Denial (Goblin's Kiss Series Book One)

by Cyndi Goodgame

  “Yeah, mom. Great classes.”

  “What about Tonya? Any boys you like?”

  “Mom,” I dragged out the word.

  “Okay. Okay. But you’ve moped for months. You can say you have a no boys rule but we were made for finding and seeking out each other. Several years from now, he’ll come and you need to be sure you know what you’re looking for. You wouldn’t want him to get away.”

  I am only seventeen. Sometimes I think she would marry me off now if she could just to be rid of me.

  “I know. My eyes are open, mom.” I zipped into my room and bit my lip at the moan my mouth let escape when my thoughts drifted to Ames Cahn.

  I called Tonya and caught up on her afternoon. Ames was in her last class, Western Civilization. I took that sophomore year.

  We hung up with nothing new for me to figure out, but the same lack of information as before.

  I let sleep take me.

  AMES

  I followed her to her home, watched her smile-happy neighbor walk in with her, and stayed with her till she was back safe in her car and then on to the little store where she worked in the shopping mall. The guy who she let in her house, the neighbor, was a tad old for my taste as in alone time. I didn’t see another car parked in front hinting a parent was home. Luckily, mister “all smiles” was outta there in less than two minutes.

  I had several things I had to do before I could get back to her.

  First, I went to see her realm, her rightful place. I knew what awaited her there and it wasn’t good even if Joshlin wasn’t either. Once, a while back, I was friends with the people of her realm, but one man changed it all.

  I faked my way into the realm and asked to see Caydon, the current stand-in king, even though I knew very well he was away. His people let me stand unguarded, as they always did, while they went to get whoever would be head of the guard in Caydon’s absence. I knew them all. Our realms are in a current state of odds with each other, but I had an edge only because Caydon despised Joshlin more than me.

  Once alone, I snuck off to where I’d been before to read once more Jem’s future and be sure I was doing the right thing however wrong it might be. She wasn’t mine to keep. Her mother left her all the facts. It all pointed to one conclusion. One of the later letters even said it plain as day. Her “extra” powers were not goblin born. They were something else. Somehow, when I’d read through them before, I’d missed the fact that I was the enemy until Caydon pointed out that her mom’s letters said that I was the one and only enemy. Or at least, that it was referring to me as the one Emma can’t be with. I still wasn’t sure he was right or if it couldn’t be circumvented. But the other fate, i.e. Joshlin, was worse. I wouldn’t let that happen to her.

  Still, it made me take notice to the fact that she is off limits. Perhaps that is why I can't take my mind away from her.

  A few days ago I told Caydon I didn’t want her anyway. A few days ago I was all for handing her over to Joshlin and getting back to my norm. Let the realms corrupt each other for all I care.

  Once I had confirmed the facts, I slipped out of their realm and whizzed over to my own. She wasn’t safe no matter where she went. The only solution was to keep her with me. But was that any safer with the feelings I felt surfacing stronger and stronger the more we were together and even apart?

  On to the other errand.

  He was right where he would always be, eating luxuriously and fawned over by women who didn’t necessarily want to be there, but were living in the same luxuries if they kept him happy. King Ares didn’t make very wise decisions in the end, but he was a better king than this slime. I wish I had the strength to make it right, but destiny doesn’t always help the unfortunate.

  He knew I was there before he acknowledged me. I waited in patience, patience that usually included inappropriate words even a sailor wouldn’t share out loud. The room was loud, obnoxious and nothing like my fathers way of running things.

  “You saw her then?” Not a glance my way.

  “She is aware of who she is,” I shared. Kind of.

  “She have any power?”

  His only need for her was his thirst for power. So I did what I do best with him, I lied my pants off. “None that I can see. What amount she does show is unworthy of harnessing.”

  “We’ll see once we get her trained or harnessed, whichever comes first. Are you already moving to that phase, brother?”

  He has no right to call me his brother when he’s not, but it’s my own fault he’s sitting in the king wanna-be seat. I’m the reason he’s king.

  He finally looked up from his female. I hated that these girls only thought they were beautiful because the jerk gave them attention. They deserved better than that. Sure, I’d drooled over my share, kissed a few human girls even, but never did I treat them disrespectfully. And human girls were surer of themselves, confident. Our kind stayed trapped under the realm and sheltered. I wished for them to spread their wings. Not go out and not return so to speak, just see the outside world and appreciate its variety. It led me to Emma.

  “I have already discussed it with Guard Wicker. He will see her soon and make his first effort at seeing what she can conjure.” I hated talking like she was a weapon or dirty or anything else just because Joshlin knew what she was. He didn’t even know the half of it.

  “Very well. You can start tomorrow. I have a retrieval I need taken care of.”

  I panicked letting all thoughts of hiding her magic flee. I couldn’t leave Emma alone this long. Even while she slept I was anxious. It was not a feeling or a skill I had ever felt compelled to act on and it left me scrounging for words. I didn't like it. “I will send Trigger or Jones. I have only a few hours before I need to get back.”

  He’d turned away from me for the last bit, but I’d piqued his interest. Verdangit!

  “Why bother?” His less than kingly eye turned upward examining my every move.

  “No reason. The retrieval will take more than a few hours and it would appear odd to not be in her human school for the second day. We want her compliant, not running scared.”

  He opened his mouth to say something, no doubt that he didn’t care if she was scared. Instead he said, “Alright. Send both. I don’t want a mess-up. An entire set of crops are missing and I want to know who it was, dealt with, and order restored.”

  Yeah! Cuz’ that’s a fair king. Whoever stole it was probably the starved family that provided his spread before him now. Retrieving runaways and killing off human snoopers was not what I wanted to do with my life, but there weren’t many choices for my kind outside the realm. Either way, I wasn’t going back to stay there after this was over.

  Dismissed and on my way back to her was exactly what I had time to do after I talked to Trigger and sent them on the mission. Of course, I usually took care of the culprit by giving back what was theirs behind my brother’s back. Friggin’ modern day Robin Hood. Everyone who knew had become accustomed to it. Few took advantage of my unsaid generosity and I preferred it that way for my sake and theirs.

  When I caught up to her earlier, I completely did not see the confrontational side of Emma Steele hitting me until it was out there and staring at me in the face. She wanted answers and she was the one cornering me to get them. Wow! She was amazing.

  I told her what I had to and took one small ounce for my own selfish desires. I almost screwed up and kissed her. I told myself I just wanted to gauge her reaction, but it turned into something much more than that.

  She did however react even stronger than before with the slightest touch. I drew a line up her arm and around her cheek with my trigger finger. She lost all inhibition. She stopped breathing completely. Her heart even stopped for a total of three seconds. It scared me so bad I left before she opened her eyes.

  I’d never been more afraid in my whole life like I was at that moment.

  And that dang phone. I saw the text. Dang ape punk. He saw me as red flag and wanted her attention back on him tho
ugh he was a dog. He didn’t respect this girl for all her pureness. Innocence. Kindness. Passion.

  I stood outside her window all night studying her sleep patterns. She slept sound, but she tossed her body around a lot. I could only tell this by the way her breathing changed so much. How could I be so in tune with this one girl when in as many years I hadn’t figured out any other person, human or not, and the way their sleep patterns played out. Not that I’ve ever tried. Or did now. Somehow, I just knew.

  I certainly have never had anyone read me like she does and linger on it. Magic or no magic. Was it because she didn’t understand it herself and it was new for her too? Or maybe she was reading me too well and thought I was the enemy because she’d not met anyone like me. My kind perhaps take for granted what we can do. The power we hold.

  I left her again only to dress and beat her to school. I watched from my Jeep as she pulled into the parking lot. I waited till the timing was right and hopped out of the Jeep. Up the side and one row over, she came to a stop when she saw me.

  At first I thought she might run, but she didn’t. One honest truth. That’s what I’d planned. I thought all night about what to choose. Here goes.

  She started to turn away so I moved quicker to get to her.

  “Just wait a minute, please.” I’d never used that word before. Ever.

  She stopped and kept her back to me. “I will tell you one thing if you do the same for me.” She started to walk off and I tried it again, “Please.”

  She stopped again. Wow! Powerful word.

  “What is your one thing?” she said in front of her, not to me.

  “You’re not completely human.”

  I should not have done that.

  “You gotta give me more than that.”

  Heck, she was forceful for such a kittenish creature. And I liked it. “I’m not either.”

  I laid it out there. Now I had to wait. Not long though. My king wants what he wants and I wasn’t aiming for him to be the winner in this game now.

  She eventually pivoted her feet just enough to cut her eyes at me. “I knew as much.”

  That was her give? No way.

  “When you’re ready for more, you know where to find me.” And she left me standing there, alone again.

  I had the distinct feeling I wasn’t calling the shots anymore. That was new for me.

  “Cahn!”

  I knew the voice. Crap! If it wasn’t one dogface king down my throat to get this girl, it was the other one sending a lackey to check in to see if I had her or not.

  “Will, how nice to see you,” I slapped on the charm when I pivoted to him in the parking lot blocking his view of her retreating backside. Easy to be so damn cool about reality when I wasn’t around her. She made me do and say things that weren’t natural for me.

  “Cut the crap. I’m not here for niceties. Where’s the girl?” Will’s foul breath came a little too close to me. His large sized head was disturbing to look at each time I had dealings with him. A human might say he is giant midget if that’s even possible.

  “She is around. Still checking the details,” I lied.

  “Whatever. Boss says you got days and he’s coming for her. He wants his bride.”

  Yeah, get in line. “I will be in touch with Caydon myself. I answer to my realm, not yours. Toodles,” I shoved off from the yellow convertible I’d leaned on in an escape from his dog breath. Couldn’t they send someone a little less conspicuous? And smells better.

  I hurried into school and made it to class in time, but little time to come up with a plan. Like, an hour tops.

  EMMA

  He was so maddening. He told me what I knew, not what I don’t. He only confirmed the truth, not revealing anything. His glowing list of attributes were diminishing fast. Not that I noticed them in any certain detail.

  Jay met me in the hallway and assured me he’d take the new guy out if he was badgering me. I guessed Jay didn’t find it creepy that he just admitted he is spying on me. I laughed it off and told him thank you, but I could handle it. No one knew my extra talents and I needed it to stay that way.

  I made it through the morning with little drama other than the parking lot and a stray freshman in a panic because they couldn’t figure out what doth and alas meant in their old English lesson from the day before. Mrs. Ryman saved me with helping the student so I could go on to class. Now, my writing class today was a different story altogether.

  Ames wrote...a lot. I got the impression he wasn't the writer type.

  Not the writing, but the amount. He looked like might have even enjoyed it a little. He gave me space for which I was grateful but I more wanted answers.

  Finally, my dam broke. “What do you want?”

  He skillfully turned his head and looked down at the paper.

  YOU!

  I croaked. Yes sir, I croaked out the next words from my mouth. “That’s not gonna happen.”

  His devil smile played on his lips leaving a dimple in the side of his cheek. I wanted to kiss that dimple. Ack!

  He slid his eyes back down to his own paper. I watched so careful to his every single move. I could see the words along the top of his paper but not where his hand covered the rest. The top line read,

  Her eyes like the sun, her hair like the yellow licks of a flame.

  I had to see what it was she had that made the king so harnessed to have her.

  I took the task in hope for a favor of the king. She would take me to a new world.

  What the heck did that mean? Was it a poem? I leaned into him not realizing how close I was making myself, “Is that a clue?” I said to his ear. My breath was warm because I was so nervous. He jerked back at my words. Tiny devil bunnies were biting at the insides of my stomach to make me calm down. Not working.

  “Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you mad or something?” I muttered hating myself for forgetting my place. His eyes narrowed.

  After a moment of neck popping and closed eyes, he came back to me. “It’s not that at all.” His voice had the same hoarse sound he’d made before when he closed his eyes.

  “Am I hurting you? If I am it’s because I don’t understand what exactly I do. I know I can hurt people.” I whispered this so low I wasn't sure if he heard. I don’t know why, but the thought just rubbed me the wrong way. It wasn’t fair that I could make pain just burst in someone. I hated this stupid magic junk.

  “Oh this is painful, Emma. But it’s not the pain you think.” He flashed a pirate smile. A hint of laughter and something else was in his voice, but it never fully reached the surface for me to decipher.

  I wanted to know. If I could breathe it would be easier to ask the question on my mind, but it took me a moment to stop my flyaway puddle of goo I was stuck in from that odd reply. Did it mean...or did it mean nothing at all?

  “That’s good isn’t it?” I asked after my voice was a little less shaky.

  His eyes cut to mine. I swear the pupils moved around. I said before that they glowed, but I wasn’t sure what else to call it and regardless, it did funny things to my insides. I felt the heat rise in my belly like it never had with boys.

  I blinked back my thoughts and heard him speak. “You see? You have the same.” His smile slid open as he gestured to my eyes. “You feel it, don’t you?” He touched my cheek like before. Oh boy.

  He had a way with questions and answers. He seemed to rarely “answer” and often question. One could dance around an entire conversation and he never gave one ounce of the truth.

  And his other qualities from before were starting to not look so bad. In a good way. Still, my life had been filled with doubt so I held back.

  The list I started before...glowing was an understatement. But I can add arrogant, inconsiderate, rude—gorgeous, and cocky. Put all that aside and see heroic and caring simply because he checked on me yesterday and hadn't berated me for screwing up the windows in class. At least I think so. I want to think so.

  Before I refused to give him on
e second of my time, now I can’t seem to stop watching every second of every move he makes.

  In the middle of my reverie, he forcefully jumped back two spaces with his chair and separated the two of us. Miss Cauldron came over, no doubt noticing the whispering. She looked down at my paper and then his.

  “Mr. Cahn, you have nothing on your paper.”

  I surveyed what she said and found nothing. The words were gone.

  AMES

  Out of time. Out of time. I’d watched her for a day before I’d really met her only seeing her from fifty yards away hanging with her friends. I’d decided to wait till school started and I could physically see her.

  She didn’t know the half of it. In some ways, nor did I.

  Her parents had been the goblin king and queen of another realm who invaded my realm before the one we have now. The current appointed ruler is a ruthless tyrant who found the still alive elder vagrant who’d survived that fateful day. This girl was his secret.

  I was told at ten, making Joshlin fourteen, that she was the princess and finding her was a miracle. I didn’t know he’d hide her further away from us and make plans to take her for his own one day when I told him about her. I hate myself now for that day.

  Having only known this in recent years, I only hated my stand-in king even more. He didn’t deserve to be king. But dethroning him wasn’t an option either. A least not if it means I have to be directly involved.

  The deal I made with the king still lingered in my mind, but when I pictured Emma with him it was too painful to think about going back. The nasty alternative of backing out of the deal didn't sound good either. I was screwed either way with one exception--I want her.

  She doesn’t know what happened to her savior, the elder. Joshlin tortured the poor soul who hid this girl as a baby and even took his wife into seclusion to get to him. The wife was okay, but he wasn’t. He was almost driven mad with worry for his loved ones. Now his son will do anything to take this king down because of the past. I always made sure the son was on my side, not the king’s. You never know when you might need friends.