Beautiful Bad

by Annie Ward

  “What did we do?” Maddie asked, looking lost. “We stayed in the kitchen. We stayed in the kitchen, and I made a corn dog for Charlie, and I started to make the grown-up dinner. Ian came up and said, ‘I’m going to pop into town,’ and he left. He was gone a long time. I fed Charlie, and then finally when Ian never showed up, Joanna and I ate, and I put Charlie to bed early. Later he came back with wine and vodka and some, like, cheese and stuff. It was weird but that’s Ian. Kind of unpredictable. I was happy, though. Like, wow, maybe he’s going to be nice.”

  Shipps waited for her to go on, and when she didn’t, he prompted her. “Uh-huh. And then?”

  “He asked me to put something together. A cheese-board thing. He said, ‘We have a guest and I made it home in one piece from Nigeria and we’re going to celebrate!’ I kind of sensed he was being sarcastic, but I didn’t want to rock the boat. I just put out the cheese and crackers hoping he would keep calm. He and I have had some bad arguments the last couple of years and sometimes he scares me, and that’s what was happening. I was starting to feel scared.”

  “Scared of what, exactly?”

  “That he would get angry and start yelling.”

  Shipps reached out and put a tentative hand on her wrist. “Has he ever hurt you, Maddie?”

  “No.” She paused. “Not that I know of.”

  They sat in silence.

  “What happened to your eye?”

  “I fell. On a camping trip. It was an accident. That’s what Ian said happened, but I can’t remember it. I got a concussion. There were two police officers there when I was getting my stitches who said my injury was inconsistent with a fall. But I always believed Ian when he said that I fell. Recently I started to have some questions about that night, but I never, I never... Let’s just say that I have always, umm, maintained that I fell.”

  “Right. And where were you treated?”

  “Glen Haven Hospital. Close to Estes Park.”

  Shipps was writing. “Glen. Haven.”

  “Yes.”

  “Okay. So you set out some food and then what?”

  “And then we all sat down at the kitchen table. Ian drank vodka, and he wanted us to drink vodka, too, but we didn’t. We drank wine. For a while, it seemed like it was going to be okay because we just talked about Ohrid and the Irish Pub. Hillbilly Buck and Milosevic and Macedonia. We were even laughing about Club Lipstick and the boys of Vengeant. But we’d been drinking for a while by then, and Joanna can be, well, sort of mouthy. She mentioned the fact that Ian thought she’d tried to get him fired back then when we all first met. She said something like, ‘I can’t believe you thought it was me,’ and he said, ‘It was you. You were lying then and you’re lying now.’ That was what did it.”

  Diane pressed Stop. She got up and walked over to the door to Shipps’s office. She gave a perfunctory knock on the glass door, and he responded by waving at her to enter.

  She leaned inside. “What’re all those strange words she keeps using?”

  Shipps laughed. “Are you enjoying the interview? It’s some Eastern European language. The pair of them, they’re what you call multilinguals.”

  “You make it sound kind of dirty. Wink wink.”

  “Wait until you meet Wayne,” said Shipps with a huge smile.

  “Oh I met him! Wayne. Wayne Randall. Wayne Randall sure thinks that horrible man got exactly what he deserved.”

  “Told me the same thing. Called him a disgrace, a nut, a liar and a loser.”

  “Oh that’s nothing. I was told Ian was a good-for-nothing son of bitch, as if this whole thing is a 1920s western.”

  “Ha! Wayne is not a fan of Ian Wilson.”

  Diane made a face. “Hmm. Might be that Wayne Randall is a very big fan of Maddie.”

  “Bit old, isn’t he? To have a crush?” Shipps chuckled and sighed. “She’s a striking woman, all right. Back in the day? I wouldn’t have kicked her out of bed for eating cookies.”

  “Please. I’ve got enough gory shit to wade through here without any more from you.”

  “Sorry.”

  “Her eyes, though,” Diane suggested. “They’re strange, aren’t they?”

  “Very. Shame about the...” He gestured to the left side of his face with disgust.

  “Do you think he did that to her?”

  “I know the police in Glen Haven, Colorado, think he did that to her.”

  Diane gave this some thought. “Okay. I’m going to go finish.” She walked back to her desk, sat down at her computer and pressed Play.

  On the screen, Shipps was leaning forward toward Maddie. “What do you mean, that was what did it?”

  “That really pissed him off. Ian laughed out loud and drained his glass of vodka and then he smashed it on the floor. He yelled at Jo, ‘I can’t believe you’re still lying about everything.’ And then she was yelling and saying he was the liar and she was going to tell me—”

  “Tell you what?”

  “They had, like, an affair. A long time ago. And Ian laughed again and said, ‘I already told her about hate-fucking you.’ That’s when Jo stood up and slapped him.”

  “Ms. Jasinski slapped him?” Shipps asked, leaning back as if stunned by this news.

  “Yes.” Maddie started crying violently, and it took her some time to regain control. “And he went wild. He knocked stuff over. I finally decided I better do something. I picked up the house phone and was going to call 911. But then I heard Charlie say, ‘Mommy?’ Oh God, it was terrible. Charlie was coming down the stairs. The noise had woken him. Ian yelled at him. ‘Go back to bed! Go back to bed, or I am going to fucking murder you!’ I ran over to Charlie. I caught him at the bottom of the stairs, and I told him to run back upstairs, to run away fast and go get back in bed. I think I must have pressed Talk on the phone because someone was on the line, but just then I looked back over into the kitchen, and Joanna was on the floor. Ian was on top of her. I asked the operator to hurry, to please help us. Then I dropped the phone. That’s when I went back to the kitchen to help her. I didn’t know what to do. There was a knife in the sink.” Even though the camera was mounted high, Diane could see that Maddie was shaking. Visibly.

  “Take your time,” Shipps said, sounding concerned.

  It was hard for Diane to make out everything Maddie said after that because she was talking through tears, but it sounded like, “I stabbed him in the back. I did! Oh God, I did it. I stabbed Ian and then, and then... He didn’t stop strangling her after that, so I did it again. And then he finally let go. He rolled off her and I helped her up. He looked at us and said the same thing he’d said to Charlie which was, ‘I’m going to fucking murder you.’ Umm. So we ran. Jo was very weak, so I had to help her. We had to go find Charlie. And once we were upstairs we decided to hide. Joanna was barely functioning and I had Charlie with me and I thought Ian was still coming after us. What was I going to do? Try to get a hurt woman and a toddler out of the house? We hid. And then soon after, the lady officer was there.”

  “All right, Madeline. I think that’s enough for now. Do you have anything further you would like to say?” Shipps asked.

  “No. Except that I’m sorry.” Maddie dropped her head onto her arms. “I didn’t want to kill him, I just wanted to stop him from hurting her. I loved him. Oh my God, I loved him so much. I didn’t mean to. God forgive me.”

  “Hey, Diane.”

  Diane jumped out of her skin. CJ was standing beside her and she hadn’t even noticed, she’d been so focused on thoughts of Madeline Wilson.

  “You scared the shit out of me, CJ!”

  He laughed and set a can of Budweiser on the desk next to her mouse pad. “Shipps told me to bring this to you.”

  “What?” Diane said. “It’s not even three o’clock.”

  “Are you watching his interview with Joanna Jasinski?”


  “I’m about to.”

  “He said you might need a drink.”

  Diane leaned back, belly laughing. “All right then. Thank you!”

  She pressed Play. Shipps was cautioning Joanna. “It’s my responsibility to let you know this interview is being recorded. Anything you say can and will—”

  Fast forward. Play.

  Joanna was speaking in a monotone. “Joanna Marie Jasinski, Richmond, Virginia.”

  Diane fast-forwarded again. Joanna was ticking things off on her fingers. “Amnesty International, a brief stint at Doctors Without Borders, several refugee relief organizations. Women and children mostly. I was the project manager for Focus on Family, which operates under the umbrella of—”

  Diane pressed Fast Forward again.

  Shipps appeared to be looking for something he’d written in his notebook. “If you would just give me one second—”

  “One second!” Joanna said loudly, looking outraged. “One second? We’ve been beating around the bush for an hour. Can we get to the fucking details already?”

  Diane popped the tab on her Budweiser.

  Shipps sighed loudly enough that Diane could hear his exasperation. “It’s required information, Ms. Jasinski. I understand that you’re frustrated.”

  “Do you? Do you really? Ian Wilson almost killed me. This has been what I call a really, really shitty night.”

  “Why do you think he did that?”

  “Because he was an alcoholic shit stain with PTSD who was spiraling into psychosis.”

  Diane slugged some beer and wiped her chin.

  Shipps played with his pen. “Did you slap him?”

  “Yes, I fucking slapped him.”

  “Why?”

  Joanna leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms over her chest. “He said something I found to be offensive.”

  “What was it?” Shipps waited a long time, but no answer was forthcoming. He went on, “You two had a complicated relationship? Yeah? No?” Again he waited and got nothing. “You had a sexual relationship, right? Way back?”

  Joanna gave in. “Ugh. Yes. A few times. Until I figured out that he stabbed me in the back.”

  Shipps gaped at her for a second and then said, “Care to rephrase?”

  Joanna considered this and then burst into laughter. “No. Oh! Oh fuck. Sorry. Until he stabbed me in the—” She literally could not stop laughing. At one point she was hugging her stomach and her mouth was open, but no noise was coming out. Eventually she recovered. “Oh my God,” she said, wiping her eyes. “Yeah, that was bad. That was totally unintended.”

  Shipps tried to move on. “All right. So what do you mean by that?”

  “When we all first met I was working in a part of the world where you sometimes have to bend the rules a little to get things accomplished. I was trying to get supplies delivered to some refugee camps, and I paid some people to help me achieve that end. Ian knew about it. He thought I’d tried to get him fired from his job, so he tried to get me fired from mine. He told people I was involved in some illegal stuff, and it worked. I was let go. He was a dick. I told Maddie to forget him. I certainly warned her against dating him, God forbid marrying him and having a child with him. I always knew—and let’s be honest—I think everyone always knew that this is the way that relationship would turn out.”

  “With him stabbed to death in his own home?” Shipps asked deadpan.

  “With one of them dead. Better him than her. He’s a monster! Did you see what he did to her face?”

  “You’re sure Ian Wilson did that to her?”

  “News at eleven! What the fuck? She doesn’t know what happened for sure because her head was bashed in, and now she can’t remember that night, but Ian, ever so helpful Ian, he helped her piece it all together. You’re buying that? She fell, poor baby, she fell in such a way that two cops in Colorado detained her all night trying to get her to admit that her husband bludgeoned her with a tree branch! But Maddie’s all, ‘No, he wouldn’t. No, he didn’t.’ Bull fucking horse shit.”

  “I’m going to check that out.”

  Joanna rolled her eyes like a teenager. “Really! Well, good for you. You want a trophy? You are a police officer.”

  Shipps said calmly, “You’re off the charts angry. That makes me wonder.”

  “That makes you ‘wonder’? What are you, a six-year-old? I’m angry because I was nearly murdered earlier tonight, my throat is killing me and I’m still sitting here talking to you when I want some ibuprofen, a whiskey and my bed.”

  “I get it. Just walk me through your version, and I’ll get you all home, okay?”

  Joanna bent toward him. “We came home from the doggie playground, and Ian was there. He was not excited to see me, okay? He started drinking. Maddie was scared and nervous. He left the house for a while and came back with bags of booze and some cheese and crackers and said, ‘Okay let’s play nice. Let’s all be friends.’ That didn’t last. He starts making Maddie cry with stories about how he and I used to get together. Awesome, right? Super cool. He was being an asshole, and I told him so. He started shouting at me and wagging his finger in my face. Okay, no. I don’t take that bullshit from anyone. I slapped him. Then he went for me, and we were like, wrestling. Maddie grabbed the phone and I was glad. It was time to call 911 on him. But then we heard Charlie crying. The poor kid had woken up and was standing at the bottom of the stairs. Maddie went over to him. Ian was yelling at him. I think Charlie was saying ‘Daddy, I’m sorry,’ and Ian answered, ‘I’ll make you sorry.’ It was horrible, seriously. The next thing I know, I’m down, I’m on my back. He takes a comfy seat on my stomach and wraps his hands around my neck and starts squeezing. I’m pretty sure at that point it would have been over for me if not for Maddie. He weighs probably two hundred pounds. I started to pass out.” Joanna started crying, and Diane was momentarily shocked. The woman seemed untouchable. “I thought I was going to die.”

  “Are you okay?” Shipps asked. He sounded sincere.

  And then Joanna started laughing again. Diane took several large gulps of her beer. “Hell yeah!” she said, waving one arm wildly. “I’m okay. I’m way better than okay. I’m alive! Thanks to Maddie. Because instead of him finishing up the job, he, like, just stopped. Then he let go. But then he grabbed my throat again. He was squeezing and clenching his teeth and looking right in my eyes. And then he let go again. I didn’t even know she had a knife. He fell to the side, and I saw Maddie. God she was like a ghost, she’d gone so white. She helped me stand, and he looked up at us and said, I’m going to kill you or murder you, something like that. Maddie had to practically drag me across the room. I couldn’t have made it up the stairs on my own. I think she was holding me up. I don’t know how she did it, but she managed to get me upstairs and get Charlie, and we all went and hid from Ian. And that’s that. You know the rest.”

  Shipps looked relieved and closed his notebook. “Okay. I guess we’re done. Nothing more to say?”

  Joanna pretended to think about it, her hand curled girlishly under her chin. “Oh no, sorry. I wasn’t really paying attention. Can we please go over it all one more time?”

  * * *

  After reviewing both the interviews a couple of times while she finished her beer, Diane went back to Shipps’s office and knocked.

  He waved her in, winked and said, “Have you been drinking, ma’am?”

  Diane blushed despite herself. “So Joanna Jasinski is a piece of work.”

  “A live one,” Shipps said. “Oh yeah.”

  “So,” Diane said, looking confused. “Where are we? What are we thinking?”

  Shipps swiveled in his chair, turning away from his computer to face her. “Bill’s been speaking with the family in England. I’m just waiting to hear back from the Criminal Records Department in Liverpool and I’ve got a three o’clock call with two homi
cide detectives from Kansas City who may come out for tomorrow’s interviews with the women. After the interviews we’ll have a debriefing.”

  Diane nodded but didn’t move. She looked at Shipps with a sheepish expression. Shipps gave her a fatherly smile with a tilted head. “Are you asking me what I’m thinking?”

  “Yes.”

  “I’m thinking it was defense of another. Which, like self-defense, is justifiable homicide and not a crime. No crime, no arrest. Nothing further.”

  Diane looked troubled. “Really?”

  “Really,” Shipps answered. “Were there any discrepancies in their stories? Anything you were told at the house that didn’t match up with what you just heard in the interviews?”

  “No, but—”

  “But what?”

  “I’ve got a feeling. I’m just not sure.”

  “Well, nobody’s sure yet,” Shipps said, going back to his computer. “And that’s why we’re busy dotting our i’s and crossing our t’s. Right? No rest for the weary.”

  * * *

  The next morning Diane applied a bit of makeup and wore earrings. This was a deviation from her routine. The earrings were little silver studs; the only nice jewelry she owned. She was not allowed much jewelry on the job. Studs and a wedding band, which was non-applicable in her case. With a hint of blush and lip gloss, Diane felt a tad more confident. Shipps had called early and asked if Diane could sit in on the interviews between Maddie and Jo and the Kansas City homicide detectives. For some reason she was feeling unsure of herself.

  When she arrived at the station the only person there was Bill. He did a double take. “You look nice today,” he said, staring. He realized he was gawking and abruptly looked away, thrusting his hands into his pockets like a seventh grader.

  * * *

  Diane sat down at her desk and started typing a list of questions for the interview.

  Why was a broken ballpoint found on the floor of the kitchen?

  Same question. Small paring knife found in the same place. Why?