by Renna Peak
“You felt like you had to make a big statement.” I nod a few times. “So you rented out a ballroom?”
He chuckles. “I wasn’t sure what else to do. The only place we seem to be able to pause long enough to understand each other is on the dance floor. And if I have to take you dancing every night for the rest of my life, just so that we can have a civil conversation…” He grins. “Well, I suppose I’m willing to make the sacrifice.”
“I might like that.” I feel myself grinning to match his. “The dancing part, anyway. I always did love dancing with you.”
“Are you…?” He can’t seem to choke out his words. “Are you agreeing…?”
“I didn’t hear you ask me any questions, William.” And I’m not sure what the answer would be even if he did ask me. I haven’t stopped to talk myself out of anything yet, which is probably just as well. The negative voice in my head talks me out of plenty as it stands. I’m not sure I need her trying to talk me out of allowing William to be part of my life again.
“Then allow me to ask.” He releases me from his grasp and drops to one knee.
“William…” My breath catches in my throat. He can’t really be doing this. Not here…not like this.
He grins, and it only widens as he pulls something from his pocket. “I brought this with me from Montovia.” He glances down at his still closed hand. “I did this all wrong before, Justine. We should have made this right from the beginning.” He unfolds his hand and holds out a sparkling platinum band with a huge, light blue jewel affixed to it.
He picks it up with his other hand, holding it up so that I can admire it. “It was my great-great-grandmother’s.” I can hear the tightness in his voice—I’m not sure I’ve ever heard William nervous before. “When we married before, you…you wore one from your family’s collection. But if I’d been able to choose, this is the one I would have chosen for you.”
“William…”
“I know.” He grins up at me, still on one knee. “I still haven’t asked, have I?” He looks down at the ring in his hand. “Princess Justine of Rosvalia, will you marry me? Will you allow me the honor of being your husband again?”
It feels as though all the air has been sucked out of my chest. It isn’t until that moment that I realize the entire room has been decorated in our wedding colors—ivory and violet. When he said he wanted a do-over, he meant it literally.
But then I remember the real reason he’s asking, and I clutch my abdomen. “William, if this is only about my pregnancy—”
“Our baby.” He corrects me again. “But it isn’t.” He smiles as he rises, pulling my hands into his. “This is about me not wanting to spend another moment without you in my life.” He gazes down into my eyes. “Will you marry me?”
My head seems to bob involuntarily—I can’t really believe I’m agreeing to this.
As he slides the ring onto my finger, I look up at him. “William…I should—”
He motions to a corner of the room and a man begins to walk toward us. William grins down at me. “I thought perhaps we could do it now.”
“Do it…now?” I must be parroting him because of the jumble of emotions inside me. Have I really just agreed to marry him again? Now?
I shake my head. “William, I do love you. I…I always will. But I need to be honest with you. Things aren’t as simple as they seem—”
“Of course they are.” He releases one of my hands to touch the side of my face. “There’s you and me. And our child. That’s all that matters. We can figure everything else out later. Everything. There is nothing so complicated in our lives that we can’t solve any problem we might face together.”
“There is, though. There is the very real problem of my family. And when they find out…” I clutch my stomach again with my free hand. “When they find out about this, it will be a different matter altogether.”
William smiles down at me again as the man stops to stand next to us. He’s holding a Bible, and looks between the two of us, also smiling. “Shall we begin?”
I shake my head a few times. “William, I really need to tell you this. You need to know before we…” My gaze slides to the man next to us. “Before we go through with anything.”
“We’ve been through it before, though. This time, we’re doing it voluntarily. This time, there won’t be any contracts for our fathers to sign. This time, it’s only about us—”
I turn to the man. “Will you excuse us? For just a few minutes?”
He bows his head slightly and begins to back away.
“Justine…” William drops his hands and his shoulders sag with them. “I don’t…I don’t know what else I can do for you.”
“I’ll marry you, William. I will. But first, you need to hear what I have to say.”
“Fine.” He runs a hand through his hair. “What is it?”
“I…” I glance over my shoulder to see how far away the quartet is sitting. They’re far too distant to overhear anything. And the officiate has made his way to the other side of the room again, too. “I’m not sure how to say this.”
He frowns at me, but his gaze never leaves mine. “If you’re uncertain, you didn’t have to agree.”
“It…it isn’t that.” My stomach is churning again, and I feel like I might vomit. I clutch at my abdomen again. “William…I was pregnant before.”
His eyebrows rise the slightest bit. “You hinted as much.”
I shake my head at him, my gaze never leaving his. “I didn’t lose the child, though. I…” My chin begins to quiver, and tears fill my eyes. I never let myself near these pent-up emotions—they’re still far too painful.
My voice drops to a whisper. “I didn’t lose the baby.”
“You…” He nods. “I can understand why you would have made a decision like that. You were young, unmarried. And with that bastard of a man—”
“I didn’t have an abortion either, William.” I’m not sure where the strength in my voice comes from. “Not by choice.”
His eyebrows draw together. “I don’t understand—”
“James said all the same things you’ve said to me. He told me he’d stand by my side. He told me he’d support me, love me. But then…” My voice cracks, and all the strength that had been there a moment ago is suddenly gone.
“Then what, Justine?” His mouth hangs slightly open as he gazes down into my eyes. “Then what?”
“Then I woke up. I was alone in a procedure room—I didn’t know how I’d come to be there at all. But I was alone. And I wasn’t pregnant anymore.”
William
It’s as if the world has fallen still around us. The truth she’s just spoken hits me like a rock—suddenly, so much makes sense. And at the same time, nothing does.
“You woke up in a procedure room,” I find myself repeating as I try to process this. “Did James… Who…?”
“My father was behind it,” she says, not looking me in the eyes. “I know that much. James… James certainly knew. And did nothing to stop it. The baby wasn’t any more convenient for him than it was for my family.”
The enormity of this finally sinks in, and white-hot rage fills me, burning from the inside out. They took her baby against her will, snubbed out its life because it was inconvenient to them. So much of Justine’s sadness and fear suddenly makes sense—her distrust, her resistance to love, all of her attempts to pull away from me. She’s been hurt far worse than I ever imagined, betrayed in an unspeakable way by the men who should have been protecting her.
My hands have curled into fists, and I’m squeezing them so tight that my nails are digging into my palms.
I’m going to kill them—every single one of them. I’m going to hunt down James Camden, wherever the hell that bastard is, and pound in his skull. And then I’m going to return to Rosvalia and do the same to King Maximilian. I don’t care if I start a war. Those men will pay for what they’ve done to her. They won’t get away with this.
The quartet’s cellist coug
hs, snapping me out of my murderous thoughts and reminding me that we aren’t alone. I wave my hand at them, gesturing for them to begin playing again, but dancing is the last thing I want to do. I also shoot a glance at the officiate, but he seems to know he’s not needed yet. He stands by the door, well out of earshot.
And then my eyes fall on Justine again. She’s still not looking at me, but even though her eyes are on the floor, I can still see how much telling me this has cost her. How hard and how long she’s fought to bury the horrible truth.
I reach toward her, placing a hand gently on each of her cheeks and lifting her gaze. Her face is pale, and her eyes shimmer with unshed tears. The profound sadness I detected in her has finally broken through to the surface, plain for me to see, and she looks so scared and vulnerable that it pains me to even look at her.
“Justine…” I’m surprised to hear my voice break as I whisper her name. “Justine, I will never let that happen to you. I’ll never let those men—or anyone—ever hurt you again.” I step closer to her, letting my arms fall to pull her to my chest. “I swear it on my life, Justine—I’ll protect you. I would die before I let anyone betray you like that ever again.”
Her forehead falls against my shoulder. Her tears don’t fall, but I can feel the sadness and the emotional exhaustion in her body. And I’m sure she can feel the emotions in mine—the heartache for her, the anger at her father and her former lover, the restless tension I feel at not being able to do anything to undo the past. Once again, murderous thoughts flood my mind—don’t want to rest until James and Maximilian pay for what they’ve done.
But there are more important things than revenge. And they’re both in my arms right now. With a deep breath, I try to force myself to relax, try to push the anger out of my body.
“I’m sorry if I ever made you feel…” I shake my head and start again. “I’m sorry for ever doing or saying anything that might have made you believe I might hurt you like them. I’m sorry for being so insensitive to—”
“You didn’t know,” she says, lifting her face and looking up at me. “I…I should have told you before, but…”
“I never really gave you a reason to trust me,” I finish for her. “And even though we were married, we were still virtual strangers for much of that time. And this isn’t exactly something you share with a stranger.” I twine my fingers through her hair. “I don’t want to be strangers anymore, Justine. I want to know all of your fears and pains so I can protect you from them.”
“I don’t want to be strangers either,” she whispers back. “I want to be husband and wife.”
“You still want to marry me?”
She nods. “I just wanted you to know…to know the full truth before we did this.” Her eyes glitter, but the tears still don’t fall. “What happened to me is… It’s not going away. I’ll always carry that pain with me. And I think it’s only fair that you know. I can’t promise that I…” She steps back, letting her hand fall to her belly again. “I can’t promise that I’m going to be okay all the time. I think about that child that was stolen from me every day. And getting pregnant again has only made it so, so much worse.”
My thumb strokes her cheek. “You don’t have to be okay. Just promise me this—you’ll let me stay by your side to support you. That you’ll turn to me when the pain seems too great to bear, and ask for my help when you need it. And that you’ll allow me to protect you—and our child—from anything that might harm you again.”
She nods. “I promise.”
Hearing those words gives me more joy than I expected—and in her eyes I finally see the trust I’ve been trying so hard to build, now freely given.
“And I promise to spend the rest of my life living up to what you deserve,” I continue. “Earning your love and your trust over and over again, every day we have together.”
Her eyes are shining, but this time, it’s not from tears.
“Let’s get married,” she says.
Yes. Let’s finish starting over.
With a smile, I drop my hand from her hair and take her fingers in mine. As the quartet continues to play, I lead her over to the officiate. Right on cue, the musicians switch to the Montovian Wedding March, and Justine smiles, too.
The officiate is ready for us. The next few moments go by in a blur—the officiate has us repeat our vows to each other, but they pale next to the promises we just made in the middle of the ballroom. And as I stare down at the wondrous women beside me—the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known—I see my own feelings reflected back in her eyes. Today, we made a choice—the choice to trust each other and ourselves. The choice to stick together and have each other’s back against all obstacles. The choice to begin again.
It was a beautiful, exquisite choice, and at the same time, as I look deep into her eyes, I know there was never any choice at all.
Justine
It all happened so quickly, I’m still a little dumbfounded. Did I really just marry William again?
I look down at the exquisite ring on my finger, and it shimmers in the light. I did. I did really just marry him again.
It was the right decision, I know. I love him—I love him more than I ever could have imagined loving a person. Even though I had convinced myself—wrongly, of course—that I was never going to be able to find it in my heart again, it does seem that I have found something much deeper and much more real with William than I’ve ever known before.
He smiles down at me, as though he’s waiting for me.
My eyes flick over to the officiate, who gives me a small nod along with his bright smile.
William tips his head to speak into my ear. “We kiss now.”
Oh, of course. I’m not quite sure how I missed the urging of the officiate, but I grin up at William.
He pulls me into his arms before his lips meet mine. He’s so gentle at first, he doesn’t seem like the same man who’s kissed me so many times before. But as soon as I respond, tilting my head and sliding my arms around him, I’ve no doubt about his passion.
We must kiss for an inappropriate amount of time, because the officiate clears his throat after a few moments, and we pull away.
William is the first to start laughing, and once he begins, I’m unable to contain my own giddiness.
“Congratulations,” the man says, smiling at the two of us. “I know you both realize this wedding wasn’t legal, but I’ve been doing this for many years…” He shakes his head a few times, still grinning. “And I’m not sure I’ve ever seen two people more right for each other.” He shakes William’s hand, then mine, and he gives us a small wave before he leaves the ballroom.
I’m not sure why, but I start to laugh again. William stares at me for a few seconds before he starts to laugh, too, pulling me into his arms once more.
“Not legal?” I can barely get the words out, I’m laughing so hard.
“I tried. But I…I couldn’t get a marriage license without your consent. We can fly to Vegas tonight to make it official. We can have a legal marriage there without waiting.”
I tip my head into his shoulder, unable to contain my laughter. I’m finally able to control myself long enough to look up into his eyes once more. “You can’t really wonder why I love America so much, can you?”
We both begin laughing again, giggling like little schoolgirls.
He’s the next to speak. “Our wedding might not have been legal, but at least we were able to kiss this time.”
His statement sends us both into another fit of laughter. He stops after a few moments, but I don’t notice it for several more seconds.
Heat rises in my cheeks as I realize he’s watching me. I’m not sure why, but I suddenly feel very exposed and vulnerable.
He pulls my hand into his, placing a gentle kiss on the back of it. “I still want to marry you. I still want you to wear my ring. I still want to be your husband.” His lips tick up into the smallest smile I’ve ever seen from him, and I know he isn’t making one of his joke
s. “But most of all, I want to make you laugh like this every single day. I want to be the one to make you smile.”
“You’ll have to learn some new jokes.”
His almost solemn tone breaks into surprised laughter again at my words. “I’ll do whatever it takes, Princess. Whatever it takes.”
I nod at him, and he pulls me into an embrace. We stand like that, just holding each other for what seems an eternity.
William must motion for the quartet to begin playing, because the music starts up again after a time. He brings a finger to my chin, tilting it so that I meet his gaze. “Would you like to dance?”
I nod at him, smiling again.
He spins me out onto the dance floor, and we waltz. His gaze never leaves mine, and his smile never falls. As soon as our dance ends, he smiles down at me again. “We don’t have to return to your dormitory tonight. I’ve taken the best suite they have at this hotel—”
“Oh, William. I can’t.”
“Oh.” His eyebrows draw together. “I thought we might—”
“I would love to. I honestly would. But I have homework. I’m…” I shake my head. “I don’t expect you to understand. I have an assignment due tomorrow that I haven’t begun yet. And I—”
“Leave school.” His tone has turned solemn again, and he stares down into my eyes. “We can go somewhere and have our honeymoon—”
“For our pretend wedding?” I can’t help but smile. “As much as I would love that, I need to do this.”
“You don’t need to do anything. Neither of us does. It’s the privilege of our station in life.” He makes a sweeping gesture with his arm. “We have the world at our feet. We don’t have any needs—”
“William, I do need this. I need to prove something to myself. I…” I raise my thumb to my mouth, chewing on my nail for a moment before I realize what I’m doing and snap my hand behind my back to stop myself. “I know you don’t understand.”