by Honor James
“Same here,” she whispered and lay her hand over his. “I love you,” she whispered. “So very much,” she murmured. “Our baby is going to love you for always as well,” she added with a smile. “For now you and I need to get ourselves a moment alone so that we can maybe, just maybe say good-bye without everyone and their brother listening in.”
“You mean my nosey one, but he’s already gone, baby.” He grinned at her and chuckled at her nod. “Come on, love,” he murmured, taking her hand in his. Leading her to one of the empty offices nearby he pulled her in and shut the door. Taking her into his arms, he kissed her. “I want you to rest, relax as much as possible, all right,” he murmured, his forehead resting to hers. “No exercising, nothing strenuous, just watching movies, reading books, and being a lazy female please. This first week you cannot overdo it, Jackie, at all. Anything heavier than the jug of milk, you leave it alone or ask someone else to move it, period.”
“I will be good, I promise.” Especially now that she had a child to look out for. “We will do whatever is necessary to keep me healthy. I think that I’m going to go and take a nice, long, hot bubble bath. I’m going to then pull out a book and head to your office where I can veg out on the couch, darling. Sound good?”
“Very good,” he smiled at her. “I should be back in a few hours if all goes well, and I will come and get you so we can head home. I love you, Jackie,” he whispered and kissed her again. Groaning, he lifted his head. “But I seriously need to go to work now. Be good, my love, and I will see you and our little hatchling in a few hours.”
“I love you, too.” She paused and frowned. “Hatchling? I’m totally not going to give birth to an egg, am I?” She hadn’t thought to ask that one. What the freaking hell? “I thought we would have a baby, Allister, not an egg?”
Laughing, he shook his head. “No, baby, but we refer to a baby of the Dragon ilk as a hatchling. It’s just a term like a bear is a cub, a cat is a kitten, and so forth. It’s just a term. There is no gigantic egg you’ll be expected to lay, though that would be amusing to explain to a doctor. You’ll be giving birth to a baby, just a baby, but a baby that when he or she hits puberty will be able to spew fire.”
Stroking her cheek, he grinned at her. “I should warn you though that you’ll go through a short implantation period, about two weeks after the egg settles into place in your womb. Then the baby will start to actually grow. Don’t ask. Even we aren’t sure why it happens, but it does. You’ll have a regular pregnancy, but it will be a hair longer because of the implantation time. Though we will likely have to induce you if the child is male, just because they are naturally larger than females and you can’t naturally birth a twelve pound baby with your cute and adorably narrow hips, love.”
“And twins. Good lord, if we are having twins then we are totally inducing labor at the earliest possible point, and it still better not hurt our baby. I insist,” she demanded. Leaning into his touch, she sighed. “I love you, Al, but if you are going on your mission you should likely leave now.” She looked up at him and asked, “Where are you going honey? What is the risk level?”
“Reconnaissance,” he told her softly, stroking his fingers lightly over her arm. “Minimal risk. We’re going in to take a look, get some information, and then get out. We’re not to engage at any point unless it’s absolutely necessary, and even then it has to be low key.” Dropping a kiss to her lips, he smiled. “Couple of hours, hundreds of photos, bunch of measurements, hopefully a crap load of intel, and we’ll be back. So, come walk me out, my love, and then you go and laze in my office.”
“I think that sounds like a great idea,” she told him with a smile. “I will be all nice and lazy. I won’t do anything all weird or anything like that, darling, I promise. I just really look forward to you coming back,” she said simply. “Oh and bring me back some Chinese please.”
“Chinese?” he asked staring down at her. “That may be a little difficult, love. We’re going in a chopper. Can’t exactly find a spot to park one of them.” Seeing the look, he swallowed. “Right, Chinese it is.” Holy hell, it was going to be a long pregnancy. “Anything in particular, my love?” he asked, guiding her back toward where the others were waiting.
“Hot and spicy chicken with pork fried rice, and lots of onions,” Jackie told him and rubbed at her belly with a smile. “I love you and will see you when you get back,” she told him happily and, giving him one last hug, moved off so that he could depart and so that she could go and get her relaxing on.
“Love you, too, darling,” he said and watched her walk off. Grinning, he shook his head. What a woman. Moving to join the others, he took his gear and got onto the helicopter. Leaning in to his brother, he told him of his mate’s “request” and grinned at the look he got. Shrugging, he held up his hands in a “what can you do” movement.
Chapter Twelve
She was in the bathtub when she felt the first of the cramping. Frowning, she shifted and turned the heat and jets on. Leaning back in the tub, she closed her eyes and ignored it. A smile played around the corners of her lips and she sighed happily. She was happy, very much so. But a part of her honestly wished that Allister hadn’t told her that she was pregnant. She wished he hadn’t told her because it was going to be one hell of a long pregnancy. Forty-two weeks because of the two-week implantation period was a hell of a long time to wait to meet your baby.
When she got out of the tub, she was once more struck with another pain. “No,” she whispered in horror as she realized just what the hell those little pangs were. After drying off, she used the bathroom and realized that her fears were realized.
After ensuring that she had everything in place so that she didn’t create a mess, she went to their bed instead of Allister’s office. Holding her sadness deeply inside of her, she curled up on their bed and waited for her bond-mate to return, the heating pad on to help with her cramps and his pillow in her arms so she could inhale his scent.
Snapping another photo, Allister froze in place.
“Bro?” Aiden said from beside him, shifting to shoot him a look. “Allister, what’s wrong?” he murmured softly.
“Jackie,” he whispered softly, not so much talking to his brother as just saying her name. “She’s in pain,” he murmured. Rubbing a hand to his chest, he felt the deep-rooted ache growing slowly. “We need to get back, now,” he said as he flinched.
“We’re done here,” Aiden said, taking his brother’s arm, guiding him away from the scene and back toward their pick-up zone. Keying the comms, he let the others know they were falling back and why.
Half an hour later Allister was back on base and then racing toward his house. Driving fast, he knew the closer he got the worse the pain got. He could feel it resonating in his entire being by the time he pulled up out front. Racing inside, he slammed and locked the door before taking the stairs three at a time. “Jackie?”
“In our bed,” she called out to him as soon as she heard him. She waited until he was in the room to let slip the pain she was in and let the tears fall. “I’m bleeding,” she whispered softly. “And I have cramps like a mother.” It was, after all, the day that her period should begin, so if he hadn’t told her about the egg dropping she never would have known. Ever.
Climbing behind her carefully, he slid his arms around her and inhaled. Cursing softly, he wrapped her up close. The egg was gone. “I have you, love,” he whispered, stroking her arm. Nuzzling at her neck, he just held her. There was nothing else to do.
“I know,” she whispered and sniffed. His heat was so much better than a heating pad. “It just means we have to try again next month,” she whispered with tears dropping. “Just this time”—she looked back—“don’t tell me? Please?” she whispered. “Can we wait next time till we are all late with my period, okay?”
Nodding, he squeezed her very gently, careful not to hurt her more than she was. Burying his face in her throat, he breathed her in and let his own pain slip out in the form of
tears. He’d wanted the child so much, more than even he could explain.
Jackie let herself sob as well, tears falling freely as she did so. “I really wanted our baby so very, very much,” she whispered softly. “God, I wanted our baby so much.” She sobbed. “But next time, don’t tell me about it until you are sure that the egg is out of the implantation period and the pregnancy has begun, my love, please?”
“Promise,” he whispered to her. Shifting, he turned her into his arms so he could hold her properly, but he did let her keep the heating pad to her belly. Sliding his pillow up along her back, he wrapped her in close and gently rocked with her. “I’m so sorry, love,” he whispered quietly. He was seriously wishing he’d never said anything to her.
“It’s perfectly fine, my love,” she whispered. “Pass the word along that if we do get pregnant no one is allowed to tell me about the implantation period, all right?” she asked quietly. “I really and truly think you should pass that along,” she added.
“I will,” he whispered, quietly cupping her head as he held her close. He knew it wasn’t fine. He knew she was hurting and he fully understood it. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here for you, Jackie.” He’d gotten back as soon as he could, but it just wasn’t soon enough.
“You got here as quickly as you possibly could,” she told him softly. “It’s all right, my love. Just love me, Allister. That’s all that I need. I just need for you to love me, darling. Never stop loving me. It’s all that I ever need.”
“You’re my heart and soul, Jackie. I will always love you no matter what,” he murmured quietly. Pulling the blankets loose, he tossed them over them both. They wouldn’t be moving until morning and he didn’t care. Resting his cheek to hers, he rubbed back and forth lightly. “I love you so much, Jackie,” he whispered.
“That’s very good, darling, because I love you, too,” she whispered and yawned. “For now let’s sleep, all right, darling? I really think that sleep is the best idea for the two of us.” She was exhausted. Her pain pills she had just taken an hour earlier were finally starting to kick in and made her more than a little relaxed. “Good night,” she whispered.
“Goodnight, my love,” he murmured quietly to her. Stroking her hair lightly, he felt her pass out, but he just couldn’t. His mind was spinning with all the what-ifs. What if he hadn’t told her? What if it just wasn’t meant to be? What if it kept happening? The last one hurt the most. Maybe he wasn’t supposed to be a father…But who would ever say that Jackie shouldn’t be a mother?
Chapter Thirteen
“Really, Allister, I’m feeling a little better, darling. In fact I’m ready to get up and get moving because I swear I feel as if I’m growing mold sitting here, darling. It’s past time for me to get up and get moving, my love. I need to get back to the gym, darling. It’s time for me to actually start to work out again so that my body can please start to feel a little less rigid.”
Staring at her, he finally, after an hour of her begging, pleading, and outright threatening him, caved in. “But you are to take it slow,” he said quietly. “Any odd or unusual aches you stop. Nothing too strenuous, and I want you working out with someone there just in case, please.”
“I will take it very slow,” she said happily. “And don’t worry, I will make sure that there is someone with me at all times.” She knew that he didn’t need any additional worries, not with the massive one that he was already feeling. No, for now she simply would take it smooth and easy and not worry about a thing.
“All right,” he murmured quietly. Cupping her face gently, he kissed her lightly. “I love you, Jackie,” he whispered, brushing his fingers gently over her skin. “I need you to be well and happy.” He just wished he could keep her wrapped up in cotton and tucked in close where he could protect her.
“That’s good. That means that you and I are going to have the most amazing lives together because we will always do whatever it takes to make the other happy, which is as it should be.”
“I was trying to and then I got my nuts handed to me,” he grumbled before smiling angelically at her. “Love you with all my heart, darling.” He smiled down at her. “Go, workout, be safe, and you call me with anything, you hear? The instant you’re done, you call, too, because I want to pick you up and coddle you some more, damn it.”
“And I will totally let you coddle me, I promise. You know, you could come with me. That way you know that I’m taking frequent breaks and all that, love.” She knew he was worried for her and it made her love him all the more. She was blessed to have him in her life, very much so.
“I don’t want you thinking I’m smothering you,” he muttered, shaking his head. “I have reports to do anyway. Go ahead and work out, love,” he advised. Not that he figured his reports would make any sense given he was already distracted just by the thought of her out of his sight. “Besides, I’m sure you need some time and space after all my hovering of late.”
“Honey, I happen to really love having you smothering me,” she admitted with a wink. “I love you, darling. I just need you to know that.” Which was the truth. He was her everything. “But for now I’m going to go and work my body out because I’m seriously in need of it.” She winked. “And then tonight you get to work me out, my love,” she murmured with happiness in her. “And I’m demanding that you do that, mister man.”
Eyeing her warily, he tipped his head. “I think I may require a definition of that, darling,” he told her honestly. Right after the loss of the baby they’d been too wrapped up in each other, too hurt to do anything. Since then he’d pretty much avoided touching her sexually if he could. He was terrified that they’d end up doing it all again and he could not, would not have her hurting like that again. Not that he’d told her that, or let her pluck it out of his head. Hell no, he was keeping that tucked down deep where she’d never find it.
“It means that I need and I want you to fuck me. I want you and I need you to fuck me so hard that neither of us will know our name the next freaking hour. Do you know just how much I’ve missed having you deep inside of me?” she asked him quietly. “I need it. I need you inside of me.”
Staring at her, Allister nodded slowly. “All right,” he murmured quietly. He wanted her now, not later, but knew if he got started he’d never get half of what he’d been putting off for the last couple weeks done that had to be done. “We can do that.” Now? his mind whispered softly. Evil little shit was out to get him into trouble.
“Oh hell yes, we can do that now,” she told him with a grin. “Honey, it wasn’t like a normal miscarriage,” she told him softly. “It was more of a period than anything else, my love. I really and truly hate that, but it’s true. I know how cold that sounds, but I have to look at it like that.”
“I know, love,” he whispered, moving closer to her. Sliding his arms around her waist, he drew her in closer to him. “I just hate that it happened,” he murmured. He’d been so excited. So had she, and then to have that occur, it was a sharp pointy stick to the heart with a double grinding twist just to ensure it really hurt. “I swore to protect you, keep you happy, and do everything I could to ensure you never felt pain or sorrow.” He’d failed on all counts first time out of the blocks.
“How about when we get pregnant again we will make sure that I take extra special care? I will get the prenatal care started, darling, and that way they will start to working on my body, too, okay, honey? We will do whatever we can in order to ensure that our child has a chance at survival. We will do all that we can to ensure that we bring a little Dragon into the world to spoil like crazy.”
Frowning slightly, he looked at her. “You want to try again?” he asked softly, unsure if he should say no or…not. Chewing his lip, Allister leaned his forehead to hers. “I’m scared, love. I don’t think I can survive seeing you hurt if anything should happen again. I think it’s a sign from the universe that I’m just not meant to have children.” A sign he was too crappy to be a dad.
“Don’t you dar
e say something like that,” she muttered. “And yes I want to try again. I want children with you, darling. I don’t care how long it takes us to get this right. All that matters is that we will be together in it all the time. I love you, darling. I love you and I need you. We will have a child together, and do you know why I’m so sure?” she asked and watched him watching her. “Because you are going to be an amazing dad. That’s why I’m positive that we will have babies.”
He still wasn’t feeling all that “amazing” as she put it, but he nodded slowly. “All right, love,” he murmured quietly. Allister really didn’t know if he believed her opinion on the matter. Oh, he knew she’d never lie, but she was slightly biased. The woman loved and adored him, definitely a smidge biased. Dipping his head, he kissed her slowly. “I love you so much, Jacqueline,” he breathed against her mouth.
“That’s a very good thing, darling, because I happen to love and adore you as well,” she stated happily. “We are forever, always and forever one. Together you and I are going to have a very good life,” she told him happily.
“Of that I have no doubt, my love,” he said gently. Hugging her close, he sent out a prayer to Gaia to watch over and protect his mate. That and to allow her the chance to be the amazing and perfectly charming mother he knew she could be. “You will be there. It wouldn’t dare be anything but perfect in your glorious presence, my darling bond-mate.”
Jackie winked at him and grinned. “So how about this deal. I will be on my vitamins but off my birth control. We will practice for a new baby as often as we absolutely can and won’t stress over anything else. We will simply be together, darling. That’s all that matters.”
“I think that might be best,” he agreed with her softly and smiled. “I just want you happy, baby, I hope you understand that. No matter what, I just want you happy and pleased with the mate you have in your life.” Gods help him if she ever got displeased. She actually was trained well enough to do some damage.