Sparkle

by Rudy Yuly

  She sounded angry and confused.

  Eddie wasn’t sure if he could keep it together, but he wanted to reassure her. The red handprint was something he’d never experienced before. It burned painfully. Worse, its energy was trying to invade every part of his mind that still held ordered sparkling thoughts and overwhelm them with black waspish noise. The Shiny Gold was helping, but he’d rarely seen a splotch so stubborn.

  “Eddie,” Jolie said. “What can I do? Should I call Joe? Please, Eddie. I’m so sorry.”

  With another giant effort, Eddie turned his attention to Jolie.

  She needed reassuring. He forced himself to stop scrubbing. His eyes were fixed on the ground in front of him. His expression hadn’t changed, and his shaking had almost stilled, but he couldn’t help it; he started scrubbing his arm again.

  “He didn’t know, Eddie.”

  Eddie stopped scrubbing. “You never know.”

  “It’s still no excuse for the way he acted.”

  Eddie started scrubbing again.

  “Eddie, you shouldn’t be breathing that stuff.”

  “Shiny Gold,” Eddie explained, still scrubbing.

  “You’re getting it on your shirt, Eddie. And it can’t be good for your skin. Okay? Eddie?”

  Her voice touched Eddie. It always had.

  He swallowed hard and again forced himself to stop scrubbing.

  “Will you sit down with me, Eddie? Please.”

  Eddie put the Shiny Gold back in his bag and walked to the nearest bench, a few feet away. He turned and waited until Jolie sat down. She looked over at his arm, which was red and smelled like ammonia.

  Eddie made a wish.

  This was one of his last-resort secret weapons: when he sat down on the bench, that all the bad stuff would fly out of his head. He sat down, straight-backed, with his bag in his lap.

  And then it came to him. A way out. He took some deep breaths.

  “Happy birthday, Jolie,” he said.

  The effort to get the words out was huge. It didn’t show, though, and Eddie instantly felt lighter.

  His wish had come true. For an instant, Eddie had seen the words in his head. They were like a friendly neon sign in the dark fog. Everything else had—for the moment—receded into the far background.

  Jolie was hugely relieved. She sighed. Eddie was such a sweet soul.

  “Thank you, Eddie,” she said gently. “Thank you. And thanks so much for the Sparkle. Please don’t worry, Eddie. I know everything’s going to turn out all right.”

  “You never know.” Eddie hoped she was right. It had been a crazy day. He raised his eyes, and something else amazing happened. He noticed her name tag: Jolie Walker.

  It was too much. Eddie quickly looked away, found his sunglasses, and put them on. In all this time, he realized, he had never taken notice of Jolie’s last name. How was that possible? He couldn’t believe he’d missed something so obvious. Names were important. No wonder they hadn’t touched. In a way, they hadn’t even been properly introduced.

  Maybe the day wasn’t a total disaster after all. Things, even the most challenging things, sometimes had meaning and purpose if you were willing to take the time and effort to figure them out.

  “We’re almost done, Eddie. Feel like you can keep going?” Jolie said.

  Eddie glanced up, and their eyes met for a moment.

  “Jolie Walker,” he said. The words felt new in his mouth. Pleasant.

  Jolie smiled. “Eddie Jones.”

  It was too much again, and Eddie looked away. He thought carefully before speaking. “I’d like to keep going,” he said.

  Once again, Eddie was saying something she hadn’t heard before, and Jolie looked at him appraisingly for a moment before answering. “Okay, Eddie. I’m with you.”

  Eddie set out for the next exhibit.

  Jolie knew the routine. She put her hands in her pockets and walked quietly beside him.

  Chapter 18

  LaVonne was back, standing in front of Joe and cleaning the already clean bar. It was his move. Not surprisingly, he wasn’t making it. In fact, he was doing everything humanly possible to avoid making eye contact, which was quite a job, considering LaVonne was standing only two feet away.

  Joe was shocked and ashamed. How could LaVonne play with him like this? What had he done to deserve it? He’d never once acted out of line with her. Never flirted. Never said a disrespectful word. Not once.

  “This bar sure needs a good cleaning.” LaVonne was fighting to keep her smile in check. She sensed that she’d had a powerful effect, and it made her bolder. “Yep, no time like the present, I guess. A clean bar’s a happy bar. Oops, look at that. I missed a spot. Darn. I’m telling you, the work’s never done around here—”

  “Don’t d-d-do this to me,” Joe pleaded, rubbing the long straight scar on his face. He could clearly hear his cracked voice, as though he was listening to someone sitting on the next stool. No doubt about it, he was a total, brainless, gutless, hopeless, lame-ass loser.

  LaVonne held her ground. She felt good. She stopped wiping the bar and smiled at him. “How long have I known you, Joe? Two years. Two years you’ve been coming in here at least once a week. Did you know it had been that long? I know more about you than you think. And I think it might be time we got to know each other better. That’s just my opinion. Take it or leave it. But don’t disrespect me by trying to pretend I didn’t say anything to you.”

  LaVonne was sure that if she could bust through, she’d find something warm and soft inside Joe. Something to like, maybe even to love. Obviously he was depressed—but her attention would cheer him up. She was a passionate woman, and she’d been holding her passion in check for a long time.

  Joe didn’t know what to think. Was she teasing him, trying to get back at him for something he had said or done? Maybe she was sick of him coming in every week, hogging the entire end of the bar. He didn’t know what to say. Had she actually invited him to ask her on a date?

  “What am I supposed to do?” he finally stammered. “Bring Eddie? I don’t need charity.”

  “That’s good,” LaVonne said, “’cause I don’t give it.” She was still smiling, but her smile was starting to look strained.

  Joe fumbled in his wallet. He pulled out some cash and counted it by force of habit. He always ordered the same and paid the same. He tipped twenty-five percent. He awkwardly scooped up his papers and tape recorder with his free left hand and pressed them precariously to his chest. He held out the money with his right.

  LaVonne sighed and took the money. Is his hand shaking?

  They both felt something startling when their fingers touched. Their eyes locked.

  The Mariners hit another homer. Almost everybody in the place cheered. Joe looked at LaVonne as though she’d stabbed him in the heart. Her gaze, completely serious, never wavered.

  “They’re still going to lose,” Joe blurted, casting a final disgusted look up at the screen. Then he turned and forced himself to walk, not run, out of the bar.

  He stumbled into his van and slammed the door, began roughly rubbing his head with both hands. Great. Just fucking great. I’ll have to find a new bar. How stupid can I be!

  Having his fantasy so abruptly, casually dragged into the light was mortifying. He hadn’t spoken about his feelings for LaVonne with anyone, not even Eddie. Wasn’t he even allowed one damn dream to take the edge off his shitty life?

  Joe cranked and revved the van. A white splat from a huge seagull passing overhead hit the window. It looked like an exclamation point. Of course. The universe was in on it, too.

  “Fuck you,” Joe muttered. He hit the wipers and smeared the white goo. The windshield streaked opaque. He threw it into reverse anyway.

  BAM! He hit the brakes and craned his neck. Oh, shit! He’d clipped a new-looking Mitsubishi coupe. He busted loose a muttered stream of profanity and slid out to check the damage.

  The Mitsubishi had a nasty crumpled dent on its right-fro
nt quarter panel.

  Joe lit a cigarette. Trying to look nonchalant, he took a few ridiculously quick drags, then fished out a business card and jammed it under the Mitsubishi’s wiper blade. Cursing, he threw himself back into the van, rolled up the windows, and peeled out. No one could hear him banging on the steering wheel as he went.

  Chapter 19

  Eddie and Jolie toured the rest of the zoo quietly. Jolie could feel that it wasn’t the normal, comfortable silence they usually shared. Eddie felt far removed, drifting like a balloon from exhibit to exhibit, letting himself space out so the ominous buzzing in his head could not take on a definite shape. As long as Jolie was near to make sure he didn’t float away, he would be okay. She didn’t speak and Eddie was grateful for that. Not many people could resist talking for that long.

  He saw the front gate looming ahead and realized he hadn’t been paying attention. It was time to say good-bye. Jolie would speak now.

  “I guess it’s just about time to say good-bye for today, Eddie,” she said. “Please accept my apology for Mark. He shouldn’t have touched you. And don’t worry about what he said. I’m sure it’s a mistake. I’ll do my best to have this all straightened out by next week. This time is important to me.”

  “Uh-huh. Okay.” Eddie didn’t remember, specifically, what Mark had said. He knew it had been vaguely threatening, but his wish on the bench had drowned out the memory of the exact words. The painful feeling in his arm, though, was starting to come back. He glanced down. It really was bright red.

  They walked through the gate. Jolie spotted the van across the lot. She waved at Joe.

  “I don’t want you to worry, Eddie. But if for some reason I can’t… I want you to promise me you’re going to come to the zoo anyway, even if I can’t always be your guide.”

  Once again, Eddie looked right into Jolie’s eyes for a couple of seconds, but it was too much. He lowered his gaze and put on his sunglasses.

  “Happy birthday, Jolie Walker,” he said, then turned and walked to the van.

  Jolie watched Eddie’s broad back as he walked away. He had a calm, stiffly graceful way of moving. She waved at Joe and chewed her lips.

  Fucking Mark. She was going to give him a piece of her mind. What he had done was unprofessional. She was willing to believe that Mark didn’t realize how close he had come to provoking Eddie into a meltdown. She could chalk it up to ignorance. But whatever it was he had experienced in his past, it was no excuse to take it out on Eddie, who he didn’t even know.

  Joe got out of the van and waved to Jolie, distracted. He checked his bumper again; it didn’t look bad at all. That was something. The little car he’d hit sure was messed up, though. It was going to cost him. His driving record was not too good. Their insurance would surely get jacked up again.

  What a fucking day, he thought, working hard to compose himself. Time to do his duty, forget his own crap, and get back to the everyday business of taking care of Eddie. Yeah. If Joe showed any sign of being pissed off, Eddie would know it. He might get agitated, and then Joe would get agitated trying to explain. Which could lead to who knew what. So Joe did his best to choke down his own feelings before his brother reached the van.

  “You have a good day with Jolie?” Joe asked flatly, opening Eddie’s door.

  Eddie looked down at his arm as he climbed in. It still hurt, and there was the definite outline of a hand there. Mark’s hand. He was extra careful as he fastened his shoulder belt. Don’t upset Joe. It was time for him to stop thinking about himself and remember his responsibilities to his brother.

  “Shiny Gold, Joe. Okay?”

  That meant Eddie wanted to go right home instead of going to a restaurant. He wanted to sit in front of his big screen and watch the Shiny Gold commercial, over and over, until bedtime.

  “Okay.” Joe sounded tired. “Home and watch Shiny Gold. Another rockin’ Saturday night.” He shut Eddie’s door and headed around the front of the van.

  “Actually,” he said to no one, “that sounds just fine.”

  Jolie was on a tight schedule. She had to participate in afternoon feedings right after Eddie left. Her mind wasn’t on the work. As soon as she could, she made an excuse and headed back to the office.

  When she got there, Mark was smiling and joking with her friend Tracy, drinking a bottle of Sparkle. Jolie looked at him briefly, a blank expression on her face, and then turned and opened the community fridge. Her Sparkle from Eddie was gone.

  She held her breath. Now she was pissed. She turned and walked over to Mark.

  “Excuse me,” she said, trying to keep her voice calm.

  Mark and Tracy looked up.

  “Is that my soda?”

  Mark looked down at the bottle in his hand. “Oh. I don’t know. I was thirsty.” He forced a little laugh and looked at Tracy, who wasn’t sure what was happening. “Sorry. Can I give you a buck?”

  Jolie took a few purposeful breaths. Was she PMSing? She wanted to scream. She held out her hand.

  “Give it to me.”

  “What?”

  “The Sparkle. Hand it over.”

  Mark slowly extended the half-full bottle. Jolie took it from him.

  “Stop fucking with me, Mark,” she said. She held the bottle at arm’s length and dropped it into the trash with a loud clatter. Fuck the recycling. She turned around, and left the office without making eye contact with anyone. Once she was outside, she jogged the two hundred yards or so back to the feeding enclosure, hurrying so no one would stop her.

  “That was quick,” her co-worker said when she returned.

  “Yeah.” Jolie was out of breath. She wiped an arm roughly across her cheek. “We’ve got a lot to do.”

  Over the course of the day, she calmed down a bit. When she replayed the facts over in her head, her incredible anger at Mark just didn’t add up to much. He was worried for her safety? Well, he was wrong about Eddie, but that was his job. He touched Eddie? There was clumsiness there, but not malice. And he took a stray pop from the community fridge? Etiquette lapse, but everybody knew unlabeled drinks were pretty much fair game in the zoo office fridge.

  About the only charge that held water on reflection was the fact that he’d insisted on talking about the situation in front of Eddie—almost like he wasn’t there. That, at least, was total, unacceptable bullshit.

  Finally, at six-thirty, she came in to gather her things to go home. No one was around but Mark. He sat behind his desk in his small office off the main space. Jolie walked up to the desk, planted both of her hands on it, and leaned forward. Mark looked up and smiled sheepishly.

  “Okay. I have calmed down. But I need to know, Mark, what in the heck was going on today?”

  “I know you’re not going to like this, Jolie, but I have to stand by my assessment. I don’t think it’s safe for you to be alone with Eddie.” Now Mark’s tone was dry and detached.

  All of Jolie’s calm went up in a puff. She was suddenly so angry she could hardly speak. “Who called you from the State, Mark?” I want to know. What was their name?”

  “Hey, you know what? I’m not going to put up with this.” He stood up from his desk and took his coat from the back of his chair. “Regardless of the spin you want to put on it, I am sincerely just trying to do my job.”

  “I can take care of myself, Mark.”

  He was standing close to her now, and he lowered his voice. “I’m sure you can, Jolie. But you think I was acting unprofessional today?”

  “Yes, I do.”

  “Then look in the mirror, because you’re not even making any sense.” Mark headed for the door. “Please make sure the door is locked when you leave. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  Then he was gone.

  Chapter 19

  “I’m ready, Vonelle, and that’s all you need to know about it. It’s been too damn long. It’s not even healthy anymore.” LaVonne held the phone against her shoulder with her ear as she pulled on her favorite plum-colored, boot-cut velvet pant
s.

  “You may be ready little sister, but that man you picked—you got yourself a way, I tell you. It’s not just about waiting. I’ve seen that man. Oh yes I have. There’s something wrong with that man. Don’t tell me that ain’t true. You gonna wait how many years then make the same damn mistake you’ve been making since you were fourteen? You tire me out, girl.”

  “You worry too much.”

  “Of course I worry about you. Who’s going to get called to fix things up when they go to hell? Vonelle. That’s who.”

  “All right. But I made up my mind. Can we talk about something else? How’s Anton today? Is he feeling better?”

  “He’s fine. He’ll be back in school on Monday. Did he tell you he got an “A” in subtraction? Mrs. Tolmer told me he’s in the top three in his class in math. That boy’s as smart as you were—before you got interested in boys. It’d be nice if you’d come take him to the movies tonight instead of going out on a date with that cracker loser, though.”

  LaVonne was checking out her boots in the mirror, wondering if some pumps would look better. “Give that sweet boy my love. Tell him I promise I’ll come take him to the park tomorrow. I gotta go. Love you.”

  “All right. Call me when the shit hits the fan.”

  “I won’t.”

  LaVonne rang off and gave herself a thorough up and down in the mirror. She liked what she saw. Vonelle’s words had hooks in them, though. LaVonne had never picked a decent guy yet.

  Then again, neither had Vonelle. She was raising Anton on her own—with a lot of help from LaVonne—and she’d decided years ago that she was done with men for good. “Good riddance to those lazy-ass leeches” is how she’d put it if pressed. And LaVonne didn’t have to press Vonelle too hard for a response to just about anything. But men? Best not to even get her started.

  Even though Vonelle had a point, LaVonne wasn’t going to let it get her down. Not tonight. Maybe she had made mistakes in the past, ranging from tragic to just plain ridiculous. But she was a different person now. She’d worked hard and nearly put herself through grad school, for God’s sake. And Joe, despite his obvious flaws, was just about as different from anyone she had ever dated as it was humanly possible to be.