by RH Tucker
“’Sup, dude?” Carter gives Micah one of those bro-hug things.
Micah looks around. “Damn, lots of people out here tonight.”
“I know, it’s crazy.”
“Micah,” Emma speaks up, tapping his arm. “This is Izzy, Cindy, and V. I don’t think you’ve met them before.”
“No,” he answers. He extends his arms to the girls, shaking their hands. That’s Micah, always so proper. The sight brings a new smile to my face.
“So,” Veronica says, looking between him and I, “are you two dating?”
“What?” Micah looks at me, holding back a laugh.
“Me and Micah?” I laugh, too. It’s real laughter. It feels good to have real laughter again. “Oh, no. Micah couldn’t handle this.”
“Hey,” he nudges my shoulder with a grin, “I wouldn’t say that.” I shoot him a look that says, are you serious? “Okay, that’s probably true. You’re too much woman for me.”
“Damn straight.”
We both laugh as Veronica watches, unsure why it’s so funny between us. All three of us hung out so much in the past, people would always ask if we were dating and it became an inside joke. There were even a few times Emma and I pretended he actually was our boyfriend, so we could get a couple’s discount at Cold Stone, or other places for their Valentine’s Day specials.
“I’m probably not his type,” I say, giving her a wink.
“Come on, don’t say that,” he replies with a smirk. “You’re cute.”
“Yeah, but I know how you like ‘em.”
Micah rolls his eyes. I’m glad I can joke about his type again. And he does have a type, which is why it threw Emma and I both for a loop when he started dating Lana. A tall, slim, blonde girl, who didn’t know a thing about art or movies. Both things Micah loves. He’s also partial to brunettes, so I give Veronica another wink, because taking a second look, they look like they’d be cute together. She just stares back at me, trying to decipher my words.
“So, how’s summer?” Micah asks.
“Ugh, don’t ask.” It seems like he wants to ask what I mean, but I don’t give him the chance. “How about yours?”
“It’s okay. Still working on the graphic novel. Deciding what classes to take this fall.”
“Graphic novel?” Veronica asks. “What’s it about?”
Micah shoots me a look, then turns to her. “You know what a graphic novel is?”
Veronica stares at him like a deer caught in the headlights. “Um, a horror novel, right? Like, with graphic content.”
Micah’s face drops. I have to bite my lip to keep from laughing at the poor girl because I know she’s trying.
“Kidding!” she blurts out with a huge smile. “Of course, I know what a graphic novel is. It’s a comic book. What publishers are you submitting it to? Or are you self-publishing?”
Now it’s our turn to look shocked.
“Uh,” Micah’s jaw drops. “I haven’t decided yet.”
“What’s it about?”
Micah gives me a funny smile and I raise my eyebrows at him. They would be cute together. But before he can answer her, his face drops. The surprised smirk vanishes, and he goes rigid.
“Here you go, babe.” Matt walks back over to us, handing Izzy the hoodie.
“Thanks.”
“Hey, what’s up, Micah?” Matt smiles at him.
Micah just nods, barely makes eye contact with him, and then turns around. “I’m gonna take off.”
“Micah, come on, don’t do that.”
“Nah, it’s cool.” He shakes his head. I look over at Emma for some kind of help, but she just lifts her shoulders. “Taylor’s hanging out with some people.” He leans over and gives me a hug. “Text me, we’ll catch up.”
He leaves as we all watch, uneasy. Cindy and Veronica seem confused. Emma and I stare at one another with the same defeated expression.
“What just happened?” Izzy whispers to Matt.
Matt clenches his jaw. “Carter, the hell is his problem with me, man? It can’t just be that I’m cool with the basketball team. It’s gotta be something more.”
“Dude, I have no idea.” Carter shakes his head. “Emma?”
“We don’t know,” Emma answers, looking over at me. “He’s never explained it to us.”
Matt let’s out a deep breath. “Psh, whatever.”
The awkward tension in the air doesn’t last long, as a commotion of people yelling comes from the other side of the bonfire.
“What’s going on?” Emma squints, trying to peer through the crowd.
“Shit,” Carter mutters under his breath. “Matt, that looks like Lucas and McCormick.”
“What?” Matt looks at him, confused, then back over the crowd.
“Come on, we better get over there.” Carter nudges Matt.
That’s when we someone yells and the crowd eggs them on with an “Ooohh!”
Chapter 19
Lucas
The bonfire started off great, it really did. Jackson and I arrive early and hang out with a few players from our baseball team. One of them brought a bottle of Jack.
So, I take shot.
We’re both surprised at the number of people who showed up. I haven’t seen Jen yet, so I’m hoping that means she isn’t coming. A few of us throw a football around and I’m actually having fun.
So, I take another shot.
Someone brought a couple bags of marshmallows, so we start toasting some up, while a small group joke about some of the lame teachers we had in school. It’s one of the funnest nights I’ve had with friends in a while. Then I see Jen walk onto the beach.
So, I take a third shot.
I know I’m not drunk, but I’m stewing quietly as I keep glancing over at Jen through the crowd. Mentally I want to ignore her, but emotionally I take every chance I get to peek through the bodies and see what she’s doing.
Then Franco and Jeremy show up. No, I’m not taking a fourth shot. I’m not.
“Dude, where’s the bottle?” I hit Jackson’s arm.
He gives me a wary look. “You already had three shots.”
“Jackson.” I stare at him.
“Fine.” He turns around and taps one of our friends. “Oh, that sucks.” He raises the bottle, showing me it’s empty.
“Damn,” I mumble under my breath.
Jeremy makes eye contact with me and then turns around to talk to someone else. I was friends with the guy for years, but the last couple he just got douchier and douchier. Franco still hangs out with him, so go figure that one out. I’m not sorry about calling him a dick though, and sticking up for Matt, back when they got in to it.
Franco makes his way over to us. “Hey, what’s up guys?” I just give him a nod. “Dude, Lucas, I’ve been meaning to ask ever since that day. What’s up with you and Jen?”
“What do you mean?”
“Like, did you guys hook up, or what? If you would’ve told me you were into her, I would’ve backed off.”
“I’m not into her,” I spit out.
“You sure?” He gives me a conceited smirk, or maybe I just interpret it that way. I don’t feel drunk, but those shots are starting kick in.
“It’s none of your business if I am or not. Besides, you’re the asshole that decided to nail and bail.”
“What?” He looks insulted. “Dude, I didn’t bail on anyone, she knew the score. We were both down for just having a good time. No strings.”
“You’re such a jackass. She liked you, you idiot.” Yep, that liquid courage has kicked in.
He looks taken aback, as if the dots are connecting, and if I wasn’t buzzed I might think he seems a little apologetic.
“What’s this pussy spouting off about?” Jeremy butts in.
“Fuck you,” I growl at him.
“Hold up.” Franco puts a hand on his shoulder. “Lucas, I have no idea what you’re talking about. What’s it to you if she did or didn’t anyways? If, like you said, you don’t like her.�
�
I shake my head. “This is stupid.”
I turn to walk away, unsure where I’m going to go, when there’s a tug at my shoulder.
“Hold on a second,” Franco says.
It might be the annoyance building inside, knowing he and Jen went out. It might be that he seems like he really didn’t know how much Jen liked him. It might even be that I’m still pissed off at myself for everything that’s gone down between Jen and I, that’s twisted our friendship into a steaming pile of garbage. It’s probably all of that.
So, when I feel his hand on my shoulder and hear his words, I don’t wait. I turn around, swing wildly, and my hand connects with his jaw.
“Oooh!” A chant rings out from everyone around us.
“Fuck! What the hell, Mitchell?”
“Oh, hell no.” I hear Jeremy, then feel him, as he jumps on top of me.
I hit the sand with a thud. His knee’s in my back, when I feel another shove, and look up to see Jackson on top of Jeremy. I sloppily get to my feet, when I’m swung around by Franco.
“What the hell was that for?”
Ignoring his words, I swing again.
I’m not a fighter. I’ve actually never been in a fight in my life. So, my only excuse is the alcohol. Still, it felt good to connect with his face. What doesn’t feel good is Franco ducking out of my second attempt to hit him, then hitting me with a combination that he must’ve gotten out of a movie. It’s a spinning back arm, the back of his fist nailing me in the face, quickly followed up with a swift kick to my stomach. It sends me barreling over and I drop to the ground
“Stay down, Lucas.”
“F―” I try to curse at him, but I’m gasping for air to be let back in to my solar plexus.
“What the hell?” I hear a yell and look over to see Carter.
“Dude, he came after me.”
Matt helps me up and I’m hit with the sudden urge to hide. To bury my head out here in the sand and pretend like I don’t exist. Carter rushes over to help separate Jackson and Jeremy, with a couple other friends. Franco is still looking at me like I’ve gone psycho. Matt’s staring at me, trying to figure it all out. Then I see Jen standing next to Emma, who looks like she feels sorry for me.
I shake loose of Matt, who’s trying to steady me, and walk away from everyone.
The cool breeze that hits my face makes me close my eyes, as I listen to the waves on the beach. I rub my stomach, then reach up and touch my face, feeling the blood trickling down my lip. At least I hit him once. I shake my head at myself, wondering why the hell I hit him in the first place. If what he said is true, and I have no reason to believe it isn’t, then he didn’t even know Jen liked him like she did. But if I knew, how could he not? Oh yeah, because he hasn’t been in love with her since he was eight, so he probably just saw her as another girl in school.
I run my tongue on the inside of my lip and taste the blood. Spitting it out, I gaze over the waves, wondering just how the hell I got here.
“Are you hurt?”
I expected Jackson to be the first one to check on me. Maybe, Carter. Hearing Jen’s voice is the last voice I expected. I shake my head, still staring out at the waves, unwilling to make eye contact with her.
“Maybe I should rephrase that … are you okay?”
I glance back at her, confused. “What?”
“Since the lake, are you okay?”
“I …” I stare at her. “I don’t know.”
“I told Jackson I’d check on you.” She looks back over at the bonfire and I can see Jackson hanging out with Carter and Matt. Jeremy seems to be stewing and, surprisingly, Franco seems like he’s the one trying to calm him down. “I know I’ve been ignoring you and everything that happened. I just want things to go back to normal.”
“Normal,” I chuckle. “I have no idea what normal is for us anymore.”
“Yeah,” she whispers as she looks down at the sand.
“I should’ve never kissed Rebecca,” I blurt out. I don’t know why, but it’s the first thing on my mind. Jen’s eyes shoot up to meet mine. “I was nervous. I liked you for so long, and,” I chuckle and shake my head, “you’re not gonna believe this, but I really did want to ask you to that dance. But when you asked me first, I freaked. Some people throw up when they get nervous. Some people have to go to the bathroom. For whatever reason, my eighth-grade brain decided that in order to not be nervous, I should kiss Rebecca and try to be cool.”
“Oh.” It’s barely audible.
“I’m sorry for ever making you feel like I didn’t want you. I’ve always wanted you.”
She’s staring at me for what feels like an eternity. I want to look away―because after my word vomit of coming clean, I feel stupid and embarrassed and pathetic―but I can’t. I watch her, watching me, and then she smiles.
“Did you need a ride home?”
I shake my head. “Nah, I came with Jackson.”
“Oh, yeah.” She nods.
Is she offering to take me home right now? She is. Abort! Change your plans stat, Lucas!
“But …” I find Jackson in the crowd, and he appears to be laughing and talking with a girl. “He seems to be busy. Were you planning on leaving right now?”
“Yeah.” She grins. “I think that’s enough excitement for me tonight.”
“Cool, let’s go.”
Chapter 20
Jen
I don’t know what I’m doing.
We reached the crowd just as Lucas hit Franco in the face. I know Franco’s taken karate since he was five years old. And it shows, as Jackson rushes over at Jeremy, Lucas gets back to his feet and swings again, only this time Franco’s not caught off guard. He moves out of the way and hits Lucas in the face with a back hand and then in the stomach with a kick. And I feel horrible.
Horrible because Franco looks at me like he made a mistake. Not about dating me, but whatever was said between the two of them. He looks like he wants to apologize.
“Jen―”
“Don’t,” I stop him.
Lucas walks toward the water and I follow after him, but I don’t know why I’m going after him. Jackson gets separated from Jeremy and rushes over to me.
“Jen, right?”
“Yeah.” I nod. We’ve never officially met, but I know who Jackson is from school.
“I think I should go check on him,” he says.
“Don’t worry about it.” I wave him off and keep walking.
I still don’t know what I’m doing.
“You sure?”
“Yeah,” I answer without looking back.
Lucas stares out over the dark ocean with his hands in his pockets. I stand behind him for a minute, just watching him. The moon glows off his skin, and with its reflection it makes his hair look more like my color, than its usual dark blond shade. Then it hits me. I know what I’m doing. I’m trying to get my life back in order. I’m trying to get over Franco, get over Lucas, get over everything. I just want things to be normal again.
I ask him how he is, and he just shakes his head. When I ask about the lake, that gets his attention. I don’t know what I expect him to say, but when he blurts out about kissing Rebecca, I’m caught off guard. And then he says it.
“I’m sorry for ever making you feel like I didn’t want you. I’ve always wanted you.”
He’s apologized before. But something about this―right now―about the way he looks at me, like he’s been in pain all these years for doing what he did. I want to forgive him. My brain always wanted to forgive him, it’s my heart that’s held a grudge for so long.
The thought hits me that maybe tonight’s the night. Maybe tonight, after years of being angry with him and wanting to ignore that fact that I love him as I try to hate him, that tonight I should just let it all wash away. Like the footprints on this beach that’ll be gone by morning.
“Did you need a ride home?” I ask.
He shakes his head. “Nah, I came with Jackson.”
; “Oh, yeah.”
I didn’t know that, but I pretend like I do. I gaze at the ground, sure that our moment in time has passed us by.
“But, he seems to be busy. Were you planning on leaving right now?”
“Yeah,” I smile, “I think that’s enough excitement for me tonight.”
“Cool, let’s go.”
And so, we go. We avoid everyone else on the beach. I don’t search for Emma, instead sending her a text that I’m leaving. She must see me, because she just replies ‘Ok’.
Lucas gets in on the passenger side and rolls down the window, staring out of it as I drive, both of us staying silent. As I pull into my driveway and turn off the engine, he looks past me and over at his house.
“Damn, my parents are still up.”
“Yeah, coming home with a bloody face, smelling of whiskey, probably won’t go over great.”
“I smell?” He cringes.
“Just a little.” I giggle. “The blood is the main culprit though.”
“Yeah,” he replies, leaning back in the seat. “Um, I can just chill here, if you don’t mind. I’ll wait till they go upstairs, then I can go in unnoticed.”
“No, that’s stupid. Come inside, my aunt’s not home, she’s out of town at one of her conventions.”
He stares at me with trepidation. “You sure?”
“Yes.” I nod. “I’ll clean you up.”
“Jen, you don’t have to do that.”
“It’s the least I can do. You cleaned up my puke, remember? It seems only right I clean up your blood.”
He laughs. “Okay. But just so you know, puke is a way bigger deal than blood.”
“Shut up.” I laugh and get out of the car.
We go inside, and I head directly to the bathroom to grab a towel. It’s not until I start to wet it that I realize he hasn’t followed me. Instead, he’s standing in the living room, perusing the pictures on a bookshelf.
“It’s been forever since I’ve been in here,” he says, looking at a picture Nancy has up from when I was in tenth grade.