by RH Tucker
“I don’t know …”
“Please, Jen,” she begs, reaching over and grabbing my arm. “Look, I would’ve sprung this on you last minute, hoping to keep you from making an excuse, but I also didn’t want you to make plans.” I turn to face her after parking in front of her house. “Come on.”
She’s giving me the puppy dog eyes that I’ve come to love over the years and I can’t say no, even though I really want to. “Maybe.”
She smiles. “I’ll take it. What are you doing now? Want to stay for dinner? My mom’s making enchiladas.”
Her mom’s food is super delicious, but I hesitate. Emma’s not the type to push me for more details about things, not like I am. But I don’t want to take the chance, despite knowing that.
“No, I’m gonna head home. Nancy should be home and I think she wanted to hang out.” I have no idea if my aunt is actually going to be home, but it is something we’ve done in the past.
“Okay.” She leans over to give me a hug. “Text me tomorrow, if you want to hang out this weekend.”
“All right.” I smile at her.
The drive back home is haunted, yet again, by thoughts of Lucas. I can’t help it since his house is right next to mine. Every time I drive down the street, or even just come outside, a ball of nerves bounces around inside. It’s only gotten worse since my drunken sleepover.
His mom comes out and walks over to an SUV in their driveway, waving at me. I force a smile and wave back. No matter what my issues are with Lucas, his family has never been anything but nice to both myself and my aunt.
I can hear the door of their SUV open and close, but I ignore it, not wanting to be called over. Heading inside, I find Nancy on her phone, and she smiles at me. I grab a soda out of the fridge and sit down at our table in the dining room, flipping through a magazine.
“No, it’ll just be until Monday. Yeah, I’ll be back in on Tuesday,” Nancy says as she sits down across from me. “No, I know, but I hate to leave you running the shop for the weekend at last minute.”
I peak an eyebrow, looking over at her. Nancy takes time off from the shop every now and then. Sometimes she’ll go out of town for a week for guest spots at different tattoo shops or for a convention. But I don’t remember her saying anything about doing something this weekend.
“All right, sounds good.” She smiles at me and now I’m curious as to what’s going on. “Okay, then. Yeah. Okay, bye.” She ends the calls and stares at me with a huge smile.
“What?”
“Go pack, we’re leaving in a couple hours.”
“What? Where are we going?”
Her smile suddenly vanishes, replaced with a look of apprehension. She bites her bottom lip, as the silver ring around it sparkles.
“Nancy?”
“Jen, you haven’t gone in years, and this may be the last chance you get before your life gets crazy with college and real world responsibilities.”
My mouth drops. “You didn’t.”
“Yes.” She nods. “Now go pack.”
I cross my arms. “No. Nancy, I can’t believe you. I haven’t gone in years.”
“I know, ever since before freshman year.”
“Yeah, and there’s a reason for that.”
“Jen, I know you and Lucas got all awkward―”
“No,” I interrupt, putting up a finger. “It’s more than that.”
“Well, of course, but it’s hard to know when you’ve never told me what happened.”
Shaking my head, my eyes stay locked on her, scowling. “It doesn’t matter. I haven’t gone on their camping trip since high school started and I’m not starting again now.”
“Yes, you are.”
“Nancy, please. You can’t make me do this.”
She sits there, staring at me like I’m crazy.
Lucas and his family have taken a family camping trip at the beginning of summer for as long as I’ve lived next to them. Growing up, it was fantastic. The campground is a couple hours away and they actually rent out a huge cabin, which is right next to a lake. Ever since we moved next door, Lucas’ parents invited Nancy and I to go with them and we had for years. Up until the summer right before high school started. That year I acted like I was sick. The following two years I simply said I didn’t want to go. By that time, Nancy could see there was something going on between Lucas and I, but she never pressed me for details. She ended up going last year and I stayed home, so I figured that would be the end of it.
“Nancy, I’m not going.”
“Yes, you are.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
We sit there, staring at each other in a stalemate. I’d be content to sit and stare all night, not budging an inch. But her face softens as she unfolds her arms, looking down at her hands.
“Jen, I don’t know what happened, but I meant what I said. After this summer, who knows what you’ll be doing. I don’t want us to …” She trails off, still focusing on her hands.
“What?”
She takes a deep breath. “This is the last summer where you’re still my little girl.”
The words come out almost as a whisper. My aunt has always been there for me. As much as I don’t want to trust anyone, I can’t honestly say that about her. She took me in when my mom didn’t want me. She never brought up what my mom told her, and I’ve never told her that I heard her words. The words that I’ve never told anyone else. As much as I won’t trust anyone anymore, Nancy has always been the one I could. She wants to spend time with me, and as much as I don’t want to be around Lucas, there’s a bigger part of me that really doesn’t want to push Nancy away. Not after all she’s done for me.
“Fine,” I finally answer her, but now it’s my turn to keep my eyes averted.
I’ll just ignore Lucas all weekend. I’ll take books, find a little spot by the lake, and avoid him and everyone else until it’s time to come home. It won’t be that hard, right?
Chapter 11
Lucas
Plopping down on my bed for the weekend, I throw my hands behind my head. Our camping trip every year is a nice getaway. Two hours away from the city, it’s in a nice country area with a huge lake and hiking trails. And while the summer camping trip happens every year, it’s not the only one. We’ve taken them in the winter, a couple times around Christmas, and a few during spring break. I always lay claim to the first bedroom, other than the master room, which we all know belongs to my parents.
The last couple of years, Jen’s aunt has met up with us, so I’m expecting her to show up again. Jen’s been a no show the last four years, so I know we won’t have any tense situations this weekend. Not that I wouldn’t give anything for her to show up. Because ever since that morning my mind’s been buzzing about what she meant. And I still can’t forget how it felt to hold her as she slept.
I’m not doing myself any favors continuing to think about any of that. A shirt hits my face and I smell the all too familiar, and disgusting, body odor of my brother.
“Gross, man.” I flip the shirt off my face, looking up at him as he stands in the doorway of my bedroom for the weekend.
“Come, let’s go.”
“Go where?”
“Mom and Dad aren’t gonna be here for probably another hour. Uncle Howard just got here, so let’s go help them with their bags.”
I shoot him a suspicious look. “You’re being a little too brotherly.”
“I saw these girls near the entrance of the campground when we pulled in.”
“There it is.”
“Let’s go help them with their bags and drag Johnny along.”
“Rich, Johnny just turned sixteen. You’re already trying to defile him?” I laugh.
“Hey, you turned out okay.”
Rolling my eyes, I grab my hat off the bed. “Fine.”
After helping our aunt and uncle with their bags―and the required hugging from our aunt―we head toward the campground entrance, Rich motioning to Johnny to follow us al
ong.
“What’s up, guys?” Johnny says eagerly, a huge grin across his face, as he holds a football Rich asked him to bring.
Two years younger than me and six years younger than Rich, Johnny’s always looked up to us like older brothers. And whereas I’ve always thought of Rich as my ‘cool big brother’, Johnny practically worships the guy. So, I do understand his giddiness and try not to make fun of him. At least, not too much.
“Let’s see it,” Rich says, as we walk along a dirt road toward the front of the campground.
“What?” Johnny asks, glancing back and forth between us.
“The license, man.”
“Oh yeah!” He practically jumps up and down. Reaching into his back pocket, he pulls out his wallet and I quickly grab it.
“Hey!”
“Dude, a Spider-Man wallet?” I chuckle.
“Shut up, I know you like Spider-Man.”
“Yeah, but I don’t know that’d I’d throw that on my wallet. You’re gonna be a junior next year.”
“Whatever,” Johnny mutters.
Rich quickly yanks the wallet out of my hand and flips it open.
“Don’t worry, Johnny,” he says as he pulls out the ID. “Luc still wears Spongebob Squarepants pajamas.
“Shut up, Rich, I do not.” I scowl at him while Johnny starts laughing.
“Wow, look at you.” Rich ignores me, examining Johnny’s driver’s license.
“Pretty cool, right?” Johnny beams proudly. “Hey, can I drive your truck later?”
Rich looks at him like he’s crazy. “Uh, sorry, man. Proud of you for getting your license, but no.”
“Aw, come on.”
“Maybe I’ll let you as a graduation present.”
I laugh when Johnny curls his lip in annoyance. We make our way toward a large area where the entrance of the campground is located. The main building is where most of the staff works, but off to the side there’s a smaller building that’s used as a clubhouse with a few pool tables, and where you can check out horse shoes or other sports equipment.
Rich taps my chest, pointing over to the side of the clubhouse, where two girls are studying a huge map of the camp ground.
“Luc, slant right.” Rich glances at me and I nod.
We have this setup that we’ve honed over the last couple years. Whereas when I’m hanging out with Jackson, who uses the straight forward approach, Rich likes to use the ‘fishing’ approach. I kind of like that way myself, because going right up to a girl and asking for a name can and does lead to getting shut down. But with Rich’s way, which usually involves a football, frisbee, or just running, it feels like it takes off the edge of nervousness.
“Pay attention, Johnny,” Rich instructs. “Here’s your first lesson in fishing.”
“Fishing?” He looks at him confused, I’m sure thinking about actual fishing.
I start jogging toward the girls, who are still staring at the map, and then look back at Rich. He motions with his arm to go to the side and then launches the ball in the air. Like I said, I don’t mind this type of method, but of course Rich always pushes it. The ball floats in the air and I already know it’s going to sail over my head. A quick glance back at the girls and I can see the ball is aimed right for them. Taking off in full sprint, I jump up and barely get to the ball in time, diving and crashing to the ground.
One of them gasps, “Oh my God.”
“Yeah, sorry, about that.” I brush off my arm.
“Lucas?”
Getting to my feet, I finally look over at the girls and find Sasha staring at me, Tara next to her.
“Sasha?”
“Hey.” She smiles, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear.
“Oh, man, I’m so sorry!” Rich calls out as he jogs over, Johnny trailing behind.
I roll my eyes at Rich, while he wiggles his eyebrows at me. “Rich, this is Sasha and Tara. I went to school with them.”
“Oh, all right.”
I can tell he’s a bummed, knowing that they’re both a few years younger than him and that I know them both.
“That’s our cousin, Johnny.”
The girls wave and Johnny gives me an agitated glare, before turning to the girls, standing a little taller. “John.”
“John?” I say, with a cynical grin.
“Yes,” he replies, grinding his teeth.
“Okay.” I shake my head, fighting the smile. “So, you guys are camping, huh?” Not my best line, because obviously they are, but whatever.
“Yeah,” she giggles. “We actually come out here every year in August, but with college this year my parents decided to come out early.”
“Cool.”
“Hey, Mom and Dad are driving through.” Rich hits my shoulder and I turn around to see my mom smiling, waving wildly at us.
“We better get back.” I look over at Sasha. “Maybe we can meet up later?”
“Yeah, but …” She bites her lip, motioning to Tara. “Tara’s little sister is with us. She’s a freshman.”
“Oh, no problem.” I motion back to Johnny … excuse me, John. “How about giving us a couple hours and meet up back here, cool?” She nods. “All right, cool.”
As we make our way back to our cabin, Rich shoots me a look. “Well, that was a bust.”
“I don’t know. I ran in to them last week at the music festival I went to Jackson with. They’re both eighteen.”
Rich just shrugs, throwing the ball in the air to himself.
“At least they’re around your age,” Johnny whines and we both turn to him.
“What?”
“Did you hear her? Her sister is a freshman?” Johnny seems devastated.
“So?”
“Yeah,” I agree with Rich. “That means she’s closer to your age than Tara is to Rich’s.”
“Guys, come on!” Johnny throws his hands in the air. “I’m gonna be a junior this year. I’m not gonna talk to no freshman.”
“Shut up,” I say, Rich and I both laughing at him.
“Hey, guys,” my dad calls out to us. “Rich, can you grab those bags of groceries?”
“No problem.”
“We’ve got two rooms open, right?” My dad looks at me.
“Yeah.”
“Good, Nancy and Jen are coming. They’ll probably be here in the next thirty minutes.”
Rich takes the groceries inside and Johnny calls out that he’ll be back in a while, but I just stand there. Jen’s coming. She hasn’t been to a camping trip in years and now she’ll be here. My thoughts immediately drift to wondering if she decided to come because she knew I’d be here, but that’s crazy. She hasn’t said a word to me since I watched her leave my room―even to return my shirt. Instead, she left it on our porch. So maybe she came because her aunt asked her to. But I know Nancy’s asked her to come in the past and she didn’t. Either way, I have a feeling this weekend is going to get awkward.
Chapter 12
Jen
One night down, two more to go.
When we pulled in to the campground yesterday, it was easy enough to avoid Lucas. After giving a quick hello to Jerry and Laurie, his parents, I quickly retreated to my room, shutting the door and plugging in my earbuds to listen to music for the rest of the night. Okay, I peeked my head out when Laurie said she’d finished dinner, but only to make sure Lucas wasn’t around. When I knew he wasn’t, I grabbed a plate and tried to act as casual as I could, waiting a couple minutes in the kitchen so I didn’t come off as rude, then hurried back to my room.
“Jen, you can’t stay locked in here all weekend.” Nancy pokes her head in the door.
I’m still bundled up under my covers with a book, but I shoot her a glare. “Nancy, I could’ve been naked in here.”
She rolls her eyes. “Jen, I know you don’t walk around naked.”
“I could’ve been trying it. This is the woods.”
“Whatever, I know you’re just avoiding everyone.”
“Not everyone.”
She steps in my room, closing the door behind her. “Jen, what happened?”
“Nothing.” Oh no, I’m not going to get in to it, especially while we’re under the same roof as him.
“Okay,” she says, leaning on her hip. “If it’s nothing, then you have no reason to stay cooped up in here.”
My mouth drops, but I know she has me. “Fine.”
“Good.” She smiles. “Get dressed, we’re going for a hike.”
After taking a little longer than Nancy would like, and listening to more complaining from her, we finally make our way outside. I take my phone and earbuds, and start up my music. No service in the area means I can’t distract myself by texting Emma, but at least I have my playlists.
“Nope.” She wags her finger at me. “No music.”
“What? Why not?”
“We’re in nature, Jen. Try to enjoy it.”
“Fine,” I grunt, and follow her along the trail.
The area really is beautiful, and I try to push all other thoughts to the back of my mind. It helps that I haven’t seen Lucas since we pulled in yesterday, and Nancy doesn’t ask any more about it.
There’s a small hill that we trek up and stop at the top, overlooking the lake down below. It’s still early afternoon, and the rays of sun sparkling over the top of the lake makes me stop for a minute. There are moments I see things I love. I love my aunt, who’s been my only constant in my life as long as I can remember. I’m usually the rock for my best friend to lean on, but I know if I really ever did collapse and have a total meltdown, Emma would be there. I know these types of love are around me. But something about the reflection of the clouds over the top of the lake makes me stop and think―about nature and how everything seems to work in order. Waves over water pushing and pulling in unison. The sun rises and sets over the horizon, always meeting it in the dawn and kissing it goodnight at dusk. I can even hear the birds singing among the trees. I don’t think I’ll ever have that constant in my life. Someone I can sing to and kiss good morning and goodnight to. Someone who’ll hold my heart close, protecting it, and offer me theirs in return, trusting me with it.