Casey

by Cameron James

  “Well hello Mickey how was mathematics?” He asked, Mickey laughed.

  “Practice exams are going to make me hate exams.” He said, as he took a seat. “Everything alright?”

  “No.” Morgan said, “not really.” He said, Mickey looked at me. “Going to talk to Mr Elliot I think.” He said as he stood, closing his book. “Business related. Of course.” He added.

  “Of course.” I said nodding.

  “I’m missing something aren’t I.” He said, I covered my face.

  “Boy do I hope not.” I said, he slid his chair closer to me, knocking his head against my shoulder, I sighed as I tried to hide in his arm.

  Our head teacher called an emergency assembly that afternoon, both Morgan and Mickey swore when they heard about it, so I joined them.

  “What did Mr Elliot say?” Mickey asked, Morgan shook his head.

  “Very little, I just got offered a coffee,” Morgan said, I almost laughed. “He didn’t know anything; he also didn’t think anyone would know as he didn’t tell anyone and he presumes you haven’t.”

  “It’s not as if it’s obvious.” Mickey said, I looked at him, “well it’s not, granted you’re smaller than us but you don’t look feminine.” He said.

  “Even if you did, you’re gay you can get away with that.” Morgan said, I hit him, “Ow! That actually hurt.” He said, I pulled my tongue at him then took the seat between them.

  “Thank you, by the way.” I said to Mickey, he grinned.

  “Do I get a kiss for that?”

  “Later.” I said humming at him then saw Mr Elliot who looked extremely unamused as he walked into the common room and took his place at the front, Mrs Addams followed.

  “We’ve called an assembly to make you aware of a matter.” Mrs Addams said.

  “It’s not a matter,” Mr Elliot replied, I glanced at Mickey as he bit his lip. “Well it’s not.” He said.

  “Okay, not a matter” Mrs Addams said then shrugged. “Look as you all know we’ve got a diverse school, which is why we have Mr Elliot as our LGBT coordinator for anyone to talk to.” She said, so I frowned at Morgan who was listening quite intently. “I know a lot of you are familiar with the LGB aspect of Mr Elliot’s title, of course it’s very known.” She said, I tensed, I felt as my entire body tensed, both Morgan and Mickey’s hands landed on my shoulders. “We’ve never actually had to approach the T, not by us deciding not to but because it has never arisen.” She said, I shook my head.

  “No.” I said softly, I felt Morgan squeeze my shoulder as Mickey took his hand from my shoulder and ran it down my arm so he could hold my hand.

  “Now it has arisen. We have a transsexual student within sixth form.” She said, I continued to shake my head.

  “We don’t use that word anymore.” I whispered; Morgan looked at me then raised his hand.

  “Now of course this doesn’t affect a huge number of you” Mrs Addams said, as I looked at Mr Elliot as he shook his head, “yes?” Mrs Addams queried, sounding quite frustrated as Morgan lowered his hand.

  “Why are you telling us about it then?” Morgan asked, and Mrs Addams took a deep breath.

  “I’m informing you because if anyone would like to discuss it.” She said, Morgan frowned.

  “Why is that any concern of someone who it doesn’t affect? I also think half of this room don’t understand fully what trans is.” he said adding the silent, like you at the end of it.

  “Well that’s what these sessions are for, anyone is free to go to Mr Elliot and ask for advice.”

  “Advice?” Morgan repeated, I felt myself relax as I smiled at Morgan. “Why’d anyone need advice about a trans student – if it’s not them and if they haven’t noticed it prior to this meeting.” He said.

  “Well stuff like how to treat a transgender student, how to talk to.”

  “Like any other person.” Morgan said bluntly.

  “Morgan.” Mrs Addams said, sounding reasonably annoyed whereas Mr Elliot was stood leaning on the wall smiling slightly – he’d obviously tried to say this in the staff room before this meeting. Mrs Addams on the other hand looked extremely pissed off.

  “Morgan, I understand what you’re saying.” Mr Elliot butted in before Mrs Addams could fume. “But there are some people in here who don’t know what the let’s say for the sake of an argument, the ‘correct’ way to address someone who’s trans.” He said, Morgan nodded slowly – he must have more of a tolerance for Mr Elliot. I think everyone did.

  “Okay yes, I get that but ask any Year Thirteen they haven’t noticed that one of our year is trans.” Morgan said, I glanced around the room as everyone murmured.

  “Yes but…” Mr Elliot began then looked at Mrs Addams. “He has a point.” He said, satisfying Morgan hugely.

  “And just one more thing,” Morgan said, all the teachers sighed. “Transgender. Not transsexual.” He said then glanced at me, “Right?” He asked, I nodded.

  “Right.” I whispered back. I waited until the teachers left and enough people to stand up to follow Mr Elliot back to his room, he held the door open for me once he went in, then closed it behind him. “What the hell happened?” I asked, he shook his head.

  “It’s not an option this time, you’re having a cup of tea.” He said.

  “I don’t like tea.” I replied, he looked at me.

  “How many sugars in your coffee then?” He asked, I put two fingers up to him then placed my bag on the floor and sat the closest table to his desk. He slid the mug to me then sat beside me; we both took a long sip.

  “After Morgan came to see me, Mrs Addams called me to her office.” He said, I frowned, “there had been rumours flying around that there was a Trans student, apparently what I heard, was someone overheard a conversation that they shouldn’t have and began telling people. Everyone assumed it was you, because you’re new and pretty much the entirety of sixth went to school together, so you were the obvious.” He said, I shook my head.

  “Why aren’t they getting into trouble?” I asked.

  “Because I don’t know who it was.” He said, I looked at him.

  “Does Mrs Addams?”

  “I don’t know Casey. I don’t know enough right now, but I do know this was unacceptable and what was even more was the emergency assembly that was called.” He said, I swallowed down a lot of coffee then shook my head.

  “What do I do now? I was supposed to be stealth, there’s five weeks until we finish, until my last exam, until everything changes for the better. I was supposed to not stress, supposed to relax on the weeks leading up. It’s why we moved; it’s why I came here.”

  “Give it a week.” He said, I frowned. “Things die in school most of the time. It should just die out, no one will care because no one will know who.”

  “But now it’s been confirmed. There is a trans student in our sixth form and it’s the guy no one knows.” I said, he sighed. “I’m transgender, just in case anyone asked, I don’t use transsexual, many young trans people don’t use transsexual. If you struggle, you should just use trans.”

  “I will correct.” He said, I nodded. “Now I’m sure Mickey’s out there waiting for you.” He said, I nodded. “Come and see me the minute you need to Casey. If you hear anything, if you want to talk, if someone says anything to you, come and see me.”

  “Thank you.” I said, he nodded as he stood and opened the door, I turned as Mickey stepped up to it.

  “You walk so fast.” He said, I smiled. “Like we lost you quite quickly then.” He said then took his phone out of his pocket. “Morgan’s at Mrs Addams office.” He said, “I don’t know why, it was a stupid thought but we split up.” He said, I glanced at Mr Elliot as he smiled.

  “Go home boys. I’ll man the fort. Try to find out as much as I can from our staff meeting tonight.” Mr Elliot said, we both nodded as I stood and took Mickey’s offered hand. I waited until Mr Elliot closed his door to pull Mickey closer to me and kiss him.

  “What?” He said so
ftly.

  “I owed you a kiss.” I said nodding, “and my God, I needed to do that.” I added, he grinned slightly.

  “Did you run?” Morgan asked, once we met with him in the corridor.

  “No, I really didn’t.” I said, Morgan shook his head.

  “Fast.” He whispered as we began to leave. “Did you find out anything?”

  “No.” I murmured, “nothing to find out unfortunately, someone must have heard us talking about my surgery or something and decided to inform everyone.” I said then shrugged, “whatever.” I added as I walked in front of them, I saw them both run to catch up with me, when they reached me Mickey linked his arm around mine.

  “So you don’t run off again.” He said.

  “Are you actually okay?” Morgan asked.

  “Whatever.” I repeated sighing as I did, he nodded slowly to me.

  “Okay.” He said shrugging at me so I nodded to him and continued walking.

  I made cautious eye contact as I walked past the group of Year Twelves that were almost blocking the entire path, I could see Morgan and Mickey on the other side of the gang, both leaning on the sixth form building waiting for me, so I walked a little faster, not stopping when I heard one of the group laugh.

  “Oh look, there she goes.” One said, I rolled my eyes as I continued walking.

  I remember it used to physically hurt me when people misgendered me, until I was thirteen and we as a family went to a restaurant, the waitress asked me, ‘What do you want Sir?’ And it was the best feeling ever, after that and before I got my T, I remembered how that felt whenever someone used female pronouns to describe me.

  Since T kicked in no one stumbled over my pronouns, which was why I knew they were saying it to get to me and I’d have condemned them if it wasn’t such a poor attempt to get under my skin. I looked up as Mickey pushed himself off the wall, looking at me curiously.

  “Aw come on, don’t run away little girl.” Another said, I shook my head quite simply at Mickey as he began to walk towards me, he stayed where he was quite sensibly.

  “Obviously doesn’t have enough balls to face us.” One said, they all laughed.

  “No balls at all.” Another said, they must have been getting closer to me, I saw Mickey take a wary step forward.

  “Face us you fucking tranny.” A different voice said, I felt myself stop walking.

  “What did you just call me?” I asked, turning to them, I saw out the corner of my eye as Mickey and Morgan moved towards me whilst my back was to them, the group laughed. “What… did… you… just… call… me?” I repeated, the biggest took a step towards me, making me look up at him

  “Fucking…” He said, ensuring he cherished it, “…Tranny.” He finished.

  “Thought so,” I said nodding as he laughed, just laughed until I punched him, I felt someone grab my arm so I turned and looked at Morgan as he gawped.

  “Oh my God.” He said, I looked back at the biggest one as he clutched his nose, “what did he say to you?” He asked, I shook my head.

  “Can we just go to the common room?” I asked, he nodded, turning me by my arm then pushing me in front of them both as we walked.

  It took exactly twenty-four minutes for Mr Wright, the head of Sixth Form to come into the common room and point at me, so I went with him, looking over my shoulder at Mickey and Morgan as they watched me go.

  “Care to tell me Casey why I have a year twelve with a bloody nose?” Mr Wright asked, once he took a seat in his office.

  “I want to speak to Mr Elliot.” I replied.

  “Well you’re talking to me, and I recommend you do talk to me otherwise your punishment will be far harsher than it currently is. You want to take your exams don’t you Casey?”

  “I want to speak to Mr Elliot.”

  “Casey!”

  “I WANT to speak to Mr Elliot.” I repeated then looked at him, “now.” I added.

  “From what I heard you punched a Year Twelve student with no motive.”

  “Mr Elliot.” I said back to him.

  “He has been taken to A and E as there are worries you broke it.”

  “Good.” I murmured, “Mr Elliot, now.” I added, he sighed sounding frustrated.

  “You are talking to me.” He replied then looked up as I turned to the knock on his door. “Yes?” Mr Wright asked, the door opened, I relaxed.

  “I had a feeling I was needed.” Mr Elliot said, Mr Wright scowled, “call it a hunch.” He added then looked at me as I just looked back at him, swallowing heavily because it was getting harder to not cry. “I think Casey and I need a chat, then he’s all yours. Okay Stephen?” He said, Mr Wright sighed but nodded standing and leaving his office.

  “How did you know?” I asked as he sat on the seat next to me, he almost smiled.

  “Mickey.” We said together, he nodded.

  “Came to my classroom and stated you needed my help. What happened?” He asked, I looked up at him, felt as my breathing caught and looked down again. “Why did you punch him Casey?” He asked.

  “He called me a tranny.” I said then sniffed as I felt tears roll down the sides of my nose, “I didn’t do anything, he was calling me for all kinds but I couldn’t let him say that and get away with it.” I said then shook my head, as I wiped my eyes with my blazer sleeve, “I wouldn’t have punched him if he hadn’t enjoyed saying it so much.” I said, then bowed my head so he couldn’t see that I was crying. Amazingly he figured it out anyway and stood from his seat, to hug me which I allowed him too.

  “I’m only doing this because you’re eighteen.” He whispered; I laughed a very wet laugh. “And because you need it of course.” He added.

  “Mr Elliot.” I said, so he looked at me, “would there be a way I can do my exams without coming into school?” I asked as I raised my head so I was looking back at him. “Like study leave? I’d rather leave on my own accord and not get suspended but I want to do my exams.”

  “That’s ultimately Mr Wright’s decision.”

  “Great. I’m being expelled.” I said, he hit my knee very lightly.

  “Mr Wright isn’t a bad man.” He said, “now, I’m going to talk to Mr Wright, because what happened was unacceptable.”

  “On both accounts?”

  “As a teacher, yes, as a gay man with a husband and a son, no, you did right.”

  “But you have to be a teacher, right?” I asked, he nodded.

  “Are you okay?” He asked, I shook my head.

  “No, not at all.” I said then sighed. “You have a husband and a son?” I asked, he nodded.

  “Bailey and Tyler. Tyler’s five, just started school.” He said smiling at me, I smiled back. “Mickey’s in my classroom, I’m not sure how wise it was leaving him there, but he’s there, go to him I’ll talk to Mr Wright then I’ll come and find you.”

  “Okay.” I said nodding, “thank you.” I added, before leaving the office with him, I walked past a very unamused Mr Wright before going into Mr Elliot’s classroom, Mickey was sat with a cup of coffee, I raised my eyebrows at him.

  “Casey!” He said then stood and practically picked me up when he hugged me. “Tell me what happened?” He stated.

  “Two sugars in my coffee.” I replied, he nodded to me as he stood and turned the kettle back on.

  Mr Elliot returned to the classroom as we stood at his sink washing his mugs for him, he seemed to watch us for a little while before clearing his throat so we’d both turn.

  “Thank you.” He said nodding, “Casey.” He added, I put my mug on the side and went to him. “As it stands, I’ve come to an agreement with Mr Wright that you can complete your examinations.” He said, I nodded as I sat beside him. “And not attend lessons.” He added, I saw as Mickey looked over.

  “I’m not running away.” I stated, Mickey cocked his eyebrow at me, “I don’t see it as that. I see it as keeping myself safe before my surgery.” I said.

  “Right.” He replied, “okay.” He added, Mr Elliot nod
ded.

  “You will sit your exams on the days already set, you will be expected to come into school, in uniform on them days of course.” He said.

  “Of course.” I replied, “what’s the catch?” I added, he shook his head.

  “You finish school in four weeks Casey, there’s no point. It’ll be your choice if you attend you last official day but other than that, you come in for your exams. Of course, you’re very welcome to turn up to lessons if you feel like it.” He said, I turned to Mickey.

  “What do you think?”

  “I think I’ll miss you.” He said, I sighed, “you’re doing it because you don’t feel safe?” He asked, I shrugged.

  “I could become not safe.” I said, “I’m doing it so I don’t get hurt, physically or mentally because I need to go into this surgery happy.”

  “Then do it.” He said, “all we’re doing at this point is mocks and revising, can I get in on this deal?”

  “No.” Mr Elliot said.

  “Punch someone, works a treat.”

  “Casey.” Mr Elliot warned, I looked at him.

  “I will talk to my therapist about this afternoon, I will also talk to him about this decision. Okay?” I asked, they both nodded back to me.

  “You punched someone.” George repeated, I nodded whilst trying to look regretful, it didn’t work we both knew it. “Because of what he called you,” He continued, “I understand why you did Casey but you can’t go around punching people.”

  “Why not, those kind of people do worse to us.” I said, he tilted his head, “I’m sorry was that a disapproved sentence.” I said, he smiled.

  “Casey.”

  “I don’t need to deconstruct this, he called me that, I punched him because of anger, I had a cry. Now I’m requesting your opinion on me not attending lessons and just attending exams.” I said, he rubbed his forehead, I resisted laughing. “Am I stressing you out?”

  “Are your teachers happy with you not attending lessons? I’ll be most displeased if I get a call from your mother saying you’ve been playing truancy.”

  “I have teacher’s support.” I said, he nodded.

  “I don’t see any problem with you only sitting your exams depending of course you actually revise.”