by Jewel E. Ann
“I’d better get back to our guests.” I turned to leave, not wanting to get into an argument at a party filled with our family and friends. He grabbed my arm to stop me, which made my mouth move faster than my brain. “Get.Your. Fucking. Hands. Off. Me.”
He pulled back in shock as if he had no idea what set me off. “Addy—” His eyes moved past me and then I was the one following his gaze. Elena stood a few feet behind me, all the blood drained from her face. My heart skipped a beat. The last thing I wanted was to embarrass or hurt her. In that moment I was more concerned for her feelings than either mine or Quinn’s.
“Addy, what’s wrong?” she whispered.
“Nothing … um, I just was, or I saw …” I was at a loss for words. Was I supposed to tell her the truth? I didn’t want to lie to her, but it wasn’t the time nor the place to get into it. “I’m sorry, Elena, I can’t talk about this now. Please, let’s just get back to the party. We can talk about it later, okay?” I pleaded as much with my eyes as I did with my words.
She looked past me to Quinn, and if looks could kill, then I should have heard the sound of his body fall to the ground. Instead, I kept my gaze on her as she grabbed my hand and pulled me back down the hall to the party. Neither one of us looked back at Quinn.
I spent the rest of the party planted at Elena’s side. She was like a mama bird watching out for me. Quinn kept his distance, as if he feared the wrath of his mother. I put on my best face so nobody would think much of us navigating the party separately. Mac knew something was up, but I shook off her attempts to approach me about it.
Elena spoke with Chase and told him to bring Quinn home because she was taking me back first and wanted some time alone with me. I knew Quinn was not privy to that bit of information because he never would have allowed it, even if it meant being at odds with his mother.
*
We arrived back at Elena’s around four in the morning. I was exhausted, physically and emotionally, but she insisted we have a quick chat before Chase arrived with Quinn.
“I don’t want all the details, Addy. I saw Olivia there and I know something must have happened to set you off. You have to know I’m on your side even though I love my son, but as we discussed before, Quinn is oblivious to his actions around women.”
She held my hands squeezing them and bringing her head closer to mine eliciting my gaze. I brought my teary eyes to meet hers. “But, my dear Addy, I know with every cell in my body that he loves you. You are the love of his life. I’m not asking you to turn a blind eye to his stupid actions. You should talk to him. He will listen. He’s not like his father. He loves you and he wants to please you. Okay?”
I pulled my hands from hers to wipe my tears. The lump in my throat was paralyzing my voice so I simply nodded. She hugged me tight and kissed my head. I released a tight sob.
“Now get some sleep, my dear. Things will look better after you give your body and mind a chance to rest. My stupid, stupid boy won’t be bothering you until I’ve had a long heart-to-heart with him.”
*
It felt like I had been sleeping forever. I looked at the clock on the nightstand, and it read a quarter to noon. The room was dimly lit from the light that filtered through the long, sheer curtains. I rolled toward the middle of the bed and froze. Quinn was facing me on his side with his head propped up on several pillows.
“Hey, beautiful.”
I blinked and right away noticed my swollen eyes. It was the nasty side effect of crying myself to sleep.
“Addy, I think there was a huge misunderstanding last night and I feel really bad about it. I want to make it up to you but I don’t know how. All I know is my mother reamed me out for over an hour for being an insensitive jerk along with a whole list of other names I never imagined my mother would call me. But in the end, I guess the insensitive jerk part of me still didn’t understand what exactly I did that was so awful. So … I’m sure the only thing worse than doing whatever it was I did is not knowing what that is.” His face was scrunched in timid apprehension, like he was waiting for me to go ballistic on him.
He was right to think I might lose it. Quinn literally had big balls but I was shocked to find out that figuratively his balls were just as big. Most men would throw out random apologies until something stuck, not Quinn. He honestly didn’t understand what he did that was so wrong and he had no qualms admitting it.
Deep breath … I am peaceful, I am strong.
I sat up and turned my back to him with my legs dangling off the side of the bed. “I didn’t invite Olivia to your party.”
“I didn’t figure you did.”
He wasn’t helping the situation.”Then who invited her?”
“She said she was in Madrid for a photo shoot and my sister insisted she come to the party.”
I nodded my head but it quickly changed direction into a side to side shake. “Why would Alexis invite her?”
“I’ve told you they’re friends and I’ve known Olivia for quite a while, too.” He sounded so casual, as if I was the one who was crazy to even be surprised that she was there.
My pulse picked up as I clenched my fists into the sheets grasping for control. “Quinn, she’s your ex-girlfriend, lover, fuck buddy … whatever!”
“Yeah, ex, but I’m with you, Addy. I love you.”
“Jesus, Quinn!” I stood and turned with my hands still fisted at my sides. “She basically called me a whore the same day you broke my heart for the what … I don’t know, second, third, fourth time? She’s the spark that ignites most of our fights. You still have faint white scars on your back from what I’ve always assumed were her fingernails from when you were touching, kissing … fucking her the same way you fuck me. AND the first I saw of her at the club was with you—” My voice caught as heartbreak and agony tackled my anger and took over. Tears flooded my already swollen eyes, and I hated myself for breaking down in front of him. He scooted to the edge of the bed and started to stand. “Don’t!” I held out my hand. “Just don’t.” He stopped, sitting where I had been a few moments earlier.
I regained my composure and talked slower to make it through what I needed to before my weaker emotions took over again. “The first I saw of her at the club was with you … alone … in the hall by the lounge. She was … whispering something in your ear, her hand was on yo—your leg and—” I swallowed through the lump in my throat and wiped more tears away as my bottom lip quivered. “Your hand wa—was on her—hers.” I released a sob and Quinn tried to move toward me again, but I shook my head and stepped back a few more steps until he stopped. “I know you d—don—don’t understand, bu—but the gesture was … int—intimate and … and … familiar … and comfortable.”
He visibly deflated in front of me. I had to fight the courage to stand my ground and not be made to feel like a jealous fool for making a big deal out of “nothing.”
We both were silent as my breathing evened back out again.
“I mean … you gave your brother a verbal and non-verbal warning, more than once, about keeping his hands to himself and I’ve never fucked him. So it’s okay for you to go all caveman with your own brother but I’m supposed to just sit back and watch you and Olivia have a private moment with your hands on each other? Really, Quinn, is that how it’s going to be?”
He eased toward me, testing my response, but I no longer had the energy to stop him or even back away from him. He folded me in his strong arms. I was too tired to sob anymore, but a few residual tears made their way down my face and onto his shirt.
One of the qualities I both loved and hated about Quinn was his brutal honesty when directly confronted. He didn’t sugarcoat things to ease the pain. In fact his honesty about Olivia would usually cut my heart like a knife.
“You’re right, my history with Olivia makes being in close proximity to her familiar and comfortable, but it wasn’t … it’s not intimate, not for me. I was an asshole, I am an asshole. She should not have been at the party, and I should not have be
en with her, the way we were. Although it really didn’t mean anything to me at the time, I know that it looked bad to you and possibly anyone else who saw us together. It was embarrassing and hurtful to you and I will never be able to take back what happened, but I will make sure it never, ever happens again.”
He sat on the bed and pulled me onto his lap so I was straddling him. He leaned his forehead against mine. “I feel you … when you see the scars on my back. I feel you tense up a little and it breaks me inside. I hate that they’re there. But, Addy, you’re the only woman I’ve ever made love to. I have never kissed anyone the way I kiss you, the way I touch you, the way my body connects to yours, the way my soul longs for yours. My heart beats with yours, for you, because of you.” I watched tears drip between us … but they weren’t mine.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
“Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.”
~Aristotle
OUR LAST DAY with Elena was not what I had planned. Quinn spent most of the day either arguing with Alexis about the Olivia catastrophe or settling fights between his mom and Alexis, also about Olivia. I disappeared with Chase for part of the day to have lunch with Mac and Evan before they headed home. Quinn was disappointed he couldn’t join us but I understood he had some things to settle with his sister.
Later that afternoon we said our goodbyes to his family and boarded his private jet with Zach and Eden to the next surprise destination.
Scuba diving in the Canary Islands had Quinn all smiles again. He had lots of scuba diving experience and so did his sidekick, Zach. Eden and I were both certified to dive, but neither one of us had very much actual experience. What made our foursome work so well was the combination of two cocky guys, who had done just about everything, coupled with two adventurous girls, who were willing to try just about anything.
The Canary Islands were beautiful. Being volcanic in nature, they were breathtaking both above and below the water. Picturesque views of the crystal clear waters of the Atlantic mixed with the turquoise sea and rich marine life gave the islands a dreamy paradise atmosphere. It was a diver’s dream with arches, tunnels, caves, caverns, coral fish, game fish, pelagic species, a rainbow of flora, and scattered shipwrecks.
We stayed for five days in three different locations, each on a private beach surrounded by warm salty ocean air and an infinity of blue waves. Our last night we enjoyed dinner outside on the patio illuminated by a combination of the full moon and the flickering flames of beautiful garden torches.
Quinn raised his glass. “A toast to the most amazing time in paradise with my best friend, his lovely and adventurous girl, and the love of my life for making this all possible, but mostly for making us possible. You dropped everything and took a blind leap of faith to be with me … I will never be worthy of you, but I will live every day in abundant gratitude that you haven’t figured out yet what a monumental ass I really am.”
Everyone laughed and raised their glasses in unison. “Cheers!”
Quinn took a sip then leaned over and pressed his lips to mine. “I love you, baby.”
I ran my palm over his cheek and smiled. “I love you too.”
“Any progress on mission ‘destination Chicago’?” Zach inquired.
I looked at Quinn.
“I haven’t had that much time to figure it all out, but when we get back I’m going to investigate some possible solutions,” he answered very matter-of-factly.
“We’re going to miss you both, ya know?” Eden said with a sad smile.
“We’re going to miss you too, but with Quinn traveling so much I’m sure we’ll still be in New York quite often.” I smiled back. When I looked at Quinn he had a contemplative look on his face and I wondered what had him distracted.
After another hour of talking, laughing, and drinking, Zach and Eden decided to call it a night. Quinn suggested we take a farewell walk along the beach before heading out in the morning for our next surprise destination.
*
I was still in my bikini with a long sheer wrap around my waist. My sun-kissed skin had a subtle bronze glow in the moonlight. Quinn was wearing nothing but board shorts that hung low on his waist and his perfect olive skin had taken on a deeper shade which intensified his sex appeal. We walked hand-in-hand in silence for a while as the waves rocked back and forth over our feet. When we were a ways out from the house he stopped and turned to face me. The ocean breeze flowed through my hair and he tucked a few errant strands behind my ear then feathered the tips of his fingers down my neck and over the swell of my breasts. Despite the warm breeze, my skin erupted in goose bumps under his sensual touch. Wetting my lips with my tongue, I looked up into his dark, seductive eyes. He bent down and kissed my bottom lip, then my top, and finally his tongue slid past my lips flicking just the tip of mine. Our mouths eased together as our tongues slow danced. His hands skimmed down my arms and then to my back, gradually untying my bikini top until the strings fell to my sides. With an equally patient ascent, his hands cupped my face ever-so-slightly, deepening our kiss, before sliding them under my hair to the back of my neck undoing the final tie to my top. The two triangles and their connecting strings fell to the sand. Quinn continued his leisurely journey to my breasts where he cupped his fingers under them while he delicately rubbed the pads of his thumbs over my erect nipples sending a flood of hot liquid pulsing to my sex.
“Oh God, Quinn,” I breathed out, arching into his touch.
His tongue trailed along my jaw to my ear. “Beautiful …You’re just … So. Damn. Beautiful.”
He drew my earlobe into his mouth. My hands rested on his firm chest to steady my weak knees. He sucked and nibbled along my neck as his hands pressed down the concave part of my hourglass figure stopping at the top of my wrap. One hand loosened the knot until it opened and glided down to my feet.
My hands feathered around his torso to his back then dipped under the waist of his board shorts until both of my hands reached his strong glutes with my fingers splayed across them.
His fingers dug into my hips as he bit his lower lip and released a moan, briefly closing his eyes. “Oh, Addy …”
Then his fingers simultaneously tugged at the hip ties to my bottoms, releasing them to the growing pile at my feet.
He pulled back and looked down at my feet. I was standing naked, exposed, and vulnerable to him. He thoughtfully moved his eyes up my body, as if he was committing every inch to memory, until his eyes met mine. He stripped me to the essence of my soul with just his eyes.
I felt his words before he spoke them, but then he did … he said them. Two words. They weren’t a question, or a demand. They weren’t planned or rehearsed. They were just the natural unfolding of time, the perfect moment, the now. They were as essential and instinctive as our our next breath.
“Marry me.”
I paused for a moment before I slid his shorts down, keeping my eyes immersed in his. He fell to his knees as the waves crashed along the shoreline, enveloping us in their warmth and pull. His hands supported my body as I lowered to him, stopping to capture his mouth with mine. I closed my eyes and let the white noise of the sea, the smell of the ocean air, and the warmth of Quinn take over my senses. He wrapped one arm around my back and guided my legs around his waist with the other. He gradually lowered me onto him, filling every inch. In that moment, I gave myself to him completely. He held me tight as our bodies melted into the sand and water. Every move was in perfect harmony and rhythm with the ebb and flow of the sea, with our hearts, with our souls. Every cell in my body yearned for Quinn. He couldn’t get close enough to me. I wanted every part of him so badly it was all consuming.
“Harder, Quinn, please I need … more,” I pleaded.
My legs wrapped around his and my arms hooked under his while my hands gripped his shoulders for dear life. I arched my whole body into his.
“I know, baby …” he held me just as tight with each deep thrust “ …it’ll never be enough … God, I’ll always need
more of you,” he whispered through strained breaths.
And in that perfect moment our bodies let go. Quinn pushed our hands over my head and intertwined our fingers, both of us squeezing so hard our knuckles turned white. His mouth crashed to mine. Our bodies rubbed together, fighting to absorb every last sensation. The slow fading of ecstasy was almost physically painful.
*
I woke on my stomach in a tangle of white sheets and sand. I stretched my hand to find Quinn. I craved the reassurance that last night wasn’t just a dream. Disappointment washed over me as my hand patted the empty spot beside me. I peeled my eyes open, squinting against the morning sun’s rays that filtered through the window. What immediately caught my attention was the kaleidoscope of purples and blues that reflected on the sheets, ceiling, and walls. I stretched out my left arm and spread my fingers. Planted on my ring finger was a stunning tanzanite and diamond ring. Two halos of diamonds surrounded a cushion cut tanzanite gemstone, that must have weighed at least six or more carats, with diamonds continuing down both sides of a dazzling platinum band.
“Good morning, my beautiful.” Quinn was standing in the doorway with a white towel wrapped around his waist, messy wet hair, and droplets of water tearing down his chest.
My lazy eyes refused to meet his, and my mouth was agape until I was forced to swallow back my pooling saliva. He messed with his towel and I drew in a quick breath, anticipating him letting it fall to the ground, but he just readjusted and tightened it. His chuckle snapped me out of my lustful state. When I met his eyes they too were smiling as he shook is head.
“I’m glad you like it.”
I nodded and sucked in my bottom lip then worked it with my teeth while my eyes fell again to his dripping wet body.
“The ring … I’m glad you like the ring.”
My eyes jerked to his again, then my ring, and back to his eyes again. “Um, yeah … it’s stunning, too much really.” I looked back down at it and twisted the band back and forth.