Catching Dragos

by Gail Koger

Of course they just had to pick one of the most dangerous locations on the planet. “You couldn’t find a better place to corral the dragons?”

  “It’s isolated, few humans dare enter the preserve, and the caverns are big enough to contain the dragons,” Grams answered.

  Yippee.

  Serafina stated, “Xero will fetch you.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  One minute we were standing in the Renaissance Festival arena, the next Xero, in her enormous white demon form, grabbed us. A tumbling orange vortex opened beneath us, and we were suddenly hurtling through purgatory. All nine of them. The screams of the damned seemed to go on forever. Intense heat and cold buffeted us. Demons, ghouls, and hell spawn of every sort gave chase.

  I buried my face in Xero’s fur and screeched, “Oh, my God. Oh, my God. They’re going to catch us.”

  Fabian shouted, “Where’s my sword?”

  “No need sword. Can’t hurt us,” Xero said.

  A scaly head with glowing yellow eyes and eight-inch fangs snapped at me. Its breath stunk of rotted meat.

  I shrieked, “Can’t hurt us? Another two inches, and it would have bitten my arm off!”

  A ghoul grabbed Fabian’s leg. He kicked it away. “Get us out of here. They can hurt us.”

  Another ghoul seized Xero’s foot and started gnawing on it.

  With a furious cry, Xero hurled us out of the vortex.

  We flew across the cactus-strewn desert and crashed into a stony, horseshoe-shaped ridge.

  The rising sun seeped over the mountains, turning the morning sky crimson.

  God, I hoped that wasn’t an omen. I plucked a prickly pear out of my butt. “Ouch!” I just had to land on a friggin’ cactus. My gaze narrowed on Xero. “We’re never doing that again. Do you hear me?”

  Xero cringed. “Me sorry.”

  Something moved in her stomach. “Shit. What is that? Did you pick up a hitchhiker?”

  “I was hungry.” Xero burped loudly and spat out a rotting skull. “Ghouls taste nasty.”

  I could only imagine.

  Fabian sat up and shook his head to clear it. “What happened?”

  “We just took a ride through the nine purgatories.”

  “That explains the smell.”

  We did reek of sulfur.

  My mate gave Xero the stink eye and helped me up.

  Xero morphed into her cute puppy form. “You mad?”

  “No, sweetie. It’s just… Uh, humans aren’t built to travel through the purgatories.”

  “Grams needed help. Said bring you fast. Took shortcut.”

  One very scary shortcut. I sucked in a startled breath as screams of the long dead echoed through my mind.

  My mate wrapped a comforting arm around me. “You okay?”

  I shuddered. “Hundreds died in this place.”

  “The ridge was used as the Aztecs’ sacrificial platform. They tore out their victims’ still-beating hearts and offered them to the Sun God.”

  Evil resonated from the mountain. “Those monsters deliberately bound their souls to this place,” I said.

  Fabian stroked my back. “It’s okay. My cousin, Zelda, freed their souls. All you’re sensing is the residual terror of those who died.”

  Relief flooded me. “Good. Wait a minute. What are Aztecs doing in Arizona?”

  “Montezuma sent them here to hide his gold from Cortez.”

  “Are you talking about the Seven Cities of Gold?”

  “I am.”

  Was Fabian pulling my leg? “Did you find it?”

  “We did,” Fabian said grimly.

  “And you’re what? A zillionaire now?”

  Fabian nipped my nose. “The gold is cursed. We left it where we found it.”

  “Smart move.” Unease knotted my stomach. “Grams, you do know this is sacred grounds?”

  “I’m well aware of that fact,” Grams snapped.

  Crap. That hadn’t come out right. “I’m not trying to piss you off, but the last time I checked, the Apache Thunder God had claimed the Superstition Mountains as his territory.”

  “Asmoday ate him last year,” Fabian informed me.

  “Oh, lucky us.” Now I felt stupid. “Well then, I guess the only thing we have to worry about are the dragons.”

  Xero yipped and danced around. “Me eat dragons.”

  “Your tummy isn’t big enough, sweetie.”

  “Is too.”

  The stony, horseshoe-shaped ridge began to glow a hellish orange.

  “That can’t be good.” I summoned my sword.

  Presto! Heavy gold shields appeared on our left arms.

  Her voice full of urgency, Serafina cried, “Get ready. Our containment field is failing.”

  Fabian tensed and raised Excalibur.

  The ridge pulsated and bowed outward.

  “Shit! It’s going to blow.” I grabbed Xero, and we retreated to a safe distance.

  Fabian pushed us under an overhang of rock.

  Boom!

  Boulders and rocky debris rained down, smashing the cacti and mesquite trees into itty-bitty pieces.

  A Hasai stuck its head out of the gaping hole and bellowed its defiance.

  “Time to kill the bloody bastards,” Fabian said, his voice low and lethal.

  “A man after my own heart.” I stepped to where the dragon could see me and yelled, “Is that the best you’ve got?”

  A thick stream of fire shot from the dragon, golden and greedy and unbelievably hot. It raced along the desert floor, eating its way toward me.

  Ducking behind my shield, I chanted, “Transferam nec facile utaiunt.”

  Whoosh! The flames blew back and engulfed the Hasai. It disintegrated into ash.

  Another dragon crawled out of the hole, and another and another. Their amber gaze fixed on me and as one, they roared in fury.

  “I think I pissed them off.”

  Fabian chuckled. “Tesoro, you could piss off the Pope. It seems that talent now extends to demons, dragons, and things that go bump in the night.”

  “Good, then they’ll think twice about messing with the Judge again. ’Cause now they know I can send them back to hell.”

  “You are definitely one of a kind.” Fabian gave me a smooch. “And you’re all mine.”

  “You’re such a sweet talker.” A sudden feeling of impending doom slammed into me. Something bad was heading our way. “Does it strike you as a bit odd that the dragons aren’t attacking?”

  “It does.” Fabian mentally scanned the area. “I’m not sensing any more hostiles.”

  “It’s almost like they are waiting for Rossi. There’s no way that fucktard could escape from purgatory, is there?”

  Fabian shrugged. “He’s stolen a slew of magical artifacts that can be used to escape from all nine levels.”

  “Now you decide to tell me?”

  “I tried to before, but I was interrupted.”

  “Uh-huh. So every time I send him to the underworld, the bastard can come back?”

  “Unless we can find a way to strip his magic or kill him.”

  Grams appeared beside me.

  I raised an eyebrow in concern. She was beat all to hell, and her caftan was a charred mess.

  She raised a finger. “Not a word.”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  Serafina popped in. She reminded me of a crispy-fried crow.

  Fabian’s worried gaze surveyed her. “Are you okay, Nonna?”

  “I live. It is enough,” Serafina rasped.

  “Ah, would you like a healing potion? I held out the bottle.

  She eyed the bottle like it was a nasty bug. “You made it?”

  “I did.”

  Grams plucked the bottle out of my hand and swallowed half of its contents. Her injuries vanished. She handed it to Serafina. “I taught my granddaughter potion making.”

  “Take the damn potion, Nonna. You need to be in figh
ting shape,” Fabian growled.

  With a grimace, Serafina downed the potion.

  The ground trembled beneath our feet.

  I looked around warily. “That can’t be good.”

  “Did Rossi summon another demon?” Fabian tightened his grip on Excalibur.

  Grams laughed. “Not demons.”

  Bony fingers poked through the desert floor.

  I giggled. “Aw. Would you look at that? Rossi summoned an army of the dead to take care of us.”

  A cold smile formed on Fabian’s mouth. “Guess he forgot you’re one hell of a ghost whisperer too.”

  “What a shame.” Serafina cackled.

  Dozens of mummified Aztec warriors crawled from their graves. Their petrified features peeked out from jaguar skulls, and their bodies were covered in rotted panther pelts.

  How many jaguars had they slaughtered to make their swell outfits? If they weren’t already dead, I’d want to sic PETA on their asses.

  Each warrior gripped a round wooden shield with a few tattered feathers still attached and a curved obsidian sword. They banged their blades against the shields and advanced on us.

  Summoning my powers, I chanted, “Gallice material transferm est quaedam.”

  Turquoise blue fireflies danced over the Aztecs, and they stopped.

  I could feel their rage and fierce desire for vengeance. “Grams, can you and Serafina drop them on top of the dragons?”

  Poof! The Aztec warriors suddenly rode the Hasais.

  “Kill the dragons,” I commanded the warriors.

  Their obsidian blades sliced through the dragons’ flesh like butter.

  Shrieking, the dragons took to the air, dipping and diving in an attempt to lose the Aztecs.

  For dead guys, the Aztecs were pretty damned nimble. They rode the bucking Hasais like professional bull riders and kept on hacking them to bits.

  One by one, the dragons fell. The earth shuddered from the impacts. An instant later they crumbled to dust.

  “Dominus unus morellus vindolan,” I chanted, freeing the Aztecs’ souls.

  Glowing blue orbs shot from the battered remains of the warriors, whizzed joyfully around us, and shot into the sky.

  Grams hugged me. “Nicely done.”

  “Thank you.” Some days I really loved being a ghost whisperer.

  “Mariah, behind you!” Fabian called urgently.

  I spun around and gaped in disbelief. Rossi didn’t know when to stop.

  A column of shriveled-up, arrow-riddled conquistador soldiers sat astride mummified horses.

  I eyed their oddly shaped helmets, rusty shields, and rotted crossbows. “I guess Cortez found the gold.”

  “They did, but an Apache raiding party slaughtered them before they could take it,” Fabian added grimly.

  That explained the arrows. I focused my power on them. “Gallice material transferm est quaedam.” Nothing happened. I tried again. “Gallice material transferm est quaedam.”

  Grams announced angrily, “Rossi controls them.”

  “Fuck,” Fabian and I said in unison.

  A big fanfare of bugles sounded.

  The demonic voices from the Cavern of the Damned wailed, “He comes. He comes. The master comes.”

  “Oh, my God, the pompous ass brought the demon king with him,” I groused.

  With a thunderous cracking boom, Rossi appeared. A badly mutilated snake hung around his neck. “Did you think you could defeat the greatest sorcerer that has ever lived?”

  “Yeah, we kinda did,” I muttered.

  Fabian’s gaze froze on the snake. “Is that Asmoday?”

  “What’s left of him,” Serafina answered.

  I patted Fabian’s hand. “Don’t worry; I’ll protect my honey bunny from the nasty little snake.”

  “Not funny.”

  Rossi looked around. “Where are my Hasais?”

  “Dead,” Grams responded.

  The creepy sorcerer shrieked, “What? That’s impossible!”

  “Not as all-seeing as you thought,” I interjected. “Oh yeah, I freed the Aztec warriors’ souls too.”

  With a roar of fury, Rossi shouted, “Kill them!”

  The conquistador soldiers obediently raised their crossbows and fired. The badly decayed wooden arrows simply crumbled.

  The stupefied expression on Rossi’s face was awesome.

  Fabian laughed. “Did you really expect five-hundred-year-old weapons to still work?”

  “Rossi’s power fails,” Serafina gloated.

  I perked up. “Best news I’ve heard all day.”

  Grams gestured, and the conquistadors literally fell to pieces.

  “Way to go, Grams.” I turned my attention to the fucking nuts sorcerer. “Your army is gone. What are you going to do now? Go to one of those theme parks and terrorize the crowds?”

  For a brief moment, fear flickered in Rossi’s eyes. “I’m going to eat your virgin’s heart.”

  Here we go again. “I. Am. Not. A virgin. Dickhead.”

  “You’re lying!”

  “No, she isn’t.” Fabian lips closed over mine in a toe-curling kiss. He raised his head and smirked. “Just ask Asmoday; he knows the truth.”

  The demon king quickly dropped to the ground and slithered away.

  His face bright red with rage, Rossi screamed, “You fucked her?”

  “Repeatedly.” Fabian nibbled on my ear.

  “I need a virgin. I need a damn virgin,” Rossi shrieked hysterically.

  Grams snickered. “Don’t look at me.”

  “Or me,” Serafina added with a chuckle.

  Xero hid behind Fabian’s leg. “Me virgin.”

  I patted her silky head. “The virgin needs to be human, sweetie. You’re safe.”

  “’Kay.”

  Fabian taunted, “What’s got your panties in a twist, Rossi? Lucifer after your sorry ass?”

  Rossi stomped his foot. “Lucifer fears me. He doesn’t dare touch me. He knows I can destroy him with a thought.”

  My jaw dropped. “Holy hell. He actually believes that.”

  “He’s a fool,” Grams agreed drily.

  Serafina’s head came up. “A fool who is about to die.”

  The sun turned bloodred.

  Lightning exploded from the earth and crackled wildly around Rossi.

  He yelped as the bolts struck him repeatedly in the butt. “I’m not afraid. I’m not. I’m the most powerful wizard that has ever lived. No one can defeat me.”

  I snorted. “The most powerful wizard just wet his pants.”

  A chaotic mass of black clouds roiled over the ground. The rotting corpse of an Apache warrior stepped out of the swirling mass. He lumbered clumsily toward us. A cloud of flies buzzed around his head.

  We all took an involuntary step back as the stench hit us.

  Serafina cried in amazement. “That’s the Apache Thunder God.”

  Nausea rose in my throat. The Apache was beyond gross. “I thought you said Asmoday ate him?”

  “He did.” Fabian eyed the Apache Thunder God warily. “My question is, who resurrected him?”

  “My money’s on Lucifer. He needs a powerful minion, and the Apache meets that qualification.” I watched in amazement as the Thunder God snatched up Asmoday and shoved the squirming snake in his mouth. Chomp.

  “Guess Lucifer’s a bit pissed Asmoday partnered up with Rossi,” I declared.

  Asmoday’s tail wiggled frantically.

  Chomp. The tail disappeared.

  The Apache Thunder God belched.

  My eyes began to water. Lordy. That was rank. My special mouthwash couldn’t even begin to compete.

  Rossi vanished.

  Ten seconds later he reappeared in the exact same spot. The sorcerer’s eyes bugged in horror. He disappeared again.

  Pop! He was back again. Rossi let out a wail. “Nooo! It’s not possible.”

  “Yo
u cannot escape Lucifer’s wrath,” the Apache Thunder God boomed.

  “Quibusdam proceribus potuero,” Rossi squeaked and gestured. An itty-bitty energy bolt shot from his hand and struck the Apache in the chest.

  The Thunder God’s laughter shook the surrounding hills.

  Rossi took off running.

  A flock of crows attacked him, driving him back toward the Thunder God.

  The Apache gestured and thousands of black beetles swarmed over the sorcerer, tearing at his flesh.

  “As much as I enjoy seeing Rossi getting his comeuppance, now might be a good time for us to leave,” I said.

  Grams nodded. “We do not want to draw the Thunder God’s attention.”

  “Me no like big scary,” Xero whined.

  Fabian scooped her up. “Smart girl.”

  Poof! We were back in the motor home.

  Chapter Fifteen

  I let out a breath of relief. We were safe.

  Fabian grabbed four beers out of the refrigerator. “Any chance of the Thunder God coming after us?” He handed one to me.

  “Thanks, sweetie.” I patted his taut butt.

  Serafina took an offered beer. “No. He can’t leave the Superstition Mountains.”

  “Yay, magical boundaries.” I popped the top off and took a long drink. The cold liquid rolled down my throat. Pure ambrosia.

  Grams raised her bottle. “To Rossi’s and Asmoday’s defeat. May they rot in hell forever.”

  “And not be resurrected.” I tapped my bottle against Grams’s.

  Fabian clinked his bottle to mine. “No more fire-breathing dragons.”

  “To happily ever after.” I wrapped my arms around Fabian’s neck and melded my mouth to his. Our tongues dueled for supremacy.

  “I expect a grandbaby in nine months,” Serafina pronounced.

  What? I broke the kiss. “Baby? It’s a little too soon to be thinking about children.”

  Serafina retorted, “You’re twenty-six, Mariah. It’s time you started a family.”

  “Enough, Nonna,” Fabian said adamantly.

  Grams added in her two cents, “She has a point.”

  Presto! We were in my bedroom. “Not funny, Grams.”

  Fabian pulled me close. “How do you feel about sandy beaches, warm tropical breezes, and turquoise seas?”

  “Are you talking about Tahiti?”

  “I am. I own an island there.” Fabian nibbled his way down my neck.