Body, Heart and Soul - Lucas

by Body, Heart

  When he finally dressed and made his way down to the formal parlor, he had his cold bastard exterior firmly in place. They wavered slightly when he spied Darius staring contemplatively out the large leaded glass window. He wasn’t even sure when the last time he’d seen his little brother was—or Drake, the middle Kiersen, for that matter.

  Three boys who couldn’t have been closer until their father’s secrets had obliterated what they’d all assumed had been a happy family. Knowing it wouldn’t serve in this instance, he swallowed back the tenderness and strode the rest of the way into the room.

  “Darius, what could you possibly want?”

  At the sound of his brother’s voice, Darius gave a little start but quickly regained his composure, turning slowly to face Dev while pulling an envelope from his leather jacket before holding it out.

  “I’ve visited our father.”

  Dev snorted and bypassed his brother without glancing at the envelope, keeping his back to Darius on purpose. He’d changed since Dev had last seen him. He looked…lost. Sad. Lonely. Guilt began to eat away at Devlin.

  The three boys had similar looks. All were tall and muscularly built. Each had deep blue eyes and dark hair. Darius’ seemed streaked with blonde these days, but behind the harsh edge, Dev recognized the little boy who he’d read bedtime stories to, taught fractions to, and put on his shoulders on the Fourth to see the fireworks.

  “You’re a fool then, and I’m not interested.”

  It was bad enough to have Darius here. He didn’t need reminders of their pathetic bloodlines.

  “He’s in prison, Dev. He’s lost everything.”

  Dev turned in an uncharacteristic show of fury.

  “And it’s his own damn fault! She was a goddamn child, Darius. He had no business…”

  “He loved her. He went to prison to protect her.”

  Darius’ useless childlike belief in their not-worthy-of-breath sire caught Dev’s protective side. He moved closer and lowered his voice.

  “She was fifteen. He was damn near sixty.” Darius opened his mouth to voice no doubt another defense. Dev stopped him with a hand to the shoulder and leveled the final blow. “She wasn’t the only one. He went to prison to protect that.”

  Dev stared into the eyes of the brother he loved more than anything, the one he’d been so close to for so many years, the one he would have sold his own organs to protect from this and saw the pain. It was familiar pain. It was the same he saw staring back at him in the mirror every day. Pain their bastard of a father had put there with his sick sexual preferences.

  Dev almost laughed.

  Like father, like son.

  As if he’d read his thoughts, Darius drew a slow breath and said, “You’re not like him.”

  Dev bit back a bitter laugh and only smiled.

  “You don’t know me, little brother. I’m exactly like him. Now go home before this place destroys you, too.”

  Before he changed his mind, he pulled Darius against his chest, hugging him fiercely as if he’d never see him again. When he released him, he began to walk from the room, only to be stopped by Darius’ baritone voice.

  “It’s nearly a four-hour boat ride and I just got here. I’m not leaving at least until tomorrow.”

  Then it was Darius who moved passed Dev as he headed for the foyer, leaving Dev fisting his hands at his side.

  * * * *

  Kira woke late the next morning. She could tell from where the sun was in the sky that it was much later than she usually woke but Barbara had been very clear the night before. “Sleep as late as you want, dear.” Which sounded nice, until she finished with, “I’m sure Dev and I will be pre-occupied with each other anyway.”

  She had been halfway up the stairs before she heard that part and hoped no one saw her entire body slump with the hit her heart took. Getting out of bed, she wrapped herself in the piece of lace Barbara called a robe. Peach in color, it swept the floor, but did very little to cover one’s body.

  She had a decision to make. Devlin and her surroundings were having a serious impact on her. She’d never met anyone so blatantly sexual before. Of course, most of the guys she knew were just kids, comparatively speaking.

  She pulled the lace through her fingers, staring out at the morning sun as it warmed the grounds below her window. Her mother would not approve of Devlin, or of what Kira was considering, but she was twenty-four years old and it seemed to her that her sex life shouldn’t be anyone’s business but her own. But…could she really go against everything she’d been taught all her life and embark on a purely physical relationship with Dev?

  Heaving a sigh, she straightened from the window. “That’s the question of the hour, I guess.”

  She looked around the room she’d been given upon her arrival. It was a room out of every romantic fantasy she’d ever had. From the fireplace with the fur rug, to the four-poster bed and abundant linens and even the tub—big enough for a fleet to take a dip in—she had it all at her fingertips.

  She laughed a little, a shiver taking her as she remembered Dev’s lips on her. She laughed again, admitting at last that what she’d always deemed fantasies were really no more than little-girl dreams of handsome princes and white pickets fences. She was pathetic and in over her head with a man like Dev Kiersen, who’d probably had more women than she’d known in her lifetime.

  She really couldn’t figure what a man like that saw in her in the first place.

  Deciding what she needed was a good hot bath, she went to run one. She added a glorious concoction that smelled like roses, honeysuckle, and freesia, and caused bubbles to fill the tub. While watching the water swirl around filling the large sunken tub, she wondered if Dev would like to bathe with her.

  When she caught her reddened cheeks in the bathroom mirror, she mocked herself with a bitter, “You’re ridiculous, you know.”

  A knock sounded at her door told her she probably wasn’t getting that bath now. She assumed Maggie, who Barbara sent to get her each day, had arrived to tell her that Barbara needed her.

  “Coming.” She wrapped the peach lace around her, reaching for the glass doorknob. “Is she ready for me now?”

  The door jerked away from her hand, slamming against the wall as it flew open causing a small shriek until she saw Dev’s dark, needy expression. His body looked tense and rigid with need. She held her breath.

  “I don’t know if she is or not, but I sure the hell am.”

  Chapter 6

  Dev wanted her. He needed her. He refused to look at it beyond that.

  When he’d been able to think again after Darius left the parlor, headed for the suite of rooms Barbara had given him, all he wanted was to be with Kira. The shitty thing was he hadn’t thought about having her naked, fucking her so hard and so long she wouldn’t have been able to walk the next day. He’d wanted to hold her. The need consumed him until he’d found himself tearing up the distance to her suite and slamming open her door.

  Now here she was in front of him, wearing a slip of peach fabric covered by lace, her eyes wide with shock—which pleased him—and he summoned the cold, hard bastard he knew he really was deep inside and eyed her with lecherous intent.

  She backed up; it thrilled him. Then her eyes changed, and she came forward towards him until he nearly backed up.

  “What’s happened?”

  Her tone softened with aching tenderness that made him want to slam her against the wall and tell her not to be a fool.

  “Kira, don’t,” he warned.

  She took another step closer, pain lacing her features and he knew damn well it was pain for him. Somehow, she’d seen past the façade no one else had even bothered to question, and when she reached to touch him, he grabbed her wrist, twisting it until he saw her flinch.

  “Stop playing with me,” he growled low and intense. “I don’t know what you and Barbara had planned, but right now I just need you.”

  He reached for the shoulder of her robe and tore the lace
until it fell from her body. She didn’t make a sound, her expression staying curious as if she were deciding which ploy to use on him now that he’d changed all the rules.

  That damned tender look in her eyes clawed at his conscience. To shut it up, he shoved his hand under her slip and grabbed her pussy. The heat seared through his palm. She jumped away from him, as he knew she would but left her juices glistening on his hand. He looked at it and smiled. Her scent made him near blind with frenzied want and desire. He walked toward her, marching her back towards the bed.

  “Fuck me, Kira.”

  He unbuckled his pants, kicked off his shoes, still corralling her towards the bed. When she stopped at the edge, he knew all he had to do was give her a little push and she’d be on her back and he’d be inside her within a heartbeat, but something stopped him.

  It was that damn fucking tenderness.

  She stood there looking at him as if she understood everything. As if she could comprehend the pain he lived with. It wasn’t pity—that he could have fought against. In fact, pity would have enflamed him more, made it that much easier to show her what a beast he really was, but no, she wasn’t offering him pity. She offered compassion, and that was his undoing.

  * * * *

  Kira stood still, focusing all her attention on not shaking. She wouldn’t show him that she feared him, even a little. It wasn’t that she feared what he might do to her—she knew nothing between them would ever happen against her will. Something in her trusted him without question—the fear was for whatever secrets the man held. She saw them in his eyes and they were dark, threatening to destroy him, and she couldn’t fight the spirit that rose up within her, insisting she save him.

  She watched as in an instant Dev went from fierce and threatening to crumpled and defeated. He dropped his head, running a hand through the long dark locks while sucking air deep into his lungs. When he looked back at her, the anger was gone and he looked so much like a lost little boy she was barely able to contain the urge to take him in her arms.

  “Who the hell are you, Kira? Because you sure as shit aren’t one of Barbara’s usual finds.”

  She shook her head, not certain how to answer, but a moment later, he laughed. She decided he was laughing more at himself than her as he moved away, falling with no small amount of flair onto one of the miniature overstuffed sofa’s near the fireplace. Hesitantly, she followed, knowing there was no choice other than to go to him.

  She stood by him, quietly waiting for a beat or two before falling on her knees at his feet and looking up into his dark eyes. They asked her for so much. Asked her for everything she was. Asked her for acceptance.

  “Dev.” His gaze became more focused, but she was glad to see it didn’t flare into anger this time. “If you need me, I’m here.” She drew a slow breath, placing her hand on his knee as a sardonic grin spread across his face.

  “In any way I need you, Kira?”

  She swallowed, making the decision and knowing she couldn’t go back from this moment.

  “Any way.”

  His head dropped back against the sofa, his sad laughter making his chest shake as he rubbed both eyes with the fingers from one hand. Kira silently moved and sat beside him, taking his free hand in hers. At her touch, his laughter stopped. He rolled his head along the sofa back until his eyes met hers. He reached for her, only grazing her cheek with three fingers, a sad smile softening the hard edge his face usually had.

  “My sweet Kira.”

  He held her gaze for a very long time, staring so deeply into her eyes she felt as if he were probing her very soul. His one hand held hers, fingers entwined as he moved his thumb slowly over her hand, his other caressed her cheek and lips with such benevolent need she wanted to cry.

  She’d never felt needed in all her life. In fact, quite to the contrary, she’d always felt superfluous. No one ever really needed her or cared whether she was even there or not, but Dev’s eyes cried out to her, saying a million things she started to understand he’d never allow himself to say to her directly.

  He confused her, aroused her, made her care, want, need, and desire like no man ever had or would again. She knew then that she’d do anything this man asked her. Right or wrong, it didn’t matter anymore, and if he took her heart and broke it, well at least she’d be able to say she’d taken the risk. But if she wanted this man, she knew she was going to have to be bold, read what he wanted and needed in his eyes and give it to him without ever being asked. But could she be that brave?

  She adjusted her position on the sofa so she faced him. Tucking one leg under her, she ran her hand slowly through his hair while he groaned quietly. Something about sharing the quiet with him was more sensual and intimate than anything they’d shared before and Kira felt her heart expanding to encompass this dear, sweet man who thought he was so unworthy.

  “Don’t love me, Kira. I’ll only destroy you.”

  She had no idea how long they sat there for before Dev’s voice broke the silence, but his words cut through her heart, and she found herself pulling his head against her, pressing her lips against the top of his thick hair and whispering, “I won’t love you, Dev.” Even though she feared it was already a done deal.

  * * * *

  The sun beat down into her bones. Kira expelled a contented breath and stretched out on the lounger. The sound of water trickling over the waterfall into the spa mixed with sounds of birds singing and Mozart coming from her small CD player made the entire moment perfect. It wasn’t just the sun or the peace of being alone, or even the new relationship she seemed to have with Dev ever since that morning in her suite nearly a week ago, but she was finally feeling useful.

  Barbara, at long last, started using her in an assistant-y sort of way, and she’d been busy all week, helping with the details for the next big party to be held a week from Saturday night. Kira had been on the phone the better part of two days trying to get all the costumes needed sent over immediately so the four seamstresses Barbara had hired could make any alterations in time for the ball.

  It would be a beautiful party, a mythical-themed garden party to be held in the gardens here, and there were plenty of them, she thought. Even here by the pool where she was used to stark white concrete and maybe a pretty tile edging, Barbara’s pool was lushly planted with tropical vines, trees, and large shrubs providing the area with a private enclosed feeling even if that wasn’t the case.

  She was glad no one else was by the pool this afternoon, although for the life of her she couldn’t figure why not. It was a gloriously warm day with a light breeze blowing in from the ocean, enough to keep you cool. Perfect pool weather, she thought.

  It occurred to her that maybe the other guests had taken a car out to the beach, instead. Where Barbara had encouraged her to feel like a guest, the other guests did not feel that way. Most ignored her, a few had been rude and two men in particular had said vulgar things to her and tried to catch her in an alcove in the library. She shuddered now even thinking about that awful scene. If that’s what Barbara’s other guests were like, she’d rather be thought of as the help.

  She reached down for the tiny spray bottle and spritzed her skin, dousing the sheen of sweat attempting to break out. Only Dev ever had a kind word to say to her, it seemed. Of course, she found him to be a man of few words in general, but man when he did speak; it was always noteworthy. She’d run across him as she was headed out and had nearly asked him to join her, but held back at the last minute. Ever since that morning in her suite, she’d felt so much more comfortable around him, but she didn’t think the same was true for him.

  Now, each of their encounters seemed to end with him unsure and backing away. He hadn’t touched her since that morning or even made any blatantly sexual overtures. If it weren’t for the heat still burning in his gaze whenever he looked at her and the fact that she’d discovered him watching her sleep almost every night since then, she might have thought he’d lost interest.

  She turned onto he
r stomach to allow the sun to bathe her back, never stopping her musings about the man who seemed to stand guard over her now most every night.

  She would never be certain what had wakened her that first night, but she’d instantly caught his figure in the moonlight and her heart told her it was he, even though she couldn’t make out his face in the shadows. He stood by the window, looking over the gardens. She smelled a cigarette, but he didn’t appear to have one at that moment. She wondered whether she should go to him or not.

  Remaining motionless, she watched him from the bed, feigning sleep if ever he looked her way. When he returned to her side, he so gently pushed her hair from her face, his lips coming to rest on her forehead.

  “Sleep, my beautiful.”

  Some nights, he sat beside her, holding her hand, caressing it softly, others he paced almost the entire time. She finally decided that if he knew she was awake, he’d leave. So she played asleep while he played guard. It was all rather strange, but she’d take what she could get until she had him better figured out.

  “Well. And here I thought I was the only one who preferred the lap pool to the grotto. Apparently not.”

  Kira turned her head sharply in the direction the voice had come, certain it was Dev, but when her eyes landed on the man lying a towel across the vinyl-strapped lounger, regardless of how much he looked like Dev, it wasn’t him.

  She stared—no, it was definitely more like gawking—at the other man, cataloging the similarities and the difference between him and Dev. The most distinct difference was the hair. Where Dev’s was long and wavy like a rogue or a pirate, this man’s hair was cropped short. Maybe not military short, but she could see ears and most of his neck.

  She’d never seen Dev any way other than fully dressed, so she couldn’t very well compare the beautifully sculpted pecs or the amount of chest hair, but she could enjoy the view currently in front of her and it was drop-dead, dry-mouthed magnificent. There were no tattoos, but a diamond stud sparkled in his left ear, and though he wore conservative navy swim trunks, they didn’t entirely hide the well-muscled physique beneath.