by Joanna Sims
It took every last ounce of his willpower not to close the distance between them, mold her body into his and taste those full, tempting lips of hers. He wanted to kiss the breath right out of her. Kiss her until the word friend was permanently eradicated from her brain. But whenever he came close to crossing that line, Luke would look down at her belly, and that would stop him cold.
His nephew was the only thing that sobered him up and helped him keep his hands, and lips, to himself.
Sophia watched the expression in Luke’s eyes as they roamed her face. She had to admit that the look he was giving her was more sensual than “friendly.” He was looking at her with the same hungry expression he had given the apple pie she had baked the day before.
She shifted uncomfortably under his scrutiny. He wasn’t saying a word; he just stood there and stared at her with an undeniably provocative look in his eyes. She opened her mouth to break the silence, but Luke broke the silence for her.
“You really know how to piss me off.”
That shattered the tension, and she laughed out loud. Her hands went to her hips again and she smiled up at him.
“You really tick me off too, Luke.”
He took another step down. “No one speaks to me the way you do.”
“I know,” she agreed easily.
“Then why do I let you?” he asked, his eyes never leaving hers.
She shrugged. “I’m your friend.” For some reason, she felt that she needed to establish that boundary between them.
Luke’s eyes took in the features of her face until they finally stopped at her mouth and lingered. She involuntarily licked her lips. His eyes traveled slowly back up to her eyes, and there was a satisfied glint in his.
“I don’t have any female friends.” There was a husky quality in his voice that sent a shiver right up her spine. Her heart started to thud and she felt weak in the knees.
She touched her hair nervously and wondered how he had turned the tables on her so quickly. “There’s a first time for everything.”
“Perhaps...” Luke said softly; she had the distinct feeling that he was saying that just to shut her up. Either way, Sophia was thrown off by the predatory look in Luke’s eyes. She had never seen it before, but every nerve in her body was responding to it.
For a split second she wondered if this was “the look” Allie had mentioned, but her brain immediately rejected it.
The lengths this man would go to get out of something! It had to be that. He wasn’t so hard up that he would desire a woman as pregnant as she was. She was nearly bursting at the seams and getting bigger by the minute!
She took a step back; she wanted to put a bit of space between Luke and herself. Her body was betraying her, but her mind was on task.
“Are we going, then?”
His expression shifted from predatory to amused. “You’re relentless.”
“Yes. I am.”
He leaned back against the railing. “Why is this so important to you?”
“Why was it so important for you to come here a week early so we could work things out between us without an audience?”
“I knew it was best for you. For us.”
“Exactly.” She finally had him right where she wanted him. Luke never argued with logic. “I know this is best for you. For us. You need to say goodbye to Daniel without an audience. Once your family gets here, you know how your mom will react. It’s not like you will be able to avoid the cemetery forever. Let’s do it now.”
“All right.”
He conceded so easily that Sophia had to confirm it. “All right?”
“Is there an echo in here?” Luke started up the stairs. Sophia followed. So did Ranger.
“Oh, be quiet!” Sophia said playfully. “If you weren’t such a stubborn pain in the rear end, we would already be halfway there!”
They parted at their doors. He saluted her. “Touché.”
They threw on their winter clothes and loaded into his father’s dark blue Ford truck. Sophia wrapped her arms tightly around her body and watched her breath materialize as a curl of steam in front of her face. She pulled her scarf up over her mouth and nose.
The tires crunched on the packed snow as Luke slowly drove the truck up the driveway to the main road. “It’s a snow sky,” he said.
Sophia nodded but didn’t uncover her face. Luke glanced over at her with an amused look. He didn’t seem the least bit bothered by the frigid air in the truck.
She pulled down her scarf. “I thought it was hot in Afghanistan.”
“It is. But it’s freezing in the mountains. This is nothing.”
She pulled the scarf back over her face and waited for the heater to start working. They were halfway to the family’s church before Sophia felt the heat blast into her eyes. It was right about the time her stomach started to churn with nerves. She had been so determined to get Luke to the gravesite that she hadn’t considered her own feelings about seeing Daniel’s grave again. His mother went to the site every week, no matter what the weather. Hank and Tyler hadn’t been back since the funeral. She had made the trip a few times, but she always felt like crying when she did, so she had stopped. Until now. Until Luke. This was something that she simply had to do, tears or no tears.
Her hands started to sweat inside her gloves and she felt nauseous as they pulled into the abandoned churchyard. Most of the headstones in the small graveyard to the left of the church were covered with snow and ice. Some had been cleared by relatives.
Luke shifted the truck into Park and he leaned forward to rest his weight on the steering wheel. He looked at the headstones, his expression unreadable.
But Sophia could imagine what he was thinking. It never occurred to either one of them that Daniel would leave them so soon. Luke had tempted death for a decade, and yet his brother was the one to lose his life to war.
No doubt Luke couldn’t make sense of that contradiction.
None of them could.
“No time like the present,” Luke finally said and switched off the engine. He met her at her side of the truck and helped her out. “Lead the way,” he said, and she complied.
They walked together slowly, arm in arm. She held on tightly to Luke’s arm so she wouldn’t slip. The baby, who had started to kick her furiously during the ride to the church, had suddenly quieted.
She pointed ahead. “He’s down this row. At the very end. Under that tree.”
The short walk seemed to take forever, until they finally reached Daniel’s resting place. Luke’s face was devoid of expression as he stared down at the snow-covered headstone that marked his twin’s grave. He stood perfectly still, at attention; both of his hands gripped the handle of his cane as he stared at the grave.
Sophia unhooked her hand from his arm and bent down to brush the snow from the headstone.
“Careful,” Luke ordered, softly.
Sophia nodded and continued with her task. She wanted Luke to see Daniel’s name. She lowered herself down, used the headstone for support, before she brushed the snow from the name.
When Daniel’s name was exposed, Sophia shook her head slightly. “Hello, my dear husband...my dear friend.” She pressed her fingertips to her lips and then pressed her fingers to the headstone.
She looked over her shoulder. Luke hadn’t moved. She reached her hand out to him and he helped her to her feet. They stood side by side; neither of them said a word. Luke’s arm came around her shoulders and he squeezed her. She leaned into him, glad for his offer of comfort and warmth.
Words didn’t help. Words didn’t change anything. They both knew that. But being there with Luke did make her feel better, and she could only hope that he was feeling the same way about her presence.
Finally, silently, Luke walked over to the headstone and touched it with his gloved hand. He said something under his breath that she couldn’t make out before he turned back to her and nodded his head.
She knew he’d seen enough. So had she.
It
was a quiet ride back to the ranch. It was a quiet walk back into the house. After they dropped their coats and boots at the front door, Luke went to the stairs while Sophia paused at the kitchen doorway.
“I’m going to take a shower,” Luke said. “Are you okay?”
Sophia nodded. This was the caring side of Luke she was starting to get to know. That she was starting to love. “I’m okay.”
“I’ll get a fire going when I’m done.”
“Sounds good,” she said. “Luke?”
“Hmm?” When he turned toward her, she could suddenly see how weary he was. How his leg and Daniel’s death had worn on him. She could see it because he wasn’t bothering to hide it from her.
“It really is a stupid thing our society tells boys about crying. Men should cry if they lose someone they love. I’m not going to fill little Danny’s head with that nonsense. If men weren’t supposed to cry, why would God give them tear ducts?”
Luke gave her a halfhearted smile. “I’ll get that fire going soon.”
“Okay.” She had said her piece; time to let Luke work things out for himself.
In the shower, Luke pressed his hands against the wall and let the hot water run down his face. It burned and the burn felt good. What was Sophia doing to him? What was that woman doing?
She seemed to be able to see right through him. No one had ever been able to read him this well, other than Dan. Dan knew him inside and out. Now it seemed that Sophia knew him, too. The woman had pushed him right up to the edge, and then, when they had gotten home, she had booted him right over it.
He bent his head down and closed his eyes. Tears squeezed out of his eyes and blended with the steaming water from the showerhead. It felt right to cry for his brother.
It was the release he needed. And the fact that Sophia had given him permission had somehow made it possible. That woman already had his heart; now she had wormed her way right into his brain.
He loved her more now than he ever had before. Perhaps he was truly loving her for the first time; perhaps before, he had loved the woman he had thought she was, and now he was loving the woman he knew her to be.
Either way, that woman had him, heart, mind, body and soul. He was hers. She might not want him. But she had him.
Chapter Nine
She found him later in the library building the fire he had promised her. He greeted her with his version of a smile, and she could see that he was clean-shaven and refreshed. She curled up in her favorite chair and pulled the comforter over her legs. Ranger, who had been keeping her company in the kitchen, dragged himself up onto the ottoman and shared a corner of the comforter with her.
“How’s it going?” she asked him as she watched him build the fire. His back was wide and the muscles rippled beneath the cotton of his T-shirt as he loaded wood into the fireplace. The man was covered in hard, thick muscle, where Daniel had been a lean runner. Both were very appealing physiques in their own way. With his back turned, her eyes roamed over his body without censure. There was something she particularly enjoyed about how the muscles bulged in his arms whenever he tensed them in the slightest way.
She also enjoyed the feel of his strong, thick arms beneath her fingers whenever she had to hold on to him for balance. In the beginning, she had spent all of her time with Luke picking out all of the details that reminded her of Daniel. Now she found that she spent most of her time noticing the little details that made Luke distinctly Luke.
Luke held on to his cane and levered himself up. He watched the fire for a moment, made certain that the flame caught, before he set himself down on the couch. Then, he answered her question.
“I’ve recovered from our little field trip, if that’s what you’re getting at.”
“That’s what I was getting at.” There was a smile in her voice. She snuggled farther down into the chair, pulled the comforter up to her chest and sighed happily.
“I’m so glad that you showed up, Luke. These fires are the best part of my day.”
He didn’t respond with words, but he did give her a slight nod. That was another thing she had to become accustomed to with Luke; he was a man of few words. His actions were his words, and it had always been the exact opposite with Daniel. Daniel would talk your ear off without thinking twice. It was hard to pry a full sentence out of Luke most of the time, but she was learning to enjoy the silences between them. She was also learning to pay close attention to what Luke did say, because each word counted for something, and he never said anything he didn’t mean. She loved that about him. As it turned out, there were many things that she loved about Luke. She loved his strength, she loved his honesty and she loved the fact that he thought of her baby as his own.
Perhaps she had always loved him, in her own way; she just hadn’t realized it until Luke had come home early for her sake. That one act opened her eyes. And her heart.
“Can I ask you a question?” she broke the silence.
“Shoot.”
“Have you ever thought about getting out?”
“Out of what?”
“You know...the military?”
Luke glanced over at her. He had rested his chin in the palm of his hand; his legs were stretched out in front of him. “No.”
“Not once?”
“Not once,” Luke said without hesitation.
She paused for a minute before she continued. “Not even after your leg?”
“No.”
For some ridiculous, unknown reason, her heart sank. What did she think? That one week with her would make him quit his military career? One week with her, and he would be willing to stop putting his life in danger, come to Boston and get to know his nephew in a way that his brother would never be able to do?
Unfortunately, there was a part of her that didn’t think this sounded all that unreasonable.
“Not even after Daniel?” Yes, she went there. She didn’t know why she went there, but she did.
“No,” Luke replied smoothly. “Not even then.”
“Why not?” Her voice sounded shrill.
“The military is my life. It’s the only life I know. I wouldn’t know who I was without it.”
“So, you’re going to retire a marine?”
“That’s the plan. God willing.”
“Or die a marine.” There was a bite in her tone.
That got his attention. His eyes were focused directly on her. “Either way, I’m going to die a marine.”
“And what happened the other night doesn’t bother you?”
“Nothing happened.” Luke’s granite expression was back in place.
“Something happened.”
Luke leaned forward and rubbed the palms of his hands together. “You need to learn when to leave well enough alone with me, Soph. I’m not Dan.”
“I never said you were,” she said in a low, calm tone. “All I’m doing is having a conversation with a friend. Perhaps you should ask yourself why you’re getting so defensive.”
Luke sliced the air with his hand. “I’m not going to ask myself a damn thing when it comes to the other night.”
“That’s where you and Daniel are one and the same... You’re both so pigheaded. There’s no reasoning with either one of you! Stubborn jackasses right to the core!”
Luke sat back and crossed his arms over his chest. “Is that your professional opinion?”
Sophia felt her blood pressure skyrocket. “You might not want to hear it, but I work with men and women coming back from combat, and all of them have some sort of post-traumatic stress. I’ve seen it time and time again. You’re tough, but you aren’t immune. And being a soldier isn’t everything you crack it up to be. Most of the time, the military just chews you up and spits you out when they’re done. A lot of the veterans I see don’t ever get the help they truly need.”
Luke didn’t respond for a minute, let the silence drag on. Then he said stiffly, “Are you done?”
“Yes.”
“Are you sure?”
&nb
sp; “I said yes, you royal pain in the butt!”
Sophia stopped talking and started watching the fire. She hadn’t liked any of his answers, but she hadn’t been a bit surprised. Any thoughts she had conjured up recently of Luke leaving the military in order to get to know her son was all a bunch of fantasizing. She had only herself to blame for the disappointment she felt. She wasn’t being reasonable.
He was still staring at her, probably sizing her up, trying to figure out her angle. Finally, he restarted the conversation.
“What would you have me do? Give up my life? To do what, exactly? I’m no rancher.”
She shrugged beneath the comforter. “I wasn’t thinking of anything specific. I was just wondering if you thought you should give your family a break. Your mom shouldn’t have to worry about losing another son.”
“And what about you?” There was a gravelly quality to his voice that made her move her eyes from the fire to his face.
“What about me?”
“I thought maybe you didn’t want to lose another Brand man.”
Another bull’s-eye. Did the man know absolutely everything that was in her head? It was unnerving!
Sophia pushed herself up a bit and met his gaze head-on. “I suppose I was talking about myself, too. More about my son, actually. You are the closest thing to Daniel he’s ever going to have. It’d be nice if you didn’t go off and get yourself blown up, as well.”
What she had said sounded harsher in words than it had in her head, but it was the truth, and she couldn’t make herself regret saying it.
To her surprise, Luke said, “I’ve thought about that.”
“You have?”
“Quite a bit. That boy you’re carrying is the closest link I have to my brother. He’s my top priority, and whether you believe it or not, that’s a strange concept for me. Nothing has ever taken priority over my career, and I sure as hell didn’t expect it to happen now.” He pinned her with his sky-blue eyes. “But it has happened, and I want little Danny to know me. I want to know him. Without my damned consent, you and your boy have changed everything!”