by Joanna Sims
Luke saw Sophia sway to the left, saw the color drain from her face, and he was immediately at her side. He steadied her with both of his hands on her shoulders. “Take it easy,” he said gently.
Truth be told, Sophia wasn’t the only one having a physical reaction to the conversation. Luke felt a little sick himself. For the first time in ten years, he didn’t have to hide his feelings from Sophia. It was a relief that he never expected to have. But that relief was overshadowed by fear. The idea of her limiting his contact with her son because it was too awkward between them was tearing him up inside. He knew he could never have Sophia; she would always look at him as a runner-up to Dan. But the boy? He couldn’t stand the thought of losing him.
Sophia opened her eyes once she felt the dizziness pass. She brushed Luke’s hands off her shoulders and moved over to the other side of the small room. Her mind was racing and she didn’t know exactly what she wanted to say. There was a tense silence in the room as they both contemplated each other.
Finally, she said, “You love me?”
The mask was back. “That’s what I said.” Short, clipped, unemotional.
“You’ve been in love with me for ten years?” she elaborated. “Since college?”
“What is it about the answer ‘yes’ that’s confusing you?”
Sophia’s temper flared again. She waved her finger in the air. “Don’t you get sarcastic with me, Luke. I’m not the one who sprang all of this on you when you are nearly nine months pregnant! I have a right to ask a few questions.”
“Technically, you couldn’t spring anything on me when I’m nearly nine months pregnant because I’m not a chick. I don’t have a womb. Or ovaries for that matter, so...”
“Zip it, Brand!” Sophia interrupted him. She started to pace. Periodically, she glanced at him as she moved back and forth in the small room. “I’m pregnant, my husband is gone! I’m stuck in Montana, away from my business, my friends and my life.” She stopped pacing to emphasize her words; she pointed to her chest. “And now I find out that, although you have acted like you couldn’t stand me for the last ten years, you have actually been in love with me for ten years. I believe I’ve earned the right to ask a few questions!”
“Fine.”
“You’re damn right it’s fine!”
“So ask,” Luke said.
“I will!” Sophia started to pace again. When it was time to ask a question, she stopped. “When exactly did all of this ‘falling in love’ take place?”
She sounded like a prosecuting attorney grilling the defense’s star witness. She didn’t care.
Luke pushed away from the desk. “Before I answer any questions, I want you to promise me something.”
“I’m not promising anything at this point,” Sophia said angrily.
“Then this conversation is over.” Luke turned around and grabbed her coat.
“Fine!” Sophia snapped. She knew Luke well enough to know that he would clam up in a heartbeat and never answer her questions. And she wanted answers to those questions. She needed answers to those questions. “What do you want?”
Luke kept the coat in his hands. “I want you to promise me that no matter what I say...no matter how you feel about what I say...you won’t take that baby away from me.”
Sophia felt as if Luke had physically slapped her. She was quiet for a split second before she said, “I wouldn’t ever do that to you. Is that what you think of me?”
“Just promise,” he demanded. She heard pent-up emotion resonating in his voice. It hit her that Luke was truly worried about losing his nephew, and her heart went out to him.
“I promise you, Luke. Of course, I promise. You are the closest thing my son will ever have to his father. I would be crazy to keep the two of you apart,” she said firmly. “And I’m not crazy.”
Luke accepted her answer and dropped her coat back onto the desk.
Satisfied, Luke answered the question. “I fell in love with you the minute I saw you.” Luke was looking over her shoulder.
“When? The day Daniel introduced you to me?” Sophia tried to recall that moment, tried to remember the look in Luke’s eyes. But she could only faintly remember Luke because she had been so wild about Daniel. All of her focus had been on him.
“No.” Luke’s lip raised in a faint smile. “Not that day.” He ran his hands over his cropped hair and sighed. “I fell in love with you weeks before.”
Sophia shook her head. “What are you talking about? I’d never met you before that day.”
“You hadn’t met me. But I had seen you.”
“Where?”
“Nordstrom’s Department Store.”
“Nordstrom’s Department...” Her voice trailed off. She had worked at Nordstrom’s in the fragrance department all through college and graduate school. She rubbed her temples; her head was throbbing.
There was nothing left to lose as far as Luke was concerned, so he added, “You were talking to a customer. The minute I saw you, I stopped in my tracks. You laughed at something, and I fell in love with you on the spot. I’d never seen anyone in my life as gorgeous as you. I still haven’t.”
Her legs felt heavy. She sat down in a chair and tried to process what she had just heard. After a minute, she shook her head and said, “But, if that’s true, why didn’t you come up to me? You never hesitate to go after what you want.”
“You were working.”
“You could have waited.”
“You don’t think I haven’t been kicking myself about that for ten years? If I had just waited, you would have been mine. Mine. Not Dan’s. Mine!” Luke hit himself once on the chest. “But I couldn’t wait. I had a meeting with a recruiter, and I couldn’t be late.”
“You didn’t come back for me.” There was an accusation in her tone.
Luke’s eyes darkened. “Like hell I didn’t!”
Sophia had been staring at her wedding ring. She lifted her eyes to meet his. “When?”
“The next morning. You were gone. The lady you worked with told me you had a family emergency, that you wouldn’t be back for several weeks. She gave out entirely too much information about you, but that’s beside the point.”
“That’s when Grandpa died....”
“I suppose.” Luke sat down in the desk chair so Sophia could look at him without craning her neck.
“I met Daniel when I got back,” Sophia said softly, as much to herself as to Luke. “Are you telling me that this was some bizarre cosmic coincidence? You fall in love with me, and then two weeks later I fall in love with your twin brother?”
This wasn’t a line of questioning Luke wanted to pursue. There were parts of this story that he’d rather leave unsaid.
Sophia noticed Luke’s hesitation and prodded him. “Well?”
Luke took a deep breath in, and let it out in a long, slow, measured breath. “No. It wasn’t a bizarre, cosmic coincidence.”
“Then, what was it?”
“It was Dan being Dan.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Like you said, Dan didn’t have a mean bone in his body. But he was a practical joker. And I was his favorite target.”
“What does that have to do with me?”
“I told him about you.”
“And?” Sophia started to feel queasy. She didn’t like where any of this was going, but she couldn’t stop herself from going there.
Luke leaned back in his chair and met her eyes head-on. “Dan thought it would be funny to beat me to the punch. Ask you out first.”
Luke’s words hit her like a swift kick to the gut. Her nausea worsened. She felt tears well up in her eyes, and spill out onto her cheeks. She swiped them away.
“Are you telling me—” rage was thick in her tone “—that I was a joke to Daniel?”
Her answer was written all over Luke’s face. Enraged, she levered herself up. Once she stood up, she tried to step around Luke to get to the door. Luke sprang into action, grabbed her firm
ly by the shoulders, spun her around to face him and held on to her arms. “Don’t leave here thinking the worst of Dan. He doesn’t deserve that.”
“He doesn’t deserve it? I don’t deserve this! To find out that the last ten years of my life has been based on a joke! My marriage...” She looked down at her belly. “My baby...” She glared up at him. “Why didn’t you stop it? If you were so in love with me, why did you let it go on?”
“You’re a smart woman. Why do you think?”
“I don’t know!” she shouted at him and tried to wiggle away from his grasp. “Let me go!”
“No. I’m not going to let you go. Not this time!” Luke held on to her. “Dammit, Sophia! He fell in love with you. Don’t you get it? Dan fell in love with you!” Luke’s hands left her arms to cup her face. “He took one look at you and he saw everything I saw. You’re so damned beautiful. You’re smart, funny, kind. You’re so good to everyone around you. Why wouldn’t he fall in love with you? He would have been a fool not to!”
Sophia couldn’t speak, but she didn’t try to pull away. Luke’s hands moved from her face to her hair, and then down to her neck.
“When he told me he was in love with you, I didn’t give a damn. I wanted you for myself. But then I saw you with him. When I saw that you were in love with him...”
“You let Daniel have me.”
His hands traveled from the nape of her neck back to her shoulders. The warmth of his hands was replaced by a rush of cold air, which brought with it an undeniable sense of loss.
“Daniel already had you. There wasn’t anything I could do about it.” Luke dropped his hands to his sides as the silence stretched out between them.
Sophia whispered, “So...I could have been married to you.”
Luke said firmly, “I wouldn’t have stopped pursuing you until I’d caught you. Until you were mine.”
“And this baby could have been yours, not Daniel’s.”
“That baby is mine.” His hand went possessively to her stomach.
“I mean, really yours.”
Luke’s eyes raked over her body; his gaze was undeniably predatory and sensual. “Make no mistake about it, Sophia. If you had been mine, I would have been making love to you every chance I got.”
Chapter Thirteen
His hand was still on her stomach, and his lips were so close to hers that she could feel the warmth of his breath on her skin. Every fiber in her being wanted him to engulf her into his arms and kiss her senseless. But her brain wouldn’t cooperate.
“I need to get back.” She stepped away from him.
Luke stepped back as well and jammed his hands into the pocket of his jeans. He didn’t say a word; his eyes were guarded. Silently, Luke helped her into her coat before he put on his. Then he said, “I’ll walk you back.”
“That’s not necessary.” This was said quickly.
“I’ll walk you back,” he repeated quietly, firmly. She could tell by his tone that he wasn’t going to take no for an answer.
Sophia nodded. She was being ridiculous. “You’re probably right.” No sense letting her pride and discomfort put her at risk for slipping on a patch of ice this late in her pregnancy.
As they made their way through the barn, Sophia glanced at Luke from the corner of her eye. Every once in a while, she would see him wince. It was barely perceptible, but she saw it nonetheless.
“Why are you so stubborn about using your cane?”
Luke offered her his arm as they stepped into the snow. “The sooner I can walk without it, the sooner I get back to my men.”
She felt sick at the thought of Luke going back to Afghanistan. Why in the world had she ever allowed herself to care about this man, when all he was going to do was put himself right back into harm’s way? The last thing she needed was to bury another Brand man she loved.
Sophia stopped walking. The thought of losing Luke, the way she lost Daniel, had halted her in her tracks. She couldn’t stand the thought of life without Luke. And in that moment, as that thought pinged through her brain, her muddied emotions began to crystallize. Out of the blue, it struck her like an electric shock. She truly did love Luke. Not as a platonic friend. She loved Luke as a man. And she was scared to death that she was going to lose him.
“What’s wrong?” Luke stuck by her, loyal and dependable, just as Daniel had always said.
Sophia shook her head and didn’t meet his gaze. She started to walk again, anxious now to get back to her room. She needed time to think; she needed time to figure out what to do. She just needed time....
The family was gathered in the kitchen and everyone was talking at once; the conversation was loud and raucous.
“I sent my daughter to college to get an education. I did not send her there to have left-wing liberal professors fill her head with their political agendas! And why, might I ask, isn’t your daughter answering that very expensive phone we pay for every month?” Barb was talking while she rearranged the kitchen.
“Honey, will you please stop rearranging the kitchen every time you get upset? None of us can find anything once you’re done,” Hank asked in a beseeching tone that wasn’t his norm.
Barb addressed her husband; she had a spatula in her hand. “This is how I cope. This is how I’ve always coped. In forty-three and three-quarter years of marriage, have I ever let you starve?” She didn’t wait for him to answer. “No. I haven’t. So, as far as I’m concerned, this is a perfectly acceptable way for me to work through my frustration. And until I give you some reason to complain about how I take care of you, I would appreciate it if you would kindly mind your own business when it comes to my kitchen!”
Hank relented easily. “Fair enough.” He’d been married to Barb long enough to know when to back away.
“Mom.” Jordan drew her mother’s attention away from Hank. “I think this is more about Jo wanting to hang out with her boyfriend over the holidays than a war protest.”
“Boyfriend?” Barbara and Hank asked in unison.
Tyler let out a long, low whistle. “The plot thickens.”
“Not everything’s a joke,” Barb snapped at Tyler, whose grin only grew wider as he winked at Sophia.
“Why haven’t I heard about a boyfriend before now?” Barb zeroed back in on Jordan. “What is going on with your sister?”
Jordan held up her hands. “Hey...don’t put this on me! Why do I always get the blame for every little thing Jo does? I’m not my sister’s keeper....”
“This is payback, if you ask me,” Tyler interjected.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Jordan demanded in an indignant tone.
“That means,” Tyler explained, “that Jo is usually the one getting the third degree about all of the crap you’re normally up to.”
Jordan threw up her hands. “You know what? Instead of giving me the third degree about Jo, why don’t you guys give me a little credit for being here? I’m the one who’s scared to death of flying, and yet I showed up. Shouldn’t I get some sort of praise for that?”
Undeterred by Jordan’s comment, Barb continued with her line of questioning. “Obviously there’s something wrong with this young man, or she wouldn’t be hiding him from us. What does this boy do? Is he in school? How old is he?”
Jordan frowned. “Mom, you need to ask her. For once, I haven’t done anything wrong, and I’m still the one on the chopping block. That’s totally unfair!”
Barbara swiveled her head and looked at Luke. “What do you think about your sister’s behavior?”
“I think that everyone handles grief in their own way, Mom. Dan was Jo’s favorite—that’s not a big secret. Maybe she just couldn’t face Christmas here without him. Either way, it’s up to Jo to explain herself.”
“Thank you, Luke!” Jordan tipped her head back to look at her older brother. “Finally! The voice of reason!”
While the family was distracted by Josephine, Sophia slipped upstairs. She needed to be off on her own to sort things out. She n
eeded solitude. Later she begged off dinner as well, not ready to leave the darkness and quiet of her room. She found herself retrieving one memory after another of her encounters with Luke. Finally his behavior toward her made perfect sense. But even if she had known about Luke’s feelings for her, it wouldn’t have changed anything. Her love for Daniel had been absolute. So, in the end, in the calm aftermath of reasonable thought, it made perfect sense for Daniel and Luke to keep this information from her. Still, now that she knew about Luke’s feelings for her, what next? How would she act? How would they move on? That’s what she needed to figure out, and on that front she didn’t have a single answer. For once, she was truly going to live by Daniel’s favorite motto and “go with the flow,” see how things panned out.
Sometime later Sophia heard Luke enter his room. Her heart seized at the thought of him being so close, and then it started to thud steadily and strongly in her chest. Almost in an automated movement, she threw back the covers and turned on the bedside lamp. The light hurt her eyes and she covered them for a moment. Everything in her was being pulled to Luke’s room. She didn’t know what she would say, but she had an undeniable urge to see him. To touch him.
“And there is the truth of it,” she said to herself softly. She couldn’t deny the magnetic pull she felt whenever Luke was near.
She passed quietly through the bathroom and knocked lightly on the door. Without a word Luke opened the door and let her in. She sat down on the bed next to him, and for several minutes neither one of them spoke.
“Are you okay?” Ever the protector, Luke’s concern was for her.
She nodded and reached out for his hand. “Are you?”
His thumb moved over her wedding band before he gave her hand a squeeze. He left her on the bed and moved to a chair across the room from her. He sat down and began to remove his boots. “Honestly? I’m relieved. I’ve been carrying that around for a long time and I’m glad it’s over.”
Her stomach flip-flopped when he said “it’s over.” “You weren’t going to tell me, were you?”