, Ballplayer,” I said.
“I put my house up for sale yesterday,” he said.
“You what?” I yelled out barely holding back from freaking out on him. “You love your house.”
“It's not a good house for a baby, Firecracker,” he said, as if I were the one losing it at the moment. “I'm just going to keep the furniture you already have in the apartment if that's okay. It all fits and is already set up. That's one less thing to move.”
“You expect me to live in this huge house with a baby,” I said, as I looked at the size of the house again. “You put your beautiful house up for sale and are moving into my tiny apartment. Do I have that right?”
“Yes,” he said with a nod.
“Have you lost your damn mind?” I asked. “Is this because I said I was moving to Michigan? I don't want anything from you, not one damn dollar, Lance. I will be fine. I've been fine for over five years, and I will continue to be fine. If you want to be in your child's life, I'm fine with that. I am not fine with living in this very expensive house that you've paid for. That is not happening.”
She was shaking her head so much I thought it was going to roll off of her shoulders.
“This has nothing to do with you leaving. My bid was accepted yesterday on this house. I can't take you inside, but I did take some pictures. I didn't bring you with me because of how you're reacting right now. I was so excited this morning to bring you to show you, but instead you rocked my world with your news. The thought of you leaving with my child in or out of your belly tears my fucking apart, Firecracker. This is the only time in my life I will do this, but I am begging you to stay. I will feel better knowing you are here instead of in your apartment. I don't need a house to myself. The apartment is enough, and it will be cheaper than renting a room every time I'm home. You're place is closer to work for me anyway. I don't need that big house or that two hour drive to see you. I care about you and the baby. Please do not let my career or my past ruin me being there for my child. I don't want my entire life public, but it comes with the job. Please stay.”
“I live in that tiny place. How do you expect me to keep this place clean? I'll probably get lost in there. It is beautiful. The brick is awesome. It's two floors beside the basement. The front porch is amazing. Don't get me started on the privacy and woods around. I can't imagine the back. I'm flattered that you would offer this to me, but I don't think I can take it. I can't let you pay for my place to live.”
“I'm not,” he said. “I'm paying for my child's place to live. Since my child is in your stomach, you have to go along for the ride.”
I could see the smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. He was proud that he was able to spin it like he wasn't helping me but the baby.
“Will you stay?” he asked.
“I will stay,” I said. “I'm not sure about this though.”
“I don't get the keys for a month,” he said. “You have time to get used to the idea. Right now, we're going baby shopping. Have you eaten?”
“Yes,” I said. “I'm not going baby shopping with you.”
“You are,” he said. “I'm here for a few days. We're going to pick out what you want for the baby's room in the house. I also want to get a room set up in the apartment. No matter who lives there, the baby needs a killer room.”
“Stop,” I cried out, as tears began sliding down my cheeks. “I can't afford all this, and you are not pulling out your magic card to pay for it all either. I'm serious, Lance.”
He pulled me into his arms and hugged me. I couldn't help but feel that warmth I'd grown used to heat my skin. When my shoulders shook, he pulled back and brushed his thumbs over my cheeks.
“Let me do this, Firecracker,” he said. “I want to do this for the baby. I want to know that everything will be okay and our little one will have everything. You need to let me be a part of this.”
I pulled out of his arms, and he gave me a strange look of confusion.
“Stop acting like you care about me. I'm begging you,” I said.
He walked me to his car and opened the door for me before walking around and getting in his side.
“I do care, Lucy. I'm just as new to this as you are. I want to do this,” he said.
His voice was soft and so damn sexy. I couldn't help it. Everything about the man had my mind going crazy.
“We'll go back to my place and order things online. I don't want to go shopping,” I said.
He turned and gave me the most serious look.
“Are you embarrassed of me?” he asked.
“What?” I said.
“Why won't you go shopping with me. I've asked you to go to a game. You wouldn't, but you went alone. I've asked you to do other things before as well, but you've always turned me down. I want to go shopping for our baby, and you want to go home and get the stuff online. You don't want to be seen with me.”
I shook my head.
“Are you serious right now?” I asked.
“Very,” he said. “Be straight with me, Lucy.”
“I can't believe you would say that. Is this some kind of joke for you?” I asked with an upset tone in my voice.
“No,” he said.
“I'm pregnant, Lance,” I said. “You're going to take the woman you had a drunken night with and got pregnant into a baby store shopping. I'm no genius. What do you think people are going to think? I've seen the women you've hooked up with. They're fucking beautiful. I'm not like any of them. Are you ready to be in the paper with me and you in a baby store? Think about it, Ballplayer. That would not be the smartest move for you.”
“First of all,” he snapped out, as he took my chin and turned me to face him. “Do not ever fucking say it was a drunken night again. Do you hear me? We've been together way more than that one night. Yes, that is when you got pregnant, but we both knew what we were doing. Second of all, you are correct, you are nothing like any of them. That is one of the things I like about you. That mouth is another. That mouth on my cock is even better. Third, I would like n
othing more than to take my child's mother shopping. I don't give two shits what anyone thinks.”
“You do realize it won't be good for your game,” I joked, but he didn't find it at all funny.
“There is no game,” he said. “We are going shopping, and I don't want to hear shit about it.”
He backed his car down the drive and headed to the baby store. The minute we walked through the door, his face lit up. We spent two hours going up and down every aisle playing with all of the toys. It was so much fun. Lance had a cart filled with just toys.
“You do know the baby won't be able to play with this stuff for months?” I asked.
“That's okay,” he said with a smile. “We have to get it.”
We picked out furniture and decorations for the room at the apartment. He was adamant that it be done before he went back out on the road. I assured him we had plenty of time considering I was less than three months pregnant. He didn't care, and I couldn't burst his bubble. The man was like a kid in a candy store, and I wasn't much better. We loaded up his trunk with the toys, decorations, diapers, and clothes the baby just had to have. The furniture was being delivered the following day.
We picked up dinner on the way back to the apartment and watched a movie while we ate. As soon as the movie was over, he was ready to start on the room. There wasn't much in there. I'd already cleared it out, but I didn't mention that to him. He wiped down all the walls and took out anything else that was left. The walls were white, and we knew we weren't painting them. He put up the curtains, shades, and decorations we'd bought. When he started pulling the toys out of the bags, I stopped him.
“I'm exhausted,” I said. “We need to leave all that put away until the furniture comes.”
We put the bags in the closet and looked around the room. He'd done a lot in that short amount of time. I couldn't help but notice the sweat dripping down his face. He'd really worked so hard.
“You might as well stay since the furniture will be here in the morning,” I said. “I can't see you paying for a room when it's already so late. That is unless you want to go to the hotel.”
Playing Hardball: Part 4 Page 4