Rock & Regrets

by Cassandra Lawson

  “I wonder if he’s seen them,” she pondered around her laughter.

  “It’s hard to say,” I remarked.

  We were sitting in the wireless store, waiting for my turn with a customer service representative. I was still more than a little scatterbrained, which was my excuse for losing my phone. I’d called all the places I’d been, but no one had seen my missing phone. Someone had likely picked it up. I hadn’t even thought to call the carrier to have my service temporarily suspended until I’d gotten to the store to buy a new phone.

  “I guess we’ll find out soon,” she mused. “If he’s seen the picture, your phone will be blowing up with calls and messages from him trying to explain what happened.”

  “He has to know I’m not going to freak out over this,” I argued.

  “Not when he hasn’t been able to reach you for more than a day,” she pointed out. “I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s already considering flying home to make sure you know he wasn’t cheating on you.”

  “He’s a dumbass if he does that,” I grumbled.

  “A dumbass you love,” she reminded me.

  Her phone buzzed, and she checked the number before saying, “Hold that thought. Andy’s calling. Hey, sweetie.” She paused to listen to what he had to say before muttering, “I told Piper he’d freak out over this. I didn’t tell you because we just found out about the photos. What did you tell him?”

  She looked at me. “Andy didn’t tell Austin about you losing your phone. He was busy, and Austin threw him off when he mentioned the photos.”

  Andy was working at Euphoria part of the time since Austin’s cousin was buying the club. It seemed Austin had called Euphoria, probably hoping to speak to me.

  “What exactly did he tell him?” I asked.

  “What did you tell Austin?” she asked Andy. She listened before sighing. “She’ll have her phone soon, so she can talk him down from the ledge. Love you, too.”

  After ending the call, Cerise looked over at me and asked, “Do you remember Austin’s phone number?”

  I shook my head. “Who remembers phone numbers anymore?”

  “He’ll call after you get your new phone turned on,” she told me.

  “I can’t believe he’s freaking out,” I muttered. “I already know groupies throw themselves at him. Even if he can’t reach me, he shouldn’t be panicking.”

  “It’s only natural for him to worry,” she insisted.

  “It’s not,” I argued. “That dumbass needs to trust me.”

  “Is it possible your pregnancy hormones are making you overact a teensy bit?” she asked. When I glared at her, she said, “Or not. Just give him a break.”

  Before I could respond, my name was called. Cerise was right. I wasn’t going to start a fight with Austin over his lack of faith in me, even if it made me wonder if we were ready to take the next step in our relationship.

  Chapter 75

  Austin

  At my age, I should know not to call anyone when I’m drunk. There is no such thing as a good drunk call.

  When dealing with drunk callers, there are different types. You’ve got the pitiful drunk callers, who cry and bring up every unfair thing that’s ever happened to them. There are the nostalgic drunk callers, who contact past lovers, no longer remembering why they broke up in the first place. One can’t forget the angry drunks, who say stuff they will definitely regret when alcohol is no longer making them pissed at the world. As for me, I’m a stupid drunk. The part of my brain that warns me when I’m about to say something stupid shuts off, and the part that comes up with stupid things to say starts working overtime.

  “Did you get his phone?” Gage asked after he helped Xander and Harley get me into my bed at the hotel.

  “Got it,” Xander assured him, holding up my phone.

  “Asshole,” I accused.

  “You’ll thank us for taking your phone when you sober up,” Harley insisted.

  Even in my drunken state, the distant voice of reason agreed with her. Still, that’s not what I said. Instead, I said something profane that I’d need to apologize for in the morning.

  As soon as my friends left the room, I rolled onto my back and stared up at the ceiling before pulling Bentley’s phone from my jacket pocket. I wasn’t drunk enough that I didn’t know my friends were going to take my phone, so I’d grabbed Bentley’s while she was distracted. I planned to text Gage from Bentley’s phone after I talked to Piper so they wouldn’t tear apart the bar looking for it.

  Piper answered on the second ring. “Hello.”

  “So, you’ll answer calls from Bentley?” I asked, the accusation clear in my slurred voice.

  Piper let out a frustrated breath before asking, “Is this really how you want to start this conversation?”

  “We wouldn’t even be having this conversation if I hadn’t called from Bentley’s phone,” I accused. “You don’t answer my calls. I get no chance to explain.”

  “You’re drunk. For that reason, I’m going to let your dick attitude slide this one time, but you had better get it together. If you can’t get it together drunk, then call me when you sober up.”

  “So you can send my calls to voicemail again?” I demanded. “Just say it. You don’t trust me.”

  “You are acting like a complete asshole, Austin,” she snapped. “I lost my phone early yesterday and didn’t get a replacement until today, right before I needed to go to work. I also don’t have your number memorized or written down. The store couldn’t retrieve any of the information from my old phone.”

  A smart man would listen to what she was saying and apologize. I’m never smart when I’m drunk. “Bullshit. You want to have one more thing to blame me for. No matter how hard I try, you don’t trust me. You think I cheated on you because you don’t want to give me a chance.”

  “You moronic son of a bitch,” she ground out. “I saw those ridiculous pictures when I was with Cerise. We both laughed.”

  “Why would you laugh?” I asked hesitantly.

  “I trust you, Austin,” she snapped. “There wasn’t one second where I thought you were cheating on me.”

  “There wasn’t?” I asked slowly, my brain finally beginning to process what an idiot I was.

  “I do,” she said in a sad voice. “The problem doesn’t seem to be with me trusting you, but with you trusting me.”

  “It looked bad when you didn’t call me or return my texts,” I explained helplessly.

  “It looked bad when you had a girl on your lap, kissing you,” she countered. “I still trusted you. I didn’t jump to conclusions or call you drunk and throw a bunch of accusations at you.”

  “Piper—”

  “Don’t!” she snapped. “I am not in the mood to have this conversation with you. Go to bed and sleep it off.”

  “I’m sorry,” I whispered.

  “I can’t talk to you right now,” was her reply. She didn’t give me a chance to say more; she simply ended the call.

  “Fuck,” I muttered, having proven again that it was never a good idea to call someone when I was drunk.

  Chapter 76

  Piper

  I wouldn’t say I was completely avoiding Austin. I’d responded to his text messages, but I had made it clear I wasn’t ready to talk to him. The text messages were my concession. It hurt that he had so little faith in me, and I needed time to get over it. His drunken apology definitely hadn’t cut it.

  I’d just taken Mercy to a doctor’s appointment, and I was helping her up the steps to her condo. It would have been easier if she wasn’t so covered up. Her bulky trench coat was making it hard to maneuver.

  “Do you need any help?” a guy called out from the bottom of the stairs.

  “No,” Mercy snapped at him.

  “We’ve got it,” I assured her nice, and very attractive, neighbor with the sexy British accent. “Thank you for offering.”

  With a nod, he continued walking.

  “Who was that?” I asked.

>   “My noisy new neighbor,” Mercy grumbled as we entered her condo. “Until I had a porn addict living in the condo behind mine, I had no clue how thin the walls are here.”

  “Porn addict?” I asked with a laugh.

  “Oh, yeah,” she muttered. “At least, three nights a week, I get to listen to fake screams.”

  “How do you know they’re fake?” I asked.

  “I can tell,” she assured me. “No woman sounds like the ones I hear through my bedroom wall.”

  “I hardly think watching porn a few nights a week makes him an addict,” I argued.

  “Fine,” she relented. “He’s probably not an addict, but he doesn’t need to play it that loud.”

  “Have you asked him to keep it down?” I asked.

  “Not exactly,” she replied as she sat on the sofa, looking totally exhausted. “I banged on my bedroom wall and used my best old lady voice to tell him that decent folk were trying to sleep.”

  Her response made me giggle. “Did he turn it down?”

  “A little,” she replied. “I cannot stand that man.”

  “He is cute,” I told her.

  “Who cares?” she asked. “He’s a horrible neighbor.”

  “He offered to help you up the stairs,” I reminded her.

  “Still a jerk,” she insisted.

  I decided to let that go. He was cute, but I could see how having a noisy neighbor would irritate Mercy. I’d probably feel the same if I had to listen to someone else’s porn. There were good reasons for having Cerise and Andy’s room at the far end of my house, and noisy sex was at the top of that list.

  “Can I grab you something to eat?” I asked.

  “Nah,” she replied with a shake of her head. “That burger you made me eat before my appointment filled me up. So, are you ready to talk about what’s going on with Austin? Bennie mentioned you’re fighting.”

  “We’re not exactly fighting.” I gave her a brief rundown of what had happened.

  “I don’t think you should hold the stuff he said when he was drunk against him,” she remarked.

  “It’s not what he said when he was drunk that bothers me,” I insisted. “I’m annoyed that he got drunk because he doesn’t think I trust him.”

  “Try looking at it from his perspective,” she began. “Those pictures look damning. It’s only natural he’d worry about how you’d perceive them.”

  “You’re right,” I agreed. “I can definitely see why he’d worry. I can also understand how my phone being lost made him worry more. That all makes perfect sense.”

  “But you’re still mad at him,” she finished for me. “I think you should forgive him.”

  “I have forgiven him. It’s not a matter of whether or not I can forgive him. It’s about whether I can deal with this again. Austin travels, and we’re going to spend months apart. There will always be women throwing themselves at him. There will always be tabloid articles about him cheating on me.”

  Mercy nodded her understanding. “Bentley wasn’t sure if she could deal with that when she started seeing Gage.”

  “I can deal with it,” I assured her. “When I saw those photos and the article, there wasn’t a moment of doubt for me. I know Austin wouldn’t cheat on me. Austin doubting my faith in him this time could be a fluke. Now that he’s seen how much I trust him, maybe he won’t pull this crap again.”

  “It could be a one-time thing,” she agreed.

  “But what if it isn’t?” I asked. “No matter how much I love Austin, I’m not going to deal with this kind of thing all the time. I’m going to be a mother. This drama is the last thing I need.”

  She nodded her understanding. “I can see why that would bother you. You have more to consider than yourself.”

  Mercy hadn’t been in anything resembling a relationship for a long time, because she hated drama. While I hadn’t heard the details, I knew this stemmed from more than one bad relationship.

  “Thank you for not blaming this on pregnancy hormones,” I told her.

  My phone buzzed with a text from Austin, and I sighed.

  “Is that Austin?” she asked.

  I nodded. “He’s having a hard time with me not talking to him. I feel a little guilty about avoiding him.”

  “Then you should talk to him.” When I was about to argue, she continued. “You love Austin, and you’re having his baby. I know giving him a chance is scary because he might let you down, but you should at least let him try to make this up to you.”

  “I’m going to,” I assured her. “Let’s talk about something else.”

  “What do you have in mind?” she asked. “As long as we don’t have to talk about how I feel about being shot, I’m fine with any topic.”

  “Baking,” I replied. “Let’s talk about those donuts you made.”

  Mercy grinned. “So, you like my donuts?”

  “They’re amazing,” I praised.

  “I think I may know what I’m going to do for my next business venture,” she remarked.

  “Open a bakery?” I asked.

  “No,” she replied emphatically. “I was thinking more along the lines of a cookbook.”

  “That could be fun,” I agreed.

  “And safe,” she added quietly.

  Mercy tried hard to appear strong, but she wasn’t handling being shot very well. I slipped an arm around her shoulders.

  “I never would have guessed that safety would become the one thing I craved most in a job,” I said softly.

  “Me neither,” she admitted. “Is that why you quit your job at Euphoria.”

  “No,” I replied with slight smile. “It’s not the best job now that I’m going to be a mom. I didn’t exactly quit. This is just a job change. The pay cut sucks, but I’ll get by.”

  “You can also sue Austin for a boat load of child support,” she pointed out. “When do you plan to tell him?”

  “After he gets back,” I replied.

  “I guess that should work since you aren’t showing yet and may not be when he gets back.”

  “If I’m showing when he gets back, it will be easier,” I teased. “Then I can walk around looking pregnant until he figures it out.”

  Mercy giggled. “You wouldn’t!”

  “No,” I assured her with a laugh. “Austin will hear about the little peanut as soon as he gets back, no matter how I feel about us.”

  Chapter 77

  Austin

  It was several hours later when Piper finally responded to my text message.

  Piper: Sorry it took so long to get back to you. I was with Mercy when you texted me. It was a busy day.

  Austin: It’s okay. I know you have other things going on. How is Mercy doing?

  Piper: Better than most would under the circumstances.

  Austin: Bentley is worried about her.

  Piper: I’m sure she is, but Mercy is going to be fine. She’s one of the strongest people I know. Me? I’m a bigger mess than she is about everything.

  Piper: At least, I think I am.

  Austin: Can you talk now?

  Her response took so long that I was certain her answer would be no. The longer she avoided talking to me, the more I worried she was getting ready to end things. Piper loved me, but she didn’t seem inclined to forgive me. While I regretted calling her drunk and acting like a dick, I was annoyed that she wasn’t willing to let it go. Then again, maybe I’d already used up my allotment of fuck ups with Piper. I’d definitely had some big ones.

  Piper: Sure.

  I stared at the screen, certain I must be seeing things, but I wasn’t. Piper was finally going to talk to me.

  She answered on the first ring. “Hi.”

  That one word proved how far gone I was for this woman. I’d missed the sound of her voice so much that I wanted to sigh with relief. “Hey. I’m glad you’re finally speaking to me again.”

  “It was ridiculous for me to pretend I wasn’t talking to you when you were texting me all the time, and I was reply
ing,” she admitted.

  “Do you have any idea how much I’ve missed the sound of your voice?” I asked in a rough voice. I wanted her by my side. There were only three more stops on the tour, but they were annoyingly spread apart. It would be twenty-five days until I was with her again.

  “I miss you, too,” she replied. That part was great, but what she said next wasn’t. “This is for the best.”

  “Not from where I’m sitting,” I muttered. “I’m really sorry about how I acted the last time we talked.”

  “I know you are,” she assured me. “This isn’t about me not believing you’re sorry or not being able to forgive you. I’m not trying to hold an angry grudge over this. I’m just worried.”

  “That it will happen again,” I finished for her. “I wish I could promise it won’t. I’d love to find words to make you feel better about all of this, but I don’t know how. It would be a lie to say I’m not going to fuck up again. One thing I know for certain is I love you.”

  “I love you, too, Austin,” she replied softly.

  “You should take some time off from work and fly out to see me,” I suggested. “I miss you so much.”

  “I really can’t. There’s a lot going on.” I heard her struggle to keep her emotions under control. “I decided it was time for a career change.”

  “You did?” I asked in surprise. If she’d quit her job, I wasn’t certain why she couldn’t fly out to finish off the tour with me.

  “I still have to go into Euphoria part-time until your cousin has everything settled with the employee taking over as manager,” she added.

  “My cousin?” I asked. Euphoria was a subject Piper hadn’t brought up often. She’d seemed reluctant to talk about it at all.

  “Mercy is selling Euphoria to him,” she explained.

  “That explains why Andy was at Euphoria,” I mused. I hadn’t even thought to ask.

  “He’s helping out some,” she added. “My assistant manager is taking over managing the club soon.”

  “Why did you quit your job?” I asked.

  Piper didn’t respond right away, making me worry she wasn’t being completely honest about how she was handling the aftermath of her attack. “It was time,” she finally replied.