Matchmaker Abduction: Aliens In Kilts, Abduction 1

by Donna McDonald

  “Sorry,” Angus said, bringing his full attention back to Erin once more. His eyes kept straying to the sky moving by outside. “It’s just so hard to believe this is really happening to us.”

  “I agree.” Erin walked to the door. “Come on. Toorg will be in here shortly if we don’t walk out to him. I don’t know for certain, but I believe we’re being summoned to Director John’s office. Maybe we’ll find out more about why we’re here.”

  There was a tap on the door and a big blond head stuck itself inside. “I am Toorg,” he said, shrugging his shoulder over the interruption.

  Erin walked over and patted his arm. “It’s okay. Angus and I are ready. I was just saying I figured ya had come to fetch us.”

  Chapter Eight

  Angus looked around as they followed Toorg down a series of hallways that all looked the same. The floors, walls, and ceilings were all metal. The metal was only interrupted by a door here and there. Some rooms were open and in them he saw walls full of some sort of equipment with several people busy monitoring it. In others, he saw what appeared to be offices with a lone person sitting at a desk falling out of one wall.

  When Toorg stopped, Angus nearly ran into the back of him because he’d been thinking so hard about what he saw.

  “Pardon,” Angus said, patting the boy’s naked back while Erin hid a grin behind her hand.

  “I am Toorg,” Toorg said, bowing his head in acknowledgement of the apology.

  Angus bowed back when Toorg pointed at a door. Erin nodded to Toorg and walked in ahead of him. The woman seemed to have no fear of the unknown at all.

  He followed behind her and found a table and some chairs. There was also a giant white screen on the wall that looked like a television fifty times larger than the one Paddy had bought from a Dublin pub to put in Lisdoonvarna. Angus found himself wondering if it got more channels than the two Paddy managed to pull with the antennae on the pub’s roof.

  Erin sat in a chair and motioned to him to take a seat.

  “We’re the only ones here. How do ya know they want us to sit at this table?” Angus demanded.

  Erin shrugged. “Because every time I take the expected action based on the things I see in a room, I don’t have to wait long for some interaction with a real person,” she explained. “If ya want to pace a while, have at it. But I think they’re going to get down to business quicker if we calm ourselves and sit.”

  Rolling his eyes, Angus pulled out a chair. The moment his arse hit the seat the giant television came alive. The action even startled Erin. She swallowed hard and looked expectantly at the now active screen. On it was a long empty table with chairs to be filled. People of all sorts came into view and took the chairs one by one. It wasn’t long before it was filled. The man in the middle stood up once the rest were seated. They wore long robes and had silver hair, nearly to the last one of them.

  “Greetings, Matchmakers of Universe 6. I am honored to speak with you at last. I am John, Prime Director of the Alien Abduction Service, and Primary Consultant to the Guardians of the Portal.”

  Erin and Angus looked at each other.

  “We can hear him. Do ya think he can hear us too?” Angus asked.

  “We can hear you just fine, Mr. MacNamara. The AAS ship is now in orbit over our primary location. We have secured a channel so we can speak freely without anyone being privy to the discussion. Please ask your guard to secure you in the room so we won’t be interrupted.”

  Erin looked immediately to the door. “I am Toorg,” Toorg whispered, shutting the door and making it click somehow.

  Narrowing her gaze, Erin turned her attention back to the screen. “Before we hear what ya have to say, there are a few things we need to get settled first. Are we or are we not yer prisoners, John?”

  First John laughed, and then the whole lot of them sitting at John’s table laughed. Angus didn’t see what was so fecking amusing about Erin’s question. He’d been wondering the same damn thing since he woke up from his time in the box.

  “No. You’re not prisoners. You’re our honored guests,” John said firmly.

  “Guests?” Angus sang out. “We’re trailed by fecking guards every moment. What do ya have to gain by pretending? Agent Black did not invite us here. He kidnapped us and made us yer hostages.”

  There was a rumble among the other people at the table on the screen. John held out his hands and they calmed.

  “I see how our actions might seem adversarial to you based on what you believe to be true in Universe 6. However, in Universe 1, we look at what we did as a rescue of two valuable humans. Alive and well, both of you can serve the multi-verses by helping us keep the peace on our planet. In this way, Mr. MacNamara, you will be working to save all the descendants of the 11 or 12 universes that exist, which includes your descendants who have been busy populating Universe 6 for some four generations now. We spin faster, so we’re 500 years ahead of your time, even more for some of the others.”

  Angus looked at Erin. “They lose me every time they start talking about universes. We’re from 6 of the however many there are. Doesn’t it make yer head hurt?”

  Erin looked back at Angus. “Yes, it’s fecking confusing, so don’t bother trying to figure it out. All ya will get for yer efforts is a splitting headache.”

  Angus nodded and looked back at the screen. “What if we don’t want to stay here? What if we wanted to go home, John?”

  Frowning over the blunt question, John stared back at them and crossed his arms. Angus stared back as well, unwilling to lose any ground, even in a staring contest.

  “Returning isn’t possible. Extractions are a one way trip because the portal won’t let us enter the same coordinates a second time. When we planned your rescue, we carefully inserted a duplicate to ensure you’d be remembered there, at least in your case Mr. MacNamara, so no blanks occur in the time continuum of your universe.”

  “And that’s another thing. Ya keep saying this is the future, but how is that possible?”

  They watched John nod and pause to consider his words.

  “Time travel is possible the same way interplanetary travel is possible. To find still living alternates of our Universe 1 matchmakers, we had to travel backwards, but we could only do so in slower moving universes. Whatever we changed in your time by removing you two from Universe 6 has now already occurred many hundred years ago in our time, but so far the Guardians have found no serious anomalies. History in Universe 6 got altered, but only by a little. Both of you had an existence acknowledged there.”

  “If ya can go forward and back to get people, I don’t see why ya can’t just go back a little farther and undo getting us,” Angus argued.

  “We would have to go back to the exact moment we took you, which I’ve already explained is impossible to do. Besides… we sincerely need you for a bigger purpose than what either of you had in the life you lived in Universe 6. Those you loved there have lived, died, and four generations have risen to follow since we brought you here. If you don’t want to help us, the best we can do is insert you when we collect more alternates from yet another universe. There are still a few of each of you left that we have not obtained. However, I can’t promise you that you’ll like the alternate universes. I do hope you find your way into accepting that living in Universe 1 is your best fate.”

  Erin spread her hands on the table. “Ya said I died out in more than one. What happened to me back where I came from? Since this is the future, ya should know my past. What happened in Lisdoonvarna after I went missing?”

  “I don’t know the details… wait.” There was a ripple of whispering. Some sort of device was passed down to John. He took it, thumbed through it, and then lifted his face. “Nothing, Ms. O’Shea. Nothing much happened. A brief search was conducted and then dropped because there was no trail to follow. They marked your memory with an empty grave and a headstone that read Best Matchmaker in Lisdoonvarna.”

  Erin snorted. “Great. Why should I fecking care abo
ut going back to them then if I scarcely made a mark on their lives? At 38, I wasn’t likely to make a decent match for myself back there anyway. I guess I can content myself with knowing they at least appreciated me enough to make a marker for my empty grave. Alright then… I guess I’m willing to stay.”

  “Erin? What the feck are ya saying?” Angus demanded. He raised a hand to the screen. “Are ya saying ya are happy they kidnapped ya and brought ya here?”

  Erin lifted her chin. “What is happy, Angus? I’ve never really been happy. I certainly was never going to be remembered like the infamous Angus MacNamara. I didn’t match up my children and try to end my life dramatically over my dead wife’s grave. At least here in this strange place, I have some real fecking purpose. Also, I’m not keen on them planting me somewhere else and dealing with Goddess knows what. I’m at least getting used to the aliens. Sue me for being practical about my situation.”

  Angus smacked a hand on the table. “Stop it. Snap out of this pissy mood. Are ya hearing yerself, Erin O’Shea?”

  Erin nodded. “I’m well aware of my words, Angus. Let them plant ya somewhere else if ya fecking want. If I can’t go back to where I used to be, then I’m staying right here.”

  “Thank you, Ms. O’Shea,” John said.

  “Call me Erin. Are ya going to be my boss?” Erin asked.

  John smiled at her through the screen. “You are your own boss, but you’ll have to work with some version of Mr. MacNamara at some point. His U1 alternate was a sort of figurehead with the alien cultures. You did most of the real matchmaking, but they expect to see him. I have commissioned a recording to be made that should answer a lot of your questions about your predecessors. It’s being prepared as we speak.”

  “If I can make a request, John… will ya ask Agent Black to bring me a nicer version of Angus when ya go looking again? I’ve tried for many years to get along with this one, but it’s not taking. You could say our trial time is just not working out well.”

  Angus glared at John and all the others as they laughed at Erin’s teasing about him. “Are ya daft, woman?”

  Erin pounded the table with the point of her finger. “I was only daft two times in my life. One of those times was with ya and the other I refuse to think about ever again. So make yer own decisions, Angus. Ya have heard mine. I’m staying.”

  Angus felt John’s anxiety, but his gaze was on the woman across from him. “Why are ya doing this, Erin?” he asked. “I mean the real reason, not what ya told the yahoos on the big screen there.”

  Erin rolled her eyes and stared at the ceiling. “I keep telling ya, but the words can’t find their way through yer thick skull. We’re in a strange land with strange things happening, and strange people telling us where to go and what to do. I wept by the box they put ya in and wept when they brought ya out. I already let ya get by with making me feel like I wasn’t worth yer time to bed properly. I’ll be damned if I let you ruin all the remaining years Nate tells me I’m going to live if I stay here.”

  Angus smacked the table again. “Ruining? How am I ruining anything? Ya are not making any sense.”

  “Really? Well, let me explain myself better then. Ya can’t even bring yerself to kiss me. I got a hug and peck on the cheek when I offered myself again today. What do I care if they find me a substitute for yer stinking hide? How much worse can that alternative Angus be than you? Ya have done nothing… nothing important… since ya buried yer Mary nine years ago in our time. Ya might as well have shot yerself and died over her grave because all the important parts of ya have been gone for years anyway. At least here in this Goddess forsaken land of aliens, I can maybe make a fecking difference and finally become important to someone. I’m tired of my ego being trampled by those oversized brogues of yers as ya walk all over me.”

  “I did something important after she died,” Angus exclaimed. “I matched my children.”

  “Yes, and without my help, they would have ended up married to con artists and people already married.”

  Angus tightened his jaw. “True enough—ya helped with several—but I’m far from broken.”

  “Ya are as broken as a man gets,” Erin insisted. “Ya just haven’t admitted it.”

  “For yer information, I didn’t kiss ya today because I didn’t trust myself not to embarrass both of us with how much I wanted to. There… that’s the fecking truth,” Angus declared.

  She rolled her eyes. “Ya didn’t kiss me today because ya are afraid I might tarnish all those hallowed memories of a woman with no better equipment than I possess. Ya planned to die and be with her, so go die. I’m done worrying. Ya hear me, Angus MacNamara? I’m done,” Erin said as she stood. She walked around the table, and pounded on the door with her fist. “Let me out, Toorg.”

  “I am… Toorg?” Toorg finished cautiously.

  Angus saw him look to the man on the wide screen. John nodded and Toorg let Erin out of the room. The door clicked behind Erin leaving him sitting at the table by himself. Too late to fix her bruised feelings, he also realized it was the first time he’d felt alone since he’d woken up.

  “Mr. MacNamara—Angus? Are you alright?” John asked.

  “No. Feck no, I’m not alright. I’ve made a right mess of things with that mean tempered harpy and I have no fecking idea how to make them right again. I’m guilty of all she says, but… I never meant to yank her through my torment with me. Apparently we couldn’t stay away from each other. How is this mess all my fecking fault?”

  John nodded and covered his mouth for a moment. Angus knew he was being laughed at again, but he couldn’t find the energy to be offended this time. He was too worried that Erin had truly meant all she said.

  “Believe it or not, I understand. I’ve outlived two wives and have recently taken a third. She’s jealous about both the others. Nothing I say to reassure her of her value to me seems to change that.”

  “John, I need to be honest. If ya were here right now, I’d put my fist through yer face for the chaos ya have created in my life.”

  Angus glared when John laughed loudly at the insult. Every time John laughed, there was a ripple up and down the table. He was a regular comedian for them.

  “I quite believe you would, Angus. I suspected from Agent Black’s report that you might be an aggressive man when you felt threatened. Did you really try to shoot him and his men with some sort of handgun?”

  Angus rolled his eyes. “There was only one bullet in the chamber. It wasn’t meant for the any of the men ya sent to get us.”

  “So what Erin said was the truth then? The Guardians were completely right about you intending to end your life that day.”

  “Yes,” Angus admitted, though his former decision didn’t sit well with him now. He felt better physically than he’d felt in years. He felt healthy… and alive. He felt like chasing down Erin O’Shea and making her listen to him. That was a fool’s errand, which meant his brain definitely hadn’t finished the whole cooking cycle before they let him out of the box.

  “We learned with our previous attempt to replace Erin that sometimes a single human’s will is stronger than any need we might have for them. If you don’t want to help us, that’s your choice, but I think that would be extremely unfortunate. Of all those we studied, you were the alternate most like our U1 original. We sent Agent Black to save you because we knew your true value. All we ask of you now is that you try to save us back. The future of all the multi-verses rests on your very wide, and hopefully capable shoulders.”

  “Fecking bullocks, John,” Angus swore. “Ya haven’t given me much choice but to stay here. Why pretend otherwise?”

  “I know it seems like that right now, but I assure you this is the beginning of a wondrous adventure. The AAS ship should be in orbit over the castle in a week or so. I’ll have them take you and Erin down for a brief tour.”

  “Castle?” Angus repeated, not sure he’d heard correctly, but he saw John nod.

  “Yes. Didn’t Nate tell you? You no
w own everything the original MacNamaras owned. One of those things was a castle our original Angus had built in what once was the Celtic Isles. It was his getaway when he needed a break. He was always taking pictures in front of it while he was wearing one of those plaid man skirts he favored.”

  “They’re fecking kilts, John. Fecking kilts. Never call it a skirt again. I really will punch ya for that insult. There’s only so much a man can take before he snaps.”

  John held up a hand while the rest of the people with him laughed behind theirs. “My apologies. I won’t insult your kilt again,” he promised.

  Angus rubbed a hand over his face. Feck, he really didn’t have any choice. He didn’t relish finding out where Agent Black might take a notion to drop him off. He had been more than willing to shoot the man and Agent Black might be the sort to hold a grudge. Yet none of that bothered him as bad as the idea of never seeing Erin again. It bothered him enough to have him agreeing with Director John even though he still didn’t think it was very wise.

  “Okay,” Angus said finally. “We’re going to call this a trial time between us, John. I’ll see what I think of this place and let ya know later what I finally decide.”

  “Wonderful,” John said. “I’ll try to arrange a person to person meeting with the Guardians in the next few months. We intend to have full disclosure with you and Erin so you’ll know what you’re dealing with in living here.”

  Angus stood and nodded to the door with his head. “Is there anybody to let me out of this fine guest room ya have invited me to for our meeting?” His sarcasm had them all tittering behind their hands again.

  “I’ll have an escort sent to you right away, Angus. Tell Nate if you have any further needs. He’ll take good care of you.”

  Angus shook his head when the giant screen faded to white again. “What the feck have I gotten myself into this time? One day I’m going to learn to stop making promises to people.”