“I don’t know. My mother was a Master Destroyer and look at the damage she created. She killed my best friend. I don’t think I can be part of an organization like that. Even though you saved me from this house. I know you are simply trying to do damage control. I don’t know if I can love you when you are like that. Puck tried to become a Destroyer once and it scared the snot out of me. I’m not a Destroyer. I never have been. I’ve always been a Guardian. It is not in my nature to hurt others. It’s not fair of you to force this decision upon me tonight. I won’t go with you.”
Kai turned instantly cool. “Fine. Enjoy your life with Puck. I’m not sure I’ll be back.”
He turned and disappeared into the woods.
“Wait,” I cried. “Wait, I do love you.” But he didn’t answer. I ran into the woods, but I couldn’t find him. He had disappeared. I sank to my knees under the cover of the trees. The leaves scratched at my legs. Tears streamed down my face and I fought back sobs. I could feel the ticks and bugs crawling on my legs, but I didn’t care. The only thing I cared about at that moment was that Kai was gone. And he wouldn’t ever be coming back for me.
Depressed, I made my way back to the house.
“Oh, thank goodness,” said Ginny. “We thought you’d left with Kai.”
I shook my head and tried to force a smile, but instead the tears came. Puck reached me before Ginny did and enfolded me into his arms. I cried into his shoulder for a good half hour. When I finally found the ability to look at him, he smiled and kissed me on the forehead.
“Come on,” he said. “Let’s go home.”
As we drove out of the driveway I looked back at the charred remains of my greenhouse. Poking out of a broken window was a splash of pink. A budding rose.
Heartache. I hoped to avoid it. I never grow them. I suppose now, I should order a few. The pink blooms will fit well in the little greenhouse Alejandro gave me.
I DIDN’T COME OUT OF MY ROOM for a week. Except on Wednesday when Ginny dragged me to Rita’s to fix my hair. She did a cute pixie cut and dyed it black with a streak of red. It looked fantastic and the red matched my manicure.
On the way back from Rita’s Ginny brought up Grandma. “Why do you think my mom never told me about any of this?”
I shrugged. “Probably to protect you. Did you see what my mother did? You are just a normal human being, she didn’t want you targeted.”
Ginny nodded, lost in her own thoughts.
I didn’t think I was capable of crying so much. I missed Kai and unlike last time, when I thought we’d be together again in a few months, this time I knew I’d never see him again. At the same time I was angry because he put me in this position. He forced me to make a decision. One that I wasn’t ready to face and now I had to live with it. Regret tastes bitter.
On Saturday Puck came to visit me. This time Ginny let him in.
“You are not going to lay in here and pout for the rest of your life,” she said when she opened my door. Puck shut it behind him and sat on the edge of the bed. I had such a powerful episode of déjà vu that the tears started again.
“Look, you don’t know Kai very well, but I did live with him for thirteen years. He’ll be back.”
I looked up at him from between pillows.
“How do you know?” I asked, a little too bitterly.
“Because Kai is passionate and impulsive, but he never lets go of something he loves. Look at how doggedly he pursued your mother for killing our father. He’s more powerful than me. He knows what he’s doing. The only reason he was trying to force a decision on you is because he wanted you there with him. He doesn’t need you.”
“Why are you telling me this?”
“Because I don’t want you to be sad.”
I sat up.
“But what if he doesn’t come back?” I asked.
“He will. Trust me. He won’t let me win this one without a fight. But now that I’ve brought that up, you do know that I care very much for you, right? That I don’t really want him to come back. I only have a year to convince you to love me instead of him. I can’t do that if you never leave your bed. Well, I suppose that could be fun too.” He turned and crawled across my bed toward me, a wicked glint in his eyes.
I threw my pillow at him.
“Oh, you don’t want to start that.” He threw the pillow back with such force that it knocked me backward. He pounced and tickled me. I laughed for the first time in two weeks.
“Come on,” he said. “Let’s get out of here. Ginny is in the living room surrounded by twenty wedding dresses. You need to help her.”
Making a choice among roses is always tough because they are so many good ones. Rose growers constantly argue over the best breed. Tonight I had a choice to make, a Kaiser Wilhelm or a Tuscany Superb. The choice was hard.
THE WEDDING WAS HELD ON a gorgeous fall evening on a beach near San Diego. Ginny looked radiant and Alejandro beamed. Ginny staggered when he kissed her and I blushed, causing Puck to chuckle. The waves crashed behind them, and I was reminded of the day Puck took me surfing.
I danced the night away. Mostly with Puck, but I made my way around Alejandro’s minor Guardians. Most of them were afraid of me now. Alejandro told them the real story. They still didn’t know that Puck was the Master Guardian, and it made me giggle every time they insulted him. Jason never returned, the snitch. He worked for Kai now.
Life was peaceful. I took out my phone and debated calling my father, but why ruin a nearly perfect evening? After that night, he and my mother had been shipped off to different mental hospitals. Whatever she’d done to him had messed him up pretty bad. He still didn’t know who I was half the time when I called.
A finger tapped me on the shoulder. “Would you care to dance?”
I spun around. “Kai!” I gasped and covered my mouth.
He smiled. “Nice to see you too. Will you dance with me?”
I nodded and he took me in his arms. I rested my face against his chest, smiling. We danced for a couple of songs without speaking. Then I looked up at him.
“Should I be dancing with you? Isn’t this like fraternizing with the enemy?”
He shrugged.
Over the last several weeks I had learned a lot about the Guardians and the Destroyers. Puck was a wonderful teacher. He avoided the subject of Kai at all costs. Puck seemed a little scared of the things I could do.
“Have you come back?” I asked.
He shook his head.
“I actually came to apologize. I put you in a horrible place that night and it wasn’t fair of me. Plus, I missed you. Being the Master Destroyer is lonely. The Destroyers are all angry with me for imposing the old rules. I feel like every time I go out someone is going to kill me. It may happen, but I wanted to see you one more time and tell you that I love you.”
My heart fluttered and I looked up at him. His eyes glittered and he smiled. He still looked as handsome as I remembered. His face was so close to mine. I remembered all those nights in my room when all I wanted was to see his face when I kissed him. I closed the distance and felt his lips meet mine.
A soft melody floated in my ears and I knew that it wasn’t from the band. His kiss tasted of sugar and cinnamon and I knew at that moment that even though he was the Master Destroyer he was still good. Still mine.
“Is the offer to go with you still open?” I asked.
He tensed in my arms. “Yes.”
“If I go, can I still have roses? They will help keep us both balanced.”
He breathed out. “Of course, anything, Naomi, you can have anything if you’ll come with me.”
I broke away from him and looked back at the dance floor. Puck was dancing with Ricki and she was flirting shamelessly. He looked up and I caught his eye. His eyes widened when he realized who I was with. And then it really dawned on me. They were brothers. One the Master Guardian. One the Master Destroyer. They should be working together and yet, here they were enemies. My heart saddened by this revelation
. But Kai’s kiss told me that things would work out. He was still good.
My eyes bore into Puck. I wanted to ask him a question. A question he would understand by just looking at me. He nodded once.
“Let’s go.”
Copyright © 2014 by Kimberly Loth All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, distributed, stored in or introduced in any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical without express permission of the author, except by a reviewer who may quote brief passages for review purposes.
This is a work of fiction. The characters, incidents, and dialogues, in the is book are of the author’s imagination and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events or persons, living or dead is completely coincidental.
Cover design by Robin Ludwig
For Xandi and A.J.
For being the best kids a mom could ask for
THREE WEEKS BEFORE GINNY’S WEDDING
When I left my quiet home in Arkansas I knew I wouldn’t miss much. Especially since most of the ones I loved were dead. My Collette, Granada, Child’s Play, and my Angel Face rose. Gone up in flames. My heart ached most for my Kaiser Wilhelm. The deep red blooms that smelled like strawberries and pears. Now all that was left was ash.
THE BEACH BONFIRE WAS TALLER than my head. The déjà vu sent shivers down my spine. I closed my eyes and recalled my greenhouse in flames. My dad stood there, gasoline can in hand. With the greenhouse gone, I had no reason to ever set foot in that state again. Which was fine by me. The whole state could go up in flames and I wouldn’t care.
The ocean roared behind me. This is where I was meant to be. I closed my eyes, inhaled the salty, smoky air, and forgot all about Arkansas. A hand touched my shoulder. I jumped.
“Naomi, do you think it’s big enough?” Puck asked, a huge smile on his face. His sky blue hair hung over his eyes.
“I thought this was supposed to be a secret meeting. That fire will alert every Guardian and Destroyer in the state of California.” I shifted closer to him, inhaling his sweet ocean scent. He’d been surfing earlier.
Puck laughed and grabbed my hand. “Come on, let’s go down by the water. We’ve got some time before the rest of the group shows up.”
I stumbled after him, grinning. The water was cool on my feet. Puck pulled me close and kissed me, tasting of sugar cookies and cinnamon. A Guardian’s kiss. They were different from normal kisses, bringing heightened sensations. All Guardian energy was like that. Sweet and soft and warm. Sometimes I could even smell coconuts. I could give off the sensations myself, but I was still new to exercising the power. Puck did it without thinking.
Tonight I would meet the entire Guardian Council, and they would decide whether or not I could become one of them. The idea of a girl as Guardian was still a little taboo. In fact, in the last two hundred years there have been only two female Guardians, one of which was my grandmother. Both of them were dead now, and most Guardians didn’t know they ever existed.
I was still a Shade, which meant that I had power but I hadn’t chosen whether to use it for good or evil. Guardian energy was warm and heady, easy to feel and even use occasionally. But it wasn’t with me all the time.
I wanted to become one of them, I really did, but I also held dark secrets. Things I did. Destroyer type of things.
Aside from Puck, none of the other Guardians knew I had the ability to take away power. Not that I’d ever do it again. Three months ago I took the power from Dwayne and my mother, and now it wouldn’t go away. Their dark and cloudy Destroyer energy swam through my veins, punishing me for my actions. Dwayne and my mother hummed with power and almost made me forget my own.
I told no one that they still remained with me, not even Puck, which added to the guilt. He was always honest with me.
He’d sensed something was wrong shortly after we arrived in Vegas, but he never brought it up after I let him kiss me. That was the day I realized he was the one I wanted. Not Kai. Puck held my heart. We’d been practically inseparable since that day and I had no plans to change that anytime soon.
“You nervous?” he asked.
“A little.” I stretched up on my tiptoes and bounced a little, the sand giving way under my feet.
“You’ll be fine,” said a voice behind Puck. “Now come here and give your uncle a kiss.” He oozed honey and mint, true affection. I wasn’t sure what Alejandro was more excited about, getting me as a niece or Ginny as a wife. He hadn’t called me by my real name in weeks, just “niece.”
I kissed him on the cheek, sending him the smell of oranges, another sign of affection. He winked at me. “You’re getting better at that.”
Cars pulled onto the beach and doors slammed. Puck went to greet the council members leaving Alejandro by the water with me. A cool breeze blew, making me shiver.
I twisted my hands. “Do you think they’ll be okay with me?”
He shrugged and stretched his arms up over his head. If I were ten years older, I probably would’ve sighed at his obvious display of lean muscle, but this was my soon-to-be uncle. Ew.
“You’ve got Puck and me. We can be pretty convincing. Plus, with Puck being the Master Guardian, it’s not like they can say no.”
We watched as the men pulled out lawn chairs and formed a circle by the fire. When they were seated, Alejandro and I joined the circle. Most of the men looked to be around Alejandro’s age, thirty or so, but a few were older. Puck was by far the youngest. I knew none of them.
The power that radiated from the group was almost paralyzing. It was bright like the sun and it made my limbs vibrate. It filled the whole space. I reached for Puck’s hand and noticed my own was shaking.
“Are you okay?” asked Puck.
“Yeah, the energy is a little overwhelming.”
An older man with a weathered face leaned close to me. “You mean you can sense it?”
“Yeah? So?” I asked, surprised. Puck and I should’ve been more careful in our conversation.
He smiled. “You’re shaking. You’re a woman, so you shouldn’t be able to sense it.”
I bristled. “Just because I’m a girl doesn’t mean I can’t sense the same things you do.”
“There are no female Shades. You seem more sensitive than most of us. I’ve never seen anyone physically affected by the power of others.”
I picked up some sand and let it fall through my fingers. “Maybe. But I can’t sense any power on you, what are you doing here?”
He grinned. “I’ve perfected the art of shields.”
I nodded. That made sense. “So have I.”
He raised his eyebrows and the conversation around us grew very quiet. I hadn’t noticed the others were listening. No one said anything for a few minutes. They just stared at Puck and me. I was a girl. And I just told them I was a Shade.
An older man with graying hair and glasses cleared his throat. “This is a council meeting, right?”
Puck nodded.
“Then why is the girl here?”
Alejandro looked down at Puck. “You haven’t told them.”
Puck shrugged. “I figured I could explain it better if she were here.”
“That wasn’t wise, chico. You better get explaining.”
I continued to play with the sand, forming little mountains, while Puck told our tale.
“Naomi met Kai last year. He discovered that she was a Shade and sent her to us. Naomi’s mother and grandmother were both Shades. Her mother decided to become a Destroyer, while her grandmother was a Guardian. The Master Guardian, actually.”
A few of the Guardians whistled. One called out, “What the hell?”
The man on the other side of me spoke, “It’s true, I was on her council.”
I froze. This man knew my grandmother. She died a long time ago. I still missed her.
Another man called out, “What about the Destroyer?”
Puck conti
nued. “Naomi’s mother became the Master Destroyer a couple of years later. She was killed last year by Kai. Naomi helped Kai secure his position as the Master Destroyer so he could bring balance back. She’s a very strong Shade.”
My palms were sweating and shaking a little, but that was from nerves, not the power of those around me. I didn’t look up, because I was sure they would all be staring at me. Puck left out the fact that I could suck their power away if I wanted to. We agreed to keep that part secret. Thank goodness.
The old man next to me spoke again. “Your grandmother was a great woman.”
I looked up, surprised to have been addressed directly during the meeting.
“Thank you,” I replied.
He nodded. “My name is Neal. Welcome to the council. I, for one, am looking forward to your input.”
I looked around the circle. There were a few nods and then the slow buzz of conversation started up again. I listened carefully but didn’t hear my name. Next to me, Puck let out a deep breath.
“That wasn’t so bad, was it?”
“No.” Yes, but I smiled at him anyway. “Does that mean I get to be a Guardian?”
Puck grinned. “Yep. We can take care of the logistics of turning you into a Guardian privately though, I just wanted their approval.” My chest tightened.
“But they never actually gave their approval.”
“Yes, they did. You wouldn’t still be here if they didn’t think you were okay.”
“But is it okay that I stay for the council meeting? I can take a walk down the beach.”
“No, stay. As far as I’m concerned, you’ll be part of my council.”
I was touched but not surprised. I sat back and listened as they talked about the day-to-day lives of most Guardians and the problems they were facing. Some issues were small, like a few Major Guardians bickering over territories. Other problems left me feeling sick, like the Major Guardian over St. Louis turning into a Destroyer and taking his entire group of Minor Guardians with him. He ruled for months before the Midwest Head Guardian discovered it and told the council.
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