“What are you talking about?” she grunts back.
“I’m not having that shit. You run your ass off if you want. I grantee you, I’ll be right on your ass. You don’t have to hurt people for them to let you go when it means bettering yourself,” I reply.
“You don’t understand,” she pleads.
“Bullshit,” I snort. “I want this for you as much as you want it for yourself. Don’t try to make this into something it’s not. This isn’t one of your books. I’m a real man.” I point to my chest.
“I know how to let you go follow your dreams. If you want me to help with Dashawn, I’m here for that shit all day. If not, I’ll support you taking him with you,” I pause to get in front of her, ducking to be face to face with her.
“For keeps, Kaye. I’ll be here waiting for you as long as I have to. I love you and need you as much as my next breath. I’ve told you before. I’m not your father. Stop trying to treat me like I am.
“You fight with me, fine, but before we go to bed we’re making up and fucking. Simple as that. There’s no silent treatment for three years or the year you’re away becoming an amazing filmmaker. Don’t even try it,” I hiss and cup the back of her neck.
I crush my lips to hers and show all the love I have for her. I can taste her tears on my tongue, driving me to kiss her deeper. I know Kaye better than she knows herself.
“I love you,” I say against her lips. “We’ll never sacrifice us. We don’t have to. We’ll make this work.”
“Okay,” she nods, her fingers clinging to the collar of my shirt. “Okay, you’re right.”
“I know I am,” I tease. “Now come here. We need to make up for all the time we’ll be missing each other.”
* * *
Kaye
He is gorgeous when he sleeps. Reaching to brush a lock of hair from his forehead, I smile down at him. I don’t know what I was thinking earlier.
I figured it would be easier if…I don’t know. Felix is right. I tried to fall back on a bad habit that’s childish.
This is going to hurt as it is. If I would have succeeded at hurting us both, I don’t think I would have made it a month much less a year. We both deserve better.
Please wait for me, Felix. I’ll be back. I promise.
Those are my last thoughts before I snuggle into his side and pass out. I fall asleep trusting my man. Like he said, we’ll make this work.
Chapter 38
Cancel
Kaye
One week later…
I’m wary of using my cell for business calls after how things turned out with Bonnie. She’s still calling my phone at all hours. I haven’t told Felix. He would flip out.
I think he’s stressed out enough. I know Dae-Dae and I leaving has been a big blow, but I can’t help feeling like there’s something else going on. He keeps telling me that everything is fine, but I don’t believe that.
I almost talked myself out of doing this. I saw the look on his face when I found out I had a week to make the move. This has been so hard on everyone.
I had to do things so quickly. Felix handled a lot of the details, but there was still so much for me to do. Dean offered to come along before I could ask. She had already wanted to make a change and this was right up her alley.
The best surprise was Connie’s call to let me know she would be in Ireland. For some reason that made it easy to breathe again. I made it through telling my parents and explaining to them that I wasn’t going to leave Dashawn behind.
My dad was upset. I knew he would be. He glared at Felix the entire time as if Felix was supposed to make me change my mind. In the end, both of my parents gave their blessings and offered to come help out anytime I needed.
I got all of that squared away, but I totally forget to contact Lisa. There is no way I’m making that book tour. At this point, I just want to deal with Lisa. I’ll let her know I can’t make it and that will be that.
Making the call through my google line, I wait for someone to pick up. Dae-Dae and Felix are at Felix’s grandmother’s house. Connie is here with me, helping me to get settled in while one of Felix’s uncles made the trip to pick up Dean.
“Hello,” a voice finally says on the other end.
“Hi. May I speak to Lisa, please,” I reply.
“This is she.”
“Oh, great. This is Kaye Blaze, the author.”
“Hi! It’s so nice to hear your voice. You are such a talented author. I truly enjoy reading your books,” she says.
“Thank you. Thank you so much. I was calling because I needed to inform you guys that I won’t be able to make the book tour,” I say.
There is an awkward pause on the other end. I bite the pad of my thumb. I truly hate to disappoint her and the fans. There is just no way I’ll be able to get back and not for that many days.
“I’m sorry, Kaye. The tour was cancelled months ago. I thought you were informed. You should have received your twenty-five dollars back by now,” she says nervously.
My head whips back. I look at the phone like I can see her and gauge if she’s crazy. First, I’ve been pushing the event and I’ve seen posts about it. Second, I paid a lot more than twenty-five dollars.
I put the phone back to my ear and start to count backwards. I can feel I’m about to get placed in the middle of some mess. I don’t need this right now. I have to report to work in the morning and Felix flies back to the States tomorrow night.
“I truly am sorry. I haven’t been on social media much so I didn’t make the announcement. I had a fire in my home and my laptop was ruined. Then, there were a few other issues. Bonnie promised she’d take care of everything,” she continues.
As I said, this is my first time talking to Lisa. We’ve emailed once. I don’t know what’s going on or what to believe at this point. I’m so pissed off. I know the last thing I need to do is to get caught up in this.
“Okay, well, thank you for your time,” I say. “You have a good one.”
“Yes, okay, thank you,” she says still sounding uneasy.
Twenty-five dollars? Ain’t this about a—. Calm your nerves Kaye.
* * *
Felix
It’s always great spending time in Ireland with my family. I can’t begin to tell you how relieved I was when I found out they would be producing the film not far from my family. I was able to take the reins and set things up for Kaye and Dashawn.
Yes, there are cams all over the cottage. Carrick took care of that for me. That will allow me to breathe easier.
Connie has been in Ireland a lot lately. When I reached out and told her Kaye would be here she was ecstatic. Granted she’s much further out, but still within driving distance.
This will be okay. It’s just a year. I’ll be on a plane to come see them every chance I get.
Too bad I haven’t been able to convince myself of my own words. I haven’t slept well since Kaye made the announcement that this all had to be done in a week. Contracts were signed, the house was packed up and rented out, Kaye and Dae-Dae spent their last days in the States with me in my apartment.
That place is going to feel so lonely without them. I’ve been toying with selling the place. We already have a home waiting for us when Kaye comes back home. It was a part of her engagement gift.
My chest hurts when I think of the ring in my top drawer back home. Temptation almost caused me to place it on her finger. However, I’ve been watching Kaye watch me. She’s been waiting for a reason to back out of this.
I’m not giving her one. She’s going to see her dreams come true and then she can come home. I’ll be there waiting.
“Hey you,” I hear her sweet voice come up behind me.
I’ve been standing out here looking over the view, while she put Dae-Dae to bed. My grandmother spoiled us with food and attention. Dashawn wore himself out trying to hang with the big guys.
“Did Dean get settled in?” I ask, pulling her into my arms.
Kaye laughs, throwi
ng her head back. She looks gorgeous. I’ve thought about extending my stay a few times, but the office is already short staffed. Wyatt and Noah have been out on assignment for going on two months.
“She’s not here. She took off with your uncle and Connie,” Kaye giggles. “I think your uncle has a thing for my friend.”
“Uncle Ronan has a thing for women, period. You’d be doing your friend a favor by telling her to leave him alone,” I warn.
“She’s a big girl. She’ll be okay,” she says. “This place is great. I think Dae-Dae will enjoy it here.”
“Yeah, we loved coming here when we were little. Some of our best memories come from visits to my grandmother,” I reply.
“Is it weird that hearing that makes me feel like we’ll be closer to you?”
“Not at all. I’m glad things worked out for you to be here. There are some shitty areas that I wouldn’t have been too happy about,” I murmur.
“Thank you, Felix. Thanks for always being there,” she says.
“I’ll always be here when you need. I mean it, Kaye. If you need me, you tell me.”
“We’ll be fine,” she says with a small smile.
“You’re amazing. This is going to be awesome for you. It’ll go by faster than you know,” I promise.
“I’ll be counting down,” she gives a small chuckle.
“That makes two of us. You’ll be back home before you know it.”
“Just a year. Nothing to it. What could happen in a year right?” She asks nervously.
I groan internally. As a PI, I know those are famous last words. All hell has broken to those words more often than not.
I don’t say that to Kaye though. I cover her lips with mine and kiss her like it’s my last. I’m going to miss her soft lips.
Next, week. Next week I’ll try to make it back.
Chapter 39
BFF
Kaye
People are so grimy. I can’t believe the screenwriter they hired on this project tried to throw me under the bus. Like, who does that? I’m fuming.
I didn’t sign up for this BS. If I wasn’t under contract, I’d be ghost. That asshole Rodney has been getting on my last nerve. He makes the dumbest changes to the screenplay and then blames me for being an amateur. I’m tired of it.
I’ve been pacing for the last ten minutes. I want to call Felix but between the time difference and all the things that have been going on with Nellie back home, I don’t want to bother him.
Felix was so upset while Nellie was in the hospital. Hearing the tension in his voice had me ready to get on a plane and go back home. I sort of wish I had.
So much is going on is Felix’s life and I want to be there for him. He’s an uncle now. I think getting to spend time with the twins has soothed how much his misses Dae-Dae.
Dae-Dae on the other hand isn’t adjusting the same. It’s killing me. We’re both miserable. Connie said she would come by and take him to meet a new friend. Dean is doing her best, but she’s not totally sold on kids. She’s great to Dae-Dae, but I think they’re both over each other.
Of course Felix and his brothers have fond memories of being here. They had family, cousins that were their age to play with. I feel so foolish for dragging Dae-Dae here thinking it would be so great for him.
I think I rushed into this. It seems like I always rush into things that I should spend more time thinking about. I start to fume more when I think about my conversation with Lisa.
I still haven’t gotten to the bottom of that. At this point, I don’t even care. I’m glad I dodged that train wreck.
However, this! This mess I’m dealing with at the moment has me seeing red. I’m so frustrated.
You should send him back home with mom and dad.
I start to rub my temples. I’ve had that thought a lot over the last few weeks. Knowing that Toby has little ones closer to Dae-Dae’s age. Then the children at the church.
Am I being selfish?
I feel like it. Wanting Dae-Dae here with me, wanting this movie, I went as far as dragging a friend here with me. Me, me, me—that’s how this is all starting to feel.
I should just pick us all up and go home. Maybe, just maybe I chased one dream too many. Heck, I don’t even know if they’ve picked a cast worthy of my book. The actors all start to arrive on location today.
Yet, that jerk is making a mockery of my book. Well, wait, let me say that part right. He is making a mockery of my book only to turn around and present my ideas and suggestions when getting called out on the BS he tries to pass off.
Lord, give me strength. Please show me the right thing to do.
I’m about to explode. I need to get this off my chest before I punch a hole through something. Mainly Rodney’s stupid face.
I snatch my phone from my pocket and pull up my social media profile. I don’t normally rant about my personal life on here so I keep it short and sweet. Enough to get it off my chest but not get into details. That’s all I need.
I value trust, but I know it’s not deserved by all.
I post the message and feel a fraction better. Although, ranting a full out page about this trip and working with that jerk would totally feel better. I miss my man.
“Hello there, Lass,” I turn to the sound of a deep timbered voice.
I have to tip my head back to get a look at the source of the voice. Blue green eyes are staring back at me from underneath thick amber brows. His face is covered in a full beard, but I can see the curve of his full lips.
Holy Cow! This better be my Tristan.
Tristan is the main character in the book and this guy nails him one hundred and fifty percent. The height, the broad shoulder, his accent—he is perfect for the role. Just wow!
“Hi,” I reply when my thoughts stop rambling.
“You’re the author, aye? Kaye?” he says.
“Yes, that’s me,” I nod.
“Grand, nice to meet you. I spent some time in the States while a young lad. I’ll be honest. I think I fell in love with your characters. Makes me want to go back there to see if I can find that kind of love,” he rumbles out.
“You read my book?” I ask with my brows knitted.
“Aye, I’ve read them all. Started with the one for the movie and couldn’t stop there. Och, where are my manners. I’m Jacob McTavish, I’ll be playing Tristan.”
“Yes!” I woot before I can catch myself.
I clamp my hands over my mouth. I want to crawl into myself. My face flames. I wish the floor would open and swallow me now.
“I haven’t gotten that kind of reaction in a long time. Maybe there’s something to dating American woman,” he teases.
“I’m so sorry. This has been the last few days from hell and I’ve been so worried about casting. They were being so tight lipped about your role,” I try to explain.
“Dinna fash yersel’, lass,” he chuckles. “That would be my own fault. I wasn’t sure I’d make it in for the part until the last minute. I just made the trip over from Scotland.”
“It’s nice to meet you, Jacob,” I hold my hand out, finally giving a proper greeting.
“You’ve already made the trip worth it. I’m a huge fan. I think we’ll be good friends,” he says with a wink, shaking my small hand in his. “You’ve already made this Scot feel welcome in this sea of Irishman.”
“I guess that’s because I’m in love with an Irish-Scot. I get the best of both worlds and can hang with the best them,” I reply to make sure he knows I’m taken.
“Och, should have knew a beauty like you would be taken. I’ll still take the friendship anyway. Rumor has it you have a lad my son and daughter’s age. That’s what made my decision. The producer promised there’d be a nanny for the three,” he says.
“Really?”
This is the first I’m hearing of this. I thought no one was listening when I asked about daycare or something for my son. If they truly bring in a nanny that will be some time and stress off of Dean.
&nb
sp; “Aye, wasn’t making the trip without them,” he says firmly, all humor gone.
“Where’s their mom?”
“You’ll have to let me take you to lunch for that story,” he says, his smile returning.
I eye him warily. When I see Rodney heading our way, I grab Jacob’s hand and take off in the other direction. I’m not ready to be around that jerk again just yet.
* * *
A Fan
I’ve read Kaye’s post over and over again. That fucking Lisa ruined everything. I know she went running to Kaye like she did the others.
They’ve all been asking for their money back. I had to create a second account and blocked most of them on the other one. I don’t have that money to give back. If Lisa wasn’t such a whiny bitch I wouldn’t have to give any of it back in the first place.
I would have made things work. It would have been just fine. So what her life was falling apart. I would have handled things. Now look!
I value trust, but I know it’s not deserved by all.
“You can trust me!” I shout at the computer.
I start to pace the room. Kaye was my ace in the hole. Her career is taking off. I could make so many things happen for myself through her.
“You can trust me! You didn’t have to take this to social media and tell our business to the world! You could’ve come to me! We’re friends. You should’ve come to me!”
My neighbor bangs on the wall. Fuck them, I hate them and their smelly dog. He’s always barking at my cat.
Well, when I had a cat. Mr. Pennies hasn’t been home in weeks. Everyone tries to leave me. Everyone except my book boos. They never leave.
“And they don’t talk about me on the internet!” I shake my fist at the computer screen.
Brothers Black 5: Felix the Watch Page 25