Hugo and the Bird

by Jeff Mills

  Emma started to grizzle again.

  “Quiet!” shouted Barguff. “I’m trying to think.”

  Emma suddenly stopped crying and, with a sniff, turned her head away from Barguff.

  “How did you manage to free yourself last time?” Hugo asked Bird.

  “Well,” he replied, “if I am hungry then I shrink in size and vice-versa. I thought that if I exercised and kept turning invisible, then I would use up a lot of energy, which would make me thinner and I would be able to slip through the ropes. I was succeeding too, until that pesky little goblin came on the scene. Morgana has now tied me so tight that I can’t even wriggle, let alone exercise.”

  They stood, bound against the wall, in silence for several minutes until Emma whispered, almost to herself, “We could always get Puchy, the tooth fairy, to come and help.”

  “Out of the question!” Barguff replied mockingly. “What could that insignificant tooth fairy do? She can barely lift a tooth so how do you expect her to untie these stupid knots?”

  “I think that Barguff is right,” responded Bird.

  “I think it’s a good idea and, at the moment, can anyone think of a better one?” Hugo announced and turned and smiled at Emma. She gave a big grin as if to say ‘Thank you.’ but then went back to sulking, as even she had to admit that, even if Puchy would come, then she really was too small to do anything practical. Hugo looked at everyone in turn, seeing defeat in each of their eyes, then, with a loud in-drawing of breath he whispered as loudly as he dared. “Puchy, Puchy, Puchy.” Immediately everyone turned towards him angrily and Bird almost shouted,

  “What in the world are you doing? If she comes, then it’s almost certain that she’ll be captured as well, and then what are we going to do?” Hugo looked at the faces of Bird and Barguff, and immediately realised that what he had done was stupid. He was about to reply to their angry looks but then thought better of it. Feeling very embarrassed, he turned his head away from them to avoid their stares. He glanced across at Emma who gave him a forced smile which said, ‘Thanks for trying but it was a stupid idea anyway.’

  Minutes passed in silence, except for the noise of the constant wiggling of bodies against ropes in an effort to get comfortable and free themselves. Even this slowly subsided as each one in turn realised the hopelessness of the situation and became still, awaiting their inevitable fate.

  Suddenly, a faint wind brushed against Hugo’s face, and there, hovering in front of him, was Puchy.

  “Hello,” she squeaked. “I heard you call me and I thought that there must be something wrong, so here I am. What do you want me to do?” The others heard Puchy’s squeaky voice and immediately turned to see from where it was coming. In the near darkness they could barely see her but could just make out the soft buzzing of her wings as she continued to hover around Hugo’s head. Almost in unison the others whispered,

  “Puchy. Is that you?”

  “Hello everyone,” she gleefully whispered. “It’s so nice to see you all again.”

  “Enough of the pleasantries!” Barguff retorted. “Get us out of here and be quick about it, before that old crone gets back. Or that slimy goblin,” he added as an afterthought.

  Without wasting any more time, Puchy started to try to undo the ropes that held Hugo prisoner against the wall. She tried pulling, pushing and tearing at the ropes; she even tried using her tiny teeth to bite through the tar-impregnated bonds but to no avail. She was almost in tears with frustration when she finally slumped down on Hugo’s shoulder and whimpered into his ear that she could not do it. Everyone noticeably relaxed again after the excitement of the prospect of getting rescued. Puchy was now crying with frustration and exhaustion and at the thought that she could do nothing to help her friends.

  Suddenly Hugo stood up as straight as he could and with a creak of his ropes said,

  “I’ve got it!” Then, whispering something to Puchy sitting on his shoulder, she jumped up and flitted down to his trouser pocket. He tried to lean over so that it would be easier for her to get inside and as she wriggled deeper and deeper, he laughed.

  “What’s up with you?” Barguff whispered angrily.

  “It tickles,” chuckled Hugo.

  Barguff was about to reproach him, when suddenly, Puchy emerged from Hugo’s pocket. Wrapped in her arms was the Swiss Army knife that he had secreted there. The weight of the knife was causing Puchy to fly very erratically but after a few abortive attempts she managed to place it into Hugo’s right hand. Fortunately, both of his hands were tied together behind his back so that he was, with difficulty, able to open the small blade from within the red-cased handle. Very carefully, so as not to cut himself, he sawed at the ropes that held him fast.

  Chapter 9

  The Investigation

  The blue and white Ford Mondeo police patrol car skidded to a halt on the loose gravel outside the Gnome Reserve and two officers eased themselves out of the front seats. Slamming the car doors, they put on their distinctive caps and started up the drive to the scene of the crime.

  The elder and plumper of the two policemen turned to his colleague and said with a beaming smile,

  “Do think that we should report this to the Gnome Office?”

  His partner immediately responded and said, equally jokingly, “Naw, but if there are any casualties we can always send ’em off to the National Elf Service.” They grimaced, chuckled and marched, in step, up the drive to the reception area. As they pulled open the door, the frivolity disappeared and with a very serious tone the younger policeman announced to the three women and one man there that they were Sergeant Cummings and Detective Inspector Hyde. The seated four stood up and started to speak at once but Sergeant Cummings raised his hands and asked for silence.

  “Right now! Who’s in charge here?”

  One by one the four stopped talking and the owner moved forwards and said, in a still very unsteady voice,

  “I am, officer.”

  “Thank you, ma’am,” broke in D. I. Hyde and motioned her and the others to sit down. Sergeant Cummings took out a small note pad while his superior started to question them.

  After about twenty minutes, the detective said,

  “Right! Thank you very much. You have all been very helpful. Now I think that we should go and look at the scene of the crime. If you would like to lead the way ma’am.” He motioned the owner towards the door. The party moved out of the reception area and into the garden.

  As soon as they stepped outside and the policemen saw the devastation that surrounded them the D.I. said,

  “Stop right here. I think that you four would be better staying inside. After all, there may be some footprints or other clues left in the mud. We don’t want to risk anyone contaminating the scene now, do we? On second thoughts, I would be grateful if you will accompany us, ma’am, so that you can explain what exactly has happened and what has been done but on no circumstances touch anything. Do you understand?” He turned to the owner who nodded and, while the two assistants and the gardener retraced their steps back into the reception area, the two officers and the owner meandered along and around the various paths and scenes of the garden, Sergeant Cummings making copious notes in his little book as they went.

  Every now and then, one or other of the policemen would bend down to look at something more closely, followed by more copious notes in the book. As they neared their starting point, D.I. Hyde asked the owner if she had a cat or a dog of any sort.

  “Of course not!” she indignantly replied. “I would never hear the last of it from my family if I allowed those nasty animals into my garden. They’re very vicious, you know, and they would upset my family and force them to leave.” The policemen looked at each other and both cocked their eyebrows as if to say,

  ‘We’ve got a right nutter here.’

  “Why do you ask?” the owner carried on.

 
“Well,” said the more senior officer, “as we have been going around I have noticed several sets of footprints in the mud, which appear to be those of a dog or a very large cat. If something like that did get into your garden then it may be possible that the animal may have done the damage we see before us. However, I will get our forensics people to come over and check it out.”

  As he said this, he pointed to, what appeared to be, some very large padded footprints in the mud adjacent to where they were standing.

  The owner bent down herself and, adjusting her glasses, closely and carefully examined them. The officers then carried on back into the reception area followed by a very worried owner.

  After a further questioning of the two women and the gardener the policemen bade their farewells, assuring everyone that they would be hearing from them in the very near future. Turning, they left the building and slowly walked back to their patrol car.

  “If you ask me,” said Sargeant Cummings, “I reckon a large dog has got in there and smashed the place up, or else that gardener fellow was drunk and did it and is trying to put the blame on something or somebody else. Did you notice that empty brandy bottle on the table and he reeked of booze?”

  “I think that you may be right,” replied D. I. Hyde. “Now, I think that we’ll go gnome and get some elf from our friends.” Both men chuckled, threw their caps onto the back seat, eased themselves into the car and, with a spray of gravel from the back wheels, they drove off and onto their next assignment still grinning.

  Chapter 10

  Escape?

  “Ouch!” cried out Hugo.

  “What’s the matter?” Emma whispered.

  “I’ve just cut myself,” he replied, but carried on sawing at the ropes with his penknife. Suddenly there was quick movement from his arms as the strands of the bindings finally parted. Now that his hands were free, he quickly cut through the remaining coils until he was able to lift himself off the wall and stand before his friends, beaming from ear to ear.

  “Very good,” Bird whispered. “Quickly, free the rest of us.”

  Without further ado, and one by one, Hugo cut through the ropes of everyone but left Barguff till last to show him that he should not have doubted him and that, calling for the tooth fairy was a good, if not great, idea after all.

  They turned to move out of the cave back up the tunnel when Barguff ran in front of them and, with his arms out, mumbled,

  “What about my friends back there? We can’t leave them. The witch will kill them.” Bird turned and looked back into the darkness and to where he thought the captured gnomes were imprisoned.

  “Look, Barguff, I know that they are your friends and family but if we waste time trying to set them free now, then, more likely than not, Morgana will hear us and we will end up back in the situation we were in a few minutes ago. We need to get out of here first and then we can think up a plan to set them free.”

  With a hunch of his wings, Bird and the others pushed passed Barguff.

  Quietly, yet as quickly as they could, they started to exit the cave and head down the tunnel. As they went they could hear Barguff pleading with them to stop and help his friends. Approaching the tunnel entrance, Bird looked around, but Barguff was nowhere to be seen.

  A warm sunny day enveloped them as they emerged from their would-be prison.

  “That was too close for comfort,” sighed Hugo and looked around to where Puchy was now sitting. He noticed that it was on another big rock with a zig-zag pattern. He went up to her and holding out his forefinger he shook her hand and said, “We really are grateful to you for coming to our rescue. Without you, we would be still down in that terrible cave and I hate to think what would have happened to us if you hadn’t come.”

  It was at this point that Emma looked around and noticed that Barguff was missing and that Bird was looking very apprehensive.

  “Where’s Barguff? Has anyone seen Barguff?” she said excitedly.

  Bird answered, looking expectantly back up the tunnel. “He didn’t come out with us. He stayed behind to see if he could free his friends.” Just then an incredibly high-pitched scream of anger echoed through the tunnel, then all went silent.

  “We must go back and save him!” screamed Emma and turned towards the tunnel entrance. Bird stretched out his wing and stopped her. “We must go back,” she pleaded, almost crying.

  “No,” said Bird sympathetically. “You should never have been there in the first place and I am not prepared to put you and Hugo into any more danger. I could never forgive myself. Let’s go to Hugo’s house.”

  “Can’t you make yourself invisible and go and help him?” questioned Hugo.

  “I wish I could,” answered Bird, holding his wings around his middle, “but I need food to give me the energy to turn invisible and I haven’t eaten for a long time.” As if in agreement, Hugo’s stomach gave a huge gurgle. “Let’s go,” Bird announced and they turned and headed back down the path towards Hugo’s house.

  Before rounding the bend in the track, each one looked back at the entrance to the tunnel, wishing that there was something and some way they could help Barguff and his friends.

  * * *

  Morgana was absolutely livid with rage and frustration and limped around the cave as fast as she could, throwing everything she could lay her hands on at Barguff and anyone or anything else that got in her way. Snatch cringed in the corner behind a large copper oven, trying to make himself as small as he possibly could. Bragnar, the goblin, flitted overhead, trying to round up Barguff but also trying to avoid the missiles at the same time. Each of the gnomes, imprisoned in the wooden crates screamed and shouted, some with fear but most with encouragement for Barguff.

  “Go get ’em Bargy!” some were heard to shout while others yelled at the tops of their voices,

  “Kill the old hag!”

  The chase went on for several minutes until Barguff suddenly stopped moving. He tried to move his feet but they had become stuck fast to the floor, in what looked like a green ooze that was spreading out from a broken flask. Bragnar closed in, scurrying around to where Barguff stood, screaming,

  “Got you! Got you! Got you now! Mistress, over here! I’ve got him.” On hearing this, Snatch unfolded himself and carefully slinked over to where Barguff was fighting to free himself. He had already lost one of his boots in the thick gluey mess but in the process had lost his balance and put his unshod foot back in it. Sensing no further danger from the small gnome or the flying objects from his mistress, the cat let out a loud roar and stood behind Barguff, as if to prevent him getting away again but in reality it was the best place to be, in case he needed to make a quick getaway.

  Barguff continued to struggle to free himself but, with every movement, he became more and more embedded in the thick green gelatinous ooze. Eventually, totally exhausted, he stopped struggling and resigned himself to his inevitable fate. The other gnomes in their boxes had fallen silent as they could see that their hope of rescue had faded. Some of them started to cry, until Snatch gave a mighty roar and they fell silent again. Morgana, huffing and wheezing, slowly approached the stricken gnome, paying great attention to not also succumb to the green secretion that was, bit by bit, spreading further.

  Grasping the little man by the back of what had been his bright blue jacket but was now almost black from the soot and dirt it had accumulated while he was tied to the wall, and from the deposits from the bottles and jars that the witch had thrown at him, she tore him from the floor. Holding him up to her face and turning him so that they were eye to eye, she said, very quietly and calmly,

  “Well, well, well, we are an energetic little thing, aren’t we?” In a moment her voice suddenly rose to a high-pitched crescendo. “You stupid little minnow. You’ll pay for that. Do you hear me? You’ll really pay for that. Do you realise that, because of you, years of work have been destroyed?” She spun him arou
nd so that he could see the devastation and shook him as hard as she could so that his other boot fell off and landed back in the slime.

  Barguff was too exhausted to fight back; he just held on to his jacket and waited for the full fury of Morgana to fall on him when she had recovered. She limped over to where the boxes lay and roughly threw Barguff into one that was obviously too small, and hammered down the lid. To be extra sure, she piled one of the other crates on top, then, with a final flourish, she kicked the box and said gloatingly, “Let’s see you get out of that one my friend.”

  Wrapping her black cloak around her, she turned and shuffled back into the depths of the cave.

  When she was out of earshot, Bragnar flew down and flitted and danced in front of the crate containing Barguff and shouted jeeringly.

  “That’ll show you. You stupid idiot. I told you that we Bucca were better than you brainless gnomes.”

  Barguff was too tired to reply, but a small voice from the box next to his, who Barguff recognised as Hosper, sounded out and responded,

  “That’s what you think, you dirty traitor. When we get out of here, and believe me we will, we’ll get our own back and make you pay dearly.”

  The little goblin just laughed and said sneeringly,

  “Oh yes. I’ll believe that when I see it. You haven’t seen our army yet.” He also gave Barguff’s crate a kick, which because of his size was hardly noticeable to the occupant. He then turned and still laughing flew up and into the blackness of the roof.

  “What did he mean about the size of his army?” Hosper said to anyone who may be listening but since no one answered, he dropped the question and settled down as best he could back in the rough crate.

  * * *

  Hugo, Bird, Emma and Puchy were about two hundred metres from Hugo’s house when they saw someone coming towards them in the distance.