Yellow- the Struggle

by Lipa Nandes

Should I tell him about what happened with her?

  No, Kyle, you shouldn't do it. - I said to myself. - The last thing you want is to keep her away from you, you have to protect her, no matter what. I finish my thoughts in silence as I struggle over everything that has happened in the last few hours.

  But one the other hand; I needed to tell her dad, I know he cares for her, and he wouldn't stop at nothing to find her, he might even come here to the yacht and Neva would for sure freak out about that.

  "Huh, yes I am, why?" I answered him vaguely, hoping that this answer would be enough to keep him away from her. Just like she asked me to.

  "I managed to get Patrick out of jail, but could you please tell Neva that I still couldn't do it? Because I want her to take some time away from him, you know, to think about coming home again." Mr. Clark said defeated.

  I don't think she wants to go home right now, not after that phone call, but if the goal is to keep her away from him, I'm going to do what I can to keep her away from him.

  "Of course, Mr. Clark, all for the Neva sake," I answered him this time trying to disguise my nervousness.

  I didn't want to jeopardize Neva's hideout or say something I shouldn't. What I wanted was to turn off that call as fast as I could and go back to her.

  But what am I supposed to do? What does she expect of me?

  "Is everything okay with her?" Why he keeps pushing my buttons here?

  "Yes Mr. Clark, Neva is fine, at the moment she's sleeping." I

  Concluded.

  I need to end up this call fast; otherwise, I could be betrayed by my own words.

  "Okay, if you need anything, call me. Please, stay with her at least until tomorrow, and then we'll see what to do after."

  "Certainly, Mr. Clark, see you tomorrow."

  "See you tomorrow, Kyle, and thank you for everything."

  "No problem."

  I quickly put the phone down and sign a bit of relief.

  But on the other hand, I could not help but feeling nervous because I have no idea what I'm going to do to help her, even more now that I know that bastard is on the loose again.

  I also cannot talk to her brothers because they might want to come here, and I can't even speak to Marcus because he might want to come here... I'm entirely lost because attached to all the people who can help me are all connected to the same consequence. They would all want to come here to know how she is, and that could further aggravate the situation.

  Unless — I went down the stairs making no sound. I walk into the room very slowly and try to find Neva's cell phone. Lucky for me, she falls asleep again. I start looking in her pants and see that she has the cell phone on the back pocket of her pants.

  I take it without waking her, and I leave the room slowly closing the door.

  When I get back to the main deck, I unlock her cell phone, and I'm surprised she didn't change the code. The combination of the numbers is not random, quite the contrary, they are the combination of our anniversary days. Maybe there's still some hope for both of us, together, as we should have always been.

  I walk to her contact list, and I stop under Miles name, maybe he can help me, and so perhaps I could keep everyone away from her.

  I call him and after four rings; "Clark, what the hell do you want?" He asked abruptly.

  "Um... It's not Clark, it's Kyle," I replied, afraid of his reaction.

  "Kyle? What do you want man?" He asked me arrogantly.

  "Listen, I don't know who called your friend, but it was Neva who answered the call, and now she's devastated, she's in shock, I don't know man, but I need help. Can you help me?" My despair is so tremendous that all my pride has been set aside. I know that now more than ever, I have to be able to be here for her.

  The silence on the other side continued, so much that for a moment, I thought that he ended up the call.

  "Kyle, I know what should have happened, but it's not right for me to tell you. As far as Clark is concerned, I think you should expect her to want to talk to you. But I give you an advice. You're not supposed to have close to her alcohol, or weed, or anything else she can get. It will make it even worse." He told me in a severe tone that made me think he was genuinely concerned about Clark. I'm not much of a judge people, but Miles is quite different from Patrick. Despite being upset because he has the answers, I need to help her.

  But on the other hand, I want to be able to make her do it, maybe she'll trust me again.

  "Oh, okay, but what things do I have to keep away from her, despite alcohol and we—"

  "Look, I don't know where you took her but make sure you have no drugs near her, alcohol, knives, or other things. I have seen her like this once, completely defeated, and believe me when I say that it will not be easy and that you will always stay with her and prevent her from doing some madness. If you need me to call, be my guest, but I have to go now because I'm working." He said hurriedly.

  "Okay, thanks, Miles."

  "No problem."

  The call went out, and I sat on one of the loungers on the main deck.

  I ran my hand through my hair, and honestly, and despite everything that Miles told me, I don't really know what I'm going to do.

  Then Neva's phone starts ringing in my hands, and I see Patrick's name on the screen, I waited for him to hang up so I could save Miles's number on my phone so I can turn off Clark's phone.

  I don't think I'm going to let him talk to her again.

  "What are you doing in here?" I heard her voice asking behind my back.

  I glanced back to find Neva standing below the threshold of the main entrance.

  Her eyes were swollen and red, her hair was utterly unkempt, and her voice was drawn, almost inaudible.

  "I was talking on the phone, and I didn't want to wake you up," I replied, hiding her cell phone underneath my leg.

  "Who was it?" She asked me rubbing her eyes, taking two steps forward, but I could not risk anyone seeing her here; otherwise, my whole plan to protect her would be compromised.

  I stood up, bringing her cell phone with me, but keeping it in the back pocket of my pants. I reached for her, and with my hands, I cupped her face.

  "It was your father; he couldn't get Patrick out of jail."

  Why am I lying to her? She probably will not want to go back to him or her parents' house, should I tell her the truth?

  But still, I feel like she can get away from me again, just so it might be best to keep this version, at least for now.

  She let out a big sigh and looked more directly at me; "That's better, that bastard deserves to rot in jail." She answered me with a look so blank and empty. That was not what I was expecting her to say.

  I hate to see her completely lost, I hate to see her suffer this way, but I'll give her what she needs. Space, protection, and be someone she can trust.

  This time I'm not going to screw up. And if I have to postpone my return to college, that's what I'm going to do.

  She is more important now; she is my priority, and this time, I will not fail her.

  "Let's go back downstairs, you need to rest," I told her, dropping her cheeks from my hands.

  "You stay with me until I feel better?" At the same time, she questioned me, the tears came again to break her little brown eyes, and I couldn't allow that suffering anymore. I wanted so much to kiss her, I wanted so badly to show my love for her. But as difficult as it is to control myself, I know that this is not what she needs now.

  I wiped away the first tears that traced that beautiful, dark face with the freckles scattered right below the line of her eyes, I approached her to my chest in a tight hug; "I will not leave you Yellow, never again." I promised to her.

  With these words, I managed to make her panic calm her inner battle, and I managed to get her back to the room with me.

  She needs to sleep, she needs to rest, and I'm here to give her all that. I don't know what's wrong with me this time, but if someone tries to hurt her again, I feel I won’t be able to hold my tempe
r in anymore.

  chapter thirty-one

  kyle

  When we got back to the room, Neva turned on the light from the little lamp I had while I closed the door. My eyes continued to look at that girl so fragile and so beautiful.

  She has no idea how much I love her.

  Suddenly she starts taking off her clothes, just getting in her underwear; "What are you doing?" I could not help but ask.

  She looked up at me, covered in sadness; "I can't sleep very much in my clothes, and neither can you," she replied in a small voice as she pushed back the sheets and then lay beneath them.

  I followed her lane and started taking off my clothes, just getting in boxers. Incredible that even with all this chaos around us, we managed to feel this at ease between us. For us, this is nothing strange at all, something that has happened once in one of the parties that I did here.

  After the clothes I had taken, I moved toward the bed and lay down beside her, covered her body with the sheet, and she switched off the light from the little lamp.

  As the darkness settled into the room, I felt her whole body turn to me, her hand rested on my face; "Thank you for staying with me," she told me, running her thumb over my lower lip.

  Where else would I have gone? Right now, I can indeed be what she needs.

  I don't know the power she has in me, but I cannot get hurt and resentful with her, or even upset, and despite what she told me, I cannot stay away from her.

  "I had to, I needed to," I said.

  "You could have just left me alone." I had to cut her there.

  "Are you insane? I never in a million years would leave you alone at a time like this." I told her with my intent voice so she would realize that this time, she will not face any of this alone.

  We both remain silent for a few minutes, I don't know if this is good or bad, or if she has already fallen asleep, but the important thing is that I am with her now, and I have no intention of going anywhere.

  "Kyle?" She said, breaking the silence.

  "Yes?"

  "Kiss me."

  Am I hallucinating or is this really happening? Did I hear, right?

  "What?" I didn't want to miss this opportunity to feel her lips on mine, but, I needed to confirm if she was even asking me what I heard.

  "You heard me — Kiss me."

  Those words were music to my ears. And without long delays, I brought her face to mine and kissed her passionately. I am completely in love with this girl.

  After feeling her lips on mine, I partially placed my body over hers. I didn't know what else to do if not continue to kiss her. I was so desperate for her to have her just for me.

  If this is part of a dream, then I don't want to ever wake up.

  Her hands were on my back, and she was pressing down to keep me close to her as possible. I dropped on top of her, and our bodies touched in full.

  It all seemed so right to us, it seemed to be something we always did, and although this is the first time this has happened between us, I feel entirely ready to lose myself in her.

  I broke our kiss, trailing my lips to her neck. Then I begin to feel every trace of her body with my hands. My fingers dropped from her neck to her shoulders, finding the strap of her bra on the way, which I took cautiously, afraid that she would stop me right there.

  But she didn't. Instead, one of her hands came off my back and towards her bra, helping me take it off.

  I was very nervous about everything that was happening, after all, it is not every day that you lose your virginity with the girl you love.

  But I must confess that for a long time I have longed for this day, for this moment. And now that it's finally here, I don't want it to end.

  "Touch me," she asked, sighing against my ear.

  My handheld fully one of her breasts, which were now completely naked for me, though I had no experience at all, I heard enough stories at the university of boys who boasted whenever they got what they wanted from the girls.

  My mouth went down the neck and onto the line of her chest. Soon after I ended up finding her breasts, I kissed them gently, with tenderness and care, my heart was beating harder, and I could not think of anything else at that moment.

  "Do you have condoms here?"

  My whole body stopped at that moment, I froze when I heard that question, but then I remembered that there might be some in the drawer of my bedside table because it is quite probable that my father has placed a box of them somewhere around here. That’s just how my father was, always one step ahead.

  I turned on the light from the lamp, and her face was now lighter, her cheeks were pink, and she looked like the same girl she was before everything that happened to her.

  I couldn't resist her rosy lips and kissed her again, while my other hand opened the top drawer to find the box of condoms. When I felt the box between my fingers, I brought it to the bed and then opened it as fast as I could.

  But even before continuing; "Are you sure you want to do this now?" I asked, despite being afraid of her answer.

  "I'm sure," she told me firmly.

  I turned off the light from the lamp, returning to the comfort of the darkness.

  Her hands reached for the condom wrap; "I'll handle it," She instructed me.

  I let myself be carried away by her words, I let myself be carried by our so intimate and raw moment.

  She kissed me as her body lifted, our positions were changed, and she ended up staying on top of me.

  Then her hands trailed my torso to the line of my boxers. With each passing minute, the nervousness was higher, my heartbeat became more and more breathless, and I couldn't think straight.

  Gently, Neva took off my boxers. I ran her leg up to her waist, but then I stopped right there because I didn't want to push it.

  One of her hands involved my erection and began to move slowly up and down.

  This is really happening, this is really happening! I thought to myself.

  I didn't know the pleasure that could be felt only with this movement. Oh gosh, this feels so good, so good that if she continues, I'll come a lot faster than I was supposed to.

  Control yourself, Kyle, control yourself.

  Suddenly she stopped, then I heard the sound of the pack opening, and after that, I felt viscous of the condom slipping in.

  Then she climbed up on me, and I felt the real pleasure of entering inside of her.

  She started to come down and up slowly so I could adapt to her, or maybe she to me, I don't know.

  But fuck, I didn't know how good this is was, how good it would be with her.

  After a few minutes like this, I was trying desperately on controlling myself because it was so hard not to come. She began to accelerate the movement of her hips.

  I couldn't stand there at her mercy, I thought, so I lifted my head, put my hands on her back and my lips between her breasts.

  I was now in paradise, our paradise, that was how everything should have happened once she got home.

  No dramas, no confusions, and no secrets. Her fingers snagged between my hairs pulling my head back, she brought her lips close to mine; "I want you to come with me," I must admit, it was very disconcerting to hear her say that, but at the same time it sounded so sexy in her voice.

  "Now!" She ordered.

  I attended to her request, eventually releasing myself into the condom. I groaned in the last moments, and it felt so good when I did it.

  Our breaths were out of control, she was still on top of me, resting her arms over my shoulders.

  My lips found the way to hers, kissing them intensely.

  She broke our kiss; "What time is it?" She asked as she gets off me.

  "The last time I saw the time was almost eight at night," I answered as I took out the condom.

  Suddenly, the light came back to break the darkness, and I looked directly at her.

  "Can you go get us something to eat? I'm starving."

  I couldn't understand this sudden change of mood, but
I'm here for her in every way possible.

  A little confused by all this, I ask her; "Sure, what do you want to eat?"

  "Um... I don't know, but whatever you get I'll have the same."

  I got out of bed, always looking at her, I started dressing. She seemed happy to me, strange as it all seems, she was so calm. There was no sadness in her eyes, no hurt, nothing.

  Just her, in the same way, I knew her.

  I sat on the foot of the bed, pulling on my sneakers, then got up and leaned over to her and kissed her, she kissed me back, and I found myself completely addicted to her.

  Now more than ever, I knew I had to stay here with her. No matter what happens.

  "I'll be right back, don't run away from me, please," I begged to her, looking directly into her eyes.

  "I'm not going anywhere," she replied, leaving a light kiss to my lips. I believed her, I believed that she would be there waiting for me and that the fact that I was willing to leave her alone here, even if for a short time, I showed her and made her see that I trusted her, so she could trust me again.

  I got off the yacht and went to my car, getting out of there fast so I can get back even faster to her side.

  chapter thirty-two

  neva

  After Kyle had left, I start dressing while I try to remember where the hell I left my cell phone.

  I thought I had it in my pants.

  Shit! It must have fallen on Kyle's car.

  Fuck, now that I wanted to call Miles, I wanted, and I needed to talk to him because now it all starts to make more sense in my head.

  The pieces of this puzzle begin to merge automatically.

  I sat on the foot of the bed and fell back, now that I'm here alone, my mind starts to relive everything that has happened to me in the last hours and the previous days.

  If Miles knew everything, why did he not tell me when he saw me the night I went with Patrick to their house?

  Why did he hide something so big from me?

  Although the truth is gaining shape, I still cannot even assimilate that something of this dimension has happened, that this is just a nightmare that I will wake up to. I need to wake up.