Commander in Briefs

by Kristy Marie

  Fine. If that’s how she’s going to be. I shrug, like I don’t give a fuck either way. I don’t really care what’s going on with Mason but I do care that she’s keeping secrets. I don’t like that at all.

  To ease the tension that has seized my muscles, I look out over the green pastures, spotting Cade screaming at Hayes to pick up the gun. I’m on my feet in an instant.

  “What’s he doing to Hayes?” I’m defensive. I don’t know much about Hayes but I do know he’s a good guy. I can’t imagine him doing anything to deserve being yelled at like Cade is now.

  Anniston stands up beside me, shading her eyes to see where I’m looking. “Oh.”

  “Oh?” I repeat. What the fuck is oh for an answer?

  “He’s trying to get Hayes to overcome his fear of guns. He was a sniper in the Marines.”

  That makes absolutely no sense. He’s scared, but he handled one for years? “Explain, please. That makes it sound like Hayes is a crazy.”

  Anniston sighs, turning away from the guys. Is it hard for her to watch Cade scream at him, too? She sits, patting the spot next to her. “Has Hayes ever told you why he was homeless?”

  I shake my head. We don’t talk about that shit. Usually, if I want to know something, I grill Cade until he breaks and tells me just to get me to shut up. I know Hayes was in the military and homeless. All Cade said was that he made a hard decision and now lives with the consequences. I didn’t care at the time, so I moved on.

  “Hayes was the top sharpshooter in his class. He was whisked off to duty soon after he graduated high school. His older sister confided in him through letters that she was in an abusive relationship and didn’t know how to get out. Hayes went wild, went AWOL and returned home. He confronted the boyfriend and packed his sister’s stuff. When they went to leave, the guy grabbed Hayes’ sister, started choking her right there in front of him, saying the only way she was leaving was in a body bag. Hayes pulled his weapon. Told him to let her go and then…he shot. Killed him with a single shot to the head. The neighbors heard the gun go off and called the police.”

  My head is swimming with this information. Hayes killed someone? That’s pretty fucking awesome. Go Hayes. If that were Ans, I would have popped his ass, too.

  “He served ten years. He was eighteen years old.”

  “So, he got out and had no home? Where’s the sister?”

  Ans shakes her head. “I don’t know. He won’t say. Maybe he’s ashamed and doesn’t want to face her or something.” She shrugs, unsure. “But, he won’t touch a gun. He shakes and it’s almost like PTSD when he gets close to one. Cade’s been helping him at his request. Hayes wants to hold one again but it’s like his body physically recoils when he sees a gun. Some days, Cade tries being comforting and other days he’s his commanding officer. So far, neither work.”

  I nod and stand, checking on them. Cade is still barking in his ear. After the story I just heard, I am in no mood to continue to watch this.

  “I want to play Call of Duty again. I’m going to get Hayes. You don’t mind, right, Commander?”

  She sees through my bullshit, knows I feel sorry for him. The question is, will she call me out on it?

  She eyes me suspiciously. “I guess so. Tell Cade I said it’s okay.”

  With a terse chin jerk, I head slowly down the steps. I don’t look back to see the stupid smile I bet she has plastered on her face. I did not just grow a fucking heart for these guys.

  I’m tapping my chewed-up pen against the small antique writing desk in the corner. Having slept on my decision, I’m finally ready to take action, which unfortunately requires Theo’s assistance. “So, you know how the other day on the deck, you asked me about what was bothering me? And I told you something Mason said had me thinking?”

  Theo is lounging in the sitting chair in my bedroom, looking all kinds of sexy in his plain old t-shirt and sweats, reading his Men’s Health Magazine.

  I anticipate a barrage of questions since I’m opening up, but he waits me out, only tilting his head in curiosity. “Yeah.”

  “Well, I’ve decided. I’m going to commit a crime.” The words slip past my lips quickly, like I’ve held them back too long.

  His eyebrows raise slowly and his lip quirks in response to my outburst. “Really?”

  I nod. “Yeah. I’m going to steal Mason’s dog back. That bitch doesn’t deserve him.”

  “Mason has a dog? And what bitch?”

  Sighing, I realize I’m going to have to disclose some of Mason’s secrets to get Theo’s help with this mission.

  “Yes, Theo. The bitch is his ex-wife. She divorced him when he returned from deployment. She got his war dog in the divorce because her new boyfriend was a damn good attorney. Any other questions?”

  Theo nods, his brows scrunched in thought. “Don’t you have enough strays, Ans? Seriously, this hobby of yours is getting out of hand.”

  I glare at him. I’m in no mood for his rude-ass commentary.

  “Okay. When are we committing this said crime?” He flashes me his adorable smile.

  I am immediately over my aggravation with his asshole remark. My Theo, always down for some trouble… I chuckle at his easygoing nature about committing a possible felony and don’t answer him right away. Instead, I advance and straddle his outstretched legs, letting my hands roam up his scrumptious chest. He tosses the magazine away like yesterday’s trash and his hands eagerly grip my hips.

  His thick head of hair compels me to run my fingers through it. And with a bit more aggression than is warranted. Rubbing my nose against the outer edge of his ear, I inhale his bergamot scent, a combination of his soap and deodorant. He knows where this is heading, his long length already hardening underneath me as he takes hold of the back of my head, pulling me up against his hard abs.

  “I want to go in this afternoon,” I breathe into his ear. Sitting up, I continue, “I have been casing her house and she’s almost never home. That poor dog just sits on a chain in the backyard with no interaction whatsoever. I bet she doesn’t even feed him properly.” I shake my head in disgust.

  This lady is already on my shit list. After what Mason has been through, I think it takes a pretty evil bitch to wrangle a vet’s dog just to be the one on top of the divorce.

  “How do you plan on pulling it off?”

  I shrug, looking away with a grin. “I was hoping you would ask Brad for a favor.”

  He balks. “AAA Brad? The dumbass I had to rescue you from at that party a few years ago?”

  I nod my head in a silent yes. That Brad. The Brad I paraded around in front of Theo all semester long, driving him crazy with jealousy.

  When he puts two and two together, he cringes “Me? Why don’t you ask Brad, the fire starter?”

  “Because you said he likes your ass better than mine. You remember?” I remind him of the time when I called him to come get me from Brad’s party. Brad could only find my asshole that night, rubbing so hard he could have started a fire. I wiggle my eyebrows up and down at Theo like I am the smartest villain ever, but the way he looks at me makes me think I must look like a defective doll—the kind that open and close their eyes when you lay them down. Okay. No humor today. Moving on. “And I also happen to know from social media that Brad is a dogcatcher now.”

  Theo takes a deep breath, stretching his back to look at the ceiling—his tell when he is trying to find patience. So damn dramatic.

  I huff out an angry breath. “Can you do it or not?”

  Slowly, he brings his head forward and holds my gaze. “Sure. But I want some incentive.” He fucking winks, like the arrogant asshole he is. Theo does nothing without incentive.

  I wave my hand in the air, cutting off any elaboration. “I know, I know. You want a blow job. Deal.”

  His eyes go wide. “I’m surprised and ashamed at your lack of negotiating, McCallister.” He raises fluidly off the chair, effectively pushing me onto the cushion alone. “What favor am I to ask of Brad?”

&n
bsp; Do not roll your eyes. Do not roll your eyes. Men are so dense sometimes.

  I speak slowly so my cadence conveys that I am indeed talking to an idiot. “Brad. Is. A. Dogcatcher. I. Need. Him. To. Catch. A. Dog.”

  Theo shoots me a glare and I can’t help the laugh that snorts out. “Of course, I need him to catch this stray dog after I loosen his collar and set him free.” I shrug like this is a piece of cake.

  Now it’s Theo’s turn to look at me like I’m the stupid one.

  “What? It’s a good plan.”

  He grimaces and runs a frustrated hand through his hair. “I need to warn Thad that he probably should stand by in case we need to be bailed out of jail.”

  That might not be a bad idea, but I don’t tell Theo. He looks pretty uptight, and starts to pace with that damn finger to his lip. Instantly my vagina starts to drool like the whore she is. Down girl! No sex for you until the penis does what we need it to.

  Pacing alongside the picture window, he voices his concerns out loud. “How are you planning to keep the dog, Ans?”

  I shrug. “I’m hoping she won’t be home and Brad will look legit putting the dog in the back of his truck and leaving an ordinance violation on her door. Hopefully, she’ll never try to look for him.”

  His eyes widen in horror. And the award for best drama goes to… “Oh my gosh. This is exactly why you should always be supervised.”

  I give him my middle finger, which he doesn’t acknowledge.

  “What we need is a reason that she can’t have him back.”

  “Other than she’s a cunt and should be shot?”

  He nods, frowning a little but then bounces excitedly. “What if a super sexy jogger,” he uses air quotes, “gets bit and insists the rabid animal be put down or he’ll sue?”

  Hell, yeah! See, this is why Theo is my motherfucking wingman. Underneath all those hard-earned muscles, he actually has a genius brain.

  I jump from the chair and launch myself at him. “That idea is perfect. You are so getting that blow job!”

  “Do you think we need to take a water bowl or something?” Theo asks, rifling through a box.

  We’re both squatting in the attic, trying not to bump our heads on the nails protruding from the roof.

  I look up from the box I’m digging through in search of a dog leash. I know my grandparents used to have one here somewhere. “Nah, we’ll swing by a drive-through.”

  Theo looks confused for a moment but he shrugs it off quickly and continues to busy himself in his own box. I already have a dog bowl and a bottled water. I just wanted to see if he would question me. Nope. He’ll go along with anything at this point in our relationship. He has complete trust in me.

  I’m almost to the point of giving up on the leash when he shouts, “Found it!”

  “Thank goodness! Come on, let’s get going before we lose the daylight. It’s an hour drive.”

  I open the passenger door to Theo’s precious Mustang and I kid you not, there are about fifty blankets in the backseat. “Are you preparing for the apocalypse, or what?”

  “What?” He’s distracted, fumbling with the radio.

  “What’s with all the blankets, weirdo?” The sound of a game comes through the speakers and he’s apparently spellbound. Giving up on getting an answer, I throw the rest of our gear in the back atop the mountain of blankets. He speeds out of the driveway as soon as my seatbelt is on.

  We meet Brad at some Podunk gas station right outside the town of Madison, where Mason’s ex resides. He’s standing next to his scratched and dinged animal taxi. The truck is not in very decent shape, but I guess that’s to be expected when you haul unwilling animals around all day.

  Theo parks several spaces away from Brad’s vehicle, which I find seriously amusing. “Are you scared he may jump you and grab a handful of that ass?”

  He doesn’t share my amusement, but scoffs, correcting me, “Hell no. I just don’t want my car getting fleas.”

  “Ah. I should have known you wouldn’t mind a little ass grabbing, but God forbid this precious car gets dirty. What if the dog has fleas? What are you going to do then?”

  He frowns, his dimples sinking deeper in his cheek, making him appear incredibly boyish. He’s quiet and I can tell he’s trying to figure out the situation. With a resolute sigh, he says, “It’ll come out of your ass,” and jumps out of the car.

  Okay, then. I may or may not look forward to it.

  I pop open the door and jog to catch up with him. No way is he going to act like the leader of this little operation, and all jokes aside, Brad better keep his greedy paws off my boy’s ass. I have worked that ass hard to get it to look like that. No one, and I mean no one, gets to grab it unless I say.

  Brad greets us with the typical southern acknowledgment. “Hey y’all. Good to see you.” He extends his hand to Theo and surprisingly, without hesitation, Theo shakes it. I start to give him my hand, but instead he grabs my arm and pulls me in for a hug. “Naw, girl. I need a hug.”

  Ha! Take that, Von Bremen. Brad likes my ass better. I casually look over Brad’s shoulder and as maturely as possible, stick my tongue out at Theo. He rolls his eyes but clears his throat, bringing Brad back to the reason we are here.

  Brad takes the hint and steps back quickly, looking from me to Theo and back to me.

  “So, what’s the plan?”

  I take the lead because this is my crime. “I’m going to run the block a few times and when the coast is clear I will sneak into the backyard and loosen the collar, setting the dog free. You’ll need to be close by with the treats so you can lure him to the truck. I’ll be there to help you. Meanwhile, Theo will be running the block. Hopefully there will be witnesses and he can put on a show of being bit and call you. You’ll then track the dog, loading him into the van and explain to the cunt that the dog must go to the pound etc., etc.”

  Brad gives me an understanding nod.

  Theo just looks bored.

  “Any questions?” I ask, impatient to load up and get this show on the road.

  “Yeah. One more. How are you going to make it look like Theo was bit?”

  I feel my lips turn up at the corners like the Grinch. “You leave that to me,” I tell him while I lock eyes with a now slightly nervous Theo.

  “Do you seriously have to bite me, Ans?”

  We’re sitting in Theo’s car about a block away from Rachael’s (aka the bitch). Theo has on his compression pants and gym shorts. Unfortunately, he has on a shirt, too. He’s the poster boy for: kids get off the sofa and eat your veggies. His legs are hanging out the passenger door while I’m squatted eye level with his delicious calves. Caressing the right one, I massage it until I feel the muscle relax a little.

  “Come on, Theo. Don’t be a baby. You never cared before when I bit you.”

  Glaring, he snaps, “That’s different and you fucking know it.” He’s chickening out. “You weren’t taking a huge-ass dog bite out of me.”

  “I won’t take a huge bite, I promise. Think of it as a little love bite,” I soothe, trying to relax him further as I continue to massage his calf.

  He doesn’t look very calm but after a few deep breaths he agrees. “Fine. One bite. But later, when you’re on your knees thanking me, I get to bite you back.”

  Eh. That might not be so bad. He always goes for the ass. I have enough meat there for him to get a mouthful of retaliation. Before he changes his mind, I slide his compression pants up his calf. “I think this needs to come off.”

  “You’re probably right.” He stands and quickly his shorts and pants hit his ankles. No hesitation. No shame in his body.

  Theo’s confidence has always been a turn on for me. Living with the guys and constantly encouraging them about their body takes a lot of energy. It’s a nice reprieve to see Theo just strip it off and let me get my fill.

  Taking the opportunity given, I kiss the tip of his length where it rests near my cheek. It isn’t hard but it certainly has potential. One swi
pe of my tongue and it would be a go. Nothing turns Theo on more than public indecency.

  Me, too, if I am being honest here.

  “Mmm… You better hurry and get those shorts back on, handsome.” I moan my appreciation.

  He chuckles, pulling them up, creating the barrier we need to stop ourselves before we lose all common sense. With his muscled calves exposed, I place a kiss on each one. Right or left? Which one to bite?

  “Hurry up, Anniston. Before I lose my nerve.” The strain of his voice tells me his patience is wearing thin. He’s a second away from saying fuck it and abandoning this plan.

  Knowing we don’t have much time, I kiss the left one, placing my teeth against the warm skin and bite down. He flinches but doesn’t wail or make a dramatic scene. I mean really, did he think I was going to remove flesh? I need a paycheck, too.

  If he doesn’t work then I’ll have to take extra hours in the ER, and let me be the first to say that sucks major butt. All the sniffling and yucky body fluids. No, thank you. There is a reason I specialized in sports medicine.

  “Is that it?” Theo asks hesitantly.

  I laugh. “Yeah, ya big baby. What did you think I was going to do?”

  He leans over and rubs his hand over the teeth marks. “You think the indentions will hold up?”

  I shrug. I don’t know. My hope is that the bitch won’t look too hard. “Maybe. The blood and your performance is what will sell it.” I open my purse, pulling out the fake blood we picked up from the party store. I hand it to him and he inspects it carefully. “What are you doing? Reading the damn ingredients?”

  “Am I not allowed to read?” he pops off, annoyed.

  Taking a deep breath, I will myself to settle down. We’re both wound pretty tight. You know, about to commit a crime and all…

  “I’m sorry. Yes, you can read it. Be sure you smear it all over and make it believable.”

  He opens the package, allowing the crimson cornstarch to bleed through his fingers. He smooths it over the bite and runs it down his leg into his sock, which will probably have to be trashed after this.