All acts of pleasure argi-7

by M. R. Sellars

  “Good luck,” I offered. “I doubt Shamus would give it willingly.”

  Felicity gave her head a confused shake. “Well, if they didn’t have the results in from the other murders, and they didn’t have an exact match, weren’t they a little premature in arresting me?”

  “Yeah, well that’s another yes and no.”

  “How is that?”

  “Well, yeah, they were jumpin’ the gun a bit, but believe me, when ya’ got a dead federal judge and a dead cop, there’s a ton of pressure on.”

  “So much that they were willing to do this to me even though they weren’t sure?”

  “I’m afraid that’s the way it works, Felicity,” Ben replied. “Arrests don’t always come with a hundred percent guarantee that ya’ got the right person. You go based on evidence and reasonable suspicion.”

  “But it sounds like the evidence wasn’t all in yet.”

  “No, but sometimes you go with what you got, and if there’s a pile of circumstantial that fills in the holes, it starts makin’ for a case.”

  “What other evidence did they have against me? Surely nothing they found here. Unless…”

  “Unless what?” I asked, perking up at her tone.

  “It’s nothing,” she replied quickly and with little conviction.

  I had a suspicion about what the “nothing” actually was, and the look on Ben’s face told me he was debating about what he should say which meant he probably knew for certain. I considered turning to him for the answer, but given the situation I decided it would be better to let it go for the time being.

  “Yeah,” Ben finally offered after an uncomfortable pause. “Well…Yeah, there was definitely some stuff that they dragged outta here they were gonna toss on the pile just for the sake of havin’ it, but they definitely had some other shit they thought was even more incriminating.”

  “What?”

  “It’s pretty obvious actually. How do ya’ know an elephant’s been in your refrigerator?”

  “Excuse me?”

  “How do ya’…”

  “I heard the question, Ben,” she returned. “I just don’t understand what a silly children’s riddle has to do with what I just asked you.”

  “The footprints in the butter,” I chimed in, going ahead and answering the old joke for him because I knew exactly where he was headed with the reference.

  “Ding-ding,” he said, then looked over to my wife. “In this case, actually it was your shoe prints all over that fruitloop you picked up in the nightclub.”

  “But I thought he wasn’t pressing charges,” she replied. “In fact I know he isn’t. Or at least he wasn’t as of last week.”

  “He still ain’t that I know of,” Ben shook his head. “But that didn’t stop the crime scene guys from gettin’ pictures and more than just a little of his blood off your shoes.”

  “But I didn’t…”

  Ben held up his hand. “I know what you’re gonna say…You didn’t kill ‘im. They know that too, but it ain’t the point. Ya’ did shit to ‘im consistent with the killer’s M.O., and on top of that ya’ drew them freaky ass symbols all over the mirror in the motel room.”

  “What symbols?

  I perked up once again. This was the first I’d heard about her having drawn anything in the room, and I hadn’t been inside it myself to see. At the time, investigating a crime scene hadn’t been at the top of my list, protecting my wife had.

  “Yeah, what symbols?” I asked.

  “The one’s you said were all about that Voodoo stuff.”

  “The veve?”

  “Yeah.” He nodded then finished off the sandwich in a single bite before adding, “Those things. Right there on the mirror in bright red lipstick.”

  Felicity frowned. “I don’t remember that.”

  “Why didn’t you say anything about this before?” I asked.

  “I couldn’t,” he replied. “I think I ‘splained that to ya’ about forty times in the last few days.”

  “Okay, not that I’m wanting to help the prosecutor build a case or anything, but isn’t that pretty incriminating in and of itself?”

  “Well, yeah, but it’s still circumstantial, and there’s no actual proof that Firehair drew ‘em. I mean, I think we can all be pretty sure she did, but there were people in and out of that room before she got there.” He looked over to my wife. “Not to mention the lipstick in your purse didn’t match, and they never found any in the room that did. So, by itself, not so solid.

  “But when they got the DNA, that just became some more circumstantial filler. Then, after the DNA went south, it was back to bein’ nothin’ but suspicion. Now ya’ got reasonable doubt and nothin’ ta’ counter it with.”

  “So Felicity is still under suspicion?”

  “Some people still got some questions, but like I said, the DNA pretty much cleared ‘er even if it was freaky close. Although, because of that, there’s a new prevailing theory that she might still be in on it and is just coverin’ up for a sibling.”

  “That’s ridiculous!” Felicity snapped.

  “Hey, it’s not my theory.”

  “Well, as far as that goes,” she continued, “I don’t know what to tell you. Unless my brother is running around in drag doing this, it’s got to be some kind of bizarre fluke.”

  “Well, it’s definitely female DNA,” Ben added. “So I think your brother is safe on this one. Speakin’ of him, everything okay there?”

  “Yeah,” I said with a nod. “With him, anyway. Can’t vouch for the rest of the family.”

  “Aye, I’d rather not get into that,” Felicity interjected coldly.

  “Yeah, me either.”

  “So, you’re absolutely sure ya’ don’t have a sister?” Ben tossed the question out again.

  “I already said so, didn’t I?”

  “Yeah, but are ya’ sure is what I’m askin’.”

  “Look, Ben, when I was a child, like most little girls, I wanted a sister, yes,” she replied with an annoyed sigh. “But I sure as hell didn’t manifest one. So, yes, I’m sure I don’t have a sister. Only a brother.”

  “Well, I know ya’ didn’t wanna talk family,” he pressed. “But ya’ might wanna open a coupla’ closets ‘cause the lab guy says he’d bet hard money you do.”

  *****

  “So…is this it?” I asked, looking across the table at my wife. “The ‘nothing’?”

  “The what?” Felicity returned her own query, only briefly glancing up from the box she was unpacking.

  “This,” I said, pulling a dark purple bag from a cardboard box and hefting it up in front of her. “When I saw you on Saturday you tried to tell me something about an overnight bag, but we got interrupted. So, I just kind of assumed it was something the police had in their possession.

  “Then today when we were talking to Ben, something about evidence taken from the house had you a bit on edge, and when I asked you about it…”

  “I said, it was nothing.” She finished the sentence for me.

  True to what Ben had told us, the recovery of our seized property was far easier than I had expected it to be. In fact, the drive downtown and back took longer than the actual paperwork. The only requirement over and above that which he had detailed for us was that I also needed to show my handgun permit in order to get my confiscated revolver returned to me. Fortunately, I had anticipated such and had it in my wallet.

  While there, Felicity had quickly inventoried the items against the voucher and everything appeared to be intact. Everything that was on the official list, anyway, because at the time of seizure, I had angrily signed the piece of paper they presented with little more than a quick glance. All I had wanted right at that moment was to get them out of my house, so I wasn’t using the best judgment. The truth was, they could have walked out with things they didn’t bother to list, but there wasn’t much I could do about that at this point. I was going to have to take them at their word.

  We had only just returned ho
me and unloaded the trio of boxes from the back of my wife’s Jeep. Immediately emptying them of their contents and putting things back where they belonged seemed like the best thing to do, rather than have them sit around as a reminder of the legally sanctioned violation of our lives. So, that task became the undertaking of the moment.

  The overnight bag just happened to be at the top of the pile in the first box I opened.

  “Umm…yes,” she spoke again after a long pause then repeated while still staring at the bag, “Yes, that’s it. I’d actually almost forgotten about it until this morning…actually, you weren’t supposed to get that box…I must have mixed them up.”

  “Okay,” I said with a shrug then placed the weighty carryall on the seat of the dining room chair between us. “Then I’ll forget about it too.”

  I was lying. I wasn’t going to forget about it. There was really no way that I could. The urgency in her voice when she had first mentioned the overnight bag back at the Justice Center still hadn’t left me. Then, there was the “nothing” comment on top of it. Obviously something about it concerned her greatly. Even more so, what my impression of it, or something inside it, would be. Therefore, although my mind had placed the snippet of conversation in a holding pattern for the past few days, it was still there. Seeing the bag now had simply returned it to the forefront.

  My curiosity, however, was going to need to remain unquenched. Whatever the mysterious purple bag held was apparently deeply personal for Felicity, otherwise I would have known of it before now. Violating its sanctity would make me no different than those who had already crossed that boundary, and pressing her to talk about it would only demonstrate distrust on my part.

  I delved back into the box before me and began extracting the stack of books lined in the bottom. I was going to need to sort them out and return a few to the library sometime this week. I was on my third handful of the tomes when Felicity spoke.

  “You want to know what’s in it, don’t you.” She wasn’t asking a question, she was making an observation.

  I looked up at her and shrugged again. “No. It’s not important.”

  “You’re lying.”

  “Yeah, so?”

  “It’s just…I mean…It’s…”

  “Honey, don’t worry about it.”

  “I can’t not,” she appealed. “I don’t want you to distrust me.”

  “Why would I distrust you?”

  “For keeping something from you.” She motioned toward the bag and added, “For keeping this from you.”

  I stopped what I was doing and slowly let out a thoughtful breath. I couldn’t be sure if she was opening the door and inviting me in or if it was only cracked enough to pull the safety chain taut, affording her the ability to slam it in my face if I misspoke.

  I took in a fresh breath and smiled. “Not long ago, a dear and very wise friend told me that we all keep secrets, even from those we love. And, that sometimes we do so for that very reason. Out of love.”

  She cast a glance toward the bag and fidgeted nervously for a moment then looked back to my face. “Helen.”

  “Yes. Helen.”

  “What else did she tell you?”

  “Nothing I didn’t already know.”

  She remained silent in the wake of my answer, so I continued. “Felicity, Gods know I’ve kept things from you over the past few years. Things about cases I’ve helped work, things about visions I’ve had. Believe me, there are still some things locked away in my head that I haven’t told anyone, especially you, all purely out of love and my desire to keep you safe. So, you see, it’s a two-way street.”

  “But, that’s different,” she objected.

  I shook my head. “Not really. Obviously whatever is in that bag is something you think may hurt me or change the way I feel about you. Correct?”

  “Aye.”

  “Then it’s no different, and there’s nothing to worry about.”

  “Are you certain?” she asked tentatively.

  “Yes.”

  “I just want to be sure,” she said. “I need to know that you trust me.”

  “I do.”

  “Even with this between us?” She nodded toward the bag.

  “Let me ask you this. Do you want to show me what’s in there?”

  Again she cast a furtive glance at the duffle, dwelled there for a moment, and then looked back to me. “I don’t know yet.”

  “Okay, then, you don’t have to. I trust you. And, I trust that if you ever decide you want me to know this particular secret, you’ll share it.”

  “How can you be so sure, when I’m not?”

  “Easy. You sat in our kitchen around two weeks ago and announced that you had a fairly rich history with the bondage sub-culture. That was something new to me.”

  “Yes, but that just sort of came out. I think it might have been the circumstances, the investigation and such because I even surprised myself by saying it. I wasn’t really thinking.”

  “I’m sure it probably was the situation, and actually you really were thinking, sweetheart. You knew you could shed some light on a minor mystery and you did. Admitting how you knew the things you did was merely a natural progression from there.”

  “At the time it seemed okay,” she replied. “But, after the fact, I was afraid I’d made a very bad mistake in telling you.”

  “Honey, I may not have known about the history, but I can’t say I was surprised. You’ve got the personality. I even told you that.”

  She let out a nervous laugh. “Aye, I know I do.”

  “And, there you have the answer to your question. The reason I can be sure is because I am fully aware that if and when it comes time for me to know, you’ll tell me.”

  The trepidation faded from her face, and she finally managed a tentative smile. “Have I told you today that I love you, Rowan Linden Gant?”

  “A couple of times, but I can stand hearing it again.”

  Wednesday, November 23

  11:04 P.M.

  Baton Rouge, Louisiana

  CHAPTER 24:

  The hunger was coming upon her again.

  Only a little more than two weeks had passed since Saint Louis, and here it was creeping into her again. This was too soon.

  It was like a drug. An addiction she just couldn’t shake, and there were no steps to help her cope. Homicidal Sadists Anonymous simply didn’t exist, not in any phone book she had seen.

  She was coming.

  And, She wasn’t going to take no for an answer. She never did no matter how much she begged.

  “Where had it all gone wrong?” she wondered. “When had it taken this turn down a dark and dead-end path?”

  She couldn’t remember. Or, maybe it wasn’t that she couldn’t. Perhaps it was that she didn’t want to. The pleasure was her reward, and the reward was sweet.

  There was a time she knew she should have heeded the warnings. Seen the signs. Run when she had the chance. But that was all in the past. Now she belonged to Her, and there was no escape, even if she wanted it.

  And, sometimes she did, though she wasn’t sure why.

  She rolled over in the bed and lifted her arm to her face, inspecting it in the dim light. Softly, she caressed the scar where she had once sliced into her own wrist in a bid for escape. She wondered if perhaps she should try again before She arrived. That was the only thing that had saved her then. She had made her call 9-1-1, and the paramedics had arrived just in time.

  No, if she tried to kill herself, She would just save her again. Besides, this feeling of dread always came just before She arrived, and it always passed.

  No. She would simply wait it out. The bad feelings would be gone soon, and the pleasure would come in their place.

  It’s not that she didn’t enjoy the things she did whenever She was with her. She always enjoyed herself. She always had. Even before She came along, sex had never been satisfying unless she was in complete control, and even then it was mediocre. Often, even disappointing. />
  But, dark thoughts sometimes become dark actions, and with those actions come discovery. Her revelation had come so many years ago it seemed like forever. And, yet it seemed like yesterday.

  She bent her knees and kicked then grasped the sheet in her hand and whipped it back in the darkness. Just thinking about it made an unreachable itch begin down below. She was already getting hot, and the cool air in the room felt refreshing against her warm skin. Staring at the ceiling, she wondered about the boy and what he was doing now. She couldn’t even remember his name.

  Mike…

  Joe…

  Kevin…

  It didn’t matter. There had been so many since him, and she couldn’t remember their names either. But, they say you never forget your first, and she hadn’t.

  Even if she couldn’t remember his name, she could remember the details…

  She was a college freshman, and he was an upperclassman. While he certainly wasn’t innocent, she was as far removed from virtuous as anyone could be, even if no one was the wiser. He’d been begging her for a date for more than a month, and it amused her. So much so, that it had set her mind to work.

  When she finally agreed, it was on her terms, as always. She strung him along for two weeks, promising everything and giving nothing, just as she would do with any other boy. But, for this one, she had bigger plans. When she was certain he was primed and ready, she gave in, or so she led him to believe.

  The room had been dank and dingy. The decor was so far out of date as to not even have a recognizable style. She was certain that it had been cheap, but for her purposes she didn’t care. Besides, she was the one who picked out the fleabag motel in the first place.

  It was private, sitting along a secluded stretch of blacktop just outside of town. It was a place where no one asked questions about what went on behind the red, chipped paint of the scuffed doors. It was perfect.

  Had it been up to him, they would have just made it in his room at the fraternity house, but she had needed the privacy for her plans. She had insisted that he get the room, and by that point she was sure his family jewels were probably navy blue, so it wasn’t hard to get him to shell out the cash.