Release (The Submerged Sun, #3)

by Garden,Vanessa

  “Thank God he forgets every day. It’s a blessing, really,” said my sister.

  He was alive. My grandfather was still alive.

  I was about to run out from behind the van and shout “Sarah” but Lily crouched down beside me and put a hand on my arm as though she could read my thoughts.

  “You can’t do it to her, remember? You’ll hurt her.”

  Swallowing down an unreasonable and selfish objection, I nodded my head and rested it against the rough bitumen, thinking that Lily was right about staying quiet. But why didn’t it feel right? Though I knew revealing myself would only inflict further damage to my sister’s life, it still felt wrong and unnatural to not do so. My sister was only a few feet away and I wasn’t able to touch her or tell her that I was okay.

  “Poor love. And poor you,” the woman said.

  My ears strained to listen.

  There was some sniffing and a blowing of the nose, before Sarah spoke up again.

  “I’ve put him out back. Fresh air will do him good and he loves looking at the garden. But if you can bring him in and sit him in front of the telly for the midday movie I’d love you for it. I’ve left his lunch in the fridge. Just a minute thirty in the microwave. I’ve got to get to work early today.”

  “Of course. Key under the mat?”

  “Yep. Thanks, Kel.”

  “No probs, Sarah. You go on off to work and I’ll sort your Poppy out. I’ll put me washing on and pop in to see him in around an hour.”

  “Okay, bye.”

  “Bye, my love.”

  I listened to Sarah’s footsteps die away and the woman’s front door shut.

  Lily put her arms around me and squeezed as tightly as she could. I stiffened beneath her touch.

  “I’ve got to see him, Lil. I have to.”

  “No. You can’t. It’ll only hurt him when you have to say goodbye. Think about it rationally.”

  “She said he forgets everything each day. That means I can see him without him remembering, without doing any damage.” My heart was thundering against my rib cage as I watched my sister’s blurred form disappear around the street corner. If only I could chase after her and tap her on the shoulder. I turned back to face Lily. “I have to do this.”

  “I don’t know, Rob...”

  “I can’t leave without telling Pop that I’m okay.” I smiled at Lily. “I remember now, that I used to call him Poppy.”

  Lily blurry face smiled up at me. Her blue eyes, however, were dark with concern. “Okay. Just a short while. I’ll keep watch out here. I’ll whistle if there’s any trouble.”

  I rubbed at my eyes and blinked several times. My gaze sharpened a little.

  Feeling half like a criminal and half like I had the right, I climbed over the washed out, grey picket fence and walked the familiar garden path which was fringed with a variety of blooms. As I moved up the steps to the front door, I once again thanked my eyes for giving me this tiny blessing of being able to see my home again.

  The gardens were neat, colourful and well cared for. Sarah must have inherited my mother’s green thumb.

  The thought stopped me in my tracks. Another memory swiftly returned, this time an image of my mother wearing a straw hat, her fingers caked in dirt as she showed me how to plant a seedling into the damp, dark earth. She’d been a good, kind mother. All smiles and encouragement. Warmth filled my insides. Perhaps more memories would return while I was here.

  Beneath the mat the same key I had used when I was nine glinted up at me. It felt cool in my hands, and familiar. It was surreal putting it in the keyhole and hearing the familiar click as I turned the brass knob.

  “Hello?” I called out, inhaling years of stolen memories as I entered. I closed the door behind me and rested myself against it, my heart and mind racing as a myriad of memories assaulted my brain. The house still smelt of cocoa and toast, the way it had always smelt.

  I walked down the hall, catching sight of the back door, just past the laundry. It was there I glimpsed a man sitting in a chair, his hunched, frail back to me. Tufts of snow white hair covered his head. He’d once had thick, light brown hair.

  Tears bit at my eyes, making my gaze blur momentarily, until I blinked them away.

  I decided on a quick rap against the back door with my knuckles as I entered the yard, so as not to scare him. But he didn’t move or flinch at the sound. I wondered if there was something wrong with his hearing.

  Nerves churned my stomach. I wasn’t sure I was ready to see the man my grandfather had become. The man I’d reduced him to. I should have come back sooner.

  Closing the door behind me, I came around to crouch in front of him. He sat slumped in the chair, a multi-coloured, crocheted blanket on his lap. The legs tucked beneath it seemed so small and skinny, and unused. The few memories I still possessed were filled with a strong man, the man who’d taken me to collect mussels on the day I’d nearly drowned.

  The man before me was only half the size. I briefly wondered if a different man would be sitting in front of me now, had Marko not chosen to “save me” and bring me to live with him in Marin.

  “Poppy,” I whispered, thinking I’d just stare at his sleeping form and leave, but my grandfather raised his head, blinked and focussed his brown eyes on me.

  I held my breath.

  For a long time he stared at me, his dark eyes blank as though nothing was in front of him, but eventually his eyes glazed over with tears and he blinked, his entire face coming to life.

  “Robert? My Robbie?” Tears pooled in his eyes and slid down his weathered cheeks. He reached out with feeble arms. “I knew you’d come back, boy. I knew.”

  “Yes, it’s me,” I croaked through my tears as I knelt forward so that my grandfather could wrap his arms around my shoulders. “I’m sorry,” I said, as I rested my face against his blanketed knees and felt his feeble body shake with heaving sobs. “I’m sorry for leaving.”

  Poppy patted my back for several minutes, then he wiped the hair out of my eyes and whispered, “It’s okay, Robbie. You came back. I always knew you’d come back to me. Sarah tells me I’m crazy. But she’s the crazy one because here you are. You’ve always been a good boy, my Robbie, always.”

  I raised my head but couldn’t meet my grandfather’s gaze because my clear sight had vanished. At least it had allowed me to see his face seconds ago. So instead I closed my dud eyes and rested my forehead on his lap and said, “I’ve missed you.”

  Poppy cleared his throat. “And I’ve missed you. I love you, my boy. I’ve never forgotten my little Robert.” He sobbed again and patted my back, his hand so light it was hardly there. “And now you’ve come back. Sarah is going to be so happy that you came back to stay with us for good.”

  12

  Miranda

  Dot stared at me, her eyes giving me a twice over. I’d just filled her in on the past few months. It appeared Marko had given his true identity. They’d checked him out and apart from the fact that he owned multiple properties all over the world, there was nothing suspect they could pin on him. Except that he’d been found living at my grandparents’ shack.

  “You sure you’re telling the truth, dear? I know you’re over eighteen now and old enough to have a fiancé and live your own life, but, your great-aunt insisted that something wasn’t right. She was the one who reported you all as missing.”

  So now I knew who’d raised the alarm bells. Good old Aunt Lynn who’d come to help look after Nana and Pop at the beginning of the year.

  “I’m telling the truth. Now please, I need you to release him.”

  Dot didn’t blink. Not even once.

  “You’d tell me if he was forcing you in any way or—”

  “He’s my fiancé.” I laughed, way too enthusiastically.

  “Oh, well, okay.” She nodded. “I’m glad to hear that. The sergeant has been grilling him. He’s taken a personal interest in your, let’s call it a ‘case’ even though now you’re not officially listed as mi
ssing anymore. You see, an officer in Sydney swore a girl who looked like you, but with different coloured hair and ID, came in questioning the dead body that recently washed ashore in Manly. That got the sergeant thinking about your family again so he paid a visit to your shack.” She reached over and touched a curl of my hair. “But I can see that your hair is the same, if not a little more stylish than the last time I saw you.” She sighed and spun in her chair. “Reg! Bring Marko out.”

  In a couple of minutes Marko came out with Reg. He dwarfed Reg with his height and broadness and as soon as he set eyes on me he let out a huge sigh of relief, as though he’d been holding it in the entire time I’d been away.

  Dot relayed my story, including the fact that I’d left Zoe’s number in case they needed to speak with her regarding my absence over the past forty-eight hours.

  Reg asked us to sit and wait while he spoke to Detective Lewis in Sydney. Over twenty minutes passed before he reappeared, scratching the back of his neck.

  “Sorry for the inconvenience. But I have to say that we’ll be in touch.” Reg glared hard at Marko. “I’d like to keep a close eye on Miranda while her grandparents are away.”

  Oh God no, I didn’t want them hanging around the shack.

  “I’m fine,” I said, smiling over gritted teeth. “I am eighteen after all. Marko and I just want some privacy, please.”

  Reg nodded, and, relaxing his face a little, turned to Marko. “Sorry for the inconvenience.”

  “It’s fine. I’m glad there are others who care for Miranda as much as I do.” He shook the man’s hand. Reg gave him a sharp nod and a pat on the back before offering me a tight smile and heading back down the corridor to his office.

  “Bye, Dot,” I said, offering her a smile.

  “Come see us sometime soon,” she said, while holding the glass door open for us. Marko followed me out.

  I could tell by the circles beneath his eyes that Marko hadn’t slept and that he’d most likely been worried sick about me the entire time I was away, as well as stressing about not being able to pick me up from the airport when I got back.

  When Dot closed the door behind us, Marko drew me into his arms and held me tight.

  “I’m sorry I didn’t come any sooner,” I whispered into his neck before tilting my head back to meet his gaze. “But she’s alive, Marko. Lauren’s alive.” I squeezed my arms around his waist. “I mean, the dead body... it wasn’t Lauren.”

  Marko sighed with relief and hugged me tighter. “I’m glad to hear it,” he whispered into my hair, before slinging an arm around my shoulder and casting his blinking eyes at the car-park in front of us. The late afternoon sun glinted off the windscreens of the parked vehicles.

  When we reached my hire car, we didn’t get in right away, but instead both leant against the bonnet, the sun against our backs as Marko listened carefully while I told him the whole Sydney story, and then about how I’d learned that he’d been taken in by the police.

  He drew me into his arms again and stroked my hair.

  “They actually invited me in for questioning and I went willingly. I was worried that if I didn’t they’d arrest me. But I was more worried about you in Sydney,” he said. “I worried how you’d take it if the body was Lauren’s. Then I worried that the police were going to lock me away and I wouldn’t be able to comfort you.”

  He shook his head and squeezed my hands tightly between his own and brought them to his lips. “I’m glad we’re together again.” His gaze was deep with emotion and he tilted his head forward so that he could press his lips to mine in a long, slow, and electrically charged kiss.

  Someone whistled from the backseat of a banged-up Datsun parked nearby and we drew apart, panting, and with grins on our faces.

  “We’d better go pick up our car so you can follow me back to the hire-car company. I think there’s a place in Bunbury where I can leave it for them to transfer back to the airport.”

  Marko nodded. “Let’s go.”

  We headed back to the shack, drove half-way down the track and stopped when it got too bumpy and the sand too soft for my hire car. I was scared I was going to bog it in the sand so Marko walked the rest of the way and got the 4-wheel drive and before long he was following me back onto the main highway to the rental office.

  After returning the hire-car and hopping into the passenger seat of Marko’s vehicle, he shot me a look that gave me butterflies and made my heart stutter.

  “Would you like to go somewhere for a late lunch or early dinner seeing as we’re already out? Or... we could go straight back to the shack.” The way he was looking at me, the way it was making my body buzz, I knew that the only place I wanted to be right now was at the shack, alone with Marko.

  He must have noticed something in my eyes, my desire to be alone with him, my desire to finally do it, because he raised his brows and swallowed thickly, a faint blush colouring his cheeks.

  “I’m taking it you want to go back to the shack?”

  “Yep.” I moved in closer, leaning over the gearstick before pressing my lips to his. I thought I’d lost him forever. To imagine what it would have been like showing up at the shack and not having him there... it just didn’t bear thinking about.

  I kissed him long and slow, but stopped when I realised I was delaying our time alone, back at the shack. After sliding back into my seat and buckling up, I threw a quick glance at Marko. The look of delirious lust, of almost helplessness, on Marko’s face made me smile.

  We didn’t say a word on the way back to the shack. My stomach was in full flutter mode and my heart thudded so loudly I was certain Marko could hear it.

  He seemed to tackle the bumpy track a little faster and more recklessly than usual and it was only when we pulled into the drive that he took a moment to breathe.

  It was evening now and the sun had set, casting an orange glow across Marko’s face and when he turned to face me his blue eyes glowed like fire instead of ice.

  “Are you sure you want to do this?”

  I reached across and squeezed his hand and nodded. “Yep,” I breathed out. “Pretty sure. You?”

  Instead of answering, he leaned over and kissed me, his mouth moving over mine with a tenderness that grew quickly into something more reckless and hungry, like he’d been starved of me.

  After a couple of minutes of this, he drew away, panting.

  “Wait there.”

  He got out, came around to my side of the vehicle and lifted me to my feet. He shut the door behind me and I leaned against the car, my heart beating madly against my ribcage as he brushed my hair away from my face. His pupils were large, his gaze intense.

  “If you’re unsure, we can wait. We don’t have to do this until you’re ready.”

  My cheeks burned with heat. “Umm, you’re going to give me a complex, soon.” I slipped my hands around his neck and stared deep into his eyes, my stomach doing flip flops the entire time. “Do you want to?”

  My cheeks were practically on fire at my own words and I wanted to bury my head in the sand as soon as I’d said them, but Marko swallowed thickly and pressed his face into my neck.

  “Oh, God yes, Miranda,” he groaned against my skin. “I’ve wanted to for a very, very long time.”

  He carried me towards the shack as though we were newlyweds, but tripped over the annexe rope before we got to the front door. We both fell, tumbling into the sand. I laughed so hard I had to put a hand to my stomach and beg him to stop laughing himself.

  So we tried again and this time Marko managed to get me to the door, unlock it, and nudge it open with his foot, all the while holding me in his arms.

  Kicking the door shut behind him, he carried me through the kitchen to the bedroom and laid me carefully on the double bed, the open curtains casting warm, golden light across my body. Unsure what to do with my fluttery hands, which were itching to touch him, I folded them across my stomach and just lay there staring up at him.

  He climbed over me and our lips met
in another greedy kiss, while our hands urgently explored each other’s bodies and frantically sought buttons and zips, as though we were both scared the moment would disappear any second.

  I couldn’t believe that it was finally happening. What I’d wanted for so long. There were no regrets as Marko helped me slide my jeans down over my hips. Nothing could stop us now.

  He moved over me and sucked in a sharp breath as I hooked my fingers around the belt loops of his jeans and began to tug them down. Touching the taut muscles of his lower belly and bare skin of his hips sent lightning-bolt thrills to my stomach.

  “Are you ready, Miranda,” he whispered low in my ears, before pressing his lips ever so gently to my neck.

  “Yes,” I whispered, running my hands up and down his hard biceps.

  “I’m so ready.”

  13

  Robbie

  Saying goodbye to my grandfather had been the hardest thing I’d ever done in my life.

  On the flight over to Perth, Lily kept reassuring me that no harm had been done, that he would forget by morning. But I could tell by the sound of her voice that she felt I’d made a mistake and that she felt guilty for having arranged the whole thing to begin with. She’d never seen me cry so much and it had shaken her.

  For the entire flight, no matter how hard Lily faked excitement over the variety of movies we could watch—that she could watch—or the “fun” miniature portions of food, I kept feeling the bite of regret. I also kept shivering. But it was more the cold, empty hollow I felt inside of me than the air-conditioning on the flight. It seemed nothing would cut through the sadness.

  In the end the only thing that snapped me out of it was the jolt of the plane as we touched down in Perth, and then finally, after paying a fellow passenger a large sum of money to drive us there from the airport, arriving at Bob’s Bay.

  Standing in front of Miranda’s grandparents’ shack, the Indian Ocean rushing against the shore behind us, somehow made England more of a dream than a reality. Perhaps I could pretend that it hadn’t happened and the guilt would die away.