Choosing Rena

by Dakota Trace

  “I see you got it.”

  Her head jerked up at Louis’s voice. The storm, which had been brewing inside of her all day, exploded at his arrogant pose against her apartment door. “What the hell is the meaning of this?” She wanted to throw the damn box at him but refrained.

  “What does it look like, little subbie?” He pushed off the door. “Surely it hasn’t been so long you haven’t forgotten what your collar looks like.”

  She strove for patience. “I don’t know what you’re trying to pull, Mr. Vayarti, but I don’t appreciate it…”

  He held up a hand. “Give me five minutes. That’s all I ask. Surely you can spare five minutes for me after what we meant to each other.”

  Inwardly, she seethed. She didn’t want to give him anything, not five minutes, not even the air he was breathing. Resentment seethed inside her.

  “What do you want? I have an appointment tonight…”

  A frown crossed his handsome face. “What I want is to know why you have another man coming by your home late at night. I don’t share my subs. You know that.”

  The resentment turned to fury at his words. “Excuse me? You don’t share your subs? Let’s get something straight, Louie…I’m not your sub anymore nor do I want to be.” She shoved the box at him. “I don’t want this damn thing. It’s because of you I haven’t even been in the scene. You and your damned double standards and total disregard for anyone else’s feelings. Submissive isn’t exchangeable for doormat, and maybe when you finally figure that out, you’ll be able to hang on to a sub for longer than six months.”

  His nostrils flared. “I came here to see if we can start anew while I’m in town. Evidently I was wrong about Sabella. She couldn’t give me what I needed. I thought…”

  She stared at him in disbelief. “…I could…or would.” Shaking her head, she pushed past him to put her key in the lock. “That ship has sailed. I’ve nothing left to offer you or any Dom. I don’t want anything from you, but to be left alone. Good-bye.”

  He grasped her arm before she could enter her apartment. Glaring down at the offending hand, she gritted her teeth. “Let go before I call the police to escort you off the premises or worse.”

  “This isn’t finished.” He pushed her into the apartment, then entered behind her. “We’re going to settle this little spat and if you’re lucky I’ll go easy on your punishment…”

  Her hands flew to her hips. “Dude, what the hell are you smoking? There was no little spat. You kicked my ass to the curb when I refused to share you with another woman. We’re done and have been since you ruined my damn career!”

  He studied her, crossing his arms over his wide chest. “Perhaps, I acted a little impulsively…but I was angry at the time. A submissive never dictates where a relationship goes. It’s the Dom’s job to lead her there. The fact you tried pissed me off.”

  Her eyes narrowed. “You were angry? I was the one who walked into our home, to our playroom and found you flogging another woman.”

  “My playroom,” he corrected. “My penthouse. You lived there on my good graces.”

  She growled. “Good graces! This is exactly why it didn’t work out between us. I lived with you for nearly eight months, Louis. I moved all my things in, gave up my house to be your submissive, but not once did you consider the fact I thought of it as my home as well as yours? That as a person, another human being, it would hurt me when you brought another woman there? That it felt like a betrayal. Considering you knew it was one of my hard limits?”

  He sneered at her. “You obviously think this is one of those damn romance books you read. As the Dom, everything in the relationship was mine including you. It was what you agreed to when you accepted my collar and signed the contract. So if I wanted to give you to another or sleep with another submissive, it was within my rights. We never agreed to exclusivity on my part.”

  Her lips thinned at the blatant reminder of her own stupidity; once upon a time she had given herself to him, even signed a contract because she’d wanted the man in front of her to own her completely. “Get out. This is my home and I don’t want you here. What power you had over me evaporated the day you shredded our contract and took my collar. I’m through quibbling about whether or not the exclusivity clause applied to you.” She dropped her bag onto the coffee table. “Be gone when I come back out, or a couple of Chicago’s finest will be escorting you off the premises.” She locked eyes with him. “And I don’t ever want to set eyes on you again.”

  He seemed to measure her seriousness, before sighing. “This isn’t over, Rena. But I’ll leave since you don’t seem to be in the right frame of mind to discuss this logically.” He checked his watch. “Besides I have an appointment with the board in a little bit, but don’t for a moment think this is done. What we had is too good to just throw away…I’ll be back.” He set down the mahogany box on her table. “Just think about it.” Then he was gone, leaving her staring after him in shock.

  “The nerve of the lying rat bastard!” Picking up the box, she hurled into the trash. There wasn’t a prayer in a frozen hell she would ever go back to him.

  * * * *

  “Jude is probably with Ms. Olivia in her office.” Carlos, the bouncer/doorman, told Rena after she cleared the security checkpoint at the entrance. Picking up her wallet, keys and watch from the tote, she shoved them back into her purse, not bothering to put the watch back on.

  “Thanks, Carlos. How’s life been treating you?”

  The Hispanic man grinned from ear to ear. “Great. Mistress has been home for the past two weeks and has treated me real nice. I missed her when she was up in Minnesota working on her residency at the Mayo Clinic.”

  Rena winced. The other sub was definitely a kindred soul. She remembered more than once during her relationship with Louis, when the man was out of town on business for an extended period, how lonely she’d been. “Yuck, I remember those days, but I can understand why she doesn’t want to make the five hour drive home from Rochester.”

  Carlos smiled. “And she knows I’d paddle her ass for driving that distance after a long grueling shift.”

  “Are you sure you’re the submissive?”

  He outright laughed at her. “Of course I’m sure. But being submissive doesn’t stop me from wanting to protect my Mistress, even if it’s from herself.”

  “Hmmm, I think someone’s picked up Jude’s bad habits.” Rena mused.

  “And what bad habits would that be, Rena?” Jude stepped across the threshold, wearing nothing but a pair of dark leather shorts. He was dressed for play, not in the normal business clothing she was used to seeing him in.

  She gave him a grin. “Your obsessive need to keep Olivia safe until she’s ready to box your ears.”

  His neck flushed. “Well, we have an agreement. She puts up with my protective ass as long as there’s a true need.” He guided her into the inner sanctum of the club. The sounds of leather striking flesh and greedy moans and pleas hit her eager ears.

  “Ah it’s leather club night again, I see,” Rena commented, referring to the specific group of Doms who frequented Olivia’s to not only hone but show off their whipping skills. “So is your partner here tonight?” She knew Jackson had a membership and had a love of whips to go along with his fetish for wooden paddles.

  Jude shook his head. “No, he hasn’t been to the club in several weeks. The last time was at my collaring ceremony with Micah. Between being sick and chasing your butt all over town, he’s been too busy or too worn out to play.”

  Her ears burned. “Ah, I was just wondering if I needed to worry about him show up. Dealing with him once today was more than enough.”

  A slow grin crossed Jude’s face as he led her down the hall to Olivia’s office. “Do tell.”

  A flush crept up her neck. “Ah…there’s nothing to tell.” At least nothing she’d admit to. There wasn’t a prayer in hell she would tell Jude about her carnal encounter in a public bathroom with his partner.

&nb
sp; Jude chuckled before pausing in front of the office door. “Likely story. I’ll get it out of Jackson later.” He sank gracefully to his knees.

  Keeping back she couldn’t help but notice how gracefully he did it in spite of his bad knee. “So what did you do to piss off Olivia this time?”

  He glanced over his shoulder at her, giving her a sort of sheepish grin as if to say ‘What makes you think I pissed her off?’ before he knocked gently on the door.

  A low feminine voice called out for them to enter before she could try to pry more information out of the reluctant man.

  Chapter Twelve

  “So, I don’t think whoever your perpetrator was came in through the balcony door as the police report indicates. We need to look at another possible point of entry. I checked the front door and there was no forced entry. So either someone let the person in or…” Rena trailed off, shifting in her seat across from Olivia’s desk. Around her, from the sleek metal accented benches to the iron manacles at various heights, were the familiar heavy leather and wrought iron pieces of furniture Rena had begun to think as Olivia’s trademark.

  “Or it’s someone who has a key or access to it.” Olivia shifted on Micah’s lap. The ebony skinned man was wearing similar attire to Jude, a pair of miniscule leather shorts which left little to the imagination. Rena didn’t think they could be the most comfortable things to wear but the man didn’t seem to mind. Between Micah’s feet, Jude was sitting comfortably, leaning his head against Olivia’s outer thigh as she toyed with his hair. Despite the serene expression on his face, she knew Jude was paying close attention.

  “So, I’m going to ask my brother-in-law to check into who was working the day your place was vandalized.”

  Olivia’s fingers stopped. “Do you think he’ll give you the information, Rena?”

  Rena nodded. “While he doesn’t always agree with my choice of lifestyle, he’s supportive.” As she said the words, she wondered if she should have added the word former to her response. She wasn’t sure if she was ready to dive back in no matter what her body had already decided.

  “That’s good.” Olivia then floored her when she asked both of her subs to leave the room. Rena stood to leave as well assuming she was being dismissed. “No. Sit, Rena. I’m not done with you yet.”

  Frowning, she returned to her seat. Once the door shut behind them, Rena was tempted to ask what was going on but knew the Domme didn’t need a reason to send Jude and Micah away. It was all part and parcel of being their Mistress.

  But when Olivia continued to stare at her, Rena was beginning to wonder if she had something on her face. “What?”

  “Aren’t you going to ask why I sent them away?” Olivia came out from behind the desk to sit on the front edge of it.

  Rena laughed. “Maybe I should add the word mind reader to your list of attributes. But honestly as their Domme, you don’t have to have a reason to send them away.”

  A slow smile tugged at the corner of Olivia’s lips. “Very true. Just looking at you, one wouldn’t think you’d be so well versed in the world of BDSM, Rena. Perhaps you shouldn’t ask why I sent them away but rather why I asked you to stay?”

  Rena shrugged, not certain where Olivia was taking the conversation. “I’m sure you’ll tell me eventually.”

  “Or you’ll knock it out of me?” Olivia asked, arching a brow at Rena.

  “Don’t tempt me. I’ve been working on my lack of patience. Besides if there’s pain to be had, I’m sure you’d rather be the one inflicting it.”

  “Very true.” Olivia stood and walked back around the desk, trailing her fingers across its satiny surface.

  “But I wouldn’t put it past me to take you down, rip those boots off, and find the nearest feather.” Rena couldn’t but help but poke at the other woman. She wasn’t supposed to know about Olivia’s one weakness, her extreme ticklishness, and knew the woman would quickly deduce that the only way Rena could’ve found out was if either Jude or Micah had told her.

  Olivia paused. “It looks like my boys are due for a return trip to the spanking bench.”

  Rena’s heartbeat leapt. She hadn’t felt the supple leather of a spanking bench against her stomach in far too long. The contrast of cool leather against her stomach as more leather warmed her ass was a delightful memory. Still, she couldn’t stop the image of Jackson securing her to the bench before standing behind her with a paddle or flogger in hand from clouding her mind.

  “Interesting.”

  Olivia’s voice snapped her back to the present conversation. “What’s that?”

  “Your reaction. Perhaps it’s not my boys who need the spanking bench but you. How long has it been since you’ve played with a Dom, Rena? I know you’re a submissive. That’s as clear as the nose on your face. I’ve even offered you a membership and…”

  Fear and frustration tried to edge aside the growing desire Rena was feeling. “Which I have thanked you for repeatedly, but honestly I simply cannot afford your fees, Olivia.”

  Olivia continued to pace. “I’ve also offered to waive the fees numerous times. You’re my friend, Rena.”

  Rena sighed, scrambling for a way to keep Olivia from being offended. “Friend or no friend, I don’t want your charity, Olivia. You charge Jackson, you charge Caelan and even Gabriel still pays dues. It’s not fair for you to waive mine…”

  Stopping next to Rena’s chair, Olivia leaned in, invading Rena’s personal space. “But Caelan, Jackson and Gabriel haven’t saved my life twice, and those gentlemen have the funds to pay for their private playground. I realize you don’t, but still I want you to come to my club and enjoy yourself. And it pisses me off to no end when you refuse my generosity out of misplaced pride.” Rena’s eyes widened. Olivia indeed looked disgruntled at the idea. “Regardless, this has to stop. You’re neglecting something you obviously need. Now, before you try to claim you’ve been taking care of it elsewhere, I’ve talked to several other club owners here in Chicago. You’re not playing at any of their clubs and you’re too smart to go home with an unfamiliar Dom.” She lifted Rena’s chin to stare directly into her eyes. “Don’t lie to me. How long has it been since you’ve felt the lash of leather against your skin, or found the blessed relief in the submission to another?”

  Rena felt compelled to answer when she should be telling the woman off. Friendship or not, Olivia was trying to peel back the layers to expose the needy sub under Rena’s tough exterior. “Ireland. This morning.” She wanted to bury her face in her hands, to hide everything, but Olivia’s pinning grasp kept her tethered to the chair more securely than any restraints would.

  “Explain, little sub.” The hard tone and the phrasing Olivia used was so similar to Louis’s it caused Rena to rebel.

  “Fuck you. Let me go!” Rena pulled up hard on Olivia’s grip. If it hadn’t been Olivia’s leverage over the seated woman she’d have broken free in a second, but as an experienced Domme, she knew how to control those larger than herself.

  “No! Settle down,” Olivia barked at her. Immediately Rena froze. “That’s better. Now, I’m not going to hurt you, Rena, no matter how much you want me to. You have needed someone to confide in since you’ve come to Chicago. Let me be that friend.”

  Rena slumped back against the chair. “Why?”

  “Why what?” Olivia kept her voice soft.

  “Why do you want to poke at old wounds? Why can’t you and Jackson leave me be? I need to forget what a fucking fool I was. How submission won’t give me what I need without costing me my independence.”

  “You honestly think this has anything to do with my annoying little twerp of a nephew?” Olivia shook her head. “Jackson has nothing to do with this. He doesn’t know you’re here and if he did, I’m sure he’d be in here in a hot minute trying to yank you away from my nefarious clutches. He can be possessive that way.” Pulling back from Rena, she fingered the crop hanging from her hip. “Nice try, but changing the subject won’t get you out of this conversation. Now,
explain why you think to submit to someone you have to give up your independence.”

  Tears burned the back of Rena’s eyes in face of Olivia’s determination. “Because it does – there’s no Dom out there who’ll allow me to submit in the bedroom, and treat me as an equal outside of it.” When Olivia opened her mouth to protest, Rena cut her off. “And don’t give me that crap about just knowing the wrong Doms, or how you know several who show their subs the same respect as they expect for themselves. I’ve been around the BDSM scene nearly as long as you. Many give lip service to only wanting a submissive woman in the bedroom, but then they still try to rule their sub’s lives outside of it. They wrap it in the logic they’re protecting them, but it’s total bullshit. I can protect myself.”

  “No one’s saying you can’t, Rena.”

  Tears in her eyes, Rena continued on her tirade. “They want their sub to accept it, but then they more likely than not get pissed off when the sub expects them to adhere to the same standards she’s being held to. It’s not fair and I won’t accept it anymore. I don’t care what my body says. My head makes my decisions, not my libido.”

  Olivia leaned back. “As it should. Now, do you feel any better? Or do you need to vent some more before we get down to the heart of the matter?”

  The blood drained from Rena’s face as she realized how much trouble she was in. Olivia wasn’t going to be bamboozled by her tirade. “Shit.”

  * * * *

  Stumbling into her apartment, Rena felt like a wrung out dishrag. Olivia had been relentless. She’d poked and prodded until Rena had finally broken. It hadn’t mattered how much Rena had wanted to deck the other woman, Olivia had still managed to pry a confession out of her very weary soul. She could now see why Olivia was such a revered Domme. She knew how to get inside of a submissive’s head and find out what made them tick and why, but only time would honestly tell if Rena had begun healing or not.

  Sinking onto the couch, she barely jerked when her cell phone vibrated. She groaned when she recognized the number – Jackson. Christ the last thing she wanted to do was talk to him now. Not when she was so raw. But Olivia said she needed to push her fear aside and at least try even if it wasn’t with her nephew.