Commander in Briefs

by Kristy Marie

  He sighs. I’m sure he really doesn’t want to be around me right now. The feeling is mutual, but I have to know.

  “Yes. Now move.”

  “I’ll go with you.” I’m opening the door to let us out when he pops back.

  “No.”

  I shrug and open the door anyway. He’ll come. He needs the release too bad. Reluctantly, he pushes past me.

  “You are not going with me.”

  I smile. “We’ll see.”

  I love pushing his fucking buttons. He launches out the door in a sprint, hoping to lose me. He’s faster than me but Lady Luck is on my side because I easily catch up. He must be tired.

  He groans when I jog up alongside him. “Go away.”

  I stay silent as he runs, hoping he’ll cool off after a mile or so. I can’t last though. Two minutes in and I blurt out my curiosity. “I didn’t know that about Anniston.”

  Inhaling a deep breath, he pushes forward. “I imagine not. She’s not a sharer.”

  I keep a steady pace beside him, both of us facing forward to keep the conversation from being too intimate.

  “How did her mother die?” I’m winded trying to keep up with his pace but I try not to let it show.

  As we push forward over the crest of the hill, he huffs out, “Ask her yourself.”

  “She won’t tell me,” I admit. She won’t. I’ve tried digging into her past. “Not without something in return,” I add, so he knows I’ve attempted. But everything has a price. One I’m not willing to pay.

  The smug bastard smiles at me. “Seems like you’ll have to cough up the info she wants.”

  I want to punch him. Seriously. I want to kick one of his legs out from under him, watch him fall, and then beat the ever-loving shit out of him. But I don’t. Instead, I give him the only bargaining chip I have left. Something he wants more than anything.

  “I will concede,” I mutter quietly.

  He pulls to a halt. “What did you say?”

  I stop running and circle back, raking the sweat from my hair. “You heard me.” I know he did. He just wants to hear me say it again. Prick.

  He cocks his head expectantly. He knows I’ll repeat it. I want the information too bad. I’m desperate for the information. I would do anything for it except disclose my own secrets.

  “I will concede,” I grit out painfully. I don’t want to lose her but then again, I never really had her in the first place.

  This makes the little prick happy, as he flashes me a cocksure smile. “And why would you do that?”

  Now he’s just being a dick. He wants me to spell it out for him so he can rejoice in his victory.

  He paces in a circle, huffing out breaths as he waits for my answer.

  “As much as you may think it’s true, I’m not an asshole. I recognize a deep-rooted love when I see it. I may not understand why she loves you but I can respect her wishes. I thought she deserved better than you and I still think she does, but I can see that you love her. You know her better than anyone ever will. I can accept just being her friend.”

  When I finish, he looks up and gives me a terse nod. It’s a brotherly code. I’ve accepted my fate in her life and given my blessing to him in hers.

  He swallows thickly, probably swallowing down some asshole remark, and starts walking. I follow, eager for the other piece of the story.

  “Her parents were young when they got pregnant. They married. Her dad joined the military to earn a living. Her mother, Sarah, was on the way to the grocery store one afternoon when she lost consciousness and crashed her car into a ravine. A brain aneurysm, they called it. She was being airlifted to a local hospital when she coded. They kept her alive long enough to get Anniston out. She weighed like a pound or something.”

  He gives me a sad smile. I chew the inside of my cheek, giving him my undivided attention.

  “Anyway, you heard about all the issues, the vision, CP, brain bleed, etc.—”

  I cut him off. “Vision?”

  “Oh, just that she can’t see shit. She wears contacts now, though, instead of those huge glasses.” He laughs, probably remembering how dorky she looked in glasses. I don’t. This is serious.

  He clears his throat after my scathing look and gets back to his end of the bargain.

  “They called her dad home from overseas. He took one look at her, handed her over to her grandfather, and said, ‘Look after her.’ Later, he was injured by a roadside bomb. He came home, not knowing how to care for a child or function at his job at the mill. One day, he never showed to pick up Anniston from their house. Hines, Anniston’s grandfather, found him dead in the car. Asphyxiated, carbon monoxide from the exhaust. She was two.”

  My eyes widen with that information. Her dad was military? Is that why she felt like she needed to help me? Is this her redemption for not being able to save her father? I have so many questions but I stick to a safer one. “So, her grandparents raised her?”

  “Yep.”

  He begins to jog, so I do, too, keeping up easily this time. My endurance is getting better every day.

  “How did you come into the picture?” I want to know how this angel of shit came in and swooped her off her feet.

  He makes a soft noise, almost like he’s reliving the memory. “Would you believe she saw me next door and fell all over herself to meet me?”

  I actually snort. “No.”

  He barks out a laugh, obviously pulling my leg. “Believe it or not, I lived down the road. She took walks with her grandpa every evening, past our house. One day, I was playing basketball in the driveway when she stopped and told me the object of the game is to get the ball into the net.”

  I chuckle, thinking that is just like something she would do.

  “And so, she stayed and showed me how it was done. Her grandparents died our senior year of high school. We moved in together after that and the rest is history.”

  I nod in silence. They go way back. Much further than I originally thought. “I knew about this being her grandparent’s house but not the rest. Thank you. I meant what I said.”

  I will concede and be content being her friend. Hopefully.

  He nods in return, meeting my gaze. “I appreciate it.” He turns to sprint off but pulls back. “This doesn’t mean we are friends.”

  I look at him and flash him the cockiest fucking smile I can muster. “Wouldn’t have it any other way.”

  “Yeah, this dude keeps calling asking for her. I told him she’s been busy.”

  Cade’s busy teasing Theo this morning. An expression for the memory books, Theo’s mouth drops open in shock, his eyes eager for more of an explanation. If I didn’t feel sorry for him, I would take part in Cade’s ribbing. But I can’t. Poor thing looks panicked.

  Farther into the kitchen, Cade continues his torture, goading Theo with thoughts of competition. Both men are relaxed, lounging at the small breakfast table, Cade with his back to me, his feet kicked up on the glass tabletop. He knows better than that.

  “You don’t know his name?” Theo’s apprehension is evident as he adjusts his posture, sitting taller in his chair, squaring his broad shoulders. Now, barely on the edge of his seat, he scoots closer to Cade, desperate to know more.

  “Nope,” Cade pops the “p” in nope, reveling in making Theo squirm, “just that he keeps calling.”

  Okay, that’s enough. He’s had his fun. I waltz in, knock into Cade’s chair, startling his feet off the table. He turns slightly, looking every bit of sheepish as he should. “Morning, Commander,” he drawls lazily, flashing me a boyish grin.

  “Major. I see you’re in good spirits this morning.” I jerk my head in Theo’s general direction so he knows I heard his bullshit story.

  The brilliance of his smile ratchets up, his cheeks plumping along his strong, angular jaw. Body tense, he stands, holding in a laugh. “Now that you’re here, I have some business I need to attend to.” Those emeralds glisten mischievously as he gives me a sly wink, leaning in and placing a c
haste kiss to my cheek.

  A growl interrupts him.

  Chuckling, Cade heads toward the back door that leads out to the barn. “Von Bremen,” he calls, tipping his chin in a playful gesture.

  As soon as the door clicks shuts, Theo pops off. “He is such a dick-bag. What kind of business does he have to attend to anyway? Wiping asses? Admit it, he sits around here all day watching bullshit HGTV, all cozy in his beige robe, eating Oat Bran out of Grandma McCallister’s fine china.”

  I try really hard not to laugh and encourage Theo’s behavior, but I can’t seem to help it when he keeps on, obviously on a roll this morning. “I mean, he has to get that stick out of his ass somehow, right?”

  Giggling, I smack his arm, pulling up a chair to face him.

  “Don’t start this morning,” I scold, tugging his clenched hands from his lap, the only indication that his joke was a mask to cover his anxious mood. With slow, methodic massages to his palms, I ask soothingly, “What are you doing today?”

  He’s only home for the next two days, then it’s back to D.C.—or the pits of hell, as he likes to call it.

  He shrugs, almost childlike. “I have something this afternoon but nothing after that. You think we could go out for dinner later?”

  He’s uneasy, his usual cockiness vanishing with each twitch of his fingers. He chews absently on his bottom lip, his mind somewhere else. What’s going on with him this morning?

  “Sure. Anywhere in particular?”

  “Uh, I have a place in mind. I need to see if we can get a table though. I’ll let you know.”

  This is new. Theo and I have frequented most all the restaurants Madison has to offer at one time or another. I’m not an expensive date. We usually gorge on tacos and takeout at our two favorite hole-in-the-wall places, ten miles down the road. So, the need to call for a table sparks my interest immensely.

  “Sounds exciting. Just let me know. Cade and I have a meeting with the Veteran’s Association this afternoon about establishing a foundation.”

  “What? You’re establishing a foundation?”

  Now it’s my turn to be nervous. I haven’t really discussed my vision with Theo. Cade and I agreed it was something we both wanted to do. We’re in this for the long haul.

  “Uh, yeah. I didn’t mention it?”

  Theo eyes me like I’m hiding something. I’m not. I’m just not sure how he’s going to react to this new admission. Don’t get me wrong, I love my job as a physician. I love the MLB, too. But, I love these vets and want nothing more than to help them integrate back into society. They deserve kindness and compassion and nothing is going to stop me from giving them everything I possibly can. I finally feel like I’ve found my calling.

  I finally feel a sense of redemption for my father.

  Had someone been there for him like I am for these guys, then maybe, just maybe, I would have had him longer than two short years.

  “No, you didn’t mention it. What about your job?”

  I shrug, buying time. This is the hard part. I need to be honest. Theo and I love to delude ourselves into thinking that he must have me to be able to pitch with expert precision.

  “You don’t need me full time, Theo. You never have.”

  I massage his hands harder, attempting to take the sting out of what I’m confessing. I don’t want to work for Theo full time anymore. I want to be here, helping where I’m needed the most.

  Theo is shaking his head in disagreement before I can elaborate further. “That’s not true.”

  But it is. He knows it, I know it.

  “Yes, it is. Your team trainers have more experience than I will ever be able to acquire.”

  He pulls back his hands, interlacing them behind his head. Letting him go seems like a goodbye. Crazy, right? I’m scared this is the beginning of the end for us. I kept holding on to the hope that fate would step in and make us work somehow, but now… I’m not so sure.

  Theo stands, his hands tugging at the strands of those beautiful, midnight waves that I’ve spent countless hours running my own fingers through. “What are you saying?”

  My throat works to swallow down the huge-ass lump in my throat as I wrack my brain for the best way to say this to him. The pained expression on his face breaks my fucking heart.

  Just pull off the Band-Aid, Ans.

  “I want to reduce my hours with the MLB.”

  “You mean, with me?” He’s hurt, there’s no denying it now. Those midnight blues glaze over and nothing but sheer agony replaces the usual mischievous gleam.

  I’m out of my chair, clutching his arms before he can get away. “No, not from you. Never from you.”

  I rub soothingly, against the downy-fine hair along his arms. Nestling into his strong shoulder, I continue breaking my best friend’s heart.

  “I want to be with you, Teddy, but, this is my calling.” My voice quivers as I struggle to get the last word out.

  Theo picks up my distress, instinctively wrapping his arms around me, comforting me when I’m the one hurting him. His embrace is safe. Soothing.

  He inhales a ragged breath. I’m preparing myself for the inevitable pain of parting ways with someone who has been by my side for fifteen years. My muscles tense painfully at the thought of him with another girl. If he moves on after this and finds a girl who will travel the world with him, then, I will be happy for them. Eventually. Okay, that is a total lie. I will hate that bitch to the point of psychosis.

  “I need to go.” Abruptly, Theo pushes away and places a sweet kiss to my forehead. “We’ll discuss it later, okay?”

  I’m relieved there will be a later. That this isn’t our final goodbye.

  “Okay,” I whisper, my heart in my throat.

  With a curt nod and a frown, he leaves me standing in the middle of an empty kitchen. For some reason, I’ve never felt more alone than I do at this moment.

  “You okay, Commander?”

  The Veteran’s Association in Atlanta spares no expense for their visitors. Insert sarcasm here. Currently, Cade and I are still waiting in this muted, boring-ass waiting area that looks as though the Pillsbury Dough Boy had one too many biscuits and barfed all over this tiny closet they call a waiting area. The dreadful cream paint colors and matching drapes aren’t the only details annoying me. Worse, is the hard-plastic chair that is digging into my back, making me think of creative ways to blackmail one of the guys for a massage later.

  I raise my head, meeting Cade’s worried expression. He’s picked up on my anxiety. My knee has been bouncing continuously since we got here. Damn Theo, making me worry. Shit’s been distracting me all day. I flash Cade a fake smile, reassuring him that I’m okay. “Yeah, I’m good. Just a little spat with Theo. I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

  By the quirk of Cade’s brow, I can tell he thinks I’m lying. He won’t call me out on it, though, he’s too much of a gentleman for that.

  He simply nods, moving the conversation along. “You told him about reducing your hours?”

  Exhaling into the stale air of the room, I look skyward. “Yep.”

  “And… what did he say?”

  I don’t really want to talk about it at the moment. Theo and I may not be fine after this. The way we left it was…I don’t know. It’s still too raw to judge. But I don’t want to hurt Cade’s feelings either so I suck it up and answer, fighting through my desire to bottle it up.

  “Nothing, really. He was hurt but said we would talk about it later.”

  I shrug like it’s not a big deal. But we both know it is a very big deal. My whole relationship with Theo has been built on excuses. Not wanting to be the only virgin in med school. Him needing a trainer. Me needing a residency program. No, we both knew what we were doing with each other. I wanted him from the first minute I saw him shooting that basketball with terrible form. I was desperate to have him and he wanted me, too. Bad. But we never knew how to cross that line with each other. We were so scared to ruin something perfect, we found excuse after excu
se to alter it. Like somehow that made it easier. Now, with the bullshit blown to hell, we don’t know where to go. Our lives are on different paths.

  “He loves you.”

  I jerk at Cade’s admission. Cade and I don’t discuss Theo and me. Ever. He doesn’t want to know and I don’t want to share. Even though Cade has become my best friend and confidant, I still don’t share my feelings for Theo with him. I’m ashamed of the things I’ve done to stay in Von Bremen’s life.

  “I know that… but sometimes love isn’t enough, you know?”

  He shrugs, his eyes going to the dingy, nineteen-sixties tiled floor. “Maybe you should let him go and see what happens.”

  For a solid minute, all I do is blink at Cade in full-on freak-out mode. I’m talking crazy-eye staring.

  He shrugs and adds, “It’s just a thought. Make him shit or get off the pot. Stop being his bitch.”

  My mouth drops open in shock. “You think I’m Theo’s bitch?”

  He grins, shrugging boyishly.

  “I am fucking offended, Major!” I’m really not, but Cade being so forthcoming and honest about his opinion is a nice change of pace. It means he’s opening up more. I’m trying to mask my excitement by glaring shamelessly. “I can’t believe you called me a bitch.”

  Cade’s eyes go wide in horror. He thinks he offended me, but the B word does not do it for me. Call me a cunt and it’s on but bitch, nah.

  I laugh, unable to contain my farce any longer. “Gah! You are so damn gullible, Cade. It almost takes the fun out of teasing you.”

  His returning scowl is interrupted by an underpaid minion with a bad bottle job and an attitude to match, requesting us to follow her to the back.

  Fucking finally!

  We go down a grimy hall to a tiny office, where we take a seat in fantastic chairs matching the ones in the waiting area and explain that we are looking to establish a foundation, given our current situation with a house full of veterans.

  With a blank expression, the pimply-faced teen twirls his earbuds, completely zoned out to our pleas. Okay, he’s probably twenty and he’s twirling a pencil, but still, he’s staring at us like he hates his job and could give a shit less about our guys or the needs of the community.