St. Elias

by Meris Lee

  She was not sure how long this peaceful existence would last. Wolfe’s threat still gnawed at her. She was convinced if she were to be sent back to prison in Texas, she’d never be released again. She’d wither away and die there, having done nothing of significance in her insignificant life. Even a salmon would have accomplished more and died of a nobler cause than she, to give itself over entirely to reproduction of the next generation of salmon and to satiate the hunger of other animals. No, she couldn’t go back to prison. Her life had to mean much more than a number in the criminal justice system.

  The day after she was paid for her work in cash, she brought her bounty to Andy’s store in McCarthy. It was a one-story, old western style building with a false façade that said “Wrangell-St. Elias Fishing, Hiking, and More.” Inside, an assortment of handmade Alaska Native crafts was on display alongside a shelf full of books about the region. A young girl in her twenties looked up from behind the cash register and asked her if she needed any help. She gave her name and stated that she had an appointment with Andy. The young girl directed her to the office in the back of the store.

  The office door was open, and Elias could see Andy flipping through pages of documents and looking rather perturbed. She knocked on the door and stepped in. “Are you okay?” she asked, peering at the cot in the corner of the office. Andy was using his office as his home as well, according to Katy.

  Andy looked up at Elias and shook his head. “The bank is killing me. I have to fill out another application for another loan, and they want me to put up my store as collateral. I’ve already put up my plane.”

  “Are you worried you won’t be able to pay them back?”

  Andy sighed. “Don’t tell Katy. Don’t ruin her good mood. And I don’t want her to think Wolfe was right I couldn’t provide for her.”

  “I won’t say anything.” Elias smiled. Katy had gone to Anchorage early that day for bridal shopping. “I’m bringing you some business now.” She put the envelope with her earnings inside on Andy’s desk. “I hope that’s enough money for you to take me to Icy Bay to see Mt. St. Elias.”

  Andy peeked inside the envelope. “Sam will join us soon.”

  “Sam?”

  “He’s been wanting to go for pleasure instead of for work, and it’s his day off today. I owe him a big one, maybe two or three big ones. He’s helped out with my mortgage and loaned me money for the engagement ring, too.”

  “He has?” said Elias. So maybe, despite the arrogance, Sam was altruistic. Or maybe, he just wanted to project an image of altruism since all rich people seemed to want to do that?

  “I also wasn’t sure I should ask Katy to marry me because I was afraid Wolfe was right about me, but Sam persuaded me to propose,” said Andy. “He said life was too short and I would regret it if I didn’t act on my passion when I had the chance.”

  “Act on your passion? He’s one to talk. He’s always so cold.”

  “That’s just a front. He’s a passionate guy. He just may not be showing it with his brother murdered and all.”

  “What happened to his brother?”

  Andy hesitated. “It’s not my place to tell.”

  “I see,” Elias muttered, somewhat disappointed that neither Sam nor Andy considered her a friend to tell secrets to. It was an irrational thought since they barely knew her, and she was also hiding a secret from them. “So, has Sergeant Wolfe recovered from the accident?” Elias tried to hide the anxiety in her voice.

  “He’s been discharged from the hospital in Anchorage, and he should return to work soon,” said Andy, shaking his head. “He’s been such a pain acting like Katy’s dad. Granted, he did help raise her, but that doesn’t give him the right to disparage me.”

  “He helped raise Katy?”

  “He and her mother Nara were in love once, but Wolfe’s family wouldn’t allow it. They wouldn’t have a Native daughter-in-law. So, when a traveling hippie offered to take heartbroken Nara with him, she agreed. Two years later, Nara came home and gave birth to Katy before she became a recluse and left Katy to be raised by her extended family. Wolfe sort of just volunteered himself to help raise Katy. He bought Katy’s first tricycle and later taught her how to drive.”

  “I can’t believe it,” said Elias. “Katy doesn’t seem that close to Sergeant Wolfe.”

  “She would like him to stop meddling with her life,” said Andy. “She’s grateful for what he’s done for her, but he’s overbearing.”

  Elias heard a knock. The young girl handling the front of the store informed Andy that Sam had arrived. Elias held her breath for a moment as she did every time she heard Sam’s name mentioned. She could feel herself tensing up again in nervousness, and it wasn’t because she loathed him or didn’t want to see him. On the contrary, despite all of their not-so-wonderful encounters previously, she always looked forward to seeing him again.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Andy piloted the bush plane to Icy Bay while Elias and Sam sat in the backseat together. It was sunny and cloudless, and the jagged mountain ranges with their snow-white caps were impressive to behold. Andy gave his standard tour speech of the area, but Sam was the only one interacting with Andy. Elias was too preoccupied with the formidable landscapes and the thought of spending a few hours in close quarters with Sam again.

  “There’s Mt. St. Elias to our left,” said Andy.

  Elias had waited for this moment, and now the moment was upon her, all she could do was stare at the majestic peak, afraid if she were to take her eyes off, she would wake up in her prison cell finding it was all but a dream.

  Andy landed the bush plane on the small airstrip of Kageet Point. Elias and Sam stepped off the plane, and Andy asked them to pose for a picture.

  Sam stood an arm’s length away from Elias, who felt awkward being photographed next to a man whom she quarreled with so vehemently just days ago. Neither party had apologized nor made any inclination toward reconciliation. They didn’t even exchange a word on the plane. Elias zipped up her jacket as if trying to fend off the frigid air between Sam and her.

  Elias didn’t smile when Andy counted to three. Sam walked away to snatch photos of his own and Elias sighed, wispy fog amassing then fading in front of her.

  “I’m going to Yakutat to settle a debt with a guy who lent me money for my grandmother’s potlatch,” Andy announced. “It might be a while before I come back.”

  “You’re leaving me?” said Elias, exasperated.

  “You’ll be with Sam.” Andy unloaded a large bag and a pump from his plane. “He’s a better tour guide anyway. He’s a park ranger.”

  “But—”

  “Sam will set up this inflatable kayak and take you out on the water to see Mt. St. Elias up close.” Andy tossed a life vest to Elias.

  She caught the life vest, still in disbelief.

  Andy climbed into his plane and took to the sky with the engine rumbling. Elias shook her head as she watched Sam unfold a flattened block of plastic sheet and turned it into an extended, two-seated flotation device.

  “I’m not getting in that,” she said, suspicious of its sea-worthiness.

  “If it suits you,” said Sam, nonchalantly, “you can stay here while I paddle out.”

  “Fine.”

  Sam put on his life vest and moved the kayak closer to the water. “It’s my duty as a park ranger to warn you there may be grizzlies present. Stay safe.”

  “Grizzlies again?” She thought of his warning when she wanted to be left alone on Nabesna Road.

  “Wolves also come to the coast sometimes. And if you see a moose or a herd of caribous, try not to engage them because they can get aggressive, too.”

  She frowned and said, reluctantly, “All right. I’ll come with you.”

  She put on her life vest and picked up a paddle from the ground. “I don’t know how to do this…kayak thing.”

  “I’ll do most of the work,” said Sam. “You just relax.”

  As if she could relax around him.
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  She sighed and sat down in the front seat of the kayak. He pushed it away from the shoreline and then jumped in the back seat. Elias rested her paddle on her lap and tried to slow her breathing. She could swim, but she would not want to fall into the freezing water.

  Sam paddled toward the inner pocket of Icy Bay. The water was a pristine aquamarine with spots of turquoise, and if it weren’t for the chill and lack of palm trees, Elias could pretend she was cruising around a sunny Caribbean island like in a travel magazine she’d browsed through in the prison library.

  “If you look out in your ten o’clock direction,” said Sam, “you’ll see a pair of orcas stalking harbor seals there.”

  “Orcas?” Elias grew excited at the sight of something she’d only seen in a movie. “As in killer whales?”

  “They are actually dolphins.”

  Two orcas took turns arching their bodies in and out of the water, their black, triangular dorsal fins quietly gliding alongside a stretch of icy debris upon which the harbor seals were hauling out.

  “Wow!”

  “And look straight up now,” said Sam. “Look at the massive Mt. St. Elias in front of us.”

  Elias dropped her jaw, overwhelmed by the sheer size of the white pyramid towering in front of her. She felt honored to be sharing the mountain’s name. She also felt connected to it, like this was a homecoming, like she’d always belonged here.

  Sam paddled the kayak toward the mountain for another twenty minutes before he veered for the shore. He helped Elias onto the pebbly beach, and they both sat down to browse their surroundings. A few yards behind them, spikes of purple lupines sent off a subtle scent of sweetness. The sea was calm, and so was the air. It was quiet. Elias could hear only the water lapping gently against the shore. She tilted her chin up, submerging her cheeks in the mellow light of the northern sun.

  “So Dodsen’s your name?” Sam broke the silence.

  “Yes.”

  “It sounds like dotson’, which means raven in Andy’s tribal language.”

  “Katy told me.”

  “Have you heard the story about how the raven brought salmon to their ancestors?”

  Elias shook her head.

  “Once upon a time, before there was salmon in the Copper River…” Sam started, and Elias couldn’t help but smile at his serious tone of voice. “The raven caused a fight between the seagull and the bald eagle by telling each that the other had caught all the salmon. The bald eagle punched the seagull in the stomach and the seagull regurgitated salmon slime. The raven rolled in that slime and covered himself with salmon scales. Then, he went to the house of the salmon and tricked the boss of the salmon into letting him in the house. The raven, disguised as a salmon, then held the door open and a school of salmon rushed out and swam up the Copper River. That was how the salmon came to Andy’s ancestors.”

  “The raven was a hero then, and a smart one, too.”

  “He was also dishonest.”

  Elias suddenly thought that Sam had told her the story out of disdain and she felt anger rising in her. She stood up. “Is this your way of reminding me that you still think of me as a lying cheat?”

  “What?” He stood up, too. “You’re not still hung up on the other day when you deceived Sergeant Wolfe and caused him almost to perish, and you thought I was accusing you of a serious lapse in judgment?”

  “Well…” she muttered, silently cursing him for using big, fancy words as if he were a class above her. “I’m still waiting for you to say you’re sorry. I’ve not been mean to you. In fact, I think I’ve been nice to you, but you won’t even take a bite of my cake…” She felt her eyes and nose burn as tears streamed down her face. “Why don’t you like me?”

  Sam was quiet for a minute as she sobbed, and then he said softly, “I’m sorry.”

  Elias wiped her eyes. He needed to do a lot more than a straightforward, probably insincere, apology.

  “Red velvet cake was my brother’s favorite,” he said. “Eddie had to have red velvet every birthday, and it had to be homemade. My mother tried to make it a couple of times, but she was a society lady, and couldn’t even warm up a frozen pizza in the oven. So, at first, it was our cook who made it. One year, I asked her to teach me so that I could show off to Eddie. I didn’t figure Eddie would end up requesting me to make the cake every year after that.” Sam chuckled, tears welling up in his eyes. “I went home to Atlanta during spring break one year when I was in law school. Eddie was in his last semester of college, getting a degree in Environmental Sciences. My parents had wanted him to go to medical school or learn to run the family business—my father and his brothers own investment banks, but Eddie wanted to be out in nature and protecting it.”

  “What happened?”

  “We had a few too many drinks one night, but I let Eddie drive us home anyway. I passed out in the passenger’s seat. Next thing I knew, I woke up to a loud explosion. Eddie’s head was on my lap, blood gushing from his scalp. I looked at the driver’s side window, and a police officer was standing there with his gun pointed at me. I could see he was frightened. I didn’t know if he was scared of me or scared of the fact that he just shot my brother. Other police officers showed up, and they shouted at one another. I tried to shake my brother awake, but he wouldn’t respond. He was dead.”

  Elias gasped.

  “I found out later that Eddie had run a red light and was pulled over by the police. He was a little rowdy from the alcohol. It was dark, and the officer couldn’t tell if Eddie was reaching for a gun when he opened the glove compartment…I still couldn’t believe it happened. I would always hear it happen in other cities, to other people, and I never cared. I even blamed the other victims for causing their deaths by acting foolishly in front of the police. And then, it happened to Eddie, and I felt rotten.”

  Elias shook her head in disbelief.

  “I started going to protests, and organized some,” said Sam. “I was suspended from law school for missing too many classes and exams. I asked my parents to use their money and power to get justice for Eddie, but they were too concerned about losing their customers. They were angry I threw away my career for something that couldn’t be helped.”

  “What happened to the cop that shot Eddie?”

  “Nothing,” said Sam, resentment apparent in his voice. “Absolutely nothing.”

  “So, that’s how come you can never have red velvet again?”

  He looked into her eyes. “I haven’t had it since Eddie’s death. You see, you were not the reason why I didn’t touch your cake. You had nothing to do with it. But I’m sorry to cause you upset and think that I don’t like you because on the contrary, I—”

  “Yes?”

  “I have a lot of respect for you,” he said, his voice kinder now. “Katy told me you hitchhiked to McCarthy alone. That took courage.”

  Elias shrugged. She had hoped he’d say he liked her instead.

  “I couldn’t find any peace with all the protests, and I was disillusioned by my parents’ cold shoulders,” said Sam. “They could talk about civil rights all day long at their rich galas, but at the end of the day, they were elitists who, despite their best intentions, could not understand or help the masses. I volunteered with a youth group that took disadvantaged kids to the outdoors. One morning, I stood alone in front of a waterfall. I watched the sunlight dance in and out of the cascading water and the pond below, with the birds singing, the fresh smell of pines, and the cool, clean air on my skin, and right there and then, I found peace.”

  “And then you became a ranger.”

  “I started at the Acadia National Park in Maine and asked for a transfer every few years until I got this position a year ago, so now you’ve gotten the answer to the question you asked me the last time we were alone.”

  “So now we’re friends?” asked Elias.

  “So now we’re friends,” affirmed Sam.

  She smiled. “Now I’m glad you’ve come on this trip with me. I was worried we’d b
e awkward around each other. I appreciate this guided kayak trip, too.”

  “Only for you. I’ve never given a kayak tour before, and I doubt I’d do it again for anyone else.”

  She felt her ears burn. “I’d like to make you something to eat, as my way of saying thank you for this trip. I’m a cook, and cooking’s all I can do.”

  “If you’re bent on filling my gastric pouch, I do miss a good and cheesy chicken spaghetti.”

  “That’s all?”

  “That’s all, Elias,” said Sam, almost whispering, and Elias felt her heart melt away hopelessly right there and then.

  They walked along the shore and chatted for a while before heading back in their kayak toward Kageet Point. Elias tried paddling and found herself in a strange state of happiness. The mountains and the ocean were even more beautiful than when she first saw them a few hours before, and she wondered whether it had to do with her feeling that, perhaps, Sam was fond of her as much as she—she had to admit to herself now—was of him.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Elias would’ve liked for Sam to linger a while at Andy’s office after they returned from Mt. St. Elias, but Sam had to respond to an unexpected problem regarding two missing hikers. Elias looked on forlornly as Sam walked away, but she was happy that, at least, they were no longer adversaries.

  “So, what’s a potlatch?” asked Elias.

  “A potlatch is a ceremony where we feast and present gifts to mark an important event,” said Andy. “My grandmother passed away a year ago, and my family is hosting a potlatch to thank those who helped with her funeral. My grandmother raised me, and I loved her very much. I need to make sure she is properly honored so that she wouldn’t be ashamed of me.”

  “Why would she be ashamed?”

  “If the potlatch is too shabby, and I don’t come up with nice gifts…”

  “I thought you said your family is hosting, so why does it seem to all rest on you?” asked Elias.