The Life of Samuel Johnson

by James Boswell

  BOSWELL. ‘I wish to have a good walled garden.’ JOHNSON. ‘I don’t think it would be worth the expence to you. We compute in England, a park wall at a thousand pounds a mile; now a garden-wall must cost at least as much. You intend your trees should grow higher than a deer will leap. Now let us see; for a hundred pounds you could only have forty-four square yards, which is very little; for two hundred pounds, you may have eighty-four square yards, which is very well. But when will you get the value of two hundred pounds of walls, in fruit, in your climate? No, Sir, such contention with Nature is not worth while. I would plant an orchard, and have plenty of such fruit as ripen well in your country. My friend, Dr. Madden, of Ireland, said, that “in an orchard there should be enough to eat, enough to lay up, enough to be stolen, and enough to rot upon the ground.” Cherries are an early fruit, you may have them; and you may have the early apples and pears.’ BOSWELL. ‘We cannot have nonpareils.’1117 JOHNSON. ‘Sir, you can no more have nonpareils than you can have grapes.’ BOSWELL. ‘We have them, Sir; but they are very bad.’ JOHNSON. ‘Nay, Sir, never try to have a thing merely to shew that you cannot have it. From ground that would let for forty shillings you may have a large orchard; and you see it costs you only forty shillings. Nay, you may graze the ground when the trees are grown up; you cannot while they are young.’ BOSWELL. ‘Is not a good garden a very common thing in England, Sir?’ JOHNSON. ‘Not so common, Sir, as you imagine. In Lincolnshire there is hardly an orchard; in Staffordshire very little fruit.’ BOSWELL. ‘Has Langton no orchard?’Johnson. ‘No, Sir.’ BOSWELL. ‘How so, Sir?’Johnson. ‘Why, Sir, from the general negligence of the county. He has it not, because nobody else has it.’ BOSWELL. ‘A hot-house is a certain thing; I may have that.’ JOHNSON. ‘A hot-house is pretty certain; but you must first build it, then you must keep fires in it, and you must have a gardener to take care of it.’ BOSWELL. ‘But if I have a gardener at any rate? – ‘JOHNSON. ‘Why, yes.’ Boswell. I’d have it near my house; there is no need to have it in the orchard.’ JOHNSON. ‘Yes, I’d have it near my house. I would plant a great many currants; the fruit is good, and they make a pretty sweetmeat.’

  I record this minute detail, which some may think trifling, in order to shew clearly how this great man, whose mind could grasp such large and extensive subjects, as he has shewn in his literary labours, was yet well-informed in the common affairs of life, and loved to illustrate them.

  Mr. Walker, the celebrated master of elocution, came in, and then we went up stairs into the study. I asked him if he had taught many clergymen. JOHNSON. ‘I hope not.’ WALKER. ‘I have taught only one, and he is the best reader I ever heard, not by my teaching, but by his own natural talents.’ JOHNSON. ‘Were he the best reader in the world, I would not have it told that he was taught.’ Here was one of his peculiar prejudices. Could it be any disadvantage to the clergyman to have it known that he was taught an easy and graceful delivery? BOSWELL. ‘Will you not allow, Sir, that a man may be taught to read well?’ JOHNSON. ‘Why, Sir, so far as to read better than he might do without being taught, yes. Formerly it was supposed that there was no difference in reading, but that one read as well as another.’ BOSWELL. ‘It is wonderful to see old Sheridan as enthusiastick about oratory as ever.’ WALKER. ‘His enthusiasm as to what oratory will do, may be too great: but he reads well.’ JOHNSON. ‘He reads well, but he reads low; and you know it is much easier to read low than to read high; for when you read high, you are much more limited, your loudest note can be but one, and so the variety is less in proportion to the loudness. Now some people have occasion to speak to an extensive audience, and must speak loud to be heard.’ WALKER. ‘The art is to read strong, though low.’

  Talking of the origin of language; JOHNSON. ‘It must have come by inspiration. A thousand, nay, a million of children could not invent a language. While the organs are pliable, there is not understanding enough to form a language; by the time that there is understanding enough, the organs are become stiff. We know that after a certain age we cannot learn to pronounce a new language. No foreigner, who comes to England when advanced in life, ever pronounces English tolerably well; at least such instances are very rare. When I maintain that language must have come by inspiration, I do not mean that inspiration is required for rhetorick, and all the beauties of language; for when once man has language, we can conceive that he may gradually form modifications of it. I mean only, that inspiration seems to me to be necessary to give man the faculty of speech; to inform him that he may have speech; which I think he could no more find out without inspiration, than cows or hogs would think of such a faculty.’ WALKER. ‘Do you think, Sir, that there are any perfect synonimes in any language?’ JOHNSON. ‘Originally there were not; but by using words negligently, or in poetry, one word comes to be confounded with another.’

  He talked of Dr. Dodd. ‘A friend of mine, (said he,) came to me and told me, that a lady wished to have Dr. Dodd’s picture in a bracelet, and asked me for a motto. I said, I could think of no better than Currat Lex.1118I was very willing to have him pardoned, that is, to have the sentence changed to transportation: but, when he was once hanged, I did not wish he should be made a saint.’

  Mrs. Burney, wife of his friend Dr. Burney, came in, and he seemed to be entertained with her conversation.

  Garrick’s funeral was talked of as extravagantly expensive. JOHNSON, from his dislike to exaggeration, would not allow that it was distinguished by any extraordinary pomp. ‘Were there not six horses to each coach?’ said Mrs. Burney. JOHNSON. ‘Madam, there were no more six horses than six phœnixes.’

  Mrs. Burney wondered that some very beautiful new buildings should be erected in Moorfields, in so shocking a situation as between Bedlam and St. Luke’s Hospital; and said she could not live there. JOHNSON. ‘Nay, Madam, you see nothing there to hurt you. You no more think of madness by having windows that look to Bedlam, than you think of death by having windows that look to a church-yard.’ MRS. BURNEY. ‘We may look to a church-yard, Sir; for it is right that we should be kept in mind of death.’ JOHNSON. ‘Nay, Madam, if you go to that, it is right that we should be kept in mind of madness, which is occasioned by too much indulgence of imagination. I think a very moral use may be made of these new buildings: I would have those who have heated imaginations live there, and take warning.’ MRS. BURNEY. ‘But, Sir, many of the poor people that are mad, have become so from disease, or from distressing events. It is, therefore, not their fault, but their misfortune; and, therefore, to think of them is a melancholy consideration.’

  Time passed on in conversation till it was too late for the service of the church at three o’clock. I took a walk, and left him alone for some time; then returned, and we had coffee and conversation again by ourselves.

  I stated the character of a noble friend1119 of mine, as a curious case for his opinion: – ‘He is the most inexplicable man to me that I ever knew. Can you explain him, Sir? He is, I really believe, noble-minded, generous, and princely. But his most intimate friends may be separated from him for years, without his ever asking a question concerning them. He will meet them with a formality, a coldness, a stately indifference; but when they come close to him, and fairly engage him in conversation, they find him as easy, pleasant, and kind, as they could wish. One then supposes that what is so agreeable will soon be renewed; but stay away from him for half a year, and he will neither call on you, nor send to inquire about you.’ JOHNSON. ‘Why, Sir, I cannot ascertain his character exactly, as I do not know him; but I should not like to have such a man for my friend. He may love study, and wish not to be interrupted by his friends; Amid fures temporis.1120 He may be a frivolous man, and be so much occupied with petty pursuits, that he may not want friends. Or he may have a notion that there is a dignity in appearing indifferent, while he in fact may not be more indifferent at his heart than another.’

  We went to evening prayers at St. Clement’s, at seven, and then parted.

  On Sunday, April 20, being Easter-da
y, after attending solemn service at St. Paul’s, I came to Dr. Johnson, and found Mr. Lowe, the painter, sitting with him. Mr. Lowe mentioned the great number of new buildings of late in London, yet that Dr. Johnson had observed, that the number of inhabitants was not increased. JOHNSON. ‘Why, Sir, the bills of mortality prove that no more people die now than formerly; so it is plain no more live. The register of births proves nothing, for not one tenth of the people of London are born there.’ BOSWELL. ‘I believe, Sir, a great many of the children born in London die early.’ JOHNSON. ‘Why, yes, Sir.’ BOSWELL. ‘But those who do live, are as stout and strong people as any: Dr. Price says, they must be naturally stronger to get through.’ JOHNSON. ‘That is system, Sir. A great traveller observes, that it is said there are no weak or deformed people among the Indians; but he with much sagacity assigns the reason of this, which is, that the hardship of their life as hunters and fishers does not allow weak or diseased children to grow up. Now had I been an Indian, I must have died early; my eyes would not have served me to get food. I indeed now could fish, give me English tackle; but had I been an Indian I must have starved, or they would have knocked me on the head, when they saw I could do nothing.’ BOSWELL. ‘Perhaps they would have taken care of you: we are told they are fond of oratory, you would have talked to them.’ JOHNSON. ‘Nay, Sir, I should not have lived long enough to be fit to talk; I should have been dead before I was ten years old. Depend upon it, Sir, a savage, when he is hungry, will not carry about with him a looby of nine years old, who cannot help himself. They have no affection, Sir.’ BOSWELL. ‘I believe natural affection, of which we hear so much, is very small.’ JOHNSON. ‘Sir, natural affection is nothing: but affection from principle and established duty is sometimes wonderfully strong.’ Lowe. ‘A hen, Sir, will feed her chickens in preference to herself.’ JOHNSON. ‘But we don’t know that the hen is hungry; let the hen be fairly hungry, and I’ll warrant she’ll peck the corn herself. A cock, I believe, will feed hens instead of himself; but we don’t know that the cock is hungry.’ BOSWELL. ‘And that, Sir, is not from affection but gallantry. But some of the Indians have affection.’ JOHNSON. ‘Sir, that they help some of their children is plain; for some of them live, which they could not do without being helped.’

  I dined with him; the company were, Mrs. Williams, Mrs. Desmoulins, and Mr. Lowe. He seemed not to be well, talked little, grew drowsy soon after dinner, and retired, upon which I went away.

  Having next day gone to Mr. Burke’s seat in the country from whence I was recalled by an express, that a near relation of mine had killed his antagonist1121 in a duel, and was himself dangerously wounded, I saw little of Dr. Johnson till Monday, April 28, when I spent a considerable part of the day with him, and introduced the subject, which then chiefly occupied my mind. Johnson. ‘I do not see, Sir, that fighting is absolutely forbidden in Scripture; I see revenge forbidden, but not self-defence.’ BOSWELL. ‘The Quakers say it is; “Unto him that smiteth thee on one cheek, offer also the other.”’1122 Johnson. ‘But stay, Sir; the text is meant only to have the effect of moderating passion; it is plain that we are not to take it in a literal sense. We see this from the context, where there are other recommendations, which I warrant you the Quaker will not take literally; as, for instance, “From him that would borrow of thee, turn thou not away.”1123Let a man whose credit is bad, come to a Quaker, and say, “Well, Sir, lend me a hundred pounds:” he’ll find him as unwilling as any other man. No, Sir, a man may shoot the man who invades his character, as he may shoot him who attempts to break into his house.a So in 1745, my friend, Tom Cumming, the Quaker, said, he would not fight, but he would drive an ammunition cart; and we know that the Quakers have sent flannel waistcoats to our soldiers, to enable them to fight better.’ BOSWELL. ‘When a man is the aggressor, and by ill-usage forces on a duel in which he is killed, have we not little ground to hope that he is gone into a state of happiness?’ JOHNSON. ‘Sir, we are not to judge determinately of the state in which a man leaves this life. He may in a moment have repented effectually, and it is possible may have been accepted by God. There is in Camden’s Remains, an epitaph upon a very wicked man, who was killed by a fall from his horse, in which he is supposed to say,

  “Between the stirrup and the ground,

  I mercy ask’d, I mercy found.” ‘1124

  BOSWELL. ‘Is not the expression in the Burial-service, “in the sure and certain hope of a blessed resurrection,” too strong to be used indiscriminately, and, indeed, sometimes when those over whose bodies it is said, have been notoriously profane?’ JOHNSON. ‘It is sure and certain hope, Sir; not belief.’ I did not insist further; but cannot help thinking that less positive words would be more proper.b

  Talking of a man who was grown very fat, so as to be incommoded with corpulency; he said, ‘He eats too much, Sir.’ Boswell. ‘I don’t know, Sir, you will see one man fat who eats moderately, and another lean who eats a great deal.’ JOHNSON. ‘Nay, Sir, whatever may be the quantity that a man eats, it is plain that if he is too fat, he has eaten more than he should have done. One man may have a digestion that consumes food better than common; but it is certain that solidity is encreased by putting something to it.’ BOSWELL. ‘But may not solids swell and be distended?’ JOHNSON. ‘Yes, Sir, they may swell and be distended; but that is not fat.’

  We talked of the accusation against a gentleman1125 for supposed delinquencies in India. Johnson. ‘What foundation there is for accusation I know not, but they will not get at him. Where bad actions are committed at so great a distance, a delinquent can obscure the evidence till the scent becomes cold; there is a cloud between, which cannot be penetrated: therefore all distant power is bad. I am clear that the best plan for the government of India is a despotick governour; for if he be a good man, it is evidently the best government; and supposing him to be a bad man, it is better to have one plunderer than many. A governour whose power is checked, lets others plunder, that he himself may be allowed to plunder; but if despotick, he sees that the more he lets others plunder, the less there will be for himself, so he restrains them; and though he himself plunders, the country is a gainer, compared with being plundered by numbers.’

  I mentioned the very liberal payment which had been received for reviewing; and, as evidence of this, that it had been proved in a trial, that Dr. Shebbeare had received six guineas a sheet for that kind of literary labour. Johnson. ‘Sir, he might get six guineas for a particular sheet, but not communibus sheetibus.’1126 Boswell. ‘Pray, Sir, by a sheet of review is it meant that it shall be all of the writer’s own composition, or are extracts, made from the book reviewed, deducted?’ JOHNSON. ‘No, Sir: it is a sheet, no matter of what.’ BOSWELL. ‘I think that it is not reasonable.’ JOHNSON. ‘Yes, Sir, it is. A man will more easily write a sheet all his own, than read an octavo volume to get extracts.’ To one of Johnson’s wonderful fertility of mind I believe writing was really easier than reading and extracting; but with ordinary men the case is very different. A great deal, indeed, will depend upon the care and judgement with which the extracts are made. I can suppose the operation to be tedious and difficult: but in many instances we must observe crude morsels cut out of books as if at random; and when a large extract is made from one place, it surely may be done with very little trouble. One, however, I must acknowledge, might be led, from the practice of reviewers, to suppose that they take a pleasure in original writing; for we often find that, instead of giving an accurate account of what has been done by the authour whose work they are reviewing, which is surely the proper business of a literary journal, they produce some plausible and ingenious conceits of their own, upon the topicks which have been discussed.

  Upon being told that old Mr. Sheridan, indignant at the neglect of his oratorical plans,1127 had threatened to go to America; Johnson. ‘I hope he will go to America.’ BOSWELL. ‘The Americans don’t want oratory.’ JOHNSON. ‘But we can want Sheridan.’

  On Monday, April 29,1128I found him at home in the forenoo
n, and Mr. SEWARD with him. Horace having been mentioned; BOSWELL. ‘There is a great deal of thinking in his works. One finds there almost every thing but religion.’ SEWARD. ‘He speaks of his returning to it, in his Ode Parcus Deorum cultor et infrequens.’1129 JOHNSON. ‘Sir, he was not in earnest: this was merely poetical.’ BOSWELL. ‘There are, I am afraid, many people who have no religion at all.’ SEWARD. ‘And sensible people too.’ JOHNSON. ‘Why, Sir, not sensible in that respect. There must be either a natural or a moral stupidity, if one lives in a total neglect of so very important a concern.’ Seward. ‘I wonder that there should be people without religion.’ JOHNSON. ‘Sir, you need not wonder at this, when you consider how large a proportion of almost every man’s life is passed without thinking of it. I myself was for some years totally regardless of religion. It had dropped out of my mind. It was at an early part of my life. Sickness brought it back, and I hope I have never lost it since.’ BOSWELL. ‘My dear Sir, what a man must you have been without religion! Why you must have gone on drinking, and swearing, and – ‘JOHNSON. (with a smile,) ‘I drank enough and swore enough, to be sure.’ SEWARD. ‘One should think that sickness, and the view of death, would make more men religious.’ JOHNSON. ‘Sir, they do not know how to go about it: they have not the first notion. A man who has never had religion before, no more grows religious when he is sick, than a man who has never learnt figures can count when he has need of calculation.’