DIRTY COWBOY

by Trejo, Erin

  “Yeah. She got out one day. Couldn’t find her for nothing. I mean, I searched everywhere for her. It’s not like she’s special in any way or anything but for some reason mom likes her the most. Anyway, she got out and got pregnant. I didn’t have a clue until some Australian guy tracked me down to bring her home. Turns out he had a goat of his own.”

  “They had a baby together?” I ask excitedly.

  “Yeah. Seems he was on a road trip when he came across her. They hooked up like a bunch of rabbits apparently.” A giggle escapes me at his words.

  “That is kind of sweet isn’t it?”

  “Yeah. What’s even better? He comes once a year now and brings his goat to visit his baby mommy.”

  “They’re goats, Gentry. I don’t think baby mommy applies to them.”

  “And why not? They have kid together. To me that’s enough for baby mommy status,” he adds playfully.

  “Did this really happen or are you making it all up? How would one man on a road trip happen to have a goat of his own and come across yours? That just sounds like something you made up.” Gentry looks offended by what I just said but the look in his eyes is even better.

  “Why would I make that up? Call it goat fate. I don’t know. He had a goat! You can’t make this up, Hope. I swear to you.”

  “And an Australian man? I have never heard of Australian men keeping goats, Gentry.”

  “Do we look like we’re in Australia? And why can’t an Australian man have a goat? You have some sort of prejudice against Australians and goats?” He asks raising his eyebrow. He of all people would take it that way.

  “That is not what I meant and you know it.”

  “You need a shower,” he adds moving to walk past me.

  “Are you kidding me? Nice change of subject by the way.”

  “I’m sorry, I can’t stand here smelling you like that anymore. If the subject needed changing to accomplish that, then so be it.”

  “You’re mean as sin, Gentry.”

  “And you scared my goat. She’s probably scarred for life now.”

  “She’s fine! You said so yourself.”

  “Might have left some kind of lasting damage.”

  4

  Gentry

  This is not how I pictured my night going but nevertheless, I sit back and watch the people around me dancing. When Hope demanded Dawson take her out tonight I decided to tag along. If she was going to make a fool out of herself, I wanted to be here to witness it. Tipping my beer to my lips, I take a long pull while I watch her dance with him. It’s been far too long since she’s danced or had sex, I can tell just by looking at her. Her body screams to be touched and I want to be the one touching it. Memories of our time in high school invade my thoughts.

  “Can I buy you a drink?” someone hollers in my ear. Turning my head, I see a pretty little blonde smiling at me. She isn’t bad, big tits to match those big lips.

  “Got one,” I tell her raising my beer. Truth is, since Hope came back around I haven’t thought of any woman but her. I find myself wondering what she looks like in less clothes, naked save my cowboy hat. Now that’s a vision. One you’re going to keep having since she isn’t yours anymore.

  It’s only been a few weeks of her being here. For the most part she stays to herself in her room, not that that helps me at all. I can picture her naked all night long right down the hall. I shake my head trying to rid the thoughts. Pulling my gaze back the dancefloor, I see Dawson whispering something in her ear. She nods her head but I see a slight frown on her face. Dawson walks away, heading toward the bathroom when I decide to move in. Shoving myself off the stool I’d been sitting on I head onto the dance floor just as she tries to walk off. I wrap my hands around her trim waist and pull her back into my body and groan.

  “What are you doing?” she asks, looking over her shoulder at me.

  “Dancing with you,” I inform her.

  “This isn’t a slow song, Gentry.”

  I know it’s not, but that’s the way I hold her and move her. I want to feel her. I want her body pressed to mine.

  “So?” I spin her body around so that I can look her in the eyes. Her lips part as she looks up at me. Just then the song changes to something slow. I begin to move us to the music, Hope wrapping her arms around my neck. She lets me guide us slowly around the dance floor. Her chest rises and falls rapidly even though we aren’t moving very quickly.

  “What’s wrong?” I ask her. I know what she’s thinking. She’s remembering this. Remembering us.

  “Nothing. I should go.” She looks to be sad, maybe a little panicky.

  She tries to pull away but I don’t let her. Instead, I pull her in closer. Wrapping my arm around her back, I keep her as close as I can get. My dick thinks that’s a damn good idea too. He springs to life, pressing into her stomach.

  “Really?” she asks a little dazed as she stares up at me, a crooked grin on her face.

  “I can’t help the way my body reacts to you. It’s like he has a mind of his own.”

  “He?” She raises an eyebrow.

  I pull her in tighter, thrusting my hips in her direction. Her lips part, she stares hard. Taking the opportunity, I lean down and press my lips to hers. A shudder races through my body at the taste of her. A million memories wash over me. Every second that we’d spent together in the past have been lingering inside of me just below the surface, and now having her in my arms, tasting her lips brings them all back up. Hope pulls away from me and turns to run from the room, leaving me stunned and alone. I shake my head and walk back over to the bar debating another beer. Thinking better of it, I go outside the same way Hope went. That’s when I see her.

  “What’s wrong?” I ask when I see her bent over with her hands on her knees.

  “Leave me alone, Gentry,” she says between ragged breaths.

  Her sobs rip my chest to shreds. I don’t like seeing a woman cry. Sable tried that but Hope’s tears are real. Instead of leaving her alone, I walk closer, tugging her up until she’s standing and wrap her in my arms. Hope sobs into my chest and I let her. I don’t know what all the pent up emotions are or why, so I just hold her.

  “What’s going on?” Dawson asks when he comes to stand next to us.

  Hope pulls away quickly, wiping at her eyes yet refusing to look at me. “Can you take me home? I just want to go home.”

  Dawson looks from her to me and I nod my head. He ushers Hope toward the car and I watch as they go. Never mind the thoughts of smashing his face with my bare hands. Not that he did anything wrong. Something deep down is being drawn out of me, and I don’t think I like it. It’s her, it’s always been her. I stand with my hands on my hips wondering what’s wrong with me. When I think back on all the women I’ve been with over the years I can see it, I realize I’ve compared them all to her. I’ve looked at them and tried to find pieces of her in them, but they were never there. They all always fell short of what I wanted, or rather who I wanted. That’s why no one ever did it for me. They weren’t Hope.

  I’m so screwed.

  Hope

  Betty just smiles as I grab the bottle of wine.

  “Rough night?”

  “You could say that.”

  “Anything to do with Gentry?” she asks and I nod. “I figured as much. Care to talk about it?”

  “No. I just want to sit down, do a little research, and drink until this bottle is empty,” I tell her with a smile, hoping she didn’t think I was being rude.

  “Well, then that’s what you do.”

  I watch her walk away with the dog trotting close to her heels. Grabbing my laptop off the counter where I left it and my notepad I head out onto the covered back porch. I sit down and fire up my laptop and review the notes I’ve already taken. I take a drink of the wine before pulling my cell out and calling Myra.

  “Are you riding any cowboys yet?” she says instead of her typical hello.

  “Well nice to talk to you too. And no I’m not. I have a q
uestion.”

  “Shoot,” she says as I finger through my notes.

  “In my search for the unknown man, I have found a company name. I’m not at all sure why this company is listed and it doesn’t really go anywhere. You have any pull that we can use to look into this a little further?” My research has been coming along slowly until this little piece of information. This mystery person just doesn’t seem to want to be found.

  “Sure. Give me the name and I will see what I can dig up for you.” I squeal into the line knowing that Myra is a godsend.

  “Waterhouse, Inc. That’s it,” I tell her through a sigh.

  “I’m on it. Let me see what I can get you. I miss you,” she says. That stings a little. I miss her too.

  “I miss you, too. And thank you for doing this for me,” I add.

  “Always here for you. Now go ride a cowboy for me.”

  I hang the phone up and set it on the table as I type in some more searches. Everything I’ve tried comes up blank and that bothers me. I want this article badly. I make a fairly good living with my books but writing full-time for the magazine would be a dream come true.

  After a while of searching and coming up empty, I pull up my manuscript. Taking another drink of wine, I let the words start filling my head. As they do they come to my fingertips and dance across the screen, coming to life. I’m in my zone when I feel his presence behind me. Ignoring him, I continue until he chuckles.

  “You can’t be serious? People read this?” he asks, leaning down and reading over my shoulder.

  I reach up and slam my laptop closed so he can’t see anything else on my screen.

  “What do you want?”

  “You ran out on me. I want to know why.”

  “Which time?” I smart off.

  “Funny. But both.” I sigh and lean back in my chair when he moves to sit next to me. I glance over and take a good look at him.

  “Taking a long hard look, huh?” he teases. “There’s something else that’s long and hard for you to look at.”

  “I felt caged in here, like I was drowning,” I blurt out.

  “That’s funny. I felt the same way in New York,” he admits, taking me by surprise. I would have never have pegged him as feeling caged in there.

  “Really? In that big city?”

  He nods his head and grabs my bottle of wine, looking the label over before bringing it to his lips. I watch him swallow, noting once again the way his throat bobs as he does. Heat coils inside of me as I watch him lower the bottle and lick his lips. He’s way too sexy for his own good.

  “I have to go back to finish up some things.”

  “You’re leaving? When?”

  Do I even care if he’s leaving? Oh, hell yes I do care. Who am I going to ogle when he’s gone?

  “Calm down, city girl. You sound desperate,” he laughs throwing his head back. I scoff and cross my arms over my chest.

  “I am not desperate,” I tell him sticking my tongue out. “I have Dawson.”

  “Really? Because I don’t see him here stripping you naked for that one night stand you were talking about.”

  “I can’t believe you’re leaving,” I reply, refusing to address his comment.

  “Are you going to miss me when I go?” He leans forward and rests his arms on the table in front of him.

  “Not in the slightest. You are very into yourself,” I remind him.

  “No, I just know what I can do and what I am.”

  “Oh, do enlighten me. What can you do?”

  “First, I can peel that shirt off your body, sucking your sweet flesh into my mouth. I can lean in and inhale your scent as I kiss my way down your body,” he says huskily.

  God, the way he’s talking is turning me on. How can anyone do that? With words? Little spasms between my thighs cause me to clench them together tighter.

  “Keep going,” I whisper. He smirks, licks his lips, and continues.

  “I would get you naked so there was nothing between us. I would taste every inch of you. Lick every spot that would make you scream, kiss every part of you. Then I would slide inside of you when you were soaked for me. I would give you the most pleasure that you’ve ever felt. Would you like that?” His blue eyes are sizzling with heat just like my body. “Would you?” he demands an answer, and God help me I give him one.

  “Yes.” The word comes out as a soft moan but he heard it. Licking his lips once more, he leans closer, resting his hand on my knee. My flesh heats from the contact of his skin against mine. His thumb draws slow circles over my skin and I swallow hard. He slowly slips his hand a little farther up my thigh, just to the hem of my shorts. My breath catches in my throat all the while his eyes burn through me.

  “Too bad you won’t get any of that since you’ve sworn off men,” he says pulling his hand away as he stands from the chair. I do the same, climbing to my feet on wobbly legs.

  “You can’t just do that and then walk away!”

  “Why not? You said you didn’t want anything to do with men.” His smile is so damn gorgeous and I’m so damn confused.

  “Gentry,” I whine like a baby who just had her favorite toy stolen away from her. He chuckles and steps into my space. His hand comes up to my cheek, stroking me softly with his thumb.

  “Come with me to New York.”

  I narrow my eyes at him confused as to why he’d even ask me that.

  “What?” Gentry sighs, moving his hands to my arms and rubbing them. “I wasn’t kidding, Hope. When I said I go all in I mean it. I’m no different now than I was back then.”

  “That’s a lie. You’re…bigger and covered in ink,” I laugh.

  “I don’t hear you complaining.”

  “I’m not. I’m just not sure what I want anymore, Gentry. I was with Lance for two years when he cheated on me,” I admit to him. His hands fall away from me and I immediately hate the loss. Gentry takes a step back and walks away from me.

  “You’re just walking away?”

  “What do you want me to do?”

  “I don’t know, just don’t walk away from me,” I plead with him and I don’t know why.

  “Look, I know we haven’t seen each other in a long time, Hope. Do I still feel things for you? Yes, I do. I can’t stop what I feel and I’m not going to try. I’m asking you to come with me because I want to talk to you. I want to get to know you again. That’s it. No strings attached.”

  I open my mouth trying to form words but what do I say to that? “No strings attached?”

  He smirks that dirty little smile at me and me my stomach clenches.

  “Not unless you ask nicely. Strings, ropes, cuffs.”

  “Okay.”

  “Okay to which one?” He raises an eyebrow.

  “I’ll go with you.” He nods and turns to walk inside. I drop back into my chair, running my hand through my hair.

  What am I getting myself into?

  5

  Gentry

  When that damn rooster keeps crowing I remember what pissed me off about the ranch. Ours isn’t just any ranch. My mom runs it like a farm as well. We grow anything and everything you can think of along with the cattle. Mom always had a green thumb and she did well with the crops. I slip out of bed and yawn before grabbing my sweatpants and pulling them on. Slipping my feet into my boots, I grab the first wife beater I can find and tug it over my head on the way out of my room. I scratch at the stubble on my jaw as I drag my ass down the hall to find my mom and Hope in the kitchen already. They are both smiling and laughing until I walk in.

  “What are you doing up already?” my mom asks, reaching for another coffee cup and filling it before sliding it over to me. I’m going to need it today.

  “Peckerhead was crowing again. I think he purposely sits outside my window every morning,” I tell her as I bring the cup of steaming goodness to my lips.

  “Peckerhead? You called the rooster Peckerhead?” Hope asks eyeing me.

  “He acts like one, so yeah.” She rolls he
r eyes while mom laughs.

  “Ask him what he called the goat,” she adds plating some food for all of us. I smirk and shake my head when Hope looks to me for an answer. Which I don’t. I just smirk.

  “The goat that fainted?” Hope asks.

  “When did you see her faint?” Mom asks looking to Hope.

  “Hope scared her to death. Screamed like she was being murdered and scared her half to death. I mean it mom, I thought I was going to have to give that goat CPR!”

  “You said they fainted! Did I really scare her that much? I already feel bad about it, Gentry,” Hope whines. I can’t help but smile.

  “Gentry! Don’t make her feel bad! Hope, do not listen to him. Those goats are called fainting goats for a reason. They pass out when they get scared. Gentry is just trying to mess with you,” mom adds. Hope looks like she’s calmed a little with that.

  “You sure about that? Don’t come crying to me when you go outside and she’s dead. You should have heard her scream, mom. It was worse than nails on a chalkboard. I thought she was going to break glass with that high pitched sound.” Hope’s eyes jerk to mine and I have to stifle a laugh.

  “It was not that high pitched!” Hope protests.

  “Gentry, why are you trying to mess with that girl’s head? Leave her be. Don’t you have something to do?” Mom asks with a playful smile on her face.

  “I suppose I could find something to do.”

  “Good. Bothering that girl is not on your list of things to get done today.”

  “What is on my list?” I ask her raising an eyebrow.

  “I don’t know but bugging her isn’t on it!” I laugh as my mom watches me. I know she’s only playing with me and I love seeing her like that. Things have been hard without dad so to see her smile? It makes everything else worth it. Changing the subject I ask, “You heading into town at all today, Mom?”

  “I don’t think so unless you need something.”

  “You wanted some more flowers out front, figured I’d plant them for you today, but I can run and get them,” I tell her taking a big bite of my food. I’m chewing when Hope clears her throat. “What?” I ask with a mouthful of food.