Finding Wicked

by Kathryn L. James

  We shuffled around in the kitchen and after preparing a delicious looking sandwich, I stared glumly at the plate. Garrett’s grandmother added a sliced pickle and a spoonful of fruit salad mixed with a heavy cream, making me smile.

  “Would you like a glass of wine? It might help you rest.”

  “I’d love a sparkling white if you have some.”

  She opened the beverage cooler, which was filled with bottles, and poured some into a long-stemmed glass. As she moved it across the counter toward me, her soft pink-manicured fingers stayed in place around the base. I looked over to her, finding her eyebrows raised as she nodded.

  “My grandson is a very strong-willed man, my dear. He can be…difficult at times, but I can tell you this: the way he looks at you is the way my late husband used to look at me when we first started dating. John Frank was also very strong-willed and difficult, and he needed a strong-willed woman, as does my grandson.” She arched both of her eyebrows upward.

  Is she saying what I think she is?

  “I believe you understand what I’m telling you.” She grinned and patted my hand before exiting the room.

  I climbed the stairs, carrying the plate of food and the glass of wine. I’d shoved the phone in my back pocket and once I was in my room, I sat on the edge of the bed and dialed my mom’s cell.

  “Hello.” The most beautiful weak voice answered, and I suppressed the sob trying to escape my lips.

  “Mom.” Looking at the sky through the window, I silently said a zillion thank yous. “Oh, Mom…it’s so good to hear your voice.”

  “Jilly said you would be here tomorrow.”

  “That’s what I’ve been told. It’ll be late, but I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

  “Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine.”

  “You don’t sound fine,” she challenged, her voice tired.

  “Are you kidding? It was like being thrown into an unplanned vacation against my will. The island was beautiful, raw, and uninhibited.” I tried to make it sound as pleasant as possible.

  “You never could lie, Brookie.”

  “Really Mom, it wasn’t that bad. The worst part was not having a phone. I couldn’t bear not talking to you or Aunt Jilly. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for you.”

  “You were there. I saw you many times while I was under the anesthesia. Hold on a moment.” Muffled voices sounded in my ear before she came back on the line. “I have to go now my sweet girl—they’re waiting to perform an echocardiogram. I can’t wait to see you and hear all about that boss of yours.”

  “There’s not much to tell, but we’ll talk as soon as I get there.”

  “Love you so much. Jilly swears you weren’t hurt—promise me that’s the truth.”

  “I promise I’m fine. Not a scratch on me.” Except a hickey from a man who’s about to meet his match.

  “I’m so glad you’re safe and sound.”

  “I love you, Mama.”

  “Love you too.”

  After we hung up, I felt bittersweet. I was so happy I’d finally heard her voice. I’d have done anything to lay my head against her and spill my guts, to tell her she’d gotten her wish, that I’d fallen in love again, only this time with a cocky bastard who thought he could shut me out.

  The Mitchells weren’t going to tell me a thing; they’d already proven their loyalty to Garrett—all but one.

  Gammy’s words sank in. Garrett needed a strong woman, and she was encouraging me to fight for us.

  Foregoing the food, I drank the sparkling wine for a little liquid courage and wished I had tequila instead.

  How dare he? How dare he take the cowardly lion way out of this and just walk away? I wanted answers, and I wasn’t stepping foot off that ship without him.

  My stomach clenched. If he thought I might hate him, it had to be something huge, something I probably didn’t want to hear…but I was going to, and I was going to hear it that night.

  Fuck his orders.

  Fuck his relentless, ruthless behavior.

  And fuck his running away.

  I wasn’t going to sit on my ass and wait for him to come to me.

  Can you feel me coming for you Garrett? Can you sense my presence?

  Because I’m coming full force, and if you think I’m meek, the type of woman to bow down to your orders…you should have paid more attention to who I am.

  Chapter 23

  “You can run but you can’t hide.” My thought slipped from my mouth.

  I climbed the stairs to the third floor, peeking inside each room. My chest constricted as I stood in front of the last door; I knew it was the one.

  It had to be.

  Pressing my ear against the solid wooden surface, I didn’t hear a sound. An unsettling feeling rushed through me. I knew he was inside, felt his presence like tiny impulses zinging every nerve in my body.

  It’s now or never.

  With a trembling hand, I slowly turned the knob and blinked hard at the sight.

  Garrett.

  For a long moment, I didn’t move, standing frozen as I took in the sight of him. He was stretched out casually on a dark navy chaise lounge with only a hint of sunlight beaming through the blinds. His bare feet were crossed at the ankles, khaki shorts unsnapped, and—for the love of God—he was shirtless. He was a sight to behold.

  And he was very drunk.

  The empty bottle of scotch lying on the floor beside him was my first clue. The second was the bottle of amber liquid shoved between his thighs, his hand loosely circled around the glass neck.

  I let out the pent-up breath I’d held in, releasing a long exhale, and finally pulled myself out of the momentarily surprised trance. Stepping inside, I closed the door behind me and twisted the knob to lock it before walking toward him, feeling let down. Our talk was going to have to wait.

  Lines creased his forehead and his brows were clenched with a frown. I ran my fingers over his clean-shaven jaw, missing the stubble. He stirred and groaned but his eyes never fluttered.

  “Looks like you get a free pass for now.” I moved the tip of my index finger over the seam of his lips.

  I turned the nautical navy and white striped duvet back and wondered how the hell my small frame was going to pick up Mr. Rock Solid to move him to the bed. Taking the bottle from his hands, I slid it across the bedside table and shook his shoulder.

  “Garrett, wake up for a minute. Let me help you to bed.”

  He moaned and mumbled something incoherent before turning his head the other way.

  “Garrett,” I said, more firmly and loudly while shaking him with a little more gusto. “Get up and walk with me.”

  He just moaned, causing me to roll my eyes.

  “Maybe I should leave your ass here.” I poked his chest.

  Tugging his legs over the edge of the chair, he slumped over with his feet planted on the floor. Slowly he squinted through his lashes and looked in my direction.

  “Brooke?” His voice was hoarse, like his throat was dry and parched.

  “Hey you. Let’s get you to bed.”

  “Leave me…go…” He pulled away so hard his floppy body lost balance and almost rolled onto the floor on the opposite side.

  “If you’re already calling it quits on us, you’ll have to do it when you’re not plastered. Now hush and come on,” I softly ordered, grabbing his upper arm and holding him steady.

  “Never meant…”

  He stopped his sentence, and I didn’t know if it was because he couldn’t form the words or if he was cognizant enough to restrain himself

  “Never meant what?”

  “To keep…”

  He blinked with an unfocused gaze, and I knew aside from a hell of a hangover, he wouldn’t remember any of this.

  “To keep what, Garrett?”

  “Tsk tsk…no you don’t.” He shook his head in a wobbly motion. “Almost…had me.”

  “You’re a terrible drunk, and it makes you a lousy boyfriend. Now come on
before I lose my patience.” I rolled my eyes.

  “Don’t leave…me.” His words were thick, and the heavy scent of whiskey fanned across my face.

  I swallowed hard, trying to listen to my inner conscience telling me not to try to get a drunken confession.

  “I’m not going anywhere. Get some sleep and we’ll talk in the morning.”

  I tugged at him again, managing to get him to plant his feet on the soft cream carpet.

  “I can’t hold your weight by myself. If I get help from Stone and Chad, they’ll have something to poke fun at you about for years to come. Now come on and help me.”

  “Hmph.” He mumbled something else that sounded like They can kiss my ass, but I couldn’t be sure.

  It took some effort, but he managed to clumsily stagger to the bed with my arm wrapped around his waist in a vice grip. I pulled the covers up and he stared through his lashes with his half-closed eyes.

  “You’re the best thing…ever happened to me,” he said before closing his eyes and falling into a deep, relaxed sleep.

  I kissed his lips, lingering because I knew it might be my last chance to do so. In less than twenty-four hours we’d be catching a plane and going our separate ways. I could barely stand the thought and pressed my lips a little harder against his soft mouth.

  Instead of going back to my room, I curled up in the chair next to the bed and drank in every feature of his beautiful face. How easy it was to fall in love with him. He’d been my soul-keeper, my lover, my protector, my confidant, and my addiction. Drawing my feet underneath me, I closed my eyes, etching him into my memory.

  If what we had ended badly, if we said a final goodbye, he would be imprinted on my mind like the most beautiful piece of art on a canvas.

  “Well this didn’t go as planned,” I whispered. “What are you so scared to tell me, Garrett? What in God’s name have you done that makes you think I would hate you?”

  Hours passed with me staring at him, and I couldn’t resist one more kiss. I found myself sliding my knee onto the mattress and stroking his soft hair as I placed my lips on his.

  What is it? What have you done?

  Cheating would be a definite reason to hate him, but that wasn’t possible; we’d been on an uninhabited island the entire time we’d been exclusive.

  Lying was a hard limit, but I couldn’t think of anything he’d have to lie about. From the beginning he’d been honest about not committing to a long-term relationship. He’d made it clear he didn’t want the white picket fence and kids package; I got that.

  I knew he could be callous, arrogant, and cocky, but I also knew firsthand the kind, warm, gentle, and giving side of him.

  Trust was another non-negotiable requirement. He hadn’t given me a reason to waver in doubt…until now, and now I swam in it.

  From the emergency crash landing to making sure we had shelter and food, he’d taken care of me. In everything sexual, he made sure it was always amazing, always made me come again and again. Everything had been perfect.

  Fucking perfect.

  I couldn’t breathe.

  What the hell happened?

  A few hours later, I fell asleep curled up in the chair, facing him, my mind asking that same question over and over again.

  I woke in the exact same position. A plush throw now covered my body, and the bed where I’d left Garrett was empty.

  Light filtered from underneath the bathroom door and when it opened, my lips parted. Garrett sauntered in with only a towel wrapped around his hips.

  He looked like hell. He squinted his eyes, and I knew he had the hangover of all hangovers.

  “Did you take anything for the headache?”

  He slowly shook his head. “I told my family to keep you away from my room.”

  “They gave me the message.” I narrowed my eyes at him. “You don’t get to pull that shit after the morning we had. I wanted answers, and now all I want is the truth.”

  He sighed and ran his hand through his glistening wet hair. “It’s killing me to not tell you, but I won’t. It’s not the right time.”

  “What the hell does that mean?” I stood up abruptly, hands on my hips.

  “It means it’s not the right time. Everything will make sense soon, Brooke.”

  “We had a perfect fucking morning yesterday and then you have some argument with Avery and it all goes to hell?”

  “It went to hell long before that.”

  “Why would you say that?”

  “Because it’s the fucking truth.” He shrugged.

  “You said you would never lie to me.”

  “I haven’t lied to you, I just haven’t told you everything. There’s a difference.”

  “It feels as if you’re pushing me away.”

  “Maybe I am.”

  “I deserve to know why.” I felt as though I were going to crumble to the floor. I felt him putting space between us—space I didn’t want, space that didn’t have to be there.

  “When you have your answers, I’ll be waiting. Until then, I need you to leave my room and give me space.”

  He was far from the man I’d known. He didn’t stand tall, so powerful and arrogant. Instead of the cocky eyes and devilish grin I loved, he wore a grim expression that stole my hope. He had the power to stop my heart from cracking wide open, but instead his next words pierced my chest.

  “What is it Garrett? What’s making you shut me out?”

  “I need to put some space between us. It’s the right thing to do. I shouldn’t have ever started this with you.”

  I stared at him, shattered into innumerable pieces. Within a few hours, Garrett had become someone I didn’t recognize, a complete stranger.

  “Last night you said some things I hoped you meant. Do you remember asking me to not leave you?”

  “Don’t make this harder than it has to be.”

  “You said I was the best thing that’s ever happened to you.”

  He leaned against the door, face emotionless, arms crossed.

  “Just go, Brooke. We’ll be at the port in a few hours.”

  “All the things you said to me…all the things we did together while we were on the island—did they mean nothing to you?”

  He stared hard into my eyes. “It doesn’t matter what I want. This is the right thing to do.”

  “Right for who? Leaving doesn’t feel right, and I know deep down you don’t want me to leave.”

  “It has to be this way.”

  “Garrett, when I walk out that door, I’m never going to look back. If you ever feel regret, I hope you wallow in it, because it was you who fucked us up. I had nothing to do with it.”

  His silence was the final period on our story, the end of us.

  I brushed past without glancing at him, too afraid he would see the tears forming in my eyes. After closing the door, I didn’t try to stop the rush of sadness pouring from my eyes on the way back to my room.

  Falling apart, I collapsed on the bed and curled into a fetal position.

  He’d dumped me, giving me the oldest breakup line of all. It would have been so easy for him to talk to me instead of pushing me away. It could have made all the difference in the world.

  Fucking love—what a joke.

  It seemed it just wasn’t in the cards for me to find love or happiness.

  Chapter 24

  A few hours later, I found myself standing next to the window, looking at the shores of St. Thomas. Garrett hadn’t bothered to try to make things right, and I’d ignored Avery knocking on my door. Her sweet voice had filtered into the room, assuring me she was only checking to make sure I didn’t need anything.

  I called bullshit.

  For whatever reason, she knew the secret lingering between Garrett and me. She knew, and it pissed me off. Unless she was going to fill me in, I didn’t have anything to say to her, and I sure didn’t want to hear anything other than what mattered most—the truth.

  Seagulls flew by, drawing my focus back to the land as
we sailed into the harbor.

  I was on my way home.

  Pressing my forehead against the sun-warmed glass, I let out a sarcastic laugh at fate’s sick sense of humor.

  “You really screwed up everything you’ve worked so hard for. Stupid girl.”

  My job, my livelihood…and my heart.

  A lone tear escaped through my bottom lashes.

  “Get it together, Brooke. It’s time to go home.” I knew we were about to dock, and the faster I got to Dallas, the better.

  Except…uncertainty nauseated me.

  Home meant reality, and reality was that it wasn’t possible to continue my employment with Garrett. I was going home with my world turned upside down.

  After splashing my face and covering up the red splotches on my skin with a little makeup, I lifted my head high and made my way to the deck, dragging my suitcase behind me.

  Entering the room, I saw everyone was present except for Garrett, which didn’t surprise me. Avery glanced at Stone nervously, and Mr. Mitchell stood.

  “Ms. Sheridan, a first-class non-stop ticket has been arranged for your flight to Dallas tonight. Garrett has to stay behind for the investigation and legal issues with the aircraft. It may be a few days before he returns to the States.”

  “They won’t have questions for me?”

  “They will, but Garrett’s arranged for your interview to wait. They’ll be in touch at a later date because of your family emergency.”

  I let out a deep breath, trying to keep my shit together. I didn’t want to fly back alone, but I didn’t have a choice. My mother was waiting on me.

  There were so many unsaid things I wanted Garrett to know, messages I wanted them to relay to him, but I swallowed the words. They were a waste of time—he’d made it clear he didn’t have anything to say to me.

  Tears misted my eyes. “Please let me know the cost of the ticket and who I need to reimburse.”

  “Garrett took care of it.”

  My strength to hold back the dam was only so strong. “Thank you again for everything.”

  I whirled out of the room and onto the deck before they could see the unwanted trickles about to trail down my cheeks.

  Damn him.

  Damn him.