A Home at Honeysuckle Farm

by Christie Barlow

  ‘I know how she died. I read the newspaper article.’

  I could see him take a deep breath. ‘Is that the first you knew of it?’

  I nodded. ‘Why did no one tell me?’

  ‘I suppose we muddled through. The events of that night still haunt me, and you were only a little girl, but I’m sorry you found out this way.’

  I nodded. ‘Maybe that was the same for Mum too. She’s never spoken to me about it at all.’ I took a breath. ‘Connie has just told me that I share the same birthday with Grandma too. I never knew that either.’

  ‘You do … that date became doubly painful once you’d left.’

  I couldn’t imagine what he’d gone through each year, the grief of losing Grandma then the pain of losing me.

  I shook my head. ‘But this is what I don’t understand. Shouldn’t this have brought you and Mum closer together?’ I swallowed. I knew I was pressing him but now he’d begun to open up about Mum a little, I needed to ask.

  He dabbed his eyes once more and looked like he’d swallowed a large lump in his throat.

  His voice was shaky, ‘There was a time when Connie and I were so worried that Rose would suffer a miscarriage – her weight plummeted with grief. Rose and Florrie were close you see, they had a special mother-and-daughter bond. But luckily for us you got here safe and sound,’ he placed his hand on my knee. ‘You brought hope back to us, new love. It was you who gave me the strength to start living again.’

  ‘And Mum?’ I pressed the conversation again.

  ‘We were very close when you were born,’ was all Grandie offered.

  ‘It sounds like you both helped each other get through this,’ I added softly.

  He nodded. ‘The whole community was affected. Over the years, Florrie and your mum taught so many children and adults to dance in the village. Flowers stretched for miles and miles outside the entrance of Honeysuckle Farm. The children from the dance school all hung their ballet shoes on the gates, it was heart-breaking for everyone. You’d have thought she was royalty,’ he added, giving a small chuckle. ‘She touched the hearts of many families around here.’

  ‘I only wish I had the chance to spend time with her.’

  He nodded his understanding. ‘You are very much like her, the same striking blue eyes, beautiful and kind.’ He paused and took a deep breath, and his voice wavered. ‘Your grandma would have been so proud of you, just like I am. Re-open the dance school, Alice. It’s been closed far too long and I’m not getting any younger.’

  The tears were now rolling down my cheeks. ‘But … but what if I can’t do it? What if I let you down?’

  He raised his eyebrows.

  ‘I may not be good enough to step into your shoes, Grandma’s shoes, or Mum’s, for that matter.’ Self-doubt oozed out of my every pore.

  ‘You are a gem Alice, and you just need the chance to be polished so you can shine brighter and brighter. This could be your calling. Open up the school, the whole community will be behind you.’

  ‘I’m so tempted, but you know the dilemma I’m in.’

  He remained silent, but his eyes were earnest.

  It was time to bite the bullet while I had his full attention.

  ‘What if I could persuade Mum to come back to Brook Bridge, put the last thirteen years behind you both? We could open the dance school together, as a team … a family.’ As far as I could see, there was nothing keeping her in New York. ‘What do you think?’

  He shook his head. ‘Your mum would never come back.’

  I bit down on my lip. ‘Why did it go wrong? Why did we leave for New York? What happened between you?’

  The question hung in the air.

  ‘That is something you’ll have to ask her.’

  ‘But I’m asking you. How can I make a decision on my future without knowing all the facts?’

  ‘All I can tell you is that this place is your home, you belong here, and you have all this waiting for you.’

  Technically, I knew this wasn’t all mine. This should be Mum’s inheritance. Grandie was asking a hell of a lot, basically telling me to cut ties with her. Their argument wasn’t my argument. Surely they could both understand that, but how could I be disloyal to Mum?

  ‘You, Alice, are such a beautiful girl. Your mum did well bringing you up to be such a loving, considerate woman, but sometimes you have to make choices in life – follow a path that you want to follow. It doesn’t mean everyone will like it at first, but in time …’ he broke off.

  My mind whirled. Was he saying that if I took this opportunity he thought Mum would actually follow me back to England? But how would I know that for sure? There weren’t any guarantees.

  ‘Do you want her to come back?’ I asked, feeling utterly confused and frustrated by the whole situation.

  Grandie swerved the question completely: ‘Let’s go and get a cup of tea.’

  ‘Please, Grandie, I’m not a child any more. Everything is not fixed by a cup of tea. Don’t you think I deserve the truth?’ I pleaded as he placed his cane on the floor and pushed himself up.

  ‘Connie will be wondering what’s keeping us.’

  Needless to say, my efforts to get to the bottom of it failed.

  I was close to breaking point, the sheer frustration of the situation was taking its toll. Why would no one tell me what was really going on? What happened all those years ago to tear them apart, when it was clear to me by the tears and the tormented look on his face that he still loved Mum?

  But with Mum in New York, I knew I was going to have to dig deeper to uncover the truth. I decided to ring her and tell her I’d made the decision to stay in England and re-open the dance school and I wanted her to do it with me. At least then, the offer was on the table. If she decided to turn it down there was nothing more I could do.

  Chapter 14

  My head was in a whirl on the walk back from the farm. The pain in my knee had subsided but the much-needed phone conversation with my mum was playing over and over in my mind. What was I going to say? And how was she going to react? I had no idea.

  The second I stepped into the hallway of Wild Rose Cottage, Grace beckoned me into the kitchen.

  ‘You look like you’ve got the worries of the world on your shoulders,’ she noted, placing two glasses of water on to the table alongside the mouth-watering prawn salad she’d prepared for dinner.

  ‘You don’t say. That was an afternoon I wasn’t expecting,’ I said, deflated, kicking off my pumps and plonking myself down heavily on the kitchen chair.

  I blew out a breath and folded my arms on the kitchen table. Immediately the smile slid from Grace’s face. ‘It’s serious, isn’t it? What’s happened?’

  For the next ten minutes I told Grace everything, from the discovery of the secret room to the newspaper article and the unexpected arrival of Grandie, home from the hospital, and our emotionally draining chat.

  ‘That’s an awful lot to take in.’

  I nodded. ‘Am I okay to ring Mum before we eat?’ I was frightened that if I didn’t call her that very second, I wouldn’t do it at all.

  ‘Of course you can, the food will keep.’

  ‘Thanks, Grace.’

  ‘You must be genuinely considering Ted’s proposal, otherwise there would be no need to mention it at all to your mum,’ she raised her eyebrows at me.

  ‘You know what, Grace Anderson? Sometimes you are just too clever for your own good. All I can do is give her the choice to do it with me.’

  ‘Not just a pretty face,’ she grinned. ‘Good luck.’

  Feeling nervous, I disappeared upstairs clutching my phone and settled cross-legged on my bed. With my heart thumping, I braced myself. This was the hardest conversation I was ever likely to have with Mum, but she must have known there was a possibility that once I was here, I might not want to go back.

  Was it such a crazy plan to up sticks to England and move into Honeysuckle Farm, leaving my life in New York behind?

  ‘You can d
o this, Alice.’ The words rattled inside my head over and over again. ‘The sooner you talk to her about this, the better it’ll be.’

  Deep breaths, deep breaths.

  Feeling apprehensive, I began to dial the number.

  Needless to say, the second the phone connected I was shaking like a leaf. My head was throbbing and my hands were sweaty but there was no going back. I couldn’t play piggy in the middle forever.

  After three rings, Mum picked up the phone.

  ‘Hi Mum, how are you?’

  ‘Alice, it’s lovely to hear from you. It’s stifling hot and the air conditioning is playing up, but I mustn’t grumble. What’s the weather like there?’

  ‘Sunny at the moment but we’ve had a lot of rain too. I’ve been to The Old Teashop café for cake. Dorothy and Bert pass on their best and said it would be lovely to see you again.’

  ‘How lovely of them both, pass on my best too.’

  ‘Grace and Connie say hi,’ I chirped, thinking I would lead her into the next conversation gently.

  ‘Are you getting on okay?’ she asked.

  ‘Yes, it’s like we’ve never been apart.’

  Then there was a slight awkward silence, but it was now or never.

  ‘Mum,’ my voice faltered, ‘there’s something I need to talk to you about.’

  Again silence.

  ‘Are you still there?’ I checked, feeling uneasy while fiddling with the top of my sock.

  ‘I’m here,’ she said finally, her voice quivering. Deep down I think she knew the conversation with Grandie would happen sooner rather than later. I tried to keep my voice upbeat: ‘I’ve been back to Honeysuckle Farm and guess what, Marley is still there and Billy. I couldn’t believe it.’ I knew I was beginning to babble.

  I could hear Mum breathing on the other end of the phone and could visualise her sitting at the kitchen table, staring out of the window.

  ‘How lovely.’

  There was another long pause.

  ‘And I’ve visited Grandie in hospital, but he’s back home now.’ There, the word Grandie was out in the open, hanging in the air, so there was no going back. I decided to bite the bullet and just keep talking. Even if she wasn’t going to enter into a conversation about him, at least I knew I had her attention and she was listening.

  ‘He’s had a fall.’

  Still Mum didn’t say anything.

  ‘He’s okay, but he’s very frail, Mum.’

  I thought I heard a sniffle at the other end of the line – or was it just a crackle? – I couldn’t quite decide.

  ‘There’s something else too.’

  ‘What is it, love?’

  I was taken aback by the sound of her voice. She definitely sounded shaky. I knew I had to tread very carefully.

  ‘He’s not getting any younger and I think the time has come when he wants to put all his affairs in order, for his own peace of mind. He wants to give me the farm, Mum, and the annexe, but there’s one condition.’

  ‘Which is?’ She spoke slowly but I could hear the intrigue in her voice.

  ‘He also wants to give me the dancing school. He wants me to move back to England and re-open it as a business.’

  I heard a sharp intake of breath from the other end of the line.

  ‘We could do this together, Mum, we could move back to England and re-open the dance school together in partnership.’

  For a moment, there was silence.

  ‘I’m sure that wasn’t your grandfather’s suggestion.’

  ‘It’s my suggestion. We could work together, doing what we both love doing best … singing and dancing, nurturing talent, preparing them for auditions. Our very own business … me and you in partnership.’ Even I could hear the sudden excitement and enthusiasm in my own voice.

  ‘I’m sure that isn’t what your grandfather wants.’

  ‘But it’s what I want. He’ll come round, especially if it means me moving back to England.’

  ‘Is that what you want? You want to move back to England? Where has this idea suddenly come from? You are only meant to be away for a few weeks.’

  ‘What’s keeping us in New York, Mum? What life do we have there?’

  ‘It’s where I live, it’s where we live now.’

  ‘I know all this must seem a little too much, out of the blue,’ I said softly, ‘but it’s not like either of us have jobs that are tying us there and we both rent apartments. You are wasted cleaning diners when you could be back here, teaching dance and living at Honeysuckle Farm. It feels like home here, Mum. It’s our home.’

  ‘And you think your grandfather is just going to let me waltz back into my old life, teaching dance and living at the farm? That’s never going to happen, Alice.’ She sounded a little hysterical now.

  ‘To be honest, Mum, one of you needs to make the first move. If the truth be told, we don’t know how long he has left, and could you actually live with yourself, knowing you had the chance to put it all right, but didn’t take it?’

  ‘That is a low blow, Alice, and you know it.’

  Now it was my turn to remain silent. I recognised that tone of her voice, the tone when I knew I’d over-stepped the mark.

  ‘He made it crystal clear to me that I was never to come back – never to darken his door again – and since he has never told me otherwise …’

  ‘All that was said in the heat of the moment, all those years ago! Isn’t it time everyone let bygones be bygones?’ I tried to be the voice of reason, keeping my voice calm.

  ‘You’ve no idea what went on, Alice,’ she carried on without taking a breath.

  ‘Well, why don’t you tell me then?’ The frustration was now clear in my tone.

  ‘This conversation ends here, Alice,’ she said, firmly taking control.

  Silence again.

  I could feel tears pricking the back of my eyes.

  ‘Mum, this is ridiculous. He’s an old man and surely some sort of fallout from years ago can be put behind you?’ I said, wistfully.

  ‘I’ll ring you again next week to see how you are.’

  ‘Mum, please.’

  Without saying anything more, she hung up.

  Even though it was a relief to get the conversation over, I never even had a chance to tell her I’d discovered what had happened to Grandma. And as soon as I put the phone down there was a soft rap on the bedroom door.

  Grace stepped into the room and gave me a hug. I’d been holding onto my tears but the second Grace’s arms wrapped around me they were unleashed.

  ‘Sorry, I was kind of eavesdropping outside … difficult conversation?’

  I managed a nod as we both sat down on the bed, crossed-legged, facing each other.

  ‘What was the outcome?’ she asked tentatively.

  ‘Not the one I was hoping for.’

  ‘Did you discover what the falling out was over?’

  I shook my head. ‘I’m still clueless.’

  ‘Do you think it’s anything to do with money? People always fall out over money.’

  ‘I’ve honestly no idea.’

  ‘How did she take Ted’s offer?’

  ‘I kind of put a new spin on it, told her he’d offered me the farm, the annexe and he wanted me to re-open the dancing school, but that I wanted her to move back to England with me so that we could open it together as a business, a partnership.’

  ‘Good plan, and her response?’

  ‘She hung up on me! This whole thing is just causing everyone more upset.’

  ‘Stalemate. Someone has to make the first move.’

  ‘That’s my point. I need some fresh air. Have you got time for a quick walk to the dance school? I’ve not even seen it yet.’

  ‘Absolutely. I’ve not been inside that building since the day you left.’

  ‘Come on,’ I said, grabbing my phone, ‘there’s no time like the present.’

  ‘You know what I think, Alice Parker? I think your mum will mull over that conversation and come to her sens
es.’

  ‘I hope you’re right, because I’ve made a decision,’ I announced, feeling my spirits perk up.

  ‘Go on …’

  ‘I can’t face going back to my dreary life and Grandie’s offer is too good to pass up. I’d be mad not to give it a go.’

  ‘You are definitely staying?’ Grace’s eyes widened.

  ‘I am. There … I’ve said it out loud.’

  Grace threw her arms around me. ‘For what it’s worth, I think it’s a great decision.’

  ‘Me too. I feel like it’s my time now, I want to do something for me. Does that make me sound selfish?’

  ‘Of course it doesn’t.’

  My decision was made.

  Even though Mum was still firmly on my mind, I just had to accept Grandie’s offer. He had welcomed me back with open arms, and it wasn’t my job to sort out their relationship. That was down to them, especially if both of them were being stubborn and keeping me in the dark. What more could I do? I felt a great weight lifting off my shoulders.

  ‘Right,’ I said bracingly, ‘come on, let’s go and have a look around the dance school.’ I could hear the excitement in my own voice as I let out a breath.

  Brook Bridge village was home again and as we grabbed our bags I felt a real sense of belonging once more.

  Chapter 15

  We’d only managed to get as far as the doorstep of the cottage when Grace stopped in her tracks.

  ‘Phone, I’ve forgotten my phone.’ Grace rummaged through her bag before racing back inside the cottage, leaving me standing in the fresh air. I looked up when I heard a car door slam and noticed Sam. He’d changed from his sports gear and was now dressed in casual jeans and a navy-blue polo shirt. He was collecting his shopping from the boot of his car, and when he looked up our eyes met. His face lit up briefly, but he shifted his gaze to the ground and quickly turned away. Surely he wasn’t going to ignore me?

  Taking a deep breath, even though I was feeling anxious about Sam’s odd behaviour, and with my heart beating in double time, I decided to go over.

  ‘Hey?’ I said softly.

  He looked up once more. The waft of his aftershave caught on the light breeze and flipped my tummy straight away.