A Mommy for His Baby

by Molly Evans

  Beau took a look at her, perched on the edge of the new office chair he’d purchased for her while she chatted on the phone.

  “I can see it now, but I can’t... I’m not ready... I’m not sure what I can offer her.”

  “There is no perfect time. No one ever knows when they’re ready. The loss of a loved one is always hardest on those left behind. But life goes on. We grieve and we move on. What I’ve learned about life, Beau, is it’s never too late. If you’re willing to take the chance. No matter what it is. No matter when it is. It could be a busted water pump, a lame horse, or a woman who needs you.”

  He clapped Beau on the shoulder with his good hand.

  “Keith ought to be back in a few, so I’ll finish up with Aurora and then you can take her to lunch or something.”

  Beau watched him chat with Aurora and her sunny smile for a few minutes, then salute as he left the clinic. There was some recurring pain behind that chipper face she presented to the world. He just hoped he hadn’t contributed to it.

  The bell overhead rang as Tim left and Beau cleaned the room, preparing it for the next patient. In this clinic he never knew what there would be going on at any given moment. He separated the used needles and placed them into the disposal container hanging on the wall.

  “I can do that.” Aurora made the offer. She’d entered the room, and he hadn’t even heard her.

  “No problem.” He removed the bloody gauze and tossed it into the trash.

  “So, it’s past lunchtime. Are you going to head out?”

  “We kind of lost our lunch hour with Tim, didn’t we?” he asked.

  “We did. That only gives us about twenty minutes to eat.”

  “That blows my plan, then.”

  “What plan was that?”

  “I thought we could go out for lunch today.”

  They needed to talk—he knew that. Tim’s words had gotten him thinking more than he already had been.

  “Oh, no—not right before Brush Valley Day.” Her eyes widened with concern. “There’s too much to do. How about we go upstairs and make a few sandwiches or something? We can eat and go over the final touches of our plan for tomorrow. Oh, my, it’s tomorrow.”

  She clasped her head with her hands, those blue eyes wide with worry.

  “Relax, will you? It’s just Brush Valley Day.”

  “No, it’s not. It’s the cornerstone of your entire business. I’ve put up notices on the community bulletin board online, on the community TV channel, on Craig’s List, in every library in the county, and at Greg’s Diner, Ramer’s Pub and Grill, and even at the churches. We should be bombarded by people tomorrow.”

  “I can’t believe it. You did all that?”

  His eyes popped wide. How had she accomplished all that on such short notice? Was he so self-absorbed that he hadn’t even seen what she was doing? Hadn’t looked up to notice how wonderful she was and how well she fit into his office and his life?

  Tim was right. He’d been too full of himself back then, but now he had no excuses.

  “I did.” A grin burst across her face. “I want to make a big splash tomorrow. It’s the last community gathering before the weather turns and people will be out in droves. There’s a steam and gas demonstration, old farm equipment on display...the Fosters are having a tractor-pull, and Karen Clever is having a dog wash for charity.”

  “What? How did you find all this out?” He stood, forgetting about cleaning the room. It could wait in light of the exuberance she had going on.

  That beautiful grin returned. “Easy. Just hung out at the beauty shop for an afternoon and got all the gossip.”

  “Gossip?” Basing his practice on gossip was not what he’d been thinking.

  She stepped closer. “On everyone.”

  That made him swallow. “What have you heard?”

  “I’m not telling you.” She pointed to the tray. “Finish up, wash up, and come up. By then I’ll have some lunch made and I’ll tell you everything.”

  With that declaration she left Beau with his mind boggled, his jaw dropped, and his heart hopeful. Tim was right. If he didn’t at least try with Aurora then he didn’t deserve her. He’d loved Julie with all his heart, but Aurora had made him smile again. He was a better person with her in his life. Even if it didn’t last—as much as he wanted it to last forever—he and Chloe would be better off for their time with Aurora.

  With renewed hope in his heart, he washed his hands at the galvanized metal sink and called to Daisy. “Let’s go, girl. We’ve got some work to do. Make sure you act extra-cute, will you?”

  * * *

  After a hurried lunch and a quick return to the office Beau felt a renewed energy of spirit and heart. There was a chance for him to really make a go of things with Aurora, and the potential for building his practice at the clinic was growing by leaps and bounds with her ideas and her energy.

  Aurora hung up the phone with a laugh that caught his attention. “What’s going on?”

  “Oh, that was Mrs. Kinsey. She made an appointment for Monday.” She shook her head and her eyes curled up at the corners.

  As she looked at him Beau’s heart contracted. He realized he was in love with her. He was a dope for not seeing it sooner and doing everything he could to convince her they were meant to be together.

  “What for this time?” He was trying to focus on what she was saying, but his mind kept thinking that he loved her.

  “She twisted her ankle at the Legion Hall dance—or maybe it was the Grange Hall. She said she was at both, so I’m a little confused about that. But, anyway, she wants you to check on it.”

  “Couldn’t she come in today? We’ve got time.”

  “No.” Aurora snorted a laugh and pressed the back of her hand to her nose and mouth as her eyes sparkled with mirth. “She’s going to a seniors’ Championship Twister tournament. She’s in the finals!”

  “Oh, my God!” Beau smiled, then gave a big laugh. “I’ll bet she’s going to twist more than her ankle there. You’d better set her a long appointment on Monday.”

  “I’m sure. I’ve booked her a double appointment.”

  Aurora shut down the computer and stood, then put her hand on her right hip again with a muffled groan.

  “Hip acting up again?”

  “Yes. The chair is great—it’s just the up and down stuff getting to me now.” She nodded. “Since you did the last adjustment I’ve cut down on all of my medications, and now all I take is ibuprofen.”

  “You’ve made remarkable progress. You know that, right?” Somehow he resisted reaching out to her and taking her into his arms.

  “I guess so, but I’m still not ready to swing from the rafters in the barn.”

  “How about before we leave today you let me adjust your back?”

  “No.” She waved him off and glanced away. “We have too much to do to get ready for tomorrow. It’s not important right now.”

  “Aurora, it can’t wait. You’re more important than that stuff. That’s what can wait, not you.” Geez, she still didn’t understand that yet.

  “I don’t want you to think I’m taking advantage of you because we work together.” She gave a hesitant smile, indicating her insecurity about it.

  “That’s not possible—especially when I offer.”

  “It’s not really that bad, Beau—”

  “Hush.” He placed his hands on her shoulders and slowly turned her around. “No one is more important to me than my child...and you.”

  He took a breath after saying the words that might end their relationship right now. Or they could be the words that solidified it.

  “Please let me help you—let me see inside you, Aurora. When we talk about the tough stuff you shut down. I don’t want that. I want to talk about it, bring it o
ut into the light and see it for what it really is.”

  “What is it, then? Really?” Anger sparkled in those eyes. Anger that hid a massive pain.

  “You’ve been hurt. Really hurt. You don’t deserve to feel bad about it all, to carry the weight of others on your shoulders.” Somehow he had to get through to her. Had to make her see how good they could be together. How good they were already.

  “That’s not it. You don’t understand.”

  “That is it. I understand pain, and I understand anger, believe me.”

  “Beau. Please don’t do this. We have other things to do right now.” Tears brimmed in her eyes and two bright splotches appeared in her face.

  Though she tried to resist and move away from him, he held her tight. This was the key to her torment, the reason she’d run and was still running now. Very few people saw who she was instead of seeing the things she did for them. Including him.

  “I’m as guilty as anyone—and I’m here, right now, in front of you, saying I’m sorry. I know I’ve been focused on the clinic and getting things going, and you’ve done so many things for me and with Chloe. I don’t know how I’d have gotten through these weeks without you. I’m also telling you now, Aurora Hunt, that I see you. I see who you are and you are one very awesome woman.”

  She gasped, the tension leaving her shoulders, and stared up at him, uncertainty in her eyes. “I don’t want you to say those things.”

  For a second she dropped her gaze, then looked at him again. There it was. In her face. In her glistening eyes.

  The fear. Fear drove her actions. Right now she was afraid she wasn’t good enough. For him. For Chloe. For anything.

  He cleared his throat and placed his hands on her shoulders, ensuring that she looked at him. It was now or never. If she didn’t stay, then it was his own fault for not asking.

  “We’ve skirted around this issue several times, but I’m going to say it officially. I want you to stay. Here in Pennsylvania. With me...and with Chloe.”

  * * *

  She looked up at him, looked into those amazing green eyes. She couldn’t find any deception, only pure honesty in his face, in his eyes, and tears filled her own eyes as she looked up at this man who had done his best to make a life for himself and his daughter, to create his business. And now he was trying to invite her into it.

  Only she was resisting it. Only she was the one denying it was possible. Only she could see they wouldn’t work.

  “I don’t know what to say...” That it wouldn’t work because he was still in love with his dead wife?

  “How about, Yes, Beau, I’d love for you to adjust my hip, then we can get the rest of our work done?”

  At that, she allowed one corner of her mouth to curve upward as the intent of his words got to her. “Okay. I can go that far for now.”

  “The rest we’ll work on—because you are a treasure, Aurora, whether you know it or not.”

  Once again, he held onto her shoulders until she looked into his eyes.

  “There’s more?”

  “There’s always more. Always going to be more. I’m serious about wanting you to stay with us.”

  The heat of his hands on her shoulders melted into her. She wanted this. Wanted him and baby Chloe.

  “But why? There are so many things you don’t know about me, about my life, about—”

  “I’d like the chance to get to know all of those things, but if you don’t stay we can’t even try.”

  He took a deep breath and the energy in him changed. The vulnerability between them was nearly palpable.

  “I know you’re afraid. I am, too. But together we’re so much stronger than we are alone, don’t you think?”

  That melted her resistance. That made her want to curl up by the fire with him for the rest of her life. But she’d worked so hard to leave this place, to build a life elsewhere—could she put it all aside and reach out to Beau the way he wanted? The way her heart desired?

  “I... I’ll...you’ve given me a lot to think about. Things I never considered when I got here.”

  Swallowing down the fear was hard, so very hard to do. But hadn’t she told Tammie that she wasn’t willing to give up just because it was hard?

  Here was her defining moment.

  Did she want Beau and Chloe more than she wanted to give in to the fear?

  “I know. I never expected this either.”

  A tremor pulsed in his hands and she felt it inside her. He was as uncertain as she was, but at least he was willing to try. He was willing to give them a chance. To be a family together.

  “We’re good together, Aurora. You can see that, can’t you?”

  His eyes begged for her understanding. His face, the intensity of it, drew her closer as his hands drew her toward him.

  “I want this, Beau. I want it so much. But I’m so afraid.” She shook her head. It had to be said. The elephant in the room between them wasn’t going away.

  “Tell me—what are you afraid of? I can help you.”

  “I’m afraid of giving up everything I’ve worked for. My independence. I spent so long living by my parents’ plan... When I finally broke free I never wanted to go back. But that stupid accident forced me down another path. One I didn’t want but that led me to you. Now I feel so broken I’m worried I’m not good enough for you. What if I’m not as good as Julie? What if our relationship never measures up to what you had with her and we don’t work? Then we’ll both be hurt. And I don’t want to risk our friendship.”

  He drew in a breath, as if she’d slapped him. In a way, she had. But it was the truth. It had had to be said.

  He tried to talk, but no words came out of this throat.

  “Wow. Just...wow.”

  He released her and paced across the room. With one hand he raked his hair back from his face, then faced her in a flash, shock and pain evident in his eyes.

  “I had no idea, Aurora. No idea you thought this way.”

  Tears overflowed. “I’m so sorry, but I had to say it. I’m just so afraid what we have now isn’t going to be as good as what you had with Julie, and you’ll be disappointed, and angry...”

  Her hands trembled and she clasped them together against her middle as she said the final words of fear that lingered in her heart. The final words that could end her relationship with Beau permanently.

  “I’m afraid to lose everything I’ve worked for. To lose our friendship. My heart has been battered and broken so much already.” A ragged breath huffed out of her throat. “I love you and Chloe, and nothing would make me happier than to be with you, but I’m afraid I’ll never measure up to what you had. And I’m not sure I’m prepared to take the risk.”

  Without a word, Beau strode past her and out the door.

  * * *

  Brush Valley Day arrived very early for Aurora. She’d set her alarm for five a.m. as she had so much to do before the festival. Somehow, in these weeks she’d been working with Beau, she’d begun to claim some ownership of the little clinic in her rural home town. Today she wanted to show it off. And not just to help increase Beau’s business. If she were being honest about it, she was proud of what they’d accomplished in such a short time.

  That thought made her pause.

  They’d definitely accomplished a lot in the office and in renewing their friendship. Was she wrong to have balked at Beau’s words last night? Why could she throw herself wholeheartedly into her job, yet when it came to happiness she wasn’t willing to take the risk?

  For weeks she’d been excited about today, but now she wasn’t as eager as she’d expected. The conversation they’d had last night had cut severely into her joy. Last night things had gone all wrong. The pain in his face had been caused by her words and she wished she’d never said anything.

  The a
che in her heart wasn’t going to go away until they talked again. If he even showed up. If he ever talked to her again.

  She needed to focus on what was right in front of her. It was the only thing she could do—carry on with the plan. It might be the last thing she could do for Beau.

  She staked out a choice location close to the chicken stand. Ever the opportunist, she thought she could hand out fliers on esophageal reflux and indigestion while people were in the midst of a digestive flare-up.

  Though she thought of all those things, the joy of the day had been dampened and the sun was hardly above the horizon.

  Scanning the street for his vehicle, she sighed. If she and Beau were at odds, this was going to be a very long day.

  Finally Beau’s SUV backed up into the space beside her car and she hurried over to him.

  “I’m so glad you decided to come.” Trying not to panic, she took a breath and hoped her deodorant was going to live up to its all-day reputation.

  “Why wouldn’t I? We’ve been planning this for weeks.”

  “Well, after last night... I thought you might...not come.”

  “Never even considered it.” Beau squeezed one of her shoulders. “Let’s get moving, shall we?”

  Beau looked at his watch and gave her that grin of his. There was just a hint of the pain from last night in his eyes. Apparently he’d decided to set it aside for today. For right now, for the sake of the festival, she’d go with it. Who knew what kind of relationship they’d have after that? If any.

  “Well. Okay. I’m anxious about getting things set up.”

  And a lot of other things. She shot him another glance, but he maintained his composure, his demeanor, and she relaxed a little. Maybe they could get through the day on an equal footing before he told her to get out of his life.

  “If you can help me with the table, we’ll get everything rolling.”

  “Lead the way.”

  They worked together to get the display and the sun shade up before the first events of the day began. For a few hours they tag-teamed, alternating offering flu shots and blood pressure checks, taking down contact information and handing out fliers.