The Proviso

by Moriah Jovan

  “I’m not sure you’re going to be able to get her over the idea that you would put all those people out of work.”

  His jaw tightened. “It was a careless remark. I hadn’t thought about it because the probability of Knox not getting OKH was less than fifty percent. Was I going to destroy the whole company? No, but Fen needs to believe I will and I have to act—think—like I will because he knows I bluff. Then I went and shot my mouth off and—I didn’t know how it would sound.”

  Giselle sighed. “Sebastian, why do you think we’re helping you do this? We know what you meant. And I’ll give you credit for having managed to keep your foot out of your mouth long enough to actually have a relationship with a woman. You were bound to piss her off sooner or later.”

  He looked around again for his blonde goddess and thought he might have seen her, but she wasn’t with a dark-haired man.

  And then the crowd gasped and stepped back. He heard Kenard roar his name. He and Giselle burst into a run and plowed their way through the crowd, ignoring the calls and yells they left in their wake.

  Sebastian’s gut clenched when he saw Eilis lying in Kenard’s arms—and she was very pregnant. He took her from Kenard, cradling her against his chest, and strode to a private place where he could bow his head over her to weep into her breasts.

  He’d learned how.

  * * * * *

  The first thing Eilis saw when she opened her eyes was marble wall, cold but for the warm glow of hidden incandescent lights. There wasn’t a lot of light, but it was enough.

  She became aware slowly that she lay cradled in Sebastian’s arms; her nose told her that. One part him, one part cologne, and one part turpentine. He caressed her bulging belly.

  “Eilis,” he whispered, and she looked up at his face, which was streaked with tears. She’d never seen a man really cry before. Of all the men she’d expect to cry, it wouldn’t have been Sebastian. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that; I was never going to do it. It was just something I’d said to make sure Fen knew I was serious and that’s just how I thought of it. Please, please don’t hold a careless remark against me.”

  She might have, if she hadn’t seen that painting—that magnificent creation that had put her on display for the world as a sparkling twenty-six-foot nude-and-pregnant fertility goddess who was loved by a master artist and craftsman.

  Eilis sighed and closed her eyes again, letting her mind remember the painting and she began to smile. “I’m pregnant,” she whispered.

  Sebastian’s laugh choked on a sob and he murmured, “Just a little bit.”

  “Sebastian,” she said, opening her eyes and looking straight into his face, “no matter what happens with Knox, promise me you won’t put those people out of work.”

  “I promise.”

  He was dead serious and she could see that he really never planned to.

  “Then I’ll take the deal. My company for yours.”

  He nodded, then said, “I have another proposal for you.”

  Eilis didn’t quite know what he meant, and then her face cleared when he dug a ring out of his pocket, emeralds and bright blue sapphires set in exquisite platinum filigree. He must have had this made when he had the necklace made.

  “Will you marry me?”

  Eilis’s mind blew and her heart stopped. Here was the commitment she’d wanted him to articulate in no uncertain terms, but she said nothing for the longest time, searching her mind, searching her soul. Wondering, doubting. He began to squirm.

  “Eilis?” he murmured. “Talk to me. Please.”

  “Sebastian,” she said slowly after another half a minute, “there’s one thing I need from you that I don’t think I’ll ever get. I thought I could deal with it, but now I know I can’t.”

  He swallowed. “What?”

  “Fidelity. Monogamy. I can’t— No, I won’t share you with anyone else. I’d rather not have you at all if I would have to watch a parade of women in and out of your studio, in and out of your bed, the one I’d share with you whenever it was my turn. You’re Ford. You’re famous for making women look beautiful because you’ve loved them so well and I will never believe you made any of them call up their own sexuality. No man who loves women as much as you do could stay faithful.”

  He stared at her, dumbfounded. “Eilis,” he whispered, “do you not know you’re the only woman I—me, Sebastian—has had an actual relationship with? Ever? I was tired of my life long before I met you, which is why I haven’t painted anyone but Giselle in six years. When I met you—with that hideous rag on, might I add—”

  Eilis couldn’t help the watery chuckle that escaped her.

  “You were the first woman I’ve wanted in my bed in all that time.” He paused. “The only thing Giselle told me about the week she spent with you was that you didn’t know what you do for me. That you thought you were too needy for me to truly love you.” Eilis’s mouth dropped open and felt not a little betrayed by that. He read her expression correctly and shook his head slowly. “No, I needed to know that because you need to know what you do for me. So listen very carefully. First off, you weren’t afraid of me.”

  “Yes, I was.”

  “No, you were afraid of Fen, afraid that I’d hand you off to him, which is completely different. You weren’t afraid of my size or the fact that I don’t smile or laugh when I’m doing business. You stood up to me when I was angry, which only my family has ever done.

  “Almost immediately, you started asking me questions about how I work, what I do, and why. You were curious about me and you picked my brain. You listened to what I told you would make you and your company better, and you acted on it. You told me when you thought I was wrong in a rational manner. You noticed that I’m ambidextrous. You went around the Ford exhibit with me and you hugged me with no sexual intent. You’re the first woman who’s ever done any of those things and I cherish you for that. For the longest time, I couldn’t tell if you were attracted to me or not, which has never happened to me before, and I loved that.”

  “Oh, Sebastian,” she whispered, “I almost came the minute you walked in my door.”

  He grinned then, silly, like a little boy who’d received an unexpected treat. “Really?”

  “At the Ford exhibit, I thought about how wonderful it would be to be on top for once because I wouldn’t break you.” He laughed. “When did you know I was attracted to you?”

  “When I kissed you after our date, after I made you eat that concrete, I thought you were attracted enough that I might have a chance at seducing you away from Ford. I went home that day and ordered everything I needed to paint you in diamonds.”

  Eilis had tears in her eyes. Her heart burst and she hadn’t known how much she needed to know this. She wanted to say—

  He put his finger over her mouth. “All this time, I’ve been waiting for a woman who’d talk to me, who’d see me for who I am. And you did.”

  Eilis pulled away a bit then, saddened. “I didn’t see you were Ford.”

  “Well. That made me mad, I’ll admit, but I guess I could’ve just told you and saved us all a lot of time and misunderstanding.”

  “I wouldn’t have believed you,” she admitted. “I’ve been thinking about that, wondering why you didn’t and—” She shrugged. “It was too out of the realm of possibility. I needed to figure it out for myself, the way you make the CEOs you work with figure it out themselves.”

  His mouth pursed in thought. “That’s just the way I do things. It brings a better long-term result.” He sucked in a deep breath. “I knew I wanted to have children with you, Eilis, and obviously I got what I wanted. You were the first woman I’ve never worn a condom with, the first person I’ve ever wholly explained my faith to, such as it is, the first woman I’ve ever made love to as Sebastian Taight, who hid behind Ford because I— I never knew how to talk to women and Ford didn’t have to talk at all. All the women, every last one—that was Ford, who never said the wrong things, who never mumbled and fum
bled and tried too hard in an effort to find the one woman who’d talk to me. You loved me, Sebastian. You chose me over Ford and I have never made love to anyone but you. I promise you everything, Eilis. My love, my fidelity, my children.”

  Eilis’s heart thundered and her breathing came hard. Joy, so vibrant and warm, raced through her until she thought she might not be able to catch her breath at all.

  “Hi,” he finally whispered. “My name’s Sebastian Taight and I fix things for a living. Who are you and what do you do?”

  Eilis’s chest collapsed with the wonder of this man’s love for her, his heartfelt confession.

  “I’m Eilis Hilliard Logan,” she murmured. “And I’m Sebastian Taight’s wife.”

  * * * * *

  99: PRICELESS!

  NOVEMBER 2007

  Justice was late. Again. Knox’s yelling at her for being late was an obligatory ritual for everybody. Nobody paid attention, not even Knox, who was apparently resigned to the situation, but couldn’t give up his habit.

  This day, Eric met her at the courthouse door. “You need to take a long drive. Right now. And don’t come back until Knox calls you.”

  She took a step away from him, alarmed at his tone. “Why?”

  “Fen’s here.”

  Her breath stuck in her chest and Eric took her arm to lead her away from the courthouse and they walked in the frigid November morning air.

  “What does he want?”

  “You.”

  Justice’s mind fuzzed up a bit. “Me? Does that mean he found out I’m married to Knox?”

  Eric shook his head. “He thinks if he can get your endorsement, that’ll make up for the money he doesn’t have and can’t get. He figured out where you were, so he’s trying to get Knox to turn you over to him for his campaign as his publicist. As far as I can tell, the only thing he knows is you’ve endorsed Kevin and he wants you to change sides and help run his campaign.”

  “That makes no sense whatsoever on about seventeen different levels.”

  “I don’t understand his rationale, either. Knox is stalling for time so I can send you away, and it’s a damn good thing you picked today to be late. Fen must not see you and your red hair.”

  “What’s that got to do with anything?”

  His gaze bored into hers and he very deliberately said, “Knox likes redheads. A lot. He has never dated anyone not a redhead. He’s famous for his taste in redheads.”

  She swallowed. “I didn’t know that,” she whispered.

  “On the other hand, Knox also has a reputation for his taste in older women.”

  Her nostrils flared. “Richard told me that a while back.”

  “Oh, don’t get pissed off. He married you. Be grateful you’re atypical for him. It’s possible Fen will assume—the way the rest of the county has—Knox hired you because of the political and PR coup of having you in this office. Add to that the fact you’re so much younger than he is and no one’s blinked an eye. But he still doesn’t want to take the chance.”

  Her mouth tightened then and she wrapped her gloved hands around his arms. Her voice hard, she said, “Eric, I’ve spent the last six months standing Knox down. I’m not going to wilt now.”

  Eric’s mouth dropped open. “Don’t you dare. Knox wasn’t ever going to kill you, which you have always known. Fen will—and you came back knowing that. He’s murdered two people and he’s taken out two hits on Mrs. Kenard.”

  “And yeah, I get it. I’m not her.” She glared at him, not bothering to keep the bitterness out of her voice.

  Eric paused. “Justice, have you been comparing yourself to her all this time?” She looked away, saying nothing and he sighed. “Don’t. If he’d wanted her, he’d have married her years ago.”

  “That’s not why,” she grumbled.

  “Whatever. Just stop it. She doesn’t have a national audience who adores her.”

  “I have a trial,” she murmured finally. “I need my things.”

  “I’ll get them for you.” He turned to walk back to the courthouse.

  “No,” she said sharply and he stopped. She marched back toward the courthouse. “I’ll do it myself. I have a gun. This is why.”

  He started. “Uh, no, you will not. He’ll kick my ass.”

  “Knox has been kicking your ass since you were seventeen years old and you regularly thumb your nose at him,” she said as they jogged up the stairs together.

  “Yeah, I’ve never thumbed my nose at him when it involves his wife and her safety.”

  “As long as you keep doing his job so he can stay in the courtroom, nothing’s going to happen to you.”

  Eric chuckled, though reluctantly.

  Knox stood in the middle of the open area talking heatedly with the man she knew to be Fen Hilliard. She would have recognized him in any case because Knox looked so much like him; she vaguely wondered if Fen was really his father as well as Eilis’s, but her heart thumped so loudly in her ears she couldn’t concentrate on that or anything they said.

  She calmly strode across the office as if Knox yelling at someone in the middle of it was an everyday thing—which, actually, it was. She went to her desk, dumped her messenger bag and purse, hung up her coat on the coat rack, and sat down at her desk to prepare for that day’s testimony.

  “ . . . tell you what. She’s right there—” Knox pointed at her and she looked up; he was furious and he was furious with her for defying him. “Ask her your owndamnself.”

  “Um, no asking me anything right now,” Justice said and buried her nose in paperwork, completely dismissive of Fen Hilliard. “I’m late and I’m due in court.”

  “Young lady, do you know who I am?” asked Fen in a tone of voice that said if she didn’t pay him proper and immediate obeisance, she was going to be sorry.

  “Yes, I do, Hilliard,” she said without looking up. “You’re a dilettante politician.”

  Justice could hear the jaws dropping on the floor. Knox and Eric barked surprised, disbelieving laughs. Richard and Patrick chuckled and leaned back in their chairs to watch the show, tongues in cheeks. She tried to squelch her answering laugh, because she did so like to make them all laugh, most especially Knox, whose rich guffaws warmed her heart and soul.

  She stood then and threw files in a banker’s box, then picked it up and headed for the door, brushing past Fen without so much as a blink. At the threshold, she turned and looked him straight in the eye, and eyebrow cocked. “Do you know who I am?”

  There was no change in Fen’s expression, but she saw the flush that stained his face and felt animosity radiate from him. In response, she felt power emanate from her body, her eyes, her face, and she could tell when he began to feel it, too. He rocked back on his heel just the slightest bit. Oh, oh, yes, she could get used to that.

  “You’re Justice McKinley. I’m here to see you.”

  She raised one eyebrow. “You do understand I’m a conservative, right?”

  “Yes.”

  “And you do understand I’ve already endorsed Kevin Oakley, right?”

  “Yes. I was hoping I could change your mind.”

  Justice shifted her box and rested it on one hip, put her hand on her other hip, and said, “You know, an endorsement’s kinda like virginity. It’s a one-dude-only deal and I gave mine to Kevin. You’re okay taking sloppy seconds off him now?”

  Everybody in the office, attorney and random deputy alike, howled with laughter. Knox laughed so hard, he was wiping tears out of his eyes. Justice somehow managed to keep a straight face, though Fen was clearly livid.

  “You’re not only wasting your time and mine, but you’re stupid. I endorse who I want to and I certainly won’t endorse a profligate spender of other people’s money. Please bear in mind I have more influence than you do.” She paused and pretended to think for a second, just for effect. “Oh, wait. You know that already, which is why you’re here to grovel and beg for my endorsement. So since you’re going to make me spell it out for you, no. Yo
u can’t have it. See ya.”

  Then she walked out the door with her box and clicked down the stairs with the raucous laughter of an office full of men following her all the way down.

  She smiled.

  The rest of the morning went well. The extra adrenaline boost was quite nice, very brightening to her day. Her power, the power that had come from nowhere, surged through her, recycled, surged again. The case she was trying kept that adrenaline level ramped and she was on her game.

  After lunch, Fen came into the courtroom to watch her. Knox came in and leaned back against the back wall, his arms across his chest. There was absolutely nothing out of the ordinary about her boss observing her in the performance of her job, though she didn’t kid herself that Fen didn’t know exactly what he was doing.

  To anyone watching, it was very plain who had trained Justice to try a case; Knox was stamped all over her. While Justice didn’t feel the need to dumb down her language or exaggerate the country twang she had, same as everybody else in the county did, she figured that there were worse things than having been trained to look and act just like Knox Hilliard in a courtroom. It gave her as much cachet in the legal world as her own work gave her in conservative politics.

  In fact . . .

  She started and her eyes widened. She stumbled over a few words and forgot what she was saying for an instant before she smiled to herself and went on.

  Fen’s presence should’ve frightened her, but it didn’t. She had a cool calm that came through in her voice and her gestures, minor fumble notwithstanding

  After the epiphany she’d had that settled so much of what had been troubling her, she actually forgot about Fen and immersed herself in the thrill she always got trying a case.

  At 4:15, the judge adjourned for the day and Justice stood to clean up her table. Knox stood in her periphery, talking with Richard and Eric. Patrick was on the other side of the courtroom talking to a deputy. All guns were clearly visible and easily reached.

  She nearly choked up. They were all here for her, to protect her.