Casey

by Cameron James

“Now that’s not fair.” She said, I shook my head, “you know though she doesn’t truly understand.”

  “I think she does.” I said, she frowned at me, “I do because of the things she says to me. She says it as if she knows it’ll bother me.” I said, she nodded and took a sip of her tea. “What’s Australia like?” I asked, trying to change the subject.

  “Beautiful.” She said nodding, “the kids are so happy there.”

  “That’s good.” I said, she nodded, when Cassie had moved to Australia, she’d taken her two toddlers with her, they were three and two at the time, I think.

  “We’ve been missing home though. Your Mum contacted me at Christmas, told me you were getting your surgery so I brought my flight because I had to see you, I’d have been a poor excuse for an auntie if I didn’t see you.”

  “I’d have forgiven you.” I said quickly, she smiled warmly at me. “But this is amazing. Does Mum know you’re here?”

  “Not yet. I’ll surprise her later take her out for tea maybe.” She said, I nodded. “But we’re not here to talk about your Mum, I want to talk about you. When I left you were a different person Avocado.”

  “Things fell into place, I guess. Moving here helped, I mean I guess Mickey helped in hindsight.” I said thoughtfully. “Yeah Mickey helped a lot.” I said before taking my own long sip of tea, she smiled at me as I blushed into my tea.

  “You Mum mentioned you got suspended as well.” She said, with this little quirk of a smile, I scoffed.

  “I didn’t get suspended; I chose to withdraw from education.”

  “Is that the fancy way of saying suspension?” She asked, I titled my head at her as she grinned.

  “I requested study leave.”

  “You punched someone.”

  “They called me a filthy word.” I replied.

  “Your Mum didn’t say that.”

  “No, because I didn’t tell her. I told George, but I spared Mum the details as she believed I was finally happy in school.”

  “So, you let your mother believe you just decided to punch someone.”

  “Yes.” I murmured.

  “Oh Avocado.” She replied, I looked down.

  “She didn’t punish me too much, it was better than if she knew, he would’ve had a bloody nose and broken kneecaps if she knew.” I said, Cassie laughed, I grinned back. “Please don’t think me rude.” I said, Cassie nodded, “but I’m quite tired.” I said, she nodded.

  “You’re in recovery that is to be expected Avocado.” She said, I nodded, “I’ll take you back don’t worry. I’m here for a fortnight, Australia’s too long of a flight away to just be here for a day.” She said.

  “You can meet Mickey next week maybe, when I can handle more than an hour out of the house.” I said, she smiled at me pushing my hair behind my ear again.

  “I’d love that.” She said, I nodded because I figured I’d also love that.

  Cassie took me straight back to the hospital accommodation, walking me to the door and giving me another squeezy cuddle before letting me go, I waved to her as she left then went through to the bedroom to have a nap.

  Mickey came on Wednesday, he’d taken me on a walk around the gardens in the afternoon after declaring I needed to get out, we got halfway before I had to sit down because I was tired. So we sat for almost two hours then made our way back.

  When I suggested watching films all day on Thursday he hastily agreed.

  “Can you do something for me?” I asked after we’d finally decided to have beans on toast for tea.

  “Anything.” He replied, I looked up at him, as we’d figured out it was far, far more comfortable for me to lie down than sit next to him, as long as I didn’t put my thighs together, we were doing well so far.

  “I’d be more wary before you say anything this time.” I said, he frowned,

  “Why?” he said, so I sat myself up very slowly,

  “Because I’m going to ask you to help me do my testosterone.” I said, his frown became curious.

  “How?” he asked,

  “It’s injected into my thigh.” I said, “but, right now I can’t spread my legs far enough apart to do it myself.” I said, he grinned lightly “Mickey,” I shunned very lightly because it had amused me.

  “So you want me to?”

  “Inject it.”

  “Shit.” He said, I smiled at him.

  “It’s okay. I promise it’s not that hard, I just can’t do both.” I said.

  “I’ll try.” He said.

  “Thank you.” I said, “thank you, I’ll get it and put it together and everything.” I said, he nodded, giving me his hand so that I could get off the couch. Mum had luckily packed my testosterone, so I took the box out, going to sit back opposite Mickey, sighing as I sat.

  “It’ll stop hurting soon.” He whispered, I nodded.

  “I hope so, I’ve missed sitting on my legs.” I said, as I passed the little beaker to Mickey, he frowned as he took it, looking into the little beaker curiously then looked at me as I put together the needle.

  “You do this every week?”

  “Yes.” I said, “although last week the Nurse did it.” I said.

  “Yeah obviously.” He said, I nodded to him taking the beaker back and filling the needle. “When did you learn to do it yourself?”

  “When I was put on it.” I said, “but Mum insisted, in case I did it wrong.” I said.

  “That doesn’t fill me with confidence.” He said, as I passed him the needle.

  “It’s okay! Honest, just make sure it goes into my thigh, and when it’s in press the top.”

  “Okay.” He said, I smiled at him as I turned up my shorts and wiped a cotton wool bud over my thigh.

  “Okay?” I asked, he nodded and did it, looking at me a little panicked before pressing the top of the needle then let out a deep breath, as I nodded to him, he pulled the needle out, “Thank you.” I said, he looked at me, so I took the needle from him. “We’re not going to discuss how much that hurt.” I added, whilst sitting up straight, he kissed my cheek.

  “You trusted me to do that.” He said, I nodded.

  “Of course I did, why wouldn’t I have?” I said as I threw the needle into the yellow box Mum had also put in my suitcase, he caught my chin as I sat back up and kissed me properly, I laughed into it before kissing him back.

  I made Mickey get the door when it was knocked on, on Friday morning. I figured it’d be Doctor Knight so took my time getting out of bed.

  “Casey.” Mickey called as I finally stood up and began to walk into the living room, at the very least my walk had become less of a waddle, I could put my thighs a little closer together but still refrained as I really didn’t want to inflict my own pain.

  “Is it Doctor Knight?”

  “No.” Mickey said amused as I walked in, then I looked at who was at the door.

  “Aoife!” I shouted at her, she laughed then ran at me, hugging me very carefully.

  “I told you I’d come and visit, I told you.” She said simply, “how could I not come and visit you on the most important surgery in your life?” She said, “now, tell me everything, every gory detail, in fine detail.” She said as we sat down, Mickey laughed behind me.

  “I think I’ll make some breakfast. Hungry?” He asked, I nodded to him, smiling sweetly at him as he went into the kitchen.

  “So, let me see your arm.” Aoife said, I shook my head at her laughing before I began to peel off the plaster to show her.

  We all stopped talking the moment there was another knock on the door.

  “That’ll be Doctor Knight?” Mickey said, I nodded.

  “Unless I’m getting another surprise visitor.” I replied, grinning at Aoife.

  “I’m the best surprise though. Right?” She said, I nodded.

  “Of course! Of course you are.” I said as Mickey opened the door, smiling at Doctor Knight on the other side.

  “Oh I didn’t realise you had company.” She said as I stood,
to prove I’d been walking around.

  “They’re fine don’t worry.” I said, she nodded.

  “I’ve come to hopefully remove your bandages for good.” She said, “I of course will give you a check-up, your arm too. Okay?”

  “Perfect.” I replied, as Mickey sat beside Aoife on the couch.

  “Would you like to do it in the bedroom?” She asked, I looked at Mickey and Aoife.

  “It’s okay.” I said then looked back at Doctor Knight. “Unless it’s easier for you.” I added.

  “We’ll do it in the bedroom, okay? You should be the first to see your penis.” She said, so I went with her, she dressed my arm first, seeming pleased with how it was healing, “okay, I’ll take off your bandages, will give you a check over then send you for a shower.” She said, I laughed.

  “Is that a hint?” I asked, she winked at me as I removed my shorts and let her look for whatever she was looking for, she seemed quite pleased.

  “You’re healing very well.” She said, “I won’t redress you, but you will have to keep up cleaning of course, you don’t want to get an infection or anything like that because you’re not cleaning your penis.”

  “Yes Doctor Knight.” I replied, she tapped my shoulder as if telling me off.

  “No playing with it yet, and we’ll meet up again in a week or two and discuss urinating whilst standing.” She said, I looked down, “my nurses have told me you’ve been badgering them about that.” She said somewhat affectionately, “I’m happy. Are you?” She asked, I let out a very deep breath.

  “I’m happy.” I said nodding.

  “Brill, now go for a shower, I’ll go inform your boyfriend of his almond oil duties.” She said happily, I grinned at her before stepping into the bathroom.

  It felt nice to be both clean and dressed, admittedly. I stood just letting the water cover me for far longer than I needed to, then changed my stinking t-shirt and put a pair of jogging bottoms on, swaying my hips once I had because I could feel the fabric and it felt odd. Nice, but odd. All three of them looked at me, almost judging me when I appeared still swaying my hips.

  “Yes, it will be extremely sensitive.” Doctor Knight said, smiling at me, in a rather fond way. I blushed; I could feel it all the way up to my ears. “But remember, keep up cleaning Casey, Milo will be able to tell you horror stories.”

  “I don’t need scare tactics.” I said, “but I may still ask.” I said, she grinned.

  “Call me sweetheart, we’ll talk okay?” She said to Aoife as she stood, Aoife nodded to her, “and you, no playing with his penis just yet.” She said to Mickey, who grinned back at her, “a fortnight Casey, okay?”

  “Thank you.” I said nodding to her, I walked her too the door, then glanced over my shoulder at Mickey and Aoife.

  “You realise we are going out.” Aoife said, I grinned.

  Aoife decided she must take me for fast food, I agreed as I’d been living off hospital food the last month. I heard no objections from Mickey, so I took Aoife’s hand and let her lead the way.

  “I thought you should be the first to know.” She said, once Mickey had caught up to us, walking alongside me.

  “To know?” I repeated, she nodded.

  “I accepted my offer to come to university here.” She said, I squeaked, “and have somewhere to leave come September, so, you’ll be seeing a whole lot of me.” She said grinning, I stopped walking to hug her, humming curiously when my crotch touched her thigh and sent a spark of pleasure-pain up me. “You’re extremely sensitive Mister.” She said tapping my shoulder, “keep your boyfriend in check Michael.” She stated.

  “You know his name’s Michael?” I said, they both looked at me.

  “I figured that one out sweetheart.” She replied, I almost rolled my eyes.

  “You’re in conversations with Doctor Knight?”

  “We just got talking, she mentioned about me being transferred over.” She shrugged, so I looked at Mickey.

  “They were talking a different language Case.” He said as he pushed open the door to the fast food restaurant and let me in.

  I wiggled around a lot on the hard, plastic seat that I’d sat on, I saw as it amused both of them while they ordered.

  I looked at them, I looked at them together, as two people stood next to each other and I grinned. Aoife was almost as tall as Mickey, I’m sure in a pair of heels she’d tower over him. To me, they looked as if they could be related, both with fair brown hair and the same kind of smile on their faces, then they both looked at me, as they were obviously talking about me, I grinned back at them almost too widely.

  Aoife had come in jeans today, that matched Mickey as they were born wearing dark denim skinny jeans, Aoife’s however was accompanied by a long t-shirt that had a lot of glitter on it, I hadn’t looked at it long enough to figure out what was actually on it. Mickey just wore a white t-shirt with blue sleeves. I stared at them until Mickey brought me food, walking around the table to sit beside me, whilst Aoife sat opposite.

  “Did you have many visitors?” Aoife asked, after she’d allowed me to enjoy the first few bites of my burger.

  “The group came to see me on Monday.” I said, “came to do group with me.”

  “That’s adorable.” Aoife said, I grinned.

  “And I saw Aunt Cassie on Tuesday.”

  “No shit.” Mickey said, I nodded.

  “She flew over to see me, is staying for a fortnight.” I said.

  “Aunt Cassie was the best person ever.” Aoife said, I agreed. “I felt as if she was helping with my transition, not just yours.” She said.

  “I feel like I’ve missed out on a person.” Mickey said pouting at me, I shook my head.

  “You can meet her next week.” I said, “she wants to meet you actually.” I said, he looked at Aoife.

  “Will she like me?”

  “She calls him Avocado.” She replied, Mickey gasped at me, I took more bites from my burger.

  “Why does she call you Avocado? Where did that come from?”

  “I was little.” I said, “little like an Avocado.” I replied, they both laughed.

  “He’s also a salty bitch.” Aoife said, I grinned at her.

  “Now you’re here you can pursue Kaiden, no?” I said, she scowled because she knew she couldn’t kick me as I was now post-surgery.

  “He is cute, but that is where I am leaving it now, I’m coming here to study not to…” She began then whipped her head to look at Mickey as he laughed.

  “Kaiden is hot as.” He said, I almost glared at him, “if you don’t pursue him, I will.”

  “Mickey.” I said simply.

  “It’s okay. We’ll have a threesome.” He said, I coughed, “or poly? Could we poly?”

  “No.” I said simply, “we cannot.”

  “So closed minded.” He tutted; I raised my eyebrow at him.

  “I’m starting to think though, what if I’m only attracted to trans guys? Is there a name for that?”

  “Yes.” Aoife said, Mickey looked at her, “gay.” She added, he scowled.

  “You’re homosexual Mickey.” I said, he gasped.

  “Oh my God I never knew Casey! This is a shocking revelation.” He said quite dramatically as he held two rather long chips between his thumb and first finger. “I’m going to need a moment to process this.”

  “Oh you’re hilarious.” Aoife said, “where’s Morgan?” she added, I giggled as she grinned at me.

  “Ireland.” I said, as Mickey did.

  “Oh.” She tutted, “I like Morgan.”

  “I like Morgan too.” I said, Mickey almost snorted.

  “I’m just here for my dick aren’t I.”

  “You most certainly are.” I replied then kissed his cheek. “And you’re pretty.”

  “I’m going to let my beard grow.” He said, I rolled my eyes at him.

  ⚫⚫⚫

  My Dad came to take me home. Mickey got the bus home a few hours before Dad arrived. He packed my suitcase
for me, gave me a lingering kiss then left for the bus. Dad seemed impressed at both the tidiness of the room and the fact my bag was packed when he arrived.

  “Did a little fairy come and tidy up for you?” He asked, I laughed quite loudly.

  “I wouldn’t call Mickey a fairy, he’s probably less of a fairy than I am.” I said, his amusement was quite clear.

  “I didn’t mean that.” He said laughing, “do you want to go straight home?”

  “Is Aunt Cassie at home?”

  “With your Mum, shopping.” He said.

  “Detour?”

  “I can detour.” He said nodding, as he lifted my suitcase and took it down to the car, I followed, doing one last sweep of the room before closing the door behind me, hearing the lock click into place.

  When Dad detoured, he didn’t detour to a place, he just drove. He found the longest, straightest road and he just drove, ensuring he followed the roads all the way and I loved it.

  He started doing it when I was a baby, he says it helped me sleep, if ever I was colic or just awake, he’d strap me into the car and just drive until I feel asleep.

  He did it a lot at the beginning of my transition to calm me, he discovered driving in the rain calmed me quicker, so whenever it began to rain, we got in the car.

  He did it during my primary school exams and through my GCSE’s, he did it the day after I’d sobbed so much I was sick, and he did it today. But I could tell that today he wasn’t doing it to calm me.

  The sun was bright and hot, so we rolled the windows down, the roads were clear but he kept to the speed limit and we sat in silence for a little while, until he said:

  “We could start teaching you to drive now.”

  “Yeah.” I said nodding, “it seems I’ll have lots of free time.” I replied, he smiled at me. “I’d quite like to learn to drive.”

  “Then you can ferry yourself to and from work.”

  “Motives.” I replied, he laughed.

  “I will not be a taxi service.”

  “It’s literally in the name, Dad’s taxi.”

  “You wish son.” He replied, I smiled out the window, as I leant my elbow on the window and held the roof. “Aunt Cassie told us she’d gone to see you.” He said.

  “It was a nice surprise.” I replied turning my head to look at him, he seemed to just be looking back at me.