by Joanna Sims
Quietly, she said, “I didn’t know you’d given it that much thought.”
“How could you unless I spelled it out? We’ve never been great at getting to the heart of things with each other....”
“Past tense,” she added.
“I hope that’s the case.” Luke rubbed his hands together. “I’m trying here, Soph. I don’t always do the right thing, and I sure as hell don’t always say the right thing. But I am trying.”
“I know you are, Luke. And I’m trying, too. You don’t know how good it is to hear you say you want to be a big part of Danny’s life. It means more to me than anything. It’s a blessing.”
“He’s the blessing,” Luke said without hesitation. “That boy—” he nodded toward her belly “—is the blessing. To me.”
“It makes me feel good to hear you say that, too. Honestly, because of our past, I didn’t really know how you’d feel about this baby. And, no matter what I tell other people, or what kind of brave front I put on, I’d be lying if I said that I’m not scared that I won’t be able to raise Danny on my own without...”
“You’re not on your own,” Luke broke in. “You have me. The two of you have me. I’ll help take care of Danny any way I can.” He rubbed his hands together and dropped his head. “And, if you let me, I’ll come to Boston and visit the two of your whenever I can.”
Her words caught a bit in her throat as they came out. “I’d like that. You’re welcome anytime.”
Luke sat back and gave a nod. Business was conducted, and concluded, satisfactorily. “Good. I’m glad we worked that out.”
She could still feel his eyes on her, and then he said, “You aren’t going to start crying again, are you?”
“You’re not going to let me live that down, are you? I’m pregnant, you know. I do have hormone issues!”
Luke held up his hand in quick defeat. “Hey, I was just going to offer you a box of tissues or something.”
“Or a Christmas stocking, Captain?” she threw back quickly.
He winked at her. “Whatever works.”
* * *
The next morning, Luke was the one to answer the phone when his family made their daily “checkup” call to Sophia. It was time to give them fair warning that he was at the ranch, and from the anxious sound in his mother’s voice, he had no doubt that they would be moving up their arrival time. His family couldn’t wait to welcome him home, and he was grateful. But there was a very real part of him that didn’t want to deal with anyone other than Sophia. Selfishly, as much as he loved his parents and his siblings, this time alone with the woman he loved had been a dream coming true. He hated for it to end.
Once his family arrived, the dynamic between them would change. It was inevitable. The minute you threw other people into the mix, that was the result. And Luke didn’t want things to change between Sophia and him. He liked things just as they were. Other than the fact that he wasn’t at liberty to hug her, caress her and kiss her anytime he pleased, which would be his ultimate and impossible scenario, things couldn’t be better.
But, on the flip side, having his family as a buffer might just be the very thing he needed. His desire for Sophia was escalating every day. He went to bed wanting her and he awakened wanting her. And the more receptive she was to him, the more she began to warm to him, the harder it was for him not to act on the impulse radiating from the lower half of his body.
Making love to Sophia was never far from his mind. No matter what time of the day. No matter what they were doing. He wanted to make love to her. He wanted to show her, with his body, how much he loved her.
In fact, day by day, it was becoming less of a want and more of a need. It was starting to become a worst-case scenario. Time to adapt. Time to change up the environment.
His family might just be the dose of reality he needed to get his libido under control. He was certain that having his mother fussing over him as if he was a child would kill his lust quicker than just about anything else could.
“Whatcha reading?” Sophia breezed into the kitchen looking well rested and perky. Her ponytail swung behind her as she walked and her cheeks were flushed, which gave him the impression she had already gotten in her daily yoga stretch.
He held up the baby book he had found in the library.
She gave him a bemused smile. “A little light reading, Captain?”
He didn’t seem the least bit embarrassed for having been caught with the book. Instead, he pointed to something he had just read. “Says here that the baby can hear and recognize voices in the womb.” He pointed at the page with his finger and looked at her. “So, Danny there will be able to recognize me once he makes an entrance.”
She pulled some fruit out of the fridge. As usual, she had misjudged Luke. She would never have expected him to pick up one of her baby books. And yet, not only had he picked up, he was actually reading it!
“Feel free to talk to him whenever you want.” She dumped some fruit into a bowl and brought it over to the table.
Before she could sit down, Luke gestured for her to walk over to where he was sitting. “Bring him over here, then.” This was said gruffly, before he added, more softly, “Please.”
She laughed at him and he liked the sound. “Okay.”
Sophia stood directly in front of Luke and he looked up at her. “Do you mind if I put my hands on your stomach?”
She shook her head at him. “Be my guest.” This was the strangest conversation she had ever had with Luke.
“I wouldn’t expect this from you, Captain Brand,” she said as he positioned his large, warm hands on both sides of her stomach.
“What?”
“What do you mean ‘what’?” she asked incredulously. “This! You and me! You talking to my stomach.” She laughed out loud again. “You have to admit that this is a bizarre scene, considering our history.”
Luke held up his finger to his lips. “Shh. I’m trying to have a conversation with my nephew.”
“Well, excuse me,” she said with playful sarcasm. “Far be it from me to interrupt a personal conversation you’re having with my stomach!”
Luke cleared his throat and acted as if he were about to give an important speech.
“You aren’t handing down orders, you know. Just speak normally,” she said as she watched him with curiosity. The marine in him was always near the surface; everything had to be planned and executed with precision.
He glanced up at her. “Are you being quiet?”
“Are you hurrying up? I’m hungry, and if you don’t mind, I’d like to take my belly over to that chair and eat.” She pointed at her bowl of fruit awaiting her arrival.
He drew his brows together and gave her a slightly disgruntled look, but he complied. After he had a brief conversation with his nephew, he sat back in his chair and seemed satisfied. Sophia didn’t move away immediately. Instead, she reached out and put her fingers on each side of Luke’s lips and lifted up the corners into a makeshift smile.
“How come you don’t smile anymore? You used to smile. Remember? You used to have a nice smile before you became a marine and lost the ability to do it. Do the Marines discourage smiling, too?”
Luke gave her that “you are slightly off your rocker” look that made her smile at him broadly. She pushed up his lips up a little bit higher and said. “There. See? Doesn’t that feel better?”
When she dropped her fingers, Luke’s lips dropped back into their normal, unsmiling position. Sophia sat down and began to wolf down her breakfast.
He hadn’t responded, so she prodded him again. “I’m serious. Your face doesn’t move most of the time; it’s strange. You used to smile all of the time. Now you don’t. Is it against Marines protocol? Do they frown upon it...no pun intended.”
True, she was teasing him, but she was genuinely curious about the fact that Luke had forgotten how to smile.
Luke took a sip of his coffee. “If the Marines wanted us to smile, they would have issued us one.”
“Ah. I see,” Sophia said before she savored her last bite of fruit. “More Marines logic. I still think you could smile once in a while when you’re not in a combat zone. I like it when you smile. You’re handsome when you smile.”
Without hesitation, he said, “Then I’ll smile more when I’m around you.”
“Good. Start now.” He was trying to please her and she was going to let him. Why shouldn’t she?
“How’s this?” Luke lifted up the corners of his mouth.
“Oh, my God!” Sophia shook her head. “Really bad. Really bad! You have to show your teeth. Okay, try again.”
Luke wiped his hand over his goatee, smoothed it down, as if that would help him smile more successfully. He pulled his lips tightly over his teeth and bared them quickly.
“How was that?”
Sophia sighed dramatically and dropped her hand to the table. “You looked like you were in pain. Or crazy. Or both.”
“It couldn’t have been that bad.” Luke crossed his arms over his chest.
Sophia nodded her head several times. “Oh. Yes, it was. Worse. I’ve never seen such a pathetic excuse for a smile. What have they done to you? You can’t even smile properly anymore!”
Luke drained his cup and then winked at her playfully. “But I can jump out of planes and blow stuff up.”
She rolled her eyes. “Fine. Good. Wonderful. You still need to remind your face muscles that they have the ability to move.”
“I’ll get right on it, ma’am,” he said with another wink and his trademark half smile.
After breakfast they spent the rest of the morning preparing for the family to arrive the next day. Sophia was a good housekeeper who bordered on compulsive now that she was pregnant. On the other hand, Luke’s mom was an impeccable housekeeper who knew where everything in her house belonged, right down to the last matchbook.
When the last pillow was plumped and put back into place, Sophia looked around the room with a satisfied nod. “Your mom should approve, don’t you think?”
Luke leaned against the doorway to the sitting room and watched her. He had helped her right up to the last room, but now she could tell by his body language that he was done cleaning for the day. No doubt he was in the mood for an afternoon fire and a nap with Ranger.
“Mom will always find something out of place. It’s just her nature.”
“That’s true. But I’d rather give her less to spot than more.” She looked around again. “And we have the Christmas stuff unpacked. That was a big chore.”
“Relax, Soph. Mom wouldn’t want you wearing yourself down on her account.”
She couldn’t disagree with him, and yet there was something in her that didn’t want to disappoint Barbara. Barbara had always embraced her as her own from the very beginning, which only made her want to please her more. But Luke was right. She had done enough. Her back was starting to ache and she felt weary.
With one last look, Sophia gave in and walked over to where Luke was standing. She faced him and rubbed her back with a sigh.
“It’s going to be strange having everyone here with us. I’m used to it just being the two of us.”
“Me, too.”
Her eyes snapped open wide. His bluntness surprised her. “You, too?”
“I’m not big on crowds. Not even if the crowd consists of my own family.”
“Hmm.”
“Your back hurting?”
She gave a self-effacing laugh. “You know what...it is. I shouldn’t have been so cocky about the fact that it hasn’t for most of my pregnancy.”
“Perhaps you’re doing too much. Maybe you need to take it easy.” He was concerned about her. She heard it in his voice. She could see it in his eyes. “Come here and I’ll rub it for you.”
Sophia hesitated. The thought of Luke putting his hands on her again made her feel nervous; she had such a strange reaction to his touch. But the lure of a back rub won out; she moved closer to him and turned around so he could reach her back. She closed her eyes as his large hands touched her lower back; she could feel the warmth of his hands through the material of her shirt. She pressed back into his hands as his fingers found the spot that bothered her the most. She heard herself spontaneously moan with pleasure.
“I suppose I don’t have to ask how that feels.”
“Uh-uh.” That was all she could say. She didn’t want to talk; she wanted to enjoy.
Luke didn’t tire quickly, and finally, she was the one to end the massage. She stepped away from him, broke the contact between them. Beneath the material of her shirt, her skin felt hot where his hands had touched her.
She turned around to face him. “Thank you. You have no idea how good that felt.”
“My pleasure,” he said in a soft, low tone. “Any time.”
Her laugh sounded a bit nervous even to her own ears. “I may take you up on that.”
After a minute she changed the subject. “You know, all of my friends worked and went to school when they were pregnant. All I’m doing is hanging out here at the ranch. I feel like a real wimp when my body wants to rest.”
“You’re too hard on yourself, Sophia. Why don’t you give yourself a break? You’re a good woman. I don’t know too many women who would put their lives on hold in another state so their in-laws can be a part of their grandson’s beginning. Maybe I don’t know any who would do that, who would be that selfless. You’re helping ease my parents’ pain over losing Dan by being here, and I’m telling you, I have a lot of respect for what you’re doing.”
“Thank you. It just felt like the right thing to do.”
“Like I said. You’re a good woman. The best.”
Sophia cocked her head to the side and looked up at him. “Thank you, Luke. Really. It means a lot to hear you say that. I never thought you liked me much, and I suppose I didn’t think much of you in return; I’m glad those days are behind us. I owe you an apology, I think.”
“You don’t owe me anything.”
“Yes, I do.” She shifted her weight and continued to look up at him. “I misjudged you and I was wrong. You are a good man, Lucas Brand. A truly good and decent man. And for the first time I know why Daniel loved you so much, because, to be perfectly honest, I never got it. But this Luke—” she pointed at him “—is the Luke he knew. Now I know him, too.”
After she finished, they both fell silent. She waited for him to reply, and she supposed he was waiting for her to continue. After a minute, she saw an amused glint enter his eyes.
“What?” she asked in response.
“Sometimes you look at me like you’re looking at something under a microscope,” he said, and she felt a blush of embarrassment creep up her neck. “Makes me wonder if you’re trying to figure out where Dan ends and I begin.”
Now he was looking at her as if she was something under a microscope.
She knew she was turning bright red in the cheeks, and the turn of the conversation was starting to make her feel flushed all over. There was something in Luke’s eyes that made her feel like a desirable woman instead of a woman about to give birth. He was looking at her as if she was a woman worth wanting, and she just couldn’t deny it anymore. Luke found her attractive. And, whether she thought it was appropriate or not, her body was responding to him. All he had to do was sweep her up in that predatory gaze of his and she would start to tingle all over.
Sophia licked her lips and thought about taking a step back from him, but her feet refused to move. Finally, she said, “You’re right. I can’t deny it. In the beginning, I did try to figure out where Daniel ended and you began. I think it was only natural for me to do that. But now...there isn’t anything to figure out. When I look at you, Luke, I don’t see Daniel anymore...I only see you.”
Something primitive flashed in his eyes; something primitive in her nervous system exploded. She should have moved away, but she didn’t. Instead, Luke pushed away from the wall to close the distance between them.
“I’m glad t
o hear it,” he said in that low, gravelly voice of his that sent her pulse racing.
His hands moved to her face; his fingers pushed the tendrils that had escaped from her ponytail away from her forehead. The minute he touched her, the blood started rushing through her veins, and her breathing suddenly felt shallow; she took a sudden deep breath in through her nose. Every fiber in her body wanted to have Luke continue. Every thought in her head was screaming for him to stop.
“What are you doing, Luke?” she heard herself ask in a husky voice that didn’t seem to belong to her.
“You’re standing under the mistletoe.”
She let out a nervous laugh. Truth be told, he was making her feel a bit giddy. “Do you want to kiss my hand again? Is that it?” It was a feeble attempt to put a humorous spin on the uncomfortable situation she found herself in.
“No,” Luke said as he gently titled her chin up so he could look directly into her eyes. “I don’t.”
“What are you doing, Luke?” she asked again, this time more urgently. One of them had to stop, and for some reason that person wasn’t her.
“I’m going to kiss you, Sophia.” Her name rolled off his tongue like a caress.
Her heart skipped a beat and she felt herself lean toward him against her brain’s explicit instructions. “Do you think that’s a good idea?”
His lips hovered just above hers. “No,” he said huskily, “I don’t.”
She was about to continue the conversation when she heard the slam of a car door. It gave her the out she needed, and she took it. “Did you hear that?”
“Yes.” He didn’t budge.
She made an irritated sound and pushed on his chest before she stepped around him. She walked over to the window and looked outside.
“Your mom said that they’d be back tomorrow, right?”
Luke had returned to his spot in the doorway. He seemed irritatingly relaxed as he leaned against the doorjamb, while she felt like a scrambled egg.
“That was the plan.” Luke didn’t seem the least bit distracted by the interruption. He was watching her in an observatory fashion, as if she were some fascinating animal at the zoo. His nonchalance really ticked her off.