Trusted

by Vicki Green

  “It’s taken care of,” he replies and stands from the coffee table. “Soup?” I only nod and start coughing. “Take these.” He points to pills and a small cup on the table, and I nod again. My eyes follow as he walks off and then down at the table. After taking the pills and drinking the syrup, which tasted nasty, I lean back and bring the blanket up to my chest. My chest! Oh, my God! I’m wearing my purple camisole that shows all of me. And…. I must look like crap! Fuck my life! I lay back down and start to doze off when I hear him approaching. Quickly, I pull the blanket up and over my head and still.

  “You can’t eat with that over your head. Here.” I pull the blanket down just barely past my eyes and look over as he sets down a bowl of soup on the coffee table. My eyes move up to his, and I just stare. “Come.” He leans down and grasps my hands and pulls me up into a sitting position, the blanket falling down to my waist and when he lets go of me I quickly grab the end and pull it up to my throat. He chuckles. Really? “You don’t have anything I haven’t seen,” he states in his sexier than shit raspy voice. Closing my eyes, I feel my face heat up with what I’m sure is adding a great pinkness to my already horrible looking face. I want to die. I open my eyes a slit when I hear his chuckle, again. “You’re not that bad. Quit hiding. Now eat.” He reaches his hand out, a spoon in its grasp, and I let go of the blanket with one hand and take it. Leaning over I scoop up a little of the soup and bring it to my mouth, and it tastes heavenly.

  “Mmmm, that’s good,” I croak. I look at him and he smiles. He actually smiles. Wow, he has a beautiful smile. Of course he does. “Why’d you come here in the first place?”

  His smile drops. Way to ruin it, Pearl. He sits down in the chair beside the couch and folds his hands, leaning his arms on his legs. “Wanted to thank you for the blanket you got me. You didn’t need to do that but I appreciate it.” He looks down at his hands and closes his eyes, briefly, then keeps looking down. “I’m not used to kindness from others.” My heart bleeds with his words.

  “Someone or some people really did a number on you, didn’t they?” I whisper. His eyes snap to mine and my heart races in the silence.

  He clears his throat as he stands and starts to walk towards the kitchen. I freeze at my stupidness but turn my head when I hear his voice. “Let’s just say life hasn’t been kind.” I barely hear him as he’s still facing ahead, then he continues to walk, and I watch until he’s out of sight then turn back to look in front of me. Shit, now I really want to know more.

  My eyes open, and my body is shivering, but I feel sweaty. I feel something wet on my forehead and look to my right to see Harley crouched beside the couch, and my brows crease in my confusion. “Your fever broke. I’ve run you a warm bath. Here. Let me help.” He removes the cloth and takes ahold of my arm, his other hand pulling the blanket off me and throws it on the other end of the couch. He helps me to sit and then to my feet, my body swaying in my lightheadedness. “Careful.” He guides me to the stairs, and I feel weak. My eyes close as he lifts me into his arms like my weight is nothing and carries me up the stairs, into my room and then into the bathroom. He sets me onto the counter and stands so close to me that I can feel him breathing. My heart is beating wildly as his eyes leave me and look down my body, and then I swallow hard, my throat killing me, as they roam back up and into my eyes. “We can do this two ways. You can undress and get into the tub yourself, although I’m afraid you’ll fall and hurt yourself, or I can help you.” I swallow hard again at his words and one of his eyebrows raises. “I won’t look.” My mouth clamps shut as I try to hold in my giggle, but my throat gets a tickle, and I start coughing profusely. He grabs the plastic cup next to the sink, fills it with water and brings it to my hand covered lips. I remove my hand and drink greedily and then nod when I’ve had my fill. “Well? Which is it?”

  “I….” I’m not sure I can say it.

  “Here.” He grabs a towel off the rack and spreads it open holding the top with one hand while the other grabs the hem of my camisole and begins to lift. I squeeze my eyes shut and lift my arms, feeling the fabric move up my body and then my hair moving when it’s lifted over my head. My arms fall and quickly cross over my chest, with my hands trying to cover my breasts as my eyes open and I look into his eyes that are glazed. His eyes shift down as his hands grip the waistband of my sleep shorts and start to pull them down. He lays the towel over my chest, and I grab it. One of his hands leaves the waistband, and his arm wraps around my waist as he whispers, “Lift, I’ve got you.” One of my hands moves of its own accord on the counter, the other holding tightly onto the towel as I push down and I lift my bottom. When he’s removed my shorts, I sit and quickly grab the towel again. His breathing seems a little ragged, which is odd since he didn’t even seem out of breath after carrying me here. He puts one arm around my waist, the other under my legs and lifts me, setting me down into the water. He lifts the leg and arm that have stitches onto the tub edge, so they don’t get wet, and I almost moan as I sit in the warm bubbly water. Thank God, he added some bubble bath as it’s helping to cover my nakedness. “Sit up and I’ll wash your hair.” My eyes snap to him, but I only nod, bringing my leg up to my chest as I sit up, while my arms wrap around it, and I hold myself to it as close as I can to cover up. “Lean your head back a little.” I tilt my head back, my eyes following him as he stands and grabs the cup from the counter and then bends down on one knee, but my eyes close as I feel the warm water over my head. His fingers massage my head, and a moan escapes my mouth before I can stop it. I would be embarrassed, but I’m so far beyond that right now. “I’m gonna go to the grocery store again after this. Let me know if there’s anything you need.” My mind imagines a ton of inappropriate things I want from him, and then I force them to stop.

  He rinses out the shampoo and then adds my conditioner, rubbing it in. My eyes open to see him lathering up soap on my loofah sponge. Closing my eyes again, I’m in heaven as he begins to wash my back. I feel warm water running down my back, and I open my eyes to see the concentration on his face and in his eyes, and then they shift to mine. “There. Are you okay to do the rest?” I nod, giving him a half smile, and he stands. “I’ll just…. Wait out here.” I watch as he leaves the room, shutting the door until there is only a crack left open and sigh. I finish washing and when I look up, I see clean clothes sitting on the counter. When did he come in? Damn, he’s quiet. “Do you need help?” My head snaps to the door, and my heart beats fast once again.

  “Uh, no. Thanks.” I pull up on the stopper and am careful to rise, holding on to the edge of the tub and then step out onto the rug. I grab a towel, dry off and then put on the t-shirt, panties and yoga pants he gave me. Oh, my God! He’s been in my underwear and bra drawer! I guess there’s nothing he can do now to embarrass me any further, so I open the door and see him sitting on my bed, one of my purple camisoles dangling from his finger. Okay, I stand corrected.

  “I like this one.” His eyes sparkle and a smile is on his lips. Damn, something must be wrong with me. How can I be horny as hell and sicker than shit?

  I walk over, grab it from his hands and hear him chuckle as I return it to the drawer. Turning around I lean against the dresser and cross my arms over my chest. “Well, thanks for embarrassing me even further.”

  He stands and walks straight to me, stopping just a breath away and cocks his head. “Need anything from the store?” I shake my head slowly, my lips part as he leans in, and I swear my heart is going to beat out of my chest. We stare at each other for what seems like entirely too long, and then he turns and walks out of my room. My hand moves up and lies over my heart, and I let out the breath I’d been holding. God, he’s going to be the death of me.

  ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

  Fuck! What in the hell am I doing? Why don’t I stop this? Do I really want to? Maybe I could stop running, maybe I could…. Shit! She’s twisting my mind, my heart and I’m not sure what I want to do anymore.

  I walk to the grocery store, purchase a
few items and then walk back into the apartment. Her head lifts from the couch and turns to me as I walk in and she sits up slowly. “Got something that will help your throat.” I raise the small sack and then walk to the kitchen. Once I’ve opened the jar, I pour a little of the juice into a small glass and close the lid, putting the jar in the fridge. I walk into the living room and take my seat on the coffee table and hold the glass out to her.

  She takes it, lifts it to her nose and looks at me, her nose scrunching. “This is pickle juice.”

  I cock my head as my eyebrows lift high and smirk. “Yes, I’m aware of that.”

  “Huh. Kind of a weird cold and flu remedy.” She puts the rim of the glass to her lips, and I place my fingers under it, lifting, until the glass tips more. Her eyes stare into mine as she drinks, her face puckering a little, and I try to hold in my laugh. I take the empty glass from her hand and set it on the table, and she lowers her head. “Didn’t taste too bad.” She looks up at me with a small smile and then a frown appears. “You know. I worry about you ever since I saw you sleeping in your truck.” My brows crease and I don’t know whether to get up and leave or stay put. My insides are pulling at me to leave. “You could…. You could stay in one of the spare bedrooms, while you’re here.” My eyes widen and the thought of a comfortable bed and a roof over my head make me actually contemplate her words. “Must be hard sleeping there and the nights are getting cooler.”

  I stare at her, my eyes searching hers, and I swear she has me under a spell. “I can’t. Thank you though. People would talk and it wouldn’t be good for your reputation.” She sighs, her body slumps in defeat, and I feel bad. I stand quickly, taking all the dirty dishes and glasses with me, and walk to the kitchen. After washing them all and loading them in the dishwasher, I place my hands on the counter and bow my head. I’m letting her get to me, letting her get too close, but God, I want to so badly. If she knew…. If she knew about me, she would run. Maybe that’s what I need to do. Maybe I need to tell her about my past, make her hate me, forget about me then go back to my life of solitude. I hit the counter with my palms and walk out, but stop when I see her standing by the couch.

  “You’re leaving.” It was a statement, but her eyes are asking the question. I walk to the door, open it and stop, turning my head to the left but not seeing her.

  “Rest. Get better. I’m going to work.” I close the door behind me and lean back against it. I need to make a decision soon or leave. Maybe it’s time to hit the road.

  It’s pouring down rain by the time I leave the bar. I walk outside the building, along the brick wall. As I begin to walk passed the alley a hand wraps around my upper arm, and I turn, my body in defense mode. I snarl as I grab the person’s upper arms turning them and pushing them against the brick, moving my hands until I clasp their wrists and bring them up over their head. The rain is beating down so hard on me that I blink a few times in order to see clearly. A gasp leaves their mouth, and I close my eyes, then reopen them and I’m shocked to see Pearl, breathing heavy, no jacket and still only wearing her t-shirt and yoga pants. As I look down I see she at least slipped into her flip flops. My eyes roam back up her body and my mouth crashes against hers. Her moan invades my mouth as we kiss frantically, her hands all over me once I release them. I place a hand around the back of her neck, the other around her waist. I feel like I can’t get close enough, the feeling of electricity tingles through me, and I want to crawl inside her. “What are you doing to me? I’m nothing but trouble, Pearl. Can’t you see that, can’t you feel it?” I ask against her lips. My senses become clear and I release her, backing away, the rain making it hard to see.

  “It’s what you’ve done to me, Harley.” Her lips begin to quiver as her teeth start to chatter. “I know what I feel and I know you feel something for me too. Do you feel the tingles? I can feel it too. They invade me when you touch me.” Her voice is still gravelly from her cold, but I can hear her even with the rain pelting us.

  I take two steps forward, grab her arm and pull her towards the stairs. She follows with a bit of a jog to my large and fast steps, but finally, we get inside and I march her inside her apartment. I release her arm and walk across the room and into the hall bathroom. Her eyes wide while watching me. I grab a couple of towels and return to her, and throw her a one. “You’re gonna get pneumonia. Dry off.” She doesn’t speak and dries herself the entire time just staring at me. I start to walk to the door and hear her gasp so I turn and walk straight up to her and put my hands on her damp arms. “Go get on dry clothes. I’m just going to go get my bag from the truck.” She nods, her lips still shaking, and I walk back to the door. Once I’ve opened it, I turn my head. “I’m only staying because of the rain. I’ll sleep in a spare room or on the couch.” I walk through the doorway, close the door, and start walking down the hallway to the outside door. She’s gonna be the death of me.

  I grab my bag from the front seat and walk back to her apartment, the entire time thinking about what I’m doing. Why can’t I let go? I’ve tried for two and a half years to let go of the past, but it has such a hold on me. Everything I’ve done, I’ve done with consequences. Everything. However, I keep trudging forward, keep going from place to place, making enough money to send back, and still I’ve found no peace, nothing to try to let go for. Until now. When I get back to her apartment, locking the doors behind me, I see the living room is empty. I walk upstairs and see a light on in the room in the middle of the hall, and as I walk through the doorway, I see the bed covers are turned down. Stepping further into the room, I drop my bag down on the floor by the bed and spot a note lying on the pillow.

  I know you don’t take to receiving help lightly, but I want you to know that I hope you’ll reconsider my offer and stay here. I’m not worried about what people will think as you will pay rent, just like a boarder. I’ll take $1.00 in the morning.

  Night,

  Pearl

  A note. She got me with a note. Damn. I’m turning into a pussy. I walk out of the room, down to the end of the hall and see her door open a crack. I peek in and even with the lights off, I can see her silhouette from the street light down below on the street. Creeping in quietly, I stand by her bed and hear the soft snore of her congested nose, knowing I made that worse by keeping her out in the rain earlier. Guilt washes over me as I walk away and back to the spare bedroom. After closing the door, I remove my wet clothes and take them into the bathroom. I flip on the light, laying my clothes over the shower wall and grab a towel. Once dried, I return to my bag and dig out my bathroom stuff and go back into the bathroom. I brush my teeth and then flip off the light and proceed back to the bedroom, put on a pair of clean boxers and climb in the bed. The smell of clean sheets, the softness of a mattress and a pillow feels heavenly. This is one thing I have missed. Shit, I could get used to this.

  I’m awoken in the morning with the sun shining in through the blinds on the window above the bed and loud coughing and sneezing coming from Pearl’s room. For the first time in my life, I slept like a baby and hate to get up, but she starts coughing again so I pull back the covers, get up and quickly throw on a clean pair of jeans. I look in my bag and frown. I need to do laundry soon. I peek in her door, and she’s still asleep, so I walk downstairs and gather some meds, cough syrup and make her a quick breakfast. Once done, I put it all on a tray I found under a cabinet and carry it upstairs to her room. “Med time!” I state as I set the tray down on her nightstand. Her sleepy eyes open and a smile on her luscious lips as she raises her arms above her and stretches. My eyes zone down on her flat stomach as her camisole rises and the covers are low on her hips and scan up her body until my eyes meet hers. “Yes, well. I brought you meds and a little breakfast. Sit up.” She looks down and quickly pulls her top down, then pushes her hands against the mattress and sits up against the headboard, covering herself with the sheet.

  “You almost sound like you’re in a good mood this morning.” Her voice still raspy but a little clearer and he
r smile beautiful.

  I pick up the tray and place it over her lap and watch her eyes widen when she sees the food. “Well, I haven’t slept on a bed in a long time and I’m afraid you may have spoiled me.” Her head raises and her smile broadens. “Don’t get all excited just yet. I haven’t decided if I’m staying or not.” Her perfect lips turn into a pout, and I tap my finger against her plate. “Eat. It will make you stronger faster.”

  I turn to leave when her voice stops me. “Where are you going? Aren’t you going to eat too?” My head looks back and sees the concern in her eyes.

  “I need to do some laundry and mail something. I won’t be long.” I start to walk again and get to the door when she stops me again.

  “I have a washer and dryer. It’s in the small hall downstairs.” I turn around, and she gives me her sweet smile.

  “Then I’ll be back after I mail something.” I wink and leave the room. My decision to stay here may be growing in her favor.

  Chapter Five

  I can barely eat as nothing tastes good. He’s coming back and doing laundry, and he slept better than he’s slept in years. I’m getting too hopeful. Could he live here? Will he? He’s only going down the street to the mailbox, so I start eating, in earnest, taking all my meds and carefully pick up the tray and set it back on the nightstand then high tail it into the shower. He’s seen me at my worst yesterday and no way am I gonna live through that again, although, the bath, him washing my hair, my back…. Sigh. Oh, my God! He’s seen me naked. Okay, he said he wouldn’t look, and I had a towel partially over me, but how could he not when he picked me up and carried me to the tub? I’ve always been told I’m beautiful and have a knockout body, but who believes that shit when it’s guys just wanting to get into your panties? Psh! How do you think I’m still a virgin at twenty four? ‘Cos, I don’t believe them. Of course, all the girls at school thought I was weird, always dressing in my yoga pants, jeans, tank tops or t-shirts with my flip flops or tennis shoes. Hey, I’m more comfortable with those and not all dolled up.